Why do you do what you do?

[blueguy]

But I think the honest truth is that this question is only asked once a person gets stuck into a mundane routine. We've all been in one. Squirrels must be in one. It's time to find something new and exciting to enjoy. If squirrels was an upcoming rockstar travelling the world, he wouldn't be asking this question. He'd be too excited for it to cross his mind. He'd only ask the question AFTER it was over. Life is not pointless when you enjoy it. When you enjoy life, you do not give a crap if somebody in the future knows who you were. This is the problem. He does not enjoy life right now. Simple. And he thinks life is only validated by others in the future rather than your own experiences in the present, which is wrong. So the answer is to broaden your horizons and find something new and exciting.

I think another issue here is the belief that new knowledge makes things boring. New knowledge actually multiplies the capacity for additional knowledge exponentially. Things begin to get more interesting. There are more options now than ever before. More discoveries happening now than ever before.

I get stuck in periods of life where I don't want to go to sleep because I'm so excited about the things going on. Right now is one of those times. I bet if you were to ask squirrel, he wouldn't say so. It takes effort to find new things to get excited about.

This question does not need to be asked. Because it is not going to be answered. It is like asking, what came before life on earth? It is not going to be answered unless there is an afterlife in which the creator would reveal more about the nature of things.

 

[Bonhomme]

What motivates me is a devotion to quality and optimization that goes right to the core. I've always wanted better, regardless of what's been going on in my life, even when I've considered myself "contented." There are always things to improve: both personally, and regarding the world I'm part of.

As for your situation, squirrels, it looks like there's a sort of low-level depression, which is probably biochemical in nature. I can sense a motivation to get over your lack of motivation, and that's the indicator.

The problem is there are so many, many ways this can happen. For example, I was in the sh1tter for many years, and the main root cause, improbable as it may seem, turned out to be food allergies. Avoiding those foods turned my mental state completely around. Underproduction of mood elevating brain chemicals, such as norepinephrine (s?), serotonin (underproduction of which correlates with suicidal tendencies and lack of sleep), etc. is another possibility, and there are many possible causes of that (for example, abuse of certain drugs, not to imply you've done any of that). And those are just a few possibilities.

A good diet, good nutrition, and enough exercise can help, but still might not be enough in and of themselves. There are some effective nutritional ways to boost the production of certain brain chemicals.

 

[Live-n-learn]

See, life is like hiking trip in the woods. If you don't have a destination, you just wander around and get lost. But, if you have a destination, you'll refer to your compass and periodically get/keep yourself on track.

Some people stare at their compass while walking through the woods out of fear of getting lost.

Others never check their compass and get lost.

You have to have, find, or make a balance between enjoying the scenery, stopping for rest, diversions, sidetracks, and plain old "head down, nose to the grindstone" effort.

Relax. Get lost on purpose. Sleep in late. Take a break. Go fishing. But get up one morning, pull out the compass, and get back on the trail.

No trail?

Make your own.

See, if you have enough woods/survival skills (life skills), you can fux around all you want and get by having a good time. Hell, you don't even need a desitination if your destination is the woods - get it? You're already there! Look around! What motivation do you need?

Those without these "life skills" plow through life scared and lead miserable "by the plan" lives - their focus only on the compass. These people usually walk right past their destination and never know it, so they keep going... never happy with "where they are at", just following the trail.
:nono:

I really like this analogy, Vulpine. It also makes me want to go on a hiking trip!

I can relate to the OP. I've felt that I wasted my teenage years, the years I look back as being unproductive in becoming the person I wanted (or thought I wanted) to be. But it's a process, a process that is not set in stone nor any guidelines or direction. If it weren't for our failures, we wouldn't have our successes. If we didn't screw up with that one girl that drove us to SoSuave, we may have never found SoSuave and become who we are today (and the person we are working towards being in the future). The idea of purpose have always implied to me as something to accomplish. Once this purpose is fulfilled, what then?

We have a lot of amazing responses in this thread. Going back to Vulpine's hiking analogy, as others have stated, you may just be ignoring living in the present. I myself, still struggle with "living in the present". And the structure of our society and lifestyle does make it a little harder for us to focus on living in the present when it throws us around with financial concerns, baits us with idealogy and perceived images of what is "right". We need to keep challenging ourselves to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. I know that I'm in a comfort zone now, and working on getting myself out of it is a top priority for me. Believe that things will turn out well. We can't control everything in our lives, but again, we can absolutely control our thoughts. Keep it positive. I'm rooting for you all, as for those of us who still struggling to get out of difficult times. Keep fighting!

