Why do guys thinnks its a good idea to take a woman to a bar on the first date?

[omkara]

I do it to filter out girls like Mocha 2010 and lordes.

There are plenty of girls out there, so it really makes no difference what you think. Having high expectations for a first date reeks of "high maintenance." And girls that are high maintenance don't just stop being high maintenance after the first date - it gets worse from there.

Therefore, I am not interested in dating any of these girls.

 

[zekko]

I remember I met this guy whom I thought the world of and would have done anything for but he was used to very very bad women and he treated me badly because he was hurt from the past

Careful, you're reinforcing the stereotype ("I thought the world of this guy who treated me badly").

As for that list of celebrities, the only one that seems at all classy is Natalie Portman. Even though her boobs aren't very big. Kim Kardashian, really?

Someone here (Falcon25?) always says "Alcohol=sex, Dinner=sleep".
Alcohol is definitely a liquid panty remover.

What offends me is this idea that women aren't responsible for themselves if they've had alcohol. If you have consenting sex with a woman who has been drinking, you can be arrested for rape! Why is it that women can't be responsible for stopping drinking before they're drunk? If they're not responsible why can they get a DUI? If a drunken man and a woman have sex, can the guy claim he was raped?

 

[mocha2010]

I do it to filter out girls like Mocha 2010 and lordes.

There are plenty of girls out there, so it really makes no difference what you think. Having high expectations for a first date reeks of "high maintenance." And girls that are high maintenance don't just stop being high maintenance after the first date - it gets worse from there.

Therefore, I am not interested in dating any of these girls.

LOL, above is one of the craziest thoughts Ive ever read, men and women are totally different in thinking. The first date is the first impression, its SHOULD BE the best impression not the opposite. The man should make it memorable if he really likes the girl.

I could never date you either. If you think taking a girl on a decent non bar date, in a great surrounding is high maintenance that's a big problem.

Many women from "good" homes, with "good" parents, who are used to "good" treatment probably would be what you consider high maintenance. Meaning they are used to "good " things and surroundings. That is not a bad thing. Do you want some disturbed psycho girl from a dysfunctional home?

No one is telling you to spend lots of money but the surroundings should be nice.


That is a bad thought IMO to reject a girl as high maintenance when many women these days have thier own careers.

SO YOU CAN COME TO YOUR OWN CONCLUSION ABOUT A WOMAN AS "HIGH MAINTENANCE" FROM THE FIRST DATE, BUT THE WOMAN CAN'T THINK OF YOU AS JERKY, SLEAZY AND LOW GRADE FOR TAKING HER TO A DIVE BAR ON THE FIRST DATE?

 

[SharinganUser]

Why does OP think that bars are only dive bars or meat market dance clubs?

 

[Iceberg]

As a female I have to ask
Why do guys thinks its a good idea to take a woman to a bar on the first date? I can go to bars after the first or second date but this is a turn off to alot of women but many guys think this is okay.

To me as a female it says "I want nothing else but to get you drunk and sleep with you"

I have read many dating sites and this seems to be a suggested thing for guys to do. Decent nice women would not like this for a first or second date, even if you meet them at a bar.

I read one post where a guy invited a woman to a bar and wondered why she did not show up. Bars scream sleazy.

If you want cheap date ideas, take her to a museum or art gallery. Opinions???

Bars scream sleazy? No...bars scream social.

As in, "I'm trying to evaluate you as a person and whether or not you're worthy of a more planned-out date."

I don't know what part of the Bible Belt you're living in, but out here people go to bars to talk, laugh, and share a drink. You make it sound like bars are for shooting heroin and getting hand jobs from crack wh0res.

Is a bar as "classy" as going to a museum? I guess not...at least in the cliche, Romantic Comedy sense. But the goal is to go to places where you can talk. Not where I can show you how artsy and classy I am. Besides...you can't talk at a museum. I mean, of course you can talk....but good conversations aren't happening when you're walking from spot to spot, looking at art.

If I can't do a bar, then I'll do a coffee shop. But I damn sure won't go some place where me and the girl are walking around staring at pictures, instead of talking to each other. The goal of the first few dates is to see "Is this girl cool...does she laugh. Does she make me laugh." It's not about showing how classy I am.

