Why do so many people say dating is easier for men at 28-40?

[GrowingPains]

Dang Dave you really making me work for these answers, G. I'm trynna help you lol.

Have you considered doing the DJ Boot camp?

 

[bigdave17]

Dang Dave you really making me work for these answers, G. I'm trynna help you lol.

Have you considered doing the DJ Boot camp?

nope, I've tried reading PUA material and it's mostly the same common sense social skills I already have

 

[GrowingPains]

it's mostly the same common sense social skills I already have

Except when it comes to attractive women you desire.

I am doing it now and I wouldn't really consider it to be PUA techniques. When I think of PUA I think of someone applying a barrage of tactics whereas the DJ Boot Camp just forces you to build confidence, kill desperation and go through the motions of talking to women. Sure there's tips on what to say if you get stuck, but its not some rigid structure that a PUA would employ.

I thought it might help you specifically in increasing the number of women you interact with and figuring out how to kill that desperation. What do you think? Would you be willing to try it? What's to lose? You get to talk to attractive women and overcome your problems.

 

[corrector]

Bigdave is not desperate at all with women, just the ones that he is attracted to who are rejecting him for Chads and Chadites. Statistically most women out there have issues, they have kids, they are divorcees, or they are fat or they are taken, or they are alpha-widows, if you are lucky enough to approach in the first place (they probably have headphones or are swiping Tinder with their Chads on their smartphone).

I identify somewhat with Bigdave because I get that women are difficult to just approach like that because that is the result of the smartphone/social media revolution. What may have worked 10 years ago, or before the advent of smartphones and rampant social media can not work as well today, in this climate.

When you are at a certain level in life, you can't lower yourself to approach random women without feeling like you are begging in some way, shape or form. Going to ask for the time or directions (i.e. both of which are useless now because everyone has times on their smartphones and GPS, etc....), or to spend time talking to women who are all probably damaged goods anyway.

 

[GrowingPains]

Bigdave is not desperate at all with women, just the ones that he is attracted to who are rejecting him for Chads and Chadites. Statistically most women out there have issues, they have kids, they are divorcees, or they are fat or they are taken, or they are alpha-widows, if you are lucky enough to approach in the first place (they probably have headphones or are swiping Tinder with their Chads on their smartphone).

I identify somewhat with Bigdave because I get that women are difficult to just approach like that because that is the result of the smartphone/social media revolution. What may have worked 10 years ago, or before the advent of smartphones and rampant social media can not work as well today, in this climate.

When you are at a certain level in life, you can't lower yourself to approach random women without feeling like you are begging in some way, shape or form. Going to ask for the time or directions (i.e. both of which are useless now because everyone has times on their smartphones and GPS, etc....), or to spend time talking to women who are all probably damaged goods anyway.

So you don't try to catch the big one because most of the fish are too small anyways so you have to throw them back, right?

How do you know most women are damaged goods. Have you spoken to most women?

And the specificities of the DJBC are irrelevant as I said. It's the idea of forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, going for what you want and understanding the issues that keep you from getting what you want. Trial by fire.

just the ones that he is attracted

That's what we've been saying. So since you relate to Dave, how do you suggest you guys solve this problem of yours?

Girls are on their phones but so what. I've gotten plenty of girls to look up from their phone and take their headphones out. Be more interesting than what's on their black mirror. It ain't that hard if you have a personality. What's she going to do? Say 'oh sorry I can't accept your introduction right now I'm hearting pictures in Instagram. Please hold..' lmao gimme a break.

 

[corrector]

So you don't try to catch the big one because most of the fish are too small anyways so you have to throw them back, right?

I don't know about fishing. Did this one in Grade 5 and didn't catch on to this as a hobby.

How do you know most women are damaged goods. Have you spoken to most women?

You don't have to know everything experientially in order to have knowledge about something.

And the specificities of the DJBC are irrelevant as I said. It's the idea of forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, going for what you want and understanding the issues that keep you from getting what you want. Trial by fire.

Asking people for money on the street is also forcing yourself out of your comfort zone.

That's what we've been saying. So since you relate to Dave, how do you suggest you guys solve this problem of yours?

I've already posted my suggestions on this thread. I'm not in the same fiscal position with Dave so I don't entirely relate with him and I feel I have more valid excuses about my own situation than he does about his and feel he is talking utter B.S. However, I understand the "mechanics" or rudimentary function of what he is saying or the mind-set because it's exactly how I'm also thinking. I do have experience with women in the past and got burned a couple of times so in that aspect I can relate to what he is saying or resonating.

