Why can't girls just say no

[Maxtro]

One thing I don't understand is how a girl can seem to really enjoy your company when she is with you, and then be avoidant when you're trying communicate over the phone or through text.

Why the 180?

Edit:
And it turns out her grandma is in town plus she's busy with her new job. So a couple of weeks from now we'll get together. Oh well.

 

[Kirro]

Part of the problem is being too outcome dependent and other part is not understanding that no matter what you do some girls won't be attracted to you.

You get over these two humps and you're golden.

Girls are flakey wishy washy. Some of it is a ****e test, part of it is to filter out guys on their actual interest, part of it is ego boosting, and part of it is us failing to realize that by not shutting down girls early we inflate their egos that they act entitled.

Girls can't say no because being direct and straightforward are masculine traits.

Wishy washy, flexibility etc are feminine traits.

I know its hard not to take it as an insult but it's about frame. If a girl is wishy washy then she's missing out on you. She' blowing an opportunity to meet a great guy and chances are if she's doing it to you she's doing it to a bunch of other guys and misisng out on some great guys.

The next thing is if a girl is being wishy washy about even being in your company why in the world would you want to be around her? You really want to be with someone who has a meh attitude about you?

Wishy Washy = meh

I have the question the part in bold. Ultimately if she & her absurd emotions don't register you or the other guys she's stringing along as great guys then you good sirs bust luck.

@Maxtro - Please tell me you're gonna be busy with hobbies or trying to get other chicks. I mean seriously man, sitting down waiting for this chick is just so..........chick-like.

 

[Maxtro]

@Maxtro - Please tell me you're gonna be busy with hobbies or trying to get other chicks. I mean seriously man, sitting down waiting for this chick is just so..........chick-like.

LOL, how would I even sit down and just wait two weeks for her? I'd go insane.

Of course I'm going to be doing other shit.

I just feel a little relief that she doesn't hate or something. Yeah that's a something I need to work on.

Edit:
Yeah it's the same asexual girl.

And yeah, I know I'm being an idiot, I don't need anybody telling me that.

 

[Kirro]

Is this the same chick who's all asexual with you?

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

I have the question the part in bold. Ultimately if she & her absurd emotions don't register you or the other guys she's stringing along as great guys then you good sirs bust luck.

Thats a common thing for attractive girls. She has 100 more guys just like you in her phone. Given, they are all chumps, maybe 1 or 2 are not. BUT they will be giving her what she wanted; attention.

Difficult. Real difficult.

 

[Lexington]

One thing I don't understand is how a girl can seem to really enjoy your company when she is with you, and then be avoidant when you're trying communicate over the phone or through text.

Why the 180?

Edit:
And it turns out her grandma is in town plus she's busy with her new job. So a couple of weeks from now we'll get together. Oh well.

I wouldn't count on it dude. If she initiates the contact and takes steps to make it happen, give her a chance. But it's highly unlikely.

Think about it. If this girl really wanted to meet up with you, don't you think you should would do everything to make time for you? Her flaking on you means she does not value time spent with you very much.

You should proceed with the assumption that it's over with this girl. It's possible that she did have a genuine reason for flaking but it's highly unlikely.

 

[mahoney]

One thing I don't understand is how a girl can seem to really enjoy your company when she is with you, and then be avoidant when you're trying communicate over the phone or through text.

Why the 180?

.

so she likes the company but doesn't like the texts/calls? then make it that there are fewer texts/calls

are you using the texts/calls for some kind of interaction/conversation? if so, stop. if its to arrange stuff - then there doesn't need to be much of it, keep it short and simple. make it that the majority of the time with you is the in person stuff she likes,

lets say you see a girl saturday and she likes it, and then maybe the idea is that you will see her the following sunday, 8 days later, which she will also presumably like - but the texts and calls on the weekdays are not so good. i think its that she is viewing the texts/calls as a bit pressuring or an imposition, girls like to enjoy the 'after' part of a date, a few days kinda daydreaming about it , and they like the 'before' the looking forward to it - texts/calls intrude into this time (this is where overcontact starts)

in general i think girls like a block of time with the inbetween bit being kind of empty whereas dudes want constant lowlevel contact inbetween for reassurance (ie its actually the dude that is the AW in a way!). see the girl, leave some space afterwards before thinking about arranging the next thing, then when you arrange it, keep the arranging short and simple, then leave space until the next date - dont overcontact between the dates, just concentrate on the dates and back off inbetween them

 

[mahoney]

Think about it. If this girl really wanted to meet up with you, don't you think you should would do everything to make time for you?.

flaking is one thing and not good, but i disagree with the rest of the statement above, girls in general don't think this way and don't do everything to make time for you - but dudes think that they should and get pissy when they don't

 

[PapiChulo]

^ that's why there are counter offers and such. It is making herself available that counts. If she doesn't, well it is a no go, passive-aggressive tactics.

 

[Maxtro]

I wouldn't count on it dude. If she initiates the contact and takes steps to make it happen, give her a chance. But it's highly unlikely.

Think about it. If this girl really wanted to meet up with you, don't you think you should would do everything to make time for you? Her flaking on you means she does not value time spent with you very much.

You should proceed with the assumption that it's over with this girl. It's possible that she did have a genuine reason for flaking but it's highly unlikely.

Things with this girl are complicated. She has never flaked on me but I also know that she's not interested. Right now she's a project of mine.

She's not the type to initiate contact. I need to randomly call her and find a day when she's free. We have a lot of fun when we do hang out, so I feel like it's work it.

I have a tendency to be negative and over-analyze. Which is something I need to work on.

I got a tentative date set with for the 18th and I'll call her a few days before to confirm.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

Lol I love when people on here try to be hard-azzes and equate everything, as if thing are on a level playing field

Guys aren't wishy washy or flaky like women are, guys don't play the ridiculous that women do, guys don't string girls along just for attention. There are very very few men who are even ever in a position to do that...

The situation that the OP described is so common its becoming the norm...I swear I've had this happen to me so many times I begin to just expect it. Am I doing anything wrong? Doubt it, I've pondered every angle and there isn't much more I can do to decrease flaking

wtf? I hate it when guys like you make dumbass comments like this. read some of the threads on here and you'll see what I mean. guys are making excuses for the chicks bad behavior and let them walk all over them. they are wishy washy.

 

[BossGQ]

The flakey chicks are with another man...

 

[JPlaya]

should I apply the two strike rule since she did it 4 days before the date and had an excuse or next

 

[initiatorhater06]

yeah I hate how *****es always have to be so damn subtle, they always have to use their body-language to show a guy they are interested or not interested