Seems silly to have this notion that a guy is supposed to plan out some elaborate, "classy" date for a girl he barely knows. Girlfriends will get museum dates, concerts, dinners, weekend trips, whatever. A girl on Date#1 is getting a few beers and a friendly chat. Because I don't know her, and we don't owe each other sh!t.

 

[Iceberg]

LOL, above is one of the craziest thoughts Ive ever read, men and women are totally different in thinking. The first date is the first impression, its SHOULD BE the best impression not the opposite. The man should make it memorable if he really likes the girl.

Hah. The man's job is to make it memorable...

..and the woman's job is to just show up, look nice, and judge the man? Must be nice to have absolutely no responsibility for the situations you end up in.

Tell you what - if you had a memorable personality, you could have a great date anywhere. If you're just a general bore, then yeah, you're going to need upscale surroundings to make up for your lack of personality.

SO YOU CAN COME TO YOUR OWN CONCLUSION ABOUT A WOMAN AS "HIGH MAINTENANCE" FROM THE FIRST DATE, BUT THE WOMAN CAN'T THINK OF YOU AS JERKY, SLEAZY AND LOW GRADE FOR TAKING HER TO A DIVE BAR ON THE FIRST DATE?

Dude, what kind of crack dens are these guys taking you to?

My definition of a dive bar is a nice, neighborhood place with wood paneling, a friendly bartender, and a decent selection of beer. Which is more than enough to entertain some female you just met.

You make it sound like there's knife fights in these places and rats in the bathroom.

 

[mocha2010]

Bars scream sleazy? No...bars scream social.

As in, "I'm trying to evaluate you as a person and whether or not you're worthy of a more planned-out date."

I don't know what part of the Bible Belt you're living in, but out here people go to bars to talk, laugh, and share a drink. You make it sound like bars are for shooting heroin and getting hand jobs from crack wh0res.

Is a bar as "classy" as going to a museum? I guess not...at least in the cliche, Romantic Comedy sense. But the goal is to go to places where you can talk. Not where I can show you how artsy and classy I am. Besides...you can't talk at a museum. I mean, of course you can talk....but good conversations aren't happening when you're walking from spot to spot, looking at art.


If I can't do a bar, then I'll do a coffee shop. But I damn sure won't go some place where me and the girl are walking around staring at pictures, instead of talking to each other. The goal of the first few dates is to see "Is this girl cool...does she laugh. Does she make me laugh." It's not about showing how classy I am.

Seems silly to have this notion that a guy is supposed to plan out some elaborate, "classy" date for a girl he barely knows. Girlfriends will get museum dates, concerts, dinners, weekend trips, whatever. A girl on Date#1 is getting a few beers and a friendly chat. Because I don't know her, and we don't owe each other sh!t.

You can drink in an upscale lounge not a downtown nieghborhood bar hole. It cost the same price.

I totally disagree with you. I am a very popular mainstream social butterfly and YES for a first date a dive hole in the wall bar is SLEAZY.

I would be happy to go and socialize with you after I get to know you after a couple of dates . But unless you meet me in a bar. Do not take me there on the first date and plenty of my girlfriends feel this way.

Have you had long term relationships with any of the women you took to the dive bar? on the first date?

 

[Maximummax]

Please do not feed this troll, enough is enough!

 

[Iceberg]

You can drink in an upscale lounge not a downtown nieghborhood bar hole. It cost the same price.

I totally disagree with you. I am a very popular mainstream social butterfly and YES for a first date a dive hole in the wall bar is SLEAZY.

I would be happy to go and socialize with you after I get to know you after a couple of dates . But unless you meet me in a bar. Do not take me there on the first date and plenty of my girlfriends feel this way.

Have you had long term relationships with any of the women you took to the dive bar? on the first date?

I don't know that any of the popular mainstream social butterflies I've ever met would describe themselves as "popular mainstream social butterflies".

Yeah. I'm just gonna treat you like a troll.

Please do not feed this troll, enough is enough!

You are absolutely correct. My apologies for keeping this conversation going.

/End thread

 

[SamTheHobit]

I just wanted to add.... lol.

 

[mocha2010]

Please do not feed this troll, enough is enough!