Now I do have some lifestyle choices in common with BigDave, I go to the Gym, like he does. Therefore, I know first hand that women in the GYM are difficult to approach period because they have head-phones. You don't have to be rich or have a great job to have a Gym membership, just as long as you are not broke, anyone can go to the Gym. I do visit church and think that even approaching women in a church is difficult because they are all plugged into their smartphones or their mind is somewhere else. As long as you are in society and are interacting with women, then you are going to be subject to a dynamic here, whether you are rich and have a great job, or if you are trapped.

Dave goes to bars and nightclubs, I go to churches. We both go to the gym. We both have the same results online. So, my curiosity is that if he's so well off in life and I'm not doing so well, how is it we both have exactly the same results? The only thing I can see is we both share the same mind-set and attitude about women. I may be more candy-eyed than BigDave and think, if I were in Dave's position I could simply BUY my way out of this. It's like I'm thinking, if BigDave can't BUY himself the right women, or out of his situation, it's undermining my candy-eyed perception of how things would be in someone like's BigDave's position. He's saying stuff like he's priced out. I'm like saying "wow, I feel the same way too, except, I have a valid reason for feeling that way. He on the other hand, feels that way despite having a great job and assets. That means even if this variable changed, the horror is I may still have the same potential results.

I ended up marrying a woman with a child and that marriage bombed. I took the settling route. Every-time you settle and don't get a proper women, the women turn ugly on you and it blows up at the end of the day anyway.

 

[GrowingPains]

excuses

 

[GrowingPains]

Therefore, I know first hand that women in the GYM are difficult to approach period because they have head-phones.

I disagree. You can read the DJ Boot Camp thread if you need some examples of approaching a woman in the gym.

So, my curiosity is that if he's so well off in life and I'm not doing so well, how is it we both have exactly the same results? The only thing I can see is we both share the same mind-set and attitude about women.

This is the issue. You've spelled it out.

You guys both have the same issue, because you both have the same mindset. It is not about all the other things. You both have those things in common but neither of them gives you an edge over each other or people who are successful and don't have them. So the issue must be the mindset. Both of you seem to have immense trouble with accepting reality for what it is rather than for what you see it to be. Yet both of you seem to deny that this is even necessary. When everyone sees it and you don't...

Are you willing to change your mindset? @bigdave17 @corrector

 

[corrector]

I disagree. You can read the DJ Boot Camp thread if you need some examples of approaching a woman in the gym.




This is the issue. You've spelled it out.

You guys both have the same issue, because you both have the same mindset. It is not about all the other things. You both have those things in common but neither of them gives you an edge over each other or people who are successful and don't have them. So the issue must be the mindset. Both of you seem to have immense trouble with accepting reality for what it is rather than for what you see it to be. Yet both of you seem to deny that this is even necessary. When everyone sees it and you don't...

Are you willing to change your mindset? @bigdave17 @corrector

At this point I think it's best to make some disclosure about my own situation because I'm really not the same as BigDave, and believe that while BigDave is coming up with excuses, I have actually valid issues.

99% of the time that I go out, my folks are with me, in particular my mother. That puts in some severe limitations with me. First of all, I can't experiment with pheromones because the perfume would affect her. Without being able to spray on pheromones, which eases my nerves enough to make approaches without tensing up or desiring to have a relaxed rapport with the opposite sex, it's an uphill battle to do anything because I just naturally tense up to much. Also, how do you think it looks as a man? Do you approach women with your mother next to you? Does BigDave bring his mother out with him where ever he is going? So, I think that would be a major disadvantage to the point of being crippling.

Secondly, what would be my end-game with a woman I'm approaching? Ask her out on a date? Is there even room in my life to do that? I have to take care of my aging parents and the whole family is poor to being borderline broke. My aging parents also appear to be more lonlier and wanting to go out more often with the only one family car we have (under my name). Any money spent on dating is money for food out of their mouths. How do you think I feel about that? The situation here is too crippling and I really feel I have allot of practical limitations.

BigDave on the other hand has none of these issues. If I were in the same position as BigDave then I don't see how I would still not have a gf, like how he's describing or be on a date with a nice woman, or visit a foreign country and pick one up that fits the bill.

