why do you think this is?

[sosilky]

i have gone threw my nice guy phase, i've gone threw my jerk phase, after that I went through a confused jerk/nice guy phase because being jerk had its flaws even though i was getting laid. after reading the bible i understand now about being a just an all around good guy,

Why is that we are raised on all the wrong ways to treat women? why are movies and tv shows portraying to us exactly how not to do things? and if thats not how its done and it doesn't make any sense why do they make so much money?

same thing goes for music. All popular music is filled with AFC lyrics.

Also i've noticed that there are guys out there that come off as a all around good guy and wind up dusting the girl after they get laid. This is why i thought that approach was wrong and being a ****. (justanother **** using good guy game that i wouldn't want around my sister.)

any coments?

 

[WC2]

Most likely because women don't want to be labeled for what they sometimes are; *****s. Either that, or men choose not to believe that they are (fooling themselves).

Now, don't hate on me right away, because not all women are like this! But how do you think the main character of a movie would look if she cheated on her boyfriend with some jerk with half a brain? Exactly. Movies and music attempt to make us believe that all good things come back to you, while in reality they don't; not always at least.

I've never tried to be a "jerk", but then again I've never been an overly nice guy. Sure, I'll do you a favor every now and then, but when push comes to shove it's myself and myself alone. I'm my own man who doesn't need support from a woman and doesn't need a woman to help me make decisions. Now some women will call this man a jerk, but deep down women crave a man who leads his own life.

You don't have to be a jerk to attract women. Set a path for yourself and walk it without letting a woman get in your way. Magically, you'll see that instead of walking on their own path, women will try to walk with you on yours, as you lead them. An abstract analogy, yes, but very true in my own experience. So next time you think jerk vs good guy, reevaluate the statement and think more along the lines as independent man vs dependent man.

 

[Mavrick]

Hollywood and western culture is feminized. You're becoming unplugged from the matrix. You're coming around.

 

[sosilky]

You don't have to be a jerk to attract women. Set a path for yourself and walk it without letting a woman get in your way. Magically, you'll see that instead of walking on their own path, women will try to walk with you on yours, as you lead them. An abstract analogy, yes, but very true in my own experience. So next time you think jerk vs good guy, reevaluate the statement and think more along the lines as independent man vs dependent man.

yes but can't you be overly independent? i mean if your a self absorbed narcissist your gonna wind up with women yes but just a differnt breed, dependant chicks that are willing to work around your schedule.

 

[dice]

u asked for my opinion so here it is..

The person is smart, people are stupid.

Common sense says...

If you want someone, male or female, to like you, than you should be EXTRA nice and suck up to them and give them everything that they want and tell them how much you appreciate them. (?)

Not if you want to get laid.

Since this is what EVERY guy does, the one who is different is the one that prevails. The Don Juan is who he is, and whether the girl he finds attractive loves him, likes him, thinks hes cool but would never get with him, hates his ****ing guts, thinks hed make a good friend, wants took hook him up with her sister... The Don Juan could really give a rats ass. He knows he is way better than anything she could get.. and if hes not right now he will be very very shortly because his focus is on his own life and nothing will stop him from improving. His competition.. they might know this secret.. but they don't have the support of a DJ Bible.. or an entire forum.. to back him up.

 

[sosilky]

u asked for my opinion so here it is..

The person is smart, people are stupid.

Common sense says...

If you want someone, male or female, to like you, than you should be EXTRA nice and suck up to them and give them everything that they want and tell them how much you appreciate them. (?)

Not if you want to get laid.

Since this is what EVERY guy does, the one who is different is the one that prevails. The Don Juan is who he is, and whether the girl he finds attractive loves him, likes him, thinks hes cool but would never get with him, hates his ****ing guts, thinks hed make a good friend, wants took hook him up with her sister... The Don Juan could really give a rats ass. He knows he is way better than anything she could get.. and if hes not right now he will be very very shortly because his focus is on his own life and nothing will stop him from improving. His competition.. they might know this secret.. but they don't have the support of a DJ Bible.. or an entire forum.. to back him up.

that was a nice speech but you didn't realy address anything i brought up

 

[ChrizZ]

Desperate people are willing to do anything.