I am actually not a "Troll" I think this is an important topic. I am a woman who gets alot of male attention and I do not like being taken to bars on the first date and neither do my friends. I am just putting out there what some women do not have the nerve to say because they do not want to hurt your feelings or go against "whats popular".

 

[Maximummax]

Don't know why you are here in this forum
Men act how ever they want to. If you don't want to go to a bar, tell a guy where you wanna go. if he likes it he will take you there, otherwise he won't.

 

[mocha2010]

Don't know why you are here in this forum
Men act how ever they want to. If you don't want to go to a bar, tell a guy where you wanna go. if he likes it he will take you there, otherwise he won't.

Alot of good restaurants now have upscale or nicer bar areas, I could do that on the first date like

1. Cheesecake Factory-has a great bar area for drinks, you are in a restaurant but you do not have to get dinner. But you dont have the dive bar feel.

2. Coastal Flats
3. Ruby Tuesdays

* I like to help people, call me the Angel, I think I have enough life experience to ad good insight to this site. And I have been around all types of people, cultures, etc. Plus I like to read about how men operate, it still baffles me

 

[Maximummax]

Alot of good restaurants now have upscale or nicer bar areas, I could do that on the first date like

1. Cheesecake Factory-has a great bar area for drinks, you are in a restaurant but you do not have to get dinner. But you dont have the dive bar feel.

2. Coastal Flats
3. Ruby Tuesdays

I like to help people, call me the Angel,

I think I have enough life experience to ad good insight to this site. And I have been around all types of people, cultures, etc. Plus I like to read about how men operate, it still baffles me


Guys don't like to spend money on women who they don't even know
Insecure guys will try hard to impress for sure.
So if you want luxuries on date 1, find a needy guy.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

I skimmed. But I agree with this girl. She makes some valid points, while I hear most of you guys regurgitating old info you've read here, that isn't working, or is making you bitter, unhappy people.

I used to be cynical like you all, (but I took an arrow in the knee) but I found out women are more attracted to genuinely happy and warm guys who enjoy their time and selves. Happy, warm, and confident men can and will make ANYTHING fun for a woman. Why use alcohol to ease the nerves? Or her nerves? Play it off and bust on her for being nervous and lighten the mood.

I'd say take her for a stroll downtown, or if there are any of those hippyish, or olde town cities around ("the place to go"), take her there so she can see how you "NATURALLY" are around other folks, how you react, how you treat them. Plus you can see her side, too. In a confined building, sitting at tables, you're forced to talk, only because you'd think that she'd think that silence is bad. I think in a natural outside of a building setting would be more enjoyable, as you can highlight your awesomeness and charisma by greeting and smiling to people in general, it'd show how much fun you are.

IF she's a dirty girl, she'd be wondering how you are in bed on her own, you don't need alcohol.

 

[Iceberg]

I skimmed. But I agree with this girl. She makes some valid points, while I hear most of you guys regurgitating old info you've read here, that isn't working, or is making you bitter, unhappy people.

I used to be cynical like you all, (but I took an arrow in the knee) but I found out women are more attracted to genuinely happy and warm guys who enjoy their time and selves. Happy, warm, and confident men can and will make ANYTHING fun for a woman. Why use alcohol to ease the nerves? Or her nerves? Play it off and bust on her for being nervous and lighten the mood.

I'd say take her for a stroll downtown, or if there are any of those hippyish, or olde town cities around ("the place to go"), take her there so she can see how you "NATURALLY" are around other folks, how you react, how you treat them. Plus you can see her side, too. In a confined building, sitting at tables, you're forced to talk, only because you'd think that she'd think that silence is bad. I think in a natural outside of a building setting would be more enjoyable, as you can highlight your awesomeness and charisma by greeting and smiling to people in general, it'd show how much fun you are.

IF she's a dirty girl, she'd be wondering how you are in bed on her own, you don't need alcohol.

There's nothing wrong with taking a girl on a stroll downtown. If that's your thing.

But on the flip side, there's nothing wrong with taking a girl to a bar for a drink. For generations, people have been sitting down at bars talking over beers. It's not like it's suddenly destroying the concept of socializing or getting to know someone.