 

[Bonhomme]

@Bomhomme

You forgot to mention the influence of the thoughts that are popping around in his head.

Everyone else is doing that already. If I didn't have something different to add, no point in posting.

It's sort of a feedback mechanism between thoughts and biochemistry, but it's my personal experience that brain biochemistry is by far the major factor for most people. That's why there are people who keep an upbeat attitude despite extreme misfortunes and others who are miserable though their circumstances are very good.

The field doesn't lie.

 

[squirrels]

Never abused drugs.

I'm concerned about the side-effects of taking anything to increase serotonin (i.e. antidepressants) because of the other side-effects they could have. Although it may be something worth considering. Are there any natural foods you would specifically recommend to increase serotonin production?

 

[Wyldfire]

Never abused drugs.

I'm concerned about the side-effects of taking anything to increase serotonin (i.e. antidepressants) because of the other side-effects they could have. Although it may be something worth considering. Are there any natural foods you would specifically recommend to increase serotonin production?

I believe there are some foods and some supplements that can be taken. The best way to increase it is through exercise, though. Do you have a sit down job where you aren't moving around enough?

 

[Bonhomme]

Increasing the production of serotonin and other mood-enhancing brain chemicals naturally is very do-able. A protein/complex carb meal, combined with vitamins B-complex and C in sufficient amounts (which varies per individual) is one way. Something about the mix of proteins with sufficient tryptophan (the amino acid precursor) and complex carbs gets it going.

Info on the amino acid composition of foods is available online. Most animal proteins have plenty of tryptophan, as do whole grains, which also provide complex carbs.

 

[Wyldfire]

Seriously...just start running every morning. It also works immediately and is good for you. It's cheaper and less trouble than anything else you could do.

 

[grinder]

I'm having trouble motivating myself to improve any more...in women, in my career, in my life.

I'm in this mindset now where everything seems trivial and unimportant. I COULD put a sh!tload of effort into trying to make changes in my life, but my life seems so inconsequential in the grand scope of things that I have trouble motivating myself to do anything.

So what motivates you? Why do you do the things you do to make better men out of yourselves? What significance do you derive from your life that makes you feel like being "more" than you are right now is something worth putting in extreme effort?

Wow this has really morphed into a “meaning of life” thread.

All these posts are great. And they’re all different. Hum. Interesting.

Oh, the meaning of life for me is raking leaves. Yep, that’s it for today. It might be different tomorrow, but I don’t know what that will be yet, nor do I care.

 

[Latinoman]

Pick a long term goal. An achievable one of course. Then come with a plan on how to get there. This might require several mid and short term goals that will get you closer.

Why this is important? For starters

- if you ever change your mind on your long term goal, at least you accomplished several short term and midterm goals. Therefore a sense of accomplishmentm

-you won't lose motivation, because you are accoplishing the short and midterm goals. More sense of accomplishments.

For example (simplistic example), you are a high school kid that want to go to Harvard Law School. To accomplish that you must first obtain an undergraduate degree and be nearly the top of your class. But to do that, you might want to go to a good undergraduate university. And the ticket to that might be a great GPA in high school and a good SAT score.

So you get a 3.8 gpa and score over 2000 in the SAT. That short term goal gives you a sense of accomishment and motivates you to go to your next goal (undergrad school). And so on.

But if you don't set those little goals, your goal will only become a "dream". I don't have dreams. I have goals and a plan to reach them.

Women? That should never be a goal. In you sef improve yourself, then you will realize that you are a prize. Smart women will see that.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...it is okay to change your mind. I did several times in my life too.

But by doing (and accoplishing) the short term goals that were devised by coming with a plan to reach the long term goal...I was able to identify early that it was not what I wanted. However reaching the short term goals gave me a sense of accomplishment and allowed me to feel that I changed directions under my own terms.

Furthermore, I am extremely multitasked. I can do or work or talk about almost anything.

Trust me...if you come with a plan and a series of short term and midterm goals will allow you to see things before going to the 30 year mark. I will venture to say that if you at 27 do NOT change your path in 10 years...then you have probably not grow that much professionally.

Don't feel fear for trying to do something. As the only fear shall be the fear of doing nothing.

 

[Wyldfire]

About medication...

Prescriptions are NOT something YOU decide you want to try because of commercials or suggestions from other people. You go to a doctor and IF you need medication they will prescribe it for you. Too many people are taking medications they do NOT need to take because they see it advertised on TV and in magazines and go to the doctor and ask for it.

