why do you think this is?

[KontrollerX]

If you can manage it more power to you bro.

We all post helpful things here but by no means is anything law.

There are exceptions to every rule.

 

[sosilky]

If you can manage it more power to you bro.

We all post helpful things here but by no means is anything law.

There are exceptions to every rule.

guess i'm just playing devil's advocate. I'd like to think I could be with someone outside my career. but you seem to think its to much work. i guess i was looking for you to expend

 

[ready123]

What Kontroller's saying - there's a breed of guy, because he's so desperate for a relationship or doesn't know how to assert himself in a relationship, ends up losing momentum or sacrificing his dreams. He looks at women and relationships from a place of scarcity. This type of guy would be best off focusing on self-actualization as opposed to losing himself in something that'll derail his purpose in life. And what's ironic about it all is ambition is an attractive quality to a girl and giving up your goals easily or for no good reason subcommunicates lower value. So if you're the type of guy who would give up your dreams for a relationship, you're also the type of guy who's more likely to lose a relationship. So in a way it IS better to wait until you get a more grounded reality

But if that's not you, then trust your own judgement. I don't really see LTRs as conflicting with my personal goals unless it's a crappy LTR. Other than the fact you need to be more time efficient in an relationship, I don't really see LTR's and personal goals as mutually exclusive.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

ditto what alot of posters said above. Here is my unique take on things, and to answer you question about movies and such specifically, check it out:

point 1: the partner up for life model we have today was created a few thousand years ago to keep guys from killing each other for "their women" sleeping around. "One man gets one woman" keeps this kind of mellow (except people now cheat in secret, but thats kind of off topic).

point 2: because most people have zero game, they only hook up few times in life, hence the scarcity model. Anything that is scarce is percieved to be WAY more valuable that it really is (ref. Cialdini).

point 3: when one experiences the wonderful feelings of sex and affection through a frame of scarcity, the "feeling" of love is created. This coupled with the social conditioning of "partners for life" creates the myth that is some wonderful life changing event. Kind of like a drug. Only, this feeling is fleeting.

point 4: people like to make money. they sell whatever crazy sh!t they can come up with. what you see in society today, is what has sold the most over the past generations. One of these things is sappy love stories and songs, because it reminds people of that "love" they expereinced long ago, or the "love" they hope to experience someday. Disney and all that. I personally believe that the CEO's, the driving forces, behind all these are quite alpha.

The take away ? (what this means for you...)

Once you realize the "one true love" is a self deluded fantasy, you can de-hypnotize yourself of the effect women have on you. And you start to see the world a little more clearly. And you take a step back and go "hmmmmm what the fvkk do I want out of life...." and then you, though effort, trial and error and all that, go into this wonderful world and get exactly that.

not so bad, hey?

 

[MacAvoy]

Why is that we are raised on all the wrong ways to treat women?

Here's my take... Who the fvck cares? What does it matter why we were raised that way? The fact is thats the way it is, thinking about the reasoning behind it isn't going to change anything.

However now that you see the way it really is, just focus on utilizing that knowledge to improve yourself. Don't waste your time worrying about the matrix or why society is the way it is, focus on improving yourself and beating the game.

Too many guys around here are so hung up on the matrix that they don't live their life, they worry about avoiding the matrix. IMO thats just negativity and doesn't serve to getting you ahead.

 

[sosilky]

Here's my take... Who the fvck cares? What does it matter why we were raised that way? The fact is thats the way it is, thinking about the reasoning behind it isn't going to change anything.

However now that you see the way it really is, just focus on utilizing that knowledge to improve yourself. Don't waste your time worrying about the matrix or why society is the way it is, focus on improving yourself and beating the game.

Too many guys around here are so hung up on the matrix that they don't live their life, they worry about avoiding the matrix. IMO thats just negativity and doesn't serve to getting you ahead.

I'm sorry mac avoy but iddon't agree with you. We study history to understand the present. And when it comes to improving your self you can adopt the thinking and go through the motions but the underlying root problem if not dealt and understand with where everything stems from you are sure to relapse.

In this case I want to understand where this thinking about women has come from. Some of the explanations guys have given on feminism in america and stuff has helped. I wuld still like to know what the matrix is and that conditioning stuff to.

 

[MacAvoy]

And thats your choice. I simply shared my opinion. I agree history has its spot but personally I'm not going to dwell on the past. I remember when I was in high school math class and we would learn something new and people would question why a math law exists. I was never one of those people, I just accepted it and applied it. I didn't bother wasting my time pondering why. Thats just the way I am.

However my point was that a lot of people around here get hung up on negativty or on unpluggin from the matrix. I chose not to, I choose to take a positive attitude. You will see a lot of negativity in threads. For the most part I try to take a positive approach unless a guy needs a b1tch slap to smarten him up or some tough love.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Why is that we are raised on all the wrong ways to treat women? why are movies and tv shows portraying to us exactly how not to do things? and if thats not how its done and it doesn't make any sense why do they make so much money...

It's easier to just keep doing the same things that those before us have done. Unless you start defining your life, your beliefs and your identity on your own terms you will continue to feel conflicted. There's no one authoritative manual which will work for every guy, for every situation, for every woman.

What it all comes down to is what works for you as an individual. The thing is "works" to some just means getting laid. There could be many other facets which could include looks, intelligence, mindset, goals, etc. You need to determine what you want and to what extent and then work on what you need to do to achieve those things. We're all different and trying to pattern yourself after someone else won't get you more that what they get.