Also, I was married and my ex-wife left me because she didn't know my situation was so bad when we were involved before. I was dumped by my ex-wife on poverty. Do I have a valid concern about my own situation before meeting any other woman? Of course I do. I got burned badly by my ex-wife, about $ 10,000 was spent on engagement, a big wedding, because her crazy mother pushed this, and when they realized we really had nothing, they all freaked out and left. I don't have any sisters or any female cousins where there is a good rapport.

So, I don't think it's mindset in my case. There are too many practical limitations, and just plain bad luck, for mindset to come at play. But I do resonate with what BigDave is saying because the PRINCIPLE of what he is saying makes sense.

 

[GrowingPains]

So, I don't think it's mindset in my case. There are too many practical limitations, and just plain bad luck, for mindset to come at play. But I do resonate with what BigDave is saying because the PRINCIPLE of what he is saying makes sense.

Okay, so you have some challenges. I can understand that.

The thing that's clear is that the difference in your mindsets are for different reasons. Dave seems to be unwilling to make a change in his mindset and give anything a try. Are you willing to change your mindset? @bigdave17 Do you think you can change how things are going for you if you put in effort?

Whereas you have a situation that makes it difficult for you to change. Let me rephrase my question to you - what are you doing to change your situation?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Okay, so you have some challenges. I can understand that.

The thing that's clear is that the difference in your mindsets are for different reasons. Dave seems to be unwilling to make a change in his mindset and give anything a try. Are you willing to change your mindset? @bigdave17 Do you think you can change how things are going for you if you put in effort?

Whereas you have a situation that makes it difficult for you to change. Let me rephrase my question to you - what are you doing to change your situation?

In his situation he needs to PLAN with the limited time he has. He has no $ so gold diggers are out. Perhaps a church singles group.

 

[corrector]

Okay, so you have some challenges. I can understand that.

The thing that's clear is that the difference in your mindsets are for different reasons. Dave seems to be unwilling to make a change in his mindset and give anything a try. Are you willing to change your mindset? @bigdave17 Do you think you can change how things are going for you if you put in effort?

Whereas you have a situation that makes it difficult for you to change. Let me rephrase my question to you - what are you doing to change your situation?

It depends what aspect of the situation you are talking about. I'm 43 years old, have bad credit (although I'm in a consumer proposal, or what you Yankees would all Chapter 11 bankruptcy, I've paid $ 30,000 out into old-debts so far and have another $ 20,000 left to pay, before it's purged out in that program), and my folks are not getting younger. That leaves everything as an income problem. You can't just change an income problem like that as for that you simply need opportunity, and that is an aspect that's beyond my control to do anything about beyond praying and believing God for a break-through. Since I am believing God for a break-through then I'm satisfying that I'm doing everything I can do, and believing God, for this situation to change. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the situation has already changed spiritually and the physical/natural situation has a seasonal-lag or has to catch-up with the spiritual reality. A process of faith would be to expedite this by saying faith-filled words, praise and worship of the living God who was revealed to be Jesus in the flesh, and spending more time in the Bible.

The competing issue or compounding problem is that I don't find the idea of spending the whole day reading the Bible and praying to sound like allot of fun. Maybe it is if you get into it and pass a critical point and then it takes a life of its own that consumes you. However, before you get to this critical point, it feels sort of like a chore. Other distractions, such as secular TV and movies, especially ones with cerebral screen-plays or stories compete. As a result, I have subscriptions to Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO, and borrow all the latest movies that have played in theaters on Blu-Ray from the library (which is a distance away since a closer local library is to cheap to get Blu-Rays and have the older DVDs, etc....) and feel sort of addicted to watching movies and watching videos of people who have viewed movies and keeping intricate logs of all movies and documentaries I'm viewing to give an artistic interpretation of what I feel about what I just watched. I also bring Tablets out with me and watch TV shows/movies while I'm out with my folks in public and think that it's a tug-of-war.

I can't figure out why there is so much enjoyment in viewing TV shows or movies. I have speculated that the purchase of a 58 inch HD-TV, putting it inside a basement with reclining leather movie-chairs about 3-4 feet away from the screen, and a popcorn machine, along with Tablets with an 8 inch HD screen and barrage of movie-reviews on youtube, etc... have contributed to this insane interest. I've even changed the living room of the house so there are new sofas, painted a wall so it would look like a large screen, and plan to eventually put a digital projector in the ceiling and hopefully have 120-150 inch sized images on the walls.

