Why can't we stop saying this nonsense about career/finances??

[zekko]

The above mentality and covert expressions (via sub-communications) tips the "negotiation," potential relationship, and frame into your favor.

I agree with the mindset and the frame. But either a woman is able to be attracted to a man who can commit, or she can't. I agree he should not be overeager to commit, because you have to screen heavily and all. But at some point, the time may come. If you go strictly by the metaphor, a man should never, under any circumstances, be willing to commit. And while that may be true for some, I don't believe it is for all.

 

[guru1000]

I agree with the mindset and the frame.

That's the underlying message in AntiDump's metaphor; not an indictment on LTRs. Too many newbies come here overly thirsty and desperate for an LTR like the OP, thus pushing all worthy prospects away. The metaphor succinctly delivers the DJ mentality to shift the "sniper paradigm" into one of "having fun and seeing where it goes." Once the newbie surrenders his LTR thirst, he will operate with authentic strength (as opposed to neediness) and effectively in his dealings with women whether that be ONSs or LTRs.

 

[Fzatf]

bro if a woman is willing to go out with you on a date

Dave you're not even playing the numbers game to get that first date. You reject yourself automatically and don't approach nor do you do OLD. Just man up and start approaching and do OLD. If you're striking out at least you're making an effort. You sound like a guy miserable to be working at Wal-Mart but not even trying to get an education or to find a better job because it's too hard and no one will want to hire you. It's bullshvt. You think these women are impossible for you but they still end up dating guys only making 40k or who aren't quite as hot as them. You may think the Wal-Mart example is unrealistic, but you sound just like him.

If you want to succeed you have to try even if it means failing a thousand times for every success.

 

[zekko]

That's the underlying message in AntiDump's metaphor; not an indictment on LTRs.

This is a problem I have with a lot of seduction material. It seems to assume that all "newbies" are coming from the same place, with the same problems - in this case, that they all have a thirst for LTRs. I don't think the Frog guy is thirsting for a LTR. I have always believed that everyone's strengths and weaknesses are different, and can use different tweaks to improve themselves.

For example, I am naturally aloof, and I always resented it when I first came here and kept reading "All you have to do is act aloof and women will flock to you". To be more aloof was never my problem, and was the last thing I needed to hear.

 

[guru1000]

This is a problem I have with a lot of seduction material. It seems to assume that all "newbies" are coming from the same place, with the same problems - in this case, that they all have a thirst for LTRs. I don't think the Frog guy is thirsting for a LTR. I have always believed that everyone's strengths and weaknesses are different, and can use different tweaks to improve themselves.

For example, I am naturally aloof, and I always resented it when I first came here and kept reading "All you have to do is act aloof and women will flock to you". To be more aloof was never my problem, and was the last thing I needed to hear.

This is true. However, the metaphor was for OP, and that is one of his problems.

 

[zekko]

This is true. However, the metaphor was for OP, and that is one of his problems.

Agree with that. As someone said, he has the cart before the horse. He wants to skip the book and just read the last chapter.

 

[guru1000]

Agree with that. As someone said, he has the cart before the horse. He wants to skip the book and just read the last chapter.

I have the ability to change anyone's dating life via OLD. Even Dave's. I should start a business, but I don't see millions in it, so not worth my time. I do what I do strictly for entertainment value as well as my idea of giving back.

 

[zekko]

I have the ability to change anyone's dating life via OLD. Even Dave's. I should start a business, but I don't see millions in it, so not worth my time. I do what I do strictly for entertainment value as well as my idea of giving back.

I do think there is value for such a "life coach" type of person. Like I said, I think a lot of guys problems with women are highly individualized. If a discerning coach could observe them and figure out where they were going wrong, and design solutions and exercises specifically for them, I think that could help a lot more than a "one size fits all" approach. But a lot of such PUA coaches are shady, or charge ridiculous amounts. Or it's just not a practical thing to be doing in the first place. Time's too valuable.

 

[captain55]

Many men that complain about women don’t really put themselves out there for enough exposure to succeed. Being good looking doesn’t do anything if your home on a Friday night. Assuming you don’t work around hot young women all day unless you are going out 3 nights a week to popping bars and clubs, going to well known gyms with lots of women, day gaming at coffee shops etc your not going to get enough exposure from hot women.

 

[captain55]

When it comes of being successful getting women I would bet on a young broke goodlooking guy rather then on an older wealthy average one.