Every movie portrays the guy that gets girls as rich, high on the social ladder, in good shape, tall and handsome

This creates the simple equation that 99.9% of people believe the only way to get girls is:

Hard work = Sex

It's the matrix, fellas.

 

[ready123]

if you ever get ahold of the Blueprint Decoded, 1/4 of it is dedicated to explaining social conditioning and why things are the way they are

 

[sosilky]

Desperate people are willing to do anything.

Every movie portrays the guy that gets girls as rich, high on the social ladder, in good shape, tall and handsome

This creates the simple equation that 99.9% of people believe the only way to get girls is:

Hard work = Sex

It's the matrix, fellas.

or they show the Rudy type guy score the chickl in the end when she realizes what a **** she's nailing

 

[sosilky]

if you ever get ahold of the Blueprint Decoded, 1/4 of it is dedicated to explaining social conditioning and why things are the way they are

Blue print Decoded?

 

[reset]

Nice guy and jerk are labels we give ourselves until we find that "middle way", which is the center between the two extremes.

Nice guys are people pleasers, they are nice on the SURFACE. In reality, they are phonies. They are afraid of everyone so they think that if they are really nice, and are liked, they will gain some control over the people that are so threatening to them.

Likewise, jerks are tough and macho on the surface. In reality they are scared of the power other people seem to have over them, so instead of taking the people pleasing route, they take the "fvck them over before they fvck me over" route. They are phonies too. They just try to gain control over other people, through force.

Nice guys do it with supplicating, jerks do it with being aggressive and through intimidation. Both project their insecurities onto the scary world around them.

Freedom comes when you realize this fear is coming from YOU, not other people.

What follows needs to be experienced for yourself. Basically, you do the right thing at the right time, in the right way. Most likely, you'll carry yourself with dignity and treat people with respect (good guy) and be assertive and stick up for yourself when the need arises (strong guy).

Good guy + strong guy= real man, the proper balance of both traits.

 

[sosilky]

Nice guy and jerk are labels we give ourselves until we find that "middle way", which is the center between the two extremes.

Nice guys are people pleasers, they are nice on the SURFACE. In reality, they are phonies. They are afraid of everyone so they think that if they are really nice, and are liked, they will gain some control over the people that are so threatening to them.

Likewise, jerks are tough and macho on the surface. In reality they are scared of the power other people seem to have over them, so instead of taking the people pleasing route, they take the "fvck them over before they fvck me over" route. They are phonies too. They just try to gain control over other people, through force.

Nice guys do it with supplicating, jerks do it with being aggressive and through intimidation. Both project their insecurities onto the scary world around them.

Freedom comes when you realize this fear is coming from YOU, not other people.

What follows needs to be experienced for yourself. Basically, you do the right thing at the right time, in the right way. Most likely, you'll carry yourself with dignity and treat people with respect (good guy) and be assertive and stick up for yourself when the need arises (strong guy).

Good guy + strong guy= real man, the proper balance of both traits.

and your opinon on why we are raised or taught to be jerks or nice and why music and moovies bank on both?

 

[sosilky]

if you ever get ahold of the Blueprint Decoded, 1/4 of it is dedicated to explaining social conditioning and why things are the way they are

could you try taking a stab at explaing me just what social conditioning and the matrix is?

 

[KontrollerX]

"Why is that we are raised on all the wrong ways to treat women? why are movies and tv shows portraying to us exactly how not to do things? and if thats not how its done and it doesn't make any sense why do they make so much money?"

Feminism is the norm these days.

Its had a great impact for equality but a devastating negative impact on both men and women socially. A lot worse for men though.

TV shows and other mind rot put out by the media these days portrays men as stupid and completely helpless if not for the brilliant woman in our lives holding it all together subtley re-inforcing the feminist message that men are weak and women are strong.