So, a sound plan would be to jettison all of that and study the Bible and pray more and fight against all of these secular worldly distractions and see if God will change the situation, or change it more quicker. Perhaps a fast of some sort as well down the road.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It depends what aspect of the situation you are talking about. I'm 43 years old, have bad credit (although I'm in a consumer proposal, or what you Yankees would all Chapter 11 bankruptcy, I've paid $ 30,000 out into old-debts so far and have another $ 20,000 left to pay, before it's purged out in that program), and my folks are not getting younger. That leaves everything as an income problem. You can't just change an income problem like that as for that you simply need opportunity, and that is an aspect that's beyond my control to do anything about beyond praying and believing God for a break-through. Since I am believing God for a break-through then I'm satisfying that I'm doing everything I can do, and believing God, for this situation to change. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the situation has already changed spiritually and the physical/natural situation has a seasonal-lag or has to catch-up with the spiritual reality. A process of faith would be to expedite this by saying faith-filled words, praise and worship of the living God who was revealed to be Jesus in the flesh, and spending more time in the Bible.

The competing issue or compounding problem is that I don't find the idea of spending the whole day reading the Bible and praying to sound like allot of fun. Maybe it is if you get into it and pass a critical point and then it takes a life of its own that consumes you. However, before you get to this critical point, it feels sort of like a chore. Other distractions, such as secular TV and movies, especially ones with cerebral screen-plays or stories compete. As a result, I have subscriptions to Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO, and borrow all the latest movies that have played in theaters on Blu-Ray from the library (which is a distance away since a closer local library is to cheap to get Blu-Rays and have the older DVDs, etc....) and feel sort of addicted to watching movies and watching videos of people who have viewed movies and keeping intricate logs of all movies and documentaries I'm viewing to give an artistic interpretation of what I feel about what I just watched. I also bring Tablets out with me and watch TV shows/movies while I'm out with my folks in public and think that it's a tug-of-war.

I can't figure out why there is so much enjoyment in viewing TV shows or movies. I have speculated that the purchase of a 58 inch HD-TV, putting it inside a basement with reclining leather movie-chairs about 3-4 feet away from the screen, and a popcorn machine, along with Tablets with an 8 inch HD screen and barrage of movie-reviews on youtube, etc... have contributed to this insane interest. I've even changed the living room of the house so there are new sofas, painted a wall so it would look like a large screen, and plan to eventually put a digital projector in the ceiling and hopefully have 120-150 inch sized images on the walls.

So, a sound plan would be to jettison all of that and study the Bible and pray more and fight against all of these secular worldly distractions and see if God will change the situation, or change it more quicker. Perhaps a fast of some sort as well down the road.

Praying all day aint gonna help jack. "Faith and works" implies you will put in the extra work and have faith god will have a few things swing your way.

On your income situation change jobs if your salary is not on the high end.

Add an additional part time job for supplemental income if your already pn the high end.

Always take action versus complaining about something. That includes writing it on a website, complaining.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

, I've tried reading PUA material and it's mostly the same common sense social skills I already have

You mean common sense social skills like walking up to attractive females and starting a conversation? The ONE THING you are to terrified to even contemplate.

Dave has got answer for EVERYTHING.

 

[corrector]

Praying all day aint gonna help jack. "Faith and works" implies you will put in the extra work and have faith god will have a few things swing your way.

I think it's quite clear from the rest of the post that the issue is distraction from having a fully consecrated life. The current construct is to devote some time in the morning or during the day to the Lord, but the rest of the day I'm doing whatever I want or watching whatever I want, etc.. Critics will look into this and say something doesn't add up with that and just meeting the technical high-notes of a faith process is insufficient to a true relationship with God. Hence the idea of extending time in the Lord's presence beyond the current model.

Work with me is exercising faith muscles, just like going to the GYM is working your muscles so you look better in appearance and have other health-benefits of good exercise. That means declaring things into existence that are not there and believing promises in the Bible about wealth over the situation.

While you may mean well, you are still approaching faith from a secular mind-set. I'm approaching issues of income from a faith mind-set. There is a difference between both. I'm not trying to follow some principle from "The Secret", or popular culture and merely putting a religious spin on this. What you are talking about is a secular approach with a religious spin. That is why, although you may mean well, you can't really get through with me because I'm going to refuse a secular solution as that would mean defeat to a faith mind-set which is often dismissed as crazy or cult-like. It's better to be honest and dismiss me as crazy because you don't get my beliefs than to patronize my belief system.