Unless he goes to a doctor and the doctor tells him that he needs medication he does NOT need medication.

If he wants to NATURALLY boost the "happy" chemicals in his brain the quickest, safest, most effective and healthy way to do so is to start running. It's FREE, won't involve side effects and risks from taking drugs and will also get him in great shape, make him live longer and look better. It will give him more energy all day, too.

Why on earth so many people push prescription drugs is beyond me. Get off your ass and exercise...it will do more for you for a minor funk than any medication will.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'm really sick of all you fucking idiots who think its "intelligent" or a great thing to question what is the significance of purpose.

NO it doesn't take a smart person to reach any stage..Only loser retards on sosuave who are failures and resent themselves think it is elite to question motivation..EVERYONE ELSE focuses on living and they DO NOT WORRY about stupid trivial questions that have no effect on their lives.

If you do something you love and your feelings change over time that does NOT mean you wasted your time..it means your ready to move on to NEW things and find different motivators.

This fvcking guy is on the fvcking ball!

Bravo! A good kick to the sac is what these fvcks need. Rep point to you.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Most animal proteins have plenty of tryptophan, as do whole grains, which also provide complex carbs.

Turkey is loaded with Tryptophan. Who'da thought I'd learn so much worthless information from Seinfeld?

 

[Wyldfire]

People are on prescription drugs because they have diseases and disorders that they can't simply snap out of with diet and exercise. It doesn't take an MD (something I have and you don't) to know that.

If squirrels believes he is sick he should see a doctor because he feels sick. He should NOT listen to anyone on here telling him he should go ask for a specific medication. I don't care if you are an MD or not...it takes an examination and evaluation to know what is wrong (if anything) with someone and medication cannot be prescribed until such a time that such exams and evals are completed.

Even people who are mildly depressed don't necessarily need medication. If it is a mild reactive depression without any suicidal thoughts it often CAN be resolved with a change in diet and exercise as well as counseling. Furthermore, MDs should NOT be prescribing medication for psychological or emotional illnesses unless they are Psychiatrists. That's how depressed and addictive personalities end up hooked on opiates, benzos and pop name brand happy pills advertised on TV and spam email like tic tacs. (I'm a Psychology student)

 

[Wyldfire]

^thats why I said, the choice is up to him. Why don't you read my post before answering with 10,000 word responses to everything on this forum. You're now on ignore... that makes me what, the 300th person that has you on ignore here..

Actually...you told him to try Wellbutrin and I made the post that no one should ever go to a doctor asking for a specific medication because that's up to a doctor to decide what is wrong with them and what, if any medication should be given. You then chose to be snarky with my post and then threw the MD thing out there.

I'm all for you putting me on ignore if you're going to get bent out of shape when someone disagrees with you...one less mosquito to swat for me.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Squirrels, in this earthly realm, peace of mind should be your goal - there is no greater goal than to keep one's sanity and well-being!!

 

[Bonhomme]

I don't know what kind of shape you're in, squirrels, but do know this: running is good for peace of mind and trimming down, but not good for someone who wants to bulk up, especially if they're naturally skinny to begin with. Weight training with very heavy weights, and not too frequently (to give the muscles time to recover) is best for bulking up.

Exercise is great for improving one's moods, drive, and energy, but the best exercise to do varies from individual to individual.

 

[Latinoman]

I like Squirrels...but in my NON-professional view, I don't think he is sick.

I think he is suffering from what many others in our society suffer. He suffers from looking for excuses to do nothing with his life. OR maybe he is too concern of what others might think about him.

Squirrels...you live life because of what makes you happy. You should not be concerned of what others might think about you or if you are going to be remembered 10 or 20 years from now. As long as you lived a HAPPY life doing well...that's what matters.

Work on your goals and FORGET about making excuses (Roman empire?...who cares about them?)

 

[Wyldfire]

I don't think he's sick either. I also don't think it's really the stuff you mentioned either.

I think he may have been setting goals he thought he should be setting instead of really sorting out what it is that he wants to do. This is actually very common here. Many of the guys here will try to figure out what careers are the most "DJ" or what will make the most money instead of thinking about what they will enjoy doing. If a person is following someone else's dreams just because they think they should want that too eventually it's very difficult t find the motivation to keep that up. That's why I suggested exercise...because it provides energy, clearer thinking and naturally releases those feel good chemicals in the brain.