Also there are symp/AFC type songs such as that garbage put out by Sean Kingston titled "Beautiful Girls" or some such advocating a young man commit suicide if he is not able to obtain his "dream girl" which in and of itself is a societal myth concept as there is no "one" for anyone but many "ones" that you would be compatible with but unlike the fantasy of "the one" put out by the media and the brainwashed magical thinking society we live in all of these compatible "ones" you might find have not been specially put on earth by god or some magical force especially for you. They are partners you must in reality seek out and find for yourself ie hunter gatherer ie cold hard reality. Not destiny, not fantasy, not myth but the truth of the way things are.

As for TV shows and other media things telling us the wrong thing I think it partially comes from an honest place in the feminist movement ie they genuinely do believe they want prince charming, Mr. Right, nice guys and what have you but in reality the feminist women and most women want a guy that can charm their panties off and laughs at the idea of being tied down (known in feminist circles as "being afraid of committment).

We DJ's are not afraid of committment, its just not our thing for the most part. We are about freedom and accomplishing our life goals first and women second. Unless of course the woman we decide to let into our lives is working towards the same goals.

Occasionally people do have the same career aspirations after all or ones so similar there can be a benefit of working together towards a common goal.

The poster backbreaker was a good example of this before he was run off by trolls and the growing number of negative nancies infecting the forum in that his dreams surrounded winning money betting on horse racing as he was very good at it and his girlfriend was a person that had a job taking care of the horses or some such.

In this way they were working towards common goals and dreams.

Now I'm not saying start dating chicks in your work place as you should avoid taking a sh!t where you eat but in some circumstances such as meeting a chick outside of the work environment like BB did and finding out you both are extremely compatible and share extremely similar dreams well sometimes it might be alright to take the risk and work towards those goals together.

This however is a highly personal decision and best made by a DJ that fully knows himself and has learned to read people quite well to be able to judge his woman's character.

The people that laugh at "inner game" should simply stick to keeping their dreams and their woman's dreams seperate.

"Also i've noticed that there are guys out there that come off as a all around good guy and wind up dusting the girl after they get laid. This is why i thought that approach was wrong and being a ****. (justanother **** using good guy game that i wouldn't want around my sister.)"

They are still good guys despite getting rid of the girl after they've slept with her.

They both had their reasons for engaging in the sexual act so neither can make the claim that the other was used but the feminists like to brainwash the AFC male population that this is what you are doing as a man if you have sex with some chick and don't give into a relationship with her afterwards.

Honestly man there is so much brainwashing from feminism's effect and the media continually pumping this sh!t out that many brothers here myself included are still unplugging from it daily as we think and learn more.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Well, society hasn't exactly got things figured out. It wasn't too long ago that you married out of high school, and you were expected to stay married. It wasn't considered too bad to beat your wife. Then the cultural and sexual revolutions came around, and threw everything to the wind. Everything is incredibly complicated. That's why there are no clear answers. Men don't know what's expected of them. They hear that they are supposed to be sensitive, so they are, and they end up alone. It's confusing. I mean, there's people out there who believe that Earth is going to be run by women in the near future....like planet of the apes...only, with women in charge instead of apes. And even those people can't agree on anything.
Then there are counter-movements that are male centered....this sounds like it would be good, but these guys are morons...talking about how the toilet seat should be left, instead of how they should improve themselves, and take responsibility.
It's a jungle out there (and I'm rambling).

Then there's the average working person. They base their lives around the crap they watch on tv, cause they have no life, nor thoughts of their own.
What's stupid about that, is most of it is crap, designed to sell product, tickets, or CDs.

Basically, to answer the original question....because the world is imperfect.

 

[sosilky]

are u saying

We DJ's are not afraid of committment, its just not our thing for the most part. We are about freedom and accomplishing our life goals first and women second. Unless of course the woman we decide to let into our lives is working towards the same goals.

Occasionally people do have the same career aspirations after all or ones so similar there can be a benefit of working together towards a common goal.