On your income situation change jobs if your salary is not on the high end.

Self-employed, income fluctuates. Feast or famine. God provides the buyer and the Real-Estate deal for income.

Add an additional part time job for supplemental income if your already pn the high end.

Always take action versus complaining about something. That includes writing it on a website, complaining.

I'm not complaining. I'm answering questions. You will find no post or thread on here where I have volunteered any information of have complained. Based on what I just wrote, it doesn't appear that I'm very upset or unhappy about my situation if I'm so happily distracted by the entertainment industry. I'm comparing myself to BigDave and saying that he has nothing to complain about. He's the ones making all of the depressing posts and threads, not me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think it's quite clear from the rest of the post that the issue is distraction from having a fully consecrated life. The current construct is to devote some time in the morning or during the day to the Lord, but the rest of the day I'm doing whatever I want or watching whatever I want, etc.. Critics will look into this and say something doesn't add up with that and just meeting the technical high-notes of a faith process is insufficient to a true relationship with God. Hence the idea of extending time in the Lord's presence beyond the current model.

Work with me is exercising faith muscles, just like going to the GYM is working your muscles so you look better in appearance and have other health-benefits of good exercise. That means declaring things into existence that are not there and believing promises in the Bible about wealth over the situation.

While you may mean well, you are still approaching faith from a secular mind-set. I'm approaching issues of income from a faith mind-set. There is a difference between both. I'm not trying to follow some principle from "The Secret", or popular culture and merely putting a religious spin on this. What you are talking about is a secular approach with a religious spin. That is why, although you may mean well, you can't really get through with me because I'm going to refuse a secular solution as that would mean defeat to a faith mind-set which is often dismissed as crazy or cult-like. It's better to be honest and dismiss me as crazy because you don't get my beliefs than to patronize my belief system.



Self-employed, income fluctuates. Feast or famine. God provides the buyer and the Real-Estate deal for income.



I'm not complaining. I'm answering questions. You will find no post or thread on here where I have volunteered any information of have complained. Based on what I just wrote, it doesn't appear that I'm very upset or unhappy about my situation if I'm so happily distracted by the entertainment industry. I'm comparing myself to BigDave and saying that he has nothing to complain about. He's the ones making all of the depressing posts and threads, not me.

Even starting business men have side jobs until their revenues are sufficient. Your making it sound like instead of taking action your doing excessive praying and hoping. "The secret" is merely observations on how life works in many circumstances, the religious should not discount scientific reasoning.

 

[GrowingPains]

I'm satisfying that I'm doing everything I can do, and believing God, for this situation to change.

That's great. You certainly have to believe the situation can take a turn. But I'm curious about your thought on this:

"Luck is when opportunity meets preparation." So yes the world may need to present you with an opportunity, but what can you do to expedite it's arrival? What connections can you make? What skills can you build? What positions can you put yourself in?

I can't figure out why there is so much enjoyment in viewing TV shows or movies.

This TV interest seems to be quite consuming. Time wise and financially. If you consider your subscriptions alone, you could end them and be going on one date a week. Of course, the choice is yours but I'm just saying. Sometimes you gotta: starve now, feast later. Everyone has to put in different levels of effort to change their situation, I get that, I'm just highlighting the potential ways you could change yours. The TV/theatre room also sounds expensive. If you ruthlessly saved your money, do you think you could pay your debts off quicker?

Since your a believer in God, you may find Dave Ramsey's books or even just his YouTube channel to be quite relatable. I'd check it out. He has a no BS guide to getting out of debt.

I'm not complaining

Maybe. But maybe you are just disguising your complaining by presenting it as fact. But it is certainly hard to feel as if you are wanting to change because you recognize the problem , like Dave, but we don't see any serious effort on your end to change the situation. Again, a mindset issue.

You identify the problem and then say you are content with being distracted (from solving the problem, essentially). This is what doesn't add up.

Sometimes you gotta go through hell to get to heaven. Purgatory, I think it's called. Are you ridding yourself of all your sins in order to get where you want to be? Or are you expecting God to take the wheel and closing your eyes? I don't think that's how it works. Again, another similarity between you and Dave - lack of appropriate effort.