In my opinion driving an old car while showing an amazing hairline is gonna be more useful than driving an expensive car while showing a danny devito hairline, but again many here will disagree.

Same thing with sharp clothes...no matter how cool that shirt is, its not gonna make your belly tighter, you shoulders broader or your arms bigger.

So of course you need to be succesfull but this is to get a great lifestyle and enjoy life, its gonna help with women too but not as heavily as many here believe.

A great look alone subcommunicates a lot of positive things to women and once they create an idea of you because of that, you will get the same bonus of being corporate CEO.

If your main and only goal is to get women, well I suggest you to work on your look first.

This. Looks and game are everything assuming you are going for young chicks under 25....90% of the chicks i bang have no idea what I do for a living or what car i drive. Women in their 30’s or late 20’s might have higher standards because they are looking for marriage material but I’ll take a hot 23 year old that is easy to impress over an entitled 27 year old any day.

 

[Vivacity]

I see the same bullsh*t advice regurgitated a million times on a million different forums. The advice of "forget about chasing women in your 20s, focus on your career and dating will happen naturally in your 30s. Women naturally seek successful men". What do I have to do kill this myth?

Women will never ever like you if you're not confident in your abilities with them and comfortable in your own skin. I don't give a f*ck how much money you have, how big your house is or what you drive.

I've been proving this true for 6 years now. I was making 100K at 23, 160K at 25 for god's sake. At the age of 25, that's probably top 0.000001 percentile in the country. I don't know anybody who makes that much that young unless they're a professional athlete or their parents are filthy rich. I bought my first house at 24 (probably top 0.000001 percentile there also), I bought a $70,000 lexus at 25...etc... This is in addition to being good looking, in shape and dressing super nice.

I still spent friday nights beating off at end of the night and having zero dating life because I thought it wasn't good enough and that women are impossibly unreasonable. This is what's going to happen to these people who have horrible social skills but somehow manage to become rich in their 30s. They will still think they're not good enough, they will still think women are impossible and will still put the ***** on the pedestal.

Being successful and in shape and what not is fantastic, but I can't believe the amount of people who give this advice of ignoring social development alltogether. It's so asinine. You need to be socially strong to be successful with women no matter anything else. Women are naturally very passive - they will not chase you. You have to pursue them but pursue them the right way so they're not disgusted by you, which is where social skills come in.

I have a problem with this. I will be successful. I will have money in my 30s. But, what's the use? In the end, I get a woman with used up vagina.

No thanks Jeff.

What do I have to do kill this myth?

Give me a virgin or a woman with a low sex count when I am in my mid 30s.

 

[bigdave17]

I like metaphors, so one of my favorite ones on the subject is the bird in a cage analogy...

Men are like birds. We are free. We fly where we want, we visit other birds, we do whatever we want as a free bird. Free birds are exciting and women want to catch free birds. They want to put them in a cage (committed relationship). Do birds like to be in cages? Do birds want to be confined? Or would they much rather be completely free to do as they please? Women will try to put the men in a cage, and will fight to do it. If a bird likes a cage or wants to be in a cage, how exciting is htat for her?

You are essentially the bird that wants to fly into the cage. You want that committed relationship. The only birds that fly into a cage are those that are sick or injured. A healthy strong independent bird would never fly into a cage...

that's a bullsh*t analogy

Some men like relationships
Some like being single

no option is right or wrong, it's whatever you feel comfortable and happy with

The problems arise when men are so desperate that they wife up an old female/female with kids/female who is ugly/chubby/is a smoker/etc... Most guys in happy relationships with quality all around women are very grateful they found them.

One of my good friends has slept with lots of *****s in his lifetime and is now dating a 29 year old beautiful Lebanese dentist who is a total sweetheart. They are very very happy together

 

[bigdave17]

That's the underlying message in AntiDump's metaphor; not an indictment on LTRs. Too many newbies come here overly thirsty and desperate for an LTR like the OP, thus pushing all worthy prospects away. The metaphor succinctly delivers the DJ mentality to shift the "sniper paradigm" into one of "having fun and seeing where it goes." Once the newbie surrenders his LTR thirst, he will operate with authentic strength (as opposed to neediness) and effectively in his dealings with women whether that be ONSs or LTRs.

bro I'm just trying to get a date or two

I'm not worried about LTR. I won't know if a girl is worthy of being with me until I spend some time with her anyways

 

[bigdave17]

I have a problem with this. I will be successful. I will have money in my 30s. But, what's the use? In the end, I get a woman with used up vagina.

