Maxtro said:
I don’t think the anorexic girl example is that good. There is nothing preventing an anorexic from eating besides her own self-beliefs. It’s not like there is a lack of food and that it’s hard to get.
So your problem with the anorexic girl analogy is that there's "nothing preventing an anorexic girl from eating besides her own self-beliefs. It's not like there's a lack of food and that it’s hard to get."
BINGO - you have just perfectly described my thinking for why guys don't get women. Women are everywhere, they are not hard to get. It is just our own negative beliefs that stop us. That is just my opinion, and obviously you disagree. But my analogy had the effect I wanted.
Possibly a better example is a person on a Midwestern plain. The only things edible are the buffalo which are plentiful. All you have to do to eat is to kill one but since you don’t have any weapons you have to figure out how.
That makes sense to me. We're probably quibbling over different ways to say the same thing - I do believe that everyone already knows how to get women - it's as easy and hard as learning to tell the whole truth.
So for the sexless males, women are the buffalo. Until we figure out how to hunt, we starve.
Lol what a crazy set of examples.
A metaphor with women as prey is actually very common. I do not view women as prey - I encourage them to participate and cooperate in our mutual seduction. But I understand what you mean by the metaphor.
What is wrong with being self-centered? Either we are focused on ourselves or we die. It’s as simple as that. Who should be the number one person in my life? Me. If I don’t watch out for myself, who else will?
I know exactly what you mean. And in fact, I strongly encourage enlightened self-interest. Doing good things for others makes me feel good, and so I'm glad I do them. By doing good things for worthy people, I develop a sense that I deserve good things, and good things come to me.
When I spoke about being self-centered - I meant a kind of selfishness that is warped, that is blind to ways that giving to others can make us feel great about ourselves. Some people who just chase sex but who forget that doing good for worthy people makes you feel good. People who are so obsessed with sex (or their lack of it), are not protecting their enlightened self-interest.
But yes, lacking sex does mess up the priorities. I know that doing good in school is MUCH more important than trying to get laid. Do I spend as much time focusing on my school work and studying as I spend thinking about girls? Hell no!
Family, friends, hobbies, getting involved in the community, reading, learning, making things with your hands etc. are also way more important than girls. I say important because, although most people try to receive all their happiness from girls, there's a ton of research that shows that the above creates much more long-term happiness than girls.
How many of those people that you know that have “a fulfilling relationship with family and friends, with hobbies and a great job/course of study” are single? By single I mean not dating anybody and have no source of sex? Find me a happy man that hasn’t had sex in a year and I’ll be very surprised.
I mean guys whose only source of sex is their hand. I was very happy the past year and a half - like deliriously happy. My life was wonderful. I know lots of guys like that - I'm just thinking of close friends, because I don't want to guess about people I don't really know how happy they are. But nine guys come to mind off the top of my head. Many of them could have sex but choose not to. Some are more clueless but have developed the important parts of life that truly make you happy.
But I agree that the average guy off the street, your average guy in high school has not developed the really important parts of life that make being happy without obsessing about sex possible. A lot of TV shows, movies, and songs will claim that happiness while single is impossible. But our culture has a lot of junk values. Once waded through, I have seen how trite most of these values and beliefs are.
Izza