The poster backbreaker was a good example of this before he was run off by trolls and the growing number of negative nancies infecting the forum in that his dreams surrounded winning money betting on horse racing as he was very good at it and his girlfriend was a person that had a job taking care of the horses or some such.

So are you saying that a movie producer couldn't date a girl that is an engineer? arent there other common goals they could have besides career?

 

[Corona]

"Art imitates life"

TV, film, and music are only caricatures of what life actually is. The main problem is that people tend to associate these caricatures with real life.

Some people can blame AFC-ism on the "liberalization" or "feminization" of popular culture, which I agree with in some ways, but any man who wants to rise above "averageness" can eventually see beyond these misrepresentations and will learn the natural processes of male/female interactions.

 

[KontrollerX]

The main idea behind the "goal oriented" advice I and other posters have given is to prevent slowdown or a complete stopping of achieving your goals.

Relationships have been known to be dream killers as they often put your aspirations, dreams and goals on hold while you devote much of your time to making your woman happy, your time devoted to trying to fulfill your dreams and her's at the same time which slows you down and maybe stops you completely if she continually tries to get you to focus on her instead of accomplishing what you've always wanted to in life or you simply get too worn out to continue persuing your dream while trying to hold things together on two fronts.

Thats why its encouraged here for young men or men in general with great dreams to put all of their energy and focus on those first and only have flings with women here and there until you have completed your mission and reached your goal.

The advice has you avoid a real relationship until then but if you can find a woman while persuing your dreams that shares your dream you can have a real relationship and fulfill your goals and dreams at the same time.

A win win.

 

[Nighthawk]

Movies are AFC partly because they are often written by AFCs - for example Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind was a great movie in many ways, but totally reinforced the idea that a man should put up with a crazy chick who treats him like crap, and even choose to do it all over again, or are marketed that way because that's what the women and AFC target audience find palatable - Jerks get punished, sweet guys get rewarded. The only alpha males you see in movies these days are in action movies. In the old days they would be in romantic comedies as the lead.

There is a lot of pressure from special interest groups, inculding women, to never be offended by anything. So if you can't show women as the butt of the joke? Make a man look dumb. Oh and if he gets kicked in the balls? Comedy gold.

I read an interview recently with the actress from 'Knocked Up' and she said she'd got a lot of feedback that the movie was negative towards women in that it showed the woman as too serious, while the men were portrayed as fun and likeable. Like it's not as if the movie showed the men as smart or responsible either, but women must always be portrayed in the most flattering light at all times. Meanwhile every other TV, ad and movie shows men as complete idiots.

Ok, I'm ranting now. The answer is that women made a strong case for wanting the 'new man' a few decades ago, society and the media changed accordingly, women slowly discovered they had buyers remorse and preferred the non-***** man they'd rejected but are still largely in denial and/or are too proud to fess up, so society and the media are still largely promoting this out-dated model of masculinity.

 

[sosilky]

well

The main idea behind the "goal oriented" advice I and other posters have given is to prevent slowdown or a complete stopping of achieving your goals.

Relationships have been known to be dream killers as they often put your aspirations, dreams and goals on hold while you devote much of your time to making your woman happy, your time devoted to trying to fulfill your dreams and her's at the same time which slows you down and maybe stops you completely if she continually tries to get you to focus on her instead of accomplishing what you've always wanted to in life or you simply get too worn out to continue persuing your dream while trying to hold things together on two fronts.

Thats why its encouraged here for young men or men in general with great dreams to put all of their energy and focus on those first and only have flings with women here and there until you have completed your mission and reached your goal.

The advice has you avoid a real relationship until then but if you can find a woman while persuing your dreams that shares your dream you can have a real relationship and fulfill your goals and dreams at the same time.

A win win.

well for intance my girlfriend and i had a dream to move to california together. she does human resources at an engineering firm. It will probably take 10 years to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. Right now I'm finishing college studying business and communications. I don't see how her career could get in the way of that though. but i see what your saying about trying to balance the two. but when i achieve great things i set the bar higher and go for something new. Why can't she join my ride? she could be an interior designer or architect i don't care. whyt should we get in eachothers way.?