My issue with the troll is that it was demanding that men cannot take women to bars for dates. And I'm thinking to myself, "What do you mean I can't take girls to bars? I've been doing it for a decade with great results."

I'm a bar type of guy. It's where I'm comfortable. It's where my charisma is best displayed. If you're a museum type of guy, then take your girl to a museum. And if you're a stroll type of guy, then take your chicks on a stroll.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I skimmed. But I agree with this girl. She makes some valid points, while I hear most of you guys regurgitating old info you've read here, that isn't working, or is making you bitter, unhappy people.

I used to be cynical like you all, (but I took an arrow in the knee) but I found out women are more attracted to genuinely happy and warm guys who enjoy their time and selves. Happy, warm, and confident men can and will make ANYTHING fun for a woman. Why use alcohol to ease the nerves? Or her nerves? Play it off and bust on her for being nervous and lighten the mood.

I'd say take her for a stroll downtown, or if there are any of those hippyish, or olde town cities around ("the place to go"), take her there so she can see how you "NATURALLY" are around other folks, how you react, how you treat them. Plus you can see her side, too. In a confined building, sitting at tables, you're forced to talk, only because you'd think that she'd think that silence is bad. I think in a natural outside of a building setting would be more enjoyable, as you can highlight your awesomeness and charisma by greeting and smiling to people in general, it'd show how much fun you are.

IF she's a dirty girl, she'd be wondering how you are in bed on her own, you don't need alcohol.

Nice post.

 

[5string]

What I am getting from the OP in this thread is that she thinks she is entitled to be impressed by the venue of the first date like it's the mans duty or obligation. This mindset simply screams "I need my attention and deserve to be treated like the princess that I am"! If you don't want to go to a particular place, stand up for yourself and suggest an alternate.

I met my wife on our first date at a lower end bar. Neither one of us had a problem. We just got to know one another. Pretty simple. And please don't read into this. I have taken her to Broadway plays, some of the finest resorts in the country and dined in some of the finest restaurants.

I cannot agree that by taking a woman out to a bar and having some drinks, suggests the guy simply wishes to sleep with her.

Think I'll call Mrs.5string and see if she wants to get some drinks at a local pub near the house after work. Maybe I'll get lucky.

 

[mocha2010]

I skimmed. But I agree with this girl. She makes some valid points, while I hear most of you guys regurgitating old info you've read here, that isn't working, or is making you bitter, unhappy people.

I used to be cynical like you all, (but I took an arrow in the knee) but I found out women are more attracted to genuinely happy and warm guys who enjoy their time and selves. Happy, warm, and confident men can and will make ANYTHING fun for a woman. Why use alcohol to ease the nerves? Or her nerves? Play it off and bust on her for being nervous and lighten the mood.

I'd say take her for a stroll downtown, or if there are any of those hippyish, or olde town cities around ("the place to go"), take her there so she can see how you "NATURALLY" are around other folks, how you react, how you treat them. Plus you can see her side, too. In a confined building, sitting at tables, you're forced to talk, only because you'd think that she'd think that silence is bad. I think in a natural outside of a building setting would be more enjoyable, as you can highlight your awesomeness and charisma by greeting and smiling to people in general, it'd show how much fun you are.

IF she's a dirty girl, she'd be wondering how you are in bed on her own, you don't need alcohol.

Great post! One of the best Ive heard yet. I would date you

 

[Packers2010]

you know.. i haven't really thought about this. i read threw this thread and have come up with one option on this.

why do girls always think it's the guys job to do EVERYTHING!. go to an online dating site look at the girls who are 21 and see what there likes are. 9 times out of 10 it's either pubbing or clubbing.

so where do you think i am going to go? sure it's nice to do something different. but i am going to go with what the people want. i also think that is the date doesn't go well you won't be suck in a place you don't like. if your in a nice bar ( have NO idea where you got sh!tty dive from) then it's not so bad if she or you leave.

if i was going to take a girl anywhere it would be a pool hall. cos that's where i hang out. then coffee after. i used to do this will all my girls back home. they didn't seam to mind.

your not there to worry about where you are. your there too see if you like the guy. i would feel guilty if a girl too me to an expensive place, paid for it all and i didn't like her. i would feel like i would HAVE TO go on a second date.

but that's just me..