Why can't girls just say no

[JPlaya]

So this girl flakes on me saying family is coming that day and I said is there any other day good than and she tells me that not this week or the next but the week after probably. I say that's fine and she keeps telling me that she's sorry and that she's been really busy. Honestly if you don't want to go than why don't u say no. Or at least give me that whenever I have free time text/

 

[penkitten]

what is the question?




wishy washy = don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[JPlaya]

Why can't girls say no

 

[Vice]

I've been thinking the same thing.

I've always wanted to call them out on it, because I always happen to ask them out on their "mom's birthday".

I think the best thing to do is move on, you probably wouldn't want someone so wishy-washy in your life anyway. Then again, do you think a guy with better game/higher value could get better results from the same girl?

 

[PapiChulo]

Avoiding confrontation, thus protecting themselves. Their logic is that you will get a hint and that it somehow softens the rejection. In reality they don't care about you at all.

 

[Gamtiwia]

Women love attention, plain and simple.

Women would rather have a guy chasing her skirt tail aimlessly instead of telling him she's not interested.

 

[ArcBound]

Why can't girls say no

A lot of guys are very emotional. They take the slightest thing as insult to the ego. You see it on this site too... "This girl rejected me, she's a fvcking b!tch!" The guy gets overdramatic and really angry or sad, the girl is just trying to avoid this overreaction.

Even if a girl rejects a guy by saying no, sometimes the guy still persists. By being flaky and wishy washy the guy eventually thinks the girl is not worth it and drops the issue, exactly as the girl wants.

And lastly you should not be always concentrating on a person's words, but their actions. Even if she flat out blatantly did not tell you no, the fact that she flaked on you more than once is telling you clear and cut: no.

 

[JPlaya]

A lot of guys are very emotional. They take the slightest thing as insult to the ego. You see it on this site too... "This girl rejected me, she's a fvcking b!tch!" The guy gets overdramatic and really angry or sad, the girl is just trying to avoid this overreaction.

Even if a girl rejects a guy by saying no, sometimes the guy still persists. By being flaky and wishy washy the guy eventually thinks the girl is not worth it and drops the issue, exactly as the girl wants.

And lastly you should not be always concentrating on a person's words, but their actions. Even if she flat out blatantly did not tell you no, the fact that she flaked on you more than once is telling you clear and cut: no.

it is an insult to an ego. They're basically just playing our ego. I'd rather have a b!tch straight tell me she's not interested than say yes and flake out with bullsh!t.

 

[jax871]

Shes not interested. Next.

 

[ArcBound]

it is an insult to an ego. They're basically just playing our ego. I'd rather have a b!tch straight tell me she's not interested than say yes and flake out with bullsh!t.

Sure YOU would rather. Other guys will slander the girl calling her a b!tch or slut. Some will get emotionally butthurt. Some guys will continue pursuing her even after rejection. A girl has no way of knowing how a certain person will react and hence flaking, wishy washiness serves a good purpose for the girl.

 

[mahoney]

this girl may well be wishy washy but problem jplaya has is extreme wishy-washyness himself (read earlier threads for backstory)

hopefully you will learn to bit a bit more concrete and specific in future

 

[PapiChulo]

Women love attention, plain and simple.

Women would rather have a guy chasing her skirt tail aimlessly instead of telling him she's not interested.

Good point. That's after the fact when they ve gotten a feel for how you might react following rejection. Non-creepy attention giving dudes + Validation seeking Girls= mental masturbation.

 

[phatboi408]

They love attention

and you didnt provide enough value for her to want to come see you.

 

[nismo-4]

Simple. Because Girls love attention and they want to make the rejection less painful, but the reality is that you've still been rejected and you didn't get the girl. Girls want to protect themselves, and avoid confrontations. Enter the flake, the IHAB response, and the endless bullsh*t.

 

[Maxtro]

Yeah it's extremely annoying how girls don't say no.

I absolutely hate the "were going to have to try later" or similar lines.

What they don't know is that they are actually causing false hope.

Personally, the maybe, maybe, maybe, then ignore girl is much more of a bitch than the girl who just says sorry right away.

The worst I ever had was a maybe girl that actually went on another date with me, possibly out of pity, then she went no contact on me right afterwords. I have never been violent with a woman, but she was the first and only girl where the thought actually crossed my mind. I never saw or spoke to her again.

Right now I may be in a similar situation with a different girl. I get a strong feeling that she's being evasive with me. I'm going to call her tomorrow and find out what the heck is going on.

 

[PapiChulo]

I absolutely hate the "were going to have to try later" .

That one is hilarious! I ve never gotten that one yet, only radio silence, flakes, IHAB, I am too busy, I am not looking, "I don't think so", "I ll go out with you as a friend" (AW).

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

They like to make excuses for why they can't see you or have sex with you

they are women...that is what they do

just like the weak men who like to make excuses for why their chick treats them like crap or why women ignore them

they act like women too...that is what they do too

they all make excuses

 

[TIC]

They like to make excuses for why they can't see you or have sex with you

they are women...that is what they do

just like the weak men who like to make excuses for why their chick treats them like crap or why women ignore them

they act like women too...that is what they do too

they all make excuses

Lol I love when people on here try to be hard-azzes and equate everything, as if thing are on a level playing field

Guys aren't wishy washy or flaky like women are, guys don't play the ridiculous that women do, guys don't string girls along just for attention. There are very very few men who are even ever in a position to do that...

The situation that the OP described is so common its becoming the norm...I swear I've had this happen to me so many times I begin to just expect it. Am I doing anything wrong? Doubt it, I've pondered every angle and there isn't much more I can do to decrease flaking

 

[Kirro]

Welcome to being average fellas! I hope you enjoy your stay.

You see, you have to be brutally honest with yourself because at the end of the day, you can blame females all you want & though you may be right, it won't make then hop onto your d!ck any faster. You gotta ask where you are going wrong & what you could be doing better & make the adjustments.

Facts are, a lot of guys in general(myself included) aren't ready to play this game, we're basically playing a sexual lottery, hoping to find that exception that will look past the flaws most girls see & give us a chance.

& what then? What happens when that chick leaves? Back to hearing those lame excuses & wishy washiness right?

What's your point Kirro? Simply this, all these little whining threads about chicks taking pics of themselves, chicks BS'ing, playing games, having glaring character flaws etc....they're pointless. The only person we can control is ourselves & somehow, someway you have to overcome yourself to overcome all this.

 

[The_411]

Part of the problem is being too outcome dependent and other part is not understanding that no matter what you do some girls won't be attracted to you.

You get over these two humps and you're golden.

Girls are flakey wishy washy. Some of it is a ****e test, part of it is to filter out guys on their actual interest, part of it is ego boosting, and part of it is us failing to realize that by not shutting down girls early we inflate their egos that they act entitled.

Girls can't say no because being direct and straightforward are masculine traits.

Wishy washy, flexibility etc are feminine traits.

I know its hard not to take it as an insult but it's about frame. If a girl is wishy washy then she's missing out on you. She' blowing an opportunity to meet a great guy and chances are if she's doing it to you she's doing it to a bunch of other guys and misisng out on some great guys.

The next thing is if a girl is being wishy washy about even being in your company why in the world would you want to be around her? You really want to be with someone who has a meh attitude about you?

Wishy Washy = meh