No thanks Jeff.

If you're talking about getting a woman in her 30s, if you just keep yourself in good shape, you can get an attractive woman in her 30s without even doing well financially

Women in their 30s have no standards, even the attractive ones. If you're a 7/10 male in nice shape (I'm around a 7.5 to 8 in real life), you will have your pick of attractive single women in their 30s. The problem is most of them have kids/have already been divorced

It's really astonishing the difference when you go from trying to seduce a 26 year old vs say a 34 year old. I was once at a bar and tried approaching a HB 6.5 26 year old and she was repulsed by me. Same night, I ended up getting a number from a beautiful HB 8.5 34 year old (I slept with her a week later). What's funny, she thought I was too good for her - she was shocked when I made a move on her.

The HB 8.5 34 year old was not only much better looking, but she had a much better personality and was way smarter. She was of course a single mom though so that, coupled with her age, actually made her have reasonable normal standards. The 26 year old 6.5 still has ungodly standards

 

[SuckItUp]

I see the same bullsh*t advice regurgitated a million times on a million different forums. The advice of "forget about chasing women in your 20s, focus on your career and dating will happen naturally in your 30s. Women naturally seek successful men". What do I have to do kill this myth?

Women will never ever like you if you're not confident in your abilities with them and comfortable in your own skin. I don't give a f*ck how much money you have, how big your house is or what you drive.

I've been proving this true for 6 years now. I was making 100K at 23, 160K at 25 for god's sake. At the age of 25, that's probably top 0.000001 percentile in the country. I don't know anybody who makes that much that young unless they're a professional athlete or their parents are filthy rich. I bought my first house at 24 (probably top 0.000001 percentile there also), I bought a $70,000 lexus at 25...etc... This is in addition to being good looking, in shape and dressing super nice.

I still spent friday nights beating off at end of the night and having zero dating life because I thought it wasn't good enough and that women are impossibly unreasonable. This is what's going to happen to these people who have horrible social skills but somehow manage to become rich in their 30s. They will still think they're not good enough, they will still think women are impossible and will still put the ***** on the pedestal.

Being successful and in shape and what not is fantastic, but I can't believe the amount of people who give this advice of ignoring social development alltogether. It's so asinine. You need to be socially strong to be successful with women no matter anything else. Women are naturally very passive - they will not chase you. You have to pursue them but pursue them the right way so they're not disgusted by you, which is where social skills come in.

I don’t think people have been espousing ignoring social

that's a bullsh*t analogy

Some men like relationships
Some like being single

no option is right or wrong, it's whatever you feel comfortable and happy with

The problems arise when men are so desperate that they wife up an old female/female with kids/female who is ugly/chubby/is a smoker/etc... Most guys in happy relationships with quality all around women are very grateful they found them.

One of my good friends has slept with lots of *****s in his lifetime and is now dating a 29 year old beautiful Lebanese dentist who is a total sweetheart. They are very very happy together

Except that what you are saying isn’t true, because you are basing your thinking on anecdotal evidence of the one happy couple you know, and ignoring that divorce rate is nearing 60%.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a relationship, but you can’t just order one online (save for a mail-order bride).

You may need to go on 100 dates where other guys may only need 5.

Get the idea of “the one” out of your head. Instead find a girl you find attractive and go out with the intent of having fun being fun. Stop focusing on an outcome.

One of natural guys I met was one of my good friend’s brother, a Lebanese Armenian guy, who was chasing away 9s with a stick. The dude would go out on weekends and have 50 or more numbers in one of big US cities.

My best friend has women in the TV business throwing themselves at him. The dude has a sexy as hell GF who looks as attractive without makeup and he has women who 8 and 9s throwing themselves at him constantly. Sure he’s tall and he’s a sports announcer, but he’s also in his 40s with a pony tail, greying, losing his hair.

When I go out with him he raises my game to insane levels because we make a game of it by being outrageous, direct, and mischievous and we’re out to have fun.

Your friends I’m sure a great dudes but you admitting that they have next to no game. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them, but either they are holding you back or you are holding yourself back or both things are true.

What’s missing is that you need friends who you can go out with and have fun and not care if you hook up or not but you are engaging people and people are engaging you because you’re charismatic.