 

[corrector]

That's great. You certainly have to believe the situation can take a turn. But I'm curious about your thought on this:

"Luck is when opportunity meets preparation." So yes the world may need to present you with an opportunity, but what can you do to expedite it's arrival? What connections can you make? What skills can you build? What positions can you put yourself in?

I did borrow some library books about those types of issues (along with the many Blu-Rays and DVDs). I could read some of these books if I'm not overly distracted. Perhaps reading should be balanced with watching.

This TV interest seems to be quite consuming. Time wise and financially. If you consider your subscriptions alone, you could end them and be going on one date a week.

I could afford to go on a date if needs be at this time. I've been in a worst position before. One time I shoveled snow to pay for a movie that I took a girl ("Just friends, as she had a bf at the time but went out with me as a "friend", we just kept each other company) out to see in an old car I bought for around a thousand bucks and we hung around in the mall after. I have vast ideas of cheap and inexpensive dates and know lots of natural park locations within the city that I like biking around. I really don't think that money is a barrier for dating.

Being on a broke-mode vs actually being broke are two different things. One is emotional because you see your account is going down because of expenses more than you are bringing in and an uncomfortable pace, the other is mathematical. Mathematically I've never actually been broke where I could not go on a date even in situations in the past where I would consider myself worst off than today.

Of course, the choice is yours but I'm just saying. Sometimes you gotta: starve now, feast later. Everyone has to put in different levels of effort to change their situation, I get that, I'm just highlighting the potential ways you could change yours. The TV/theatre room also sounds expensive. If you ruthlessly saved your money, do you think you could pay your debts off quicker?

The theater room so far has cost me nothing. The paint is like $ 30.00. We got a deal with the furniture company with no payments or interest for a year and a half so we don't have to worry about that now. I have not actually purchased a digital projector. However, if I go cheap, I could buy one off Amazon for about a hundred dollars or so. The quality would suck, but you'd still have something. I never said I was buying top-of-the line 4K or 3D quality projector. I get I have to be realistic. If money comes in later, then I can always upgrade and buy a better projector down the road.

The basement TV set-up is about a two years ago. That's too much of a length of time to be relevant today. Nevertheless the basement was a complete mess and I cleaned it up and rewarded myself by changing a portion of it into a sort of private TV/theater room. The image is cramped up if it's a ultra-wide movie, but I don't mind it now.

I can't really save money that I'm not making in the first place. I only ruthlessly save when I'm on a broke-mode. I'm currently on a broke-mode.
I put the plumb-line at about a certain account level to determine whether I'm on broke-mode or not.

Since your a believer in God, you may find Dave Ramsey's books or even just his YouTube channel to be quite relatable. I'd check it out. He has a no BS guide to getting out of debt.

It only works if you have a reliable income. For pay debt, income has to be higher than expenses so you have money aside to pay debt.

However, if I just paid $ 30,000 out of a $ 50,000 debt, then I think that's pretty good based on the way I'm portraying myself.

Maybe. But maybe you are just disguising your complaining by presenting it as fact. But it is certainly hard to feel as if you are wanting to change because you recognize the problem , like Dave, but we don't see any serious effort on your end to change the situation. Again, a mindset issue.

What effort would you be expecting me to do that would be construed as serious? I hope I have explained myself in this and the past post.

You identify the problem and then say you are content with being distracted (from solving the problem, essentially). This is what doesn't add up.

Saying I'm feeling content and saying I'm not working on the problem are two different things. First of all I don't watch TV shows or movies all of the time. It may be hard to believe this, but it's true. A vast amount of time, in the morning, is actually invested in devotion towards God, and in managing the affairs at home that may crop up through the day. I have back-logs of Blu-Rays/DVDs that I often return back to the library and take them out again because I don't have the time to watch them. Even when I'm out, if I watch something on the tablet, it's usually about 20 minutes or so. I have to make this correction in case there is a misunderstanding of the scale of which things are happening.

I personally can't waste time. Allot of times, if I do watch something, it is very late in the evening. Well away from the issues of the day. The only reason I subscribed to these online places was to reduce the backlog, so instead of 20-30 DVD/Blu-rays that are like that, it may just a be a couple or so since you can stream most of the stuff online on demand. You don't have to worry about not having the time to watch something, just pay the subscription fee and relax.

 

[GrowingPains]

I did borrow some library books about those types of issues (along with the many Blu-Rays and DVDs). I could read some of these books if I'm not overly distracted. Perhaps reading should be balanced with watching.



I could afford to go on a date if needs be at this time. I've been in a worst position before. One time I shoveled snow to pay for a movie that I took a girl ("Just friends, as she had a bf at the time but went out with me as a "friend", we just kept each other company) out to see in an old car I bought for around a thousand bucks and we hung around in the mall after. I have vast ideas of cheap and inexpensive dates and know lots of natural park locations within the city that I like biking around. I really don't think that money is a barrier for dating.

Being on a broke-mode vs actually being broke are two different things. One is emotional because you see your account is going down because of expenses more than you are bringing in and an uncomfortable pace, the other is mathematical. Mathematically I've never actually been broke where I could not go on a date even in situations in the past where I would consider myself worst off than today.



The theater room so far has cost me nothing. The paint is like $ 30.00. We got a deal with the furniture company with no payments or interest for a year and a half so we don't have to worry about that now. I have not actually purchased a digital projector. However, if I go cheap, I could buy one off Amazon for about a hundred dollars or so. The quality would suck, but you'd still have something. I never said I was buying top-of-the line 4K or 3D quality projector. I get I have to be realistic. If money comes in later, then I can always upgrade and buy a better projector down the road.

The basement TV set-up is about a two years ago. That's too much of a length of time to be relevant today. Nevertheless the basement was a complete mess and I cleaned it up and rewarded myself by changing a portion of it into a sort of private TV/theater room. The image is cramped up if it's a ultra-wide movie, but I don't mind it now.

I can't really save money that I'm not making in the first place. I only ruthlessly save when I'm on a broke-mode. I'm currently on a broke-mode.
I put the plumb-line at about a certain account level to determine whether I'm on broke-mode or not.



It only works if you have a reliable income. For pay debt, income has to be higher than expenses so you have money aside to pay debt.

However, if I just paid $ 30,000 out of a $ 50,000 debt, then I think that's pretty good based on the way I'm portraying myself.



What effort would you be expecting me to do that would be construed as serious? I hope I have explained myself in this and the past post.



Saying I'm feeling content and saying I'm not working on the problem are two different things. First of all I don't watch TV shows or movies all of the time. It may be hard to believe this, but it's true. A vast amount of time, in the morning, is actually invested in devotion towards God, and in managing the affairs at home that may crop up through the day. I have back-logs of Blu-Rays/DVDs that I often return back to the library and take them out again because I don't have the time to watch them. Even when I'm out, if I watch something on the tablet, it's usually about 20 minutes or so. I have to make this correction in case there is a misunderstanding of the scale of which things are happening.

I personally can't waste time. Allot of times, if I do watch something, it is very late in the evening. Well away from the issues of the day. The only reason I subscribed to these online places was to reduce the backlog, so instead of 20-30 DVD/Blu-rays that are like that, it may just a be a couple or so since you can stream most of the stuff online on demand. You don't have to worry about not having the time to watch something, just pay the subscription fee and relax.

Alright, seems you have a plan and are working on it so I'll leave you to it.

@bigdave17 on the other hand... Wya

 

[malz1]

the easiest time for dating as a man is 17-21...when you go to high school and college and are surrounded with easy opportunities to meet girls with minimal to no obstacles.

So many people want to say that dating is easy for men once you become successful and established but that's a bunch of bullsh*t. Looks, money, etc... none of that sh*t is anywhere near as important as having easy and natural dating opportunities when you're younger. There are plenty of average looking, chubby and completely broke college boys out there who could find 5 beautiful quality girlfriends before I could even get a date. I don't meet women in any aspect of my daily routine and things like online dating and cold approaching come with a spectacular difficulty curve, no matter how good of a catch I make myself.

Anybody here who is high school or college, please don't waste your great opportunities. I would cut my arm off to be able to go back to college when I had beautiful, classy and smart girls in every class surrounding me. I was such a f*cking idiot and didn't realize the opportunities and ruined it due to my extreme anxiety and non existent self esteem. I wish I could go around the country and tell this story to young boys everywhere. Dating will NOT get any easier as you get older. You need to figure things out in high school and college

Having more dating opportunities doesn't mean having more success. A successful, good looking musician in a room of 5 girls will have more success than a 5'2 socially awkward man in a room of 50 girls.