Why are some men just better at life

[Lexington]

Yup, that's just the way life is. There is a bell curve and some people are in the bottom 1%, and some are in the top 1%. Most of us cluster somewhere in between, with the largest number of us close the average.

Some guys will have just have it easier than you. They're better looking than you are, wealthier, smarter, can kick your ass and they're swinging bigger d*cks too. But what can you do about it? You have to play with the cards you're dealt.

With hardwork, dedication and the right attitude, anyone can achieve some measure of success. We might not all become multi-billionaires, bang supermodels and own a huge collection of exotic cars, but it doesn't mean we don't have accomplishments to be proud of.

 

[synergy1]

Yup, that's just the way life is. There is a bell curve and some people are in the bottom 1%, and some are in the top 1%. Most of us cluster somewhere in between, with the largest number of us close the average.

Some guys will have just have it easier than you. They're better looking than you are, wealthier, smarter, can kick your ass and they're swinging bigger d*cks too. But what can you do about it? You have to play with the cards you're dealt.

With hardwork, dedication and the right attitude, anyone can achieve some measure of success. We might not all become multi-billionaires, bang supermodels and own a huge collection of exotic cars, but it doesn't mean we don't have accomplishments to be proud of.

Interestingly enough, there is a physiological phenomenon that is built into almost all people in which they overestimate their own abilities. Just take a look at the poll I posted a few months ago.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=171593

I wanted to get at least 50 samples in order to make this work. The hypothesis was that the members of this forum were average, but would consider themselves above average when it comes to being the dominant male. Most posting instances represent folks who can't get women, or posts about how they are frustrated with women. Yet, the overwhelming majority still think they are amongst the top 70-80% of men out there. The spread , or perceived difference is overconfidence. Here are more examples:

- In 1999 , 500 people were asked if their portfolios had beaten the market. 25% said they did. When asked to report gains, 80% reported lower gains than the market.

-Drivers in bad car acidents were asked to rate their ability behind the wheel. Folks who were bed ridden and needed assistance answered that they were better than average drivers.

-In 2000, CNN did a poll on 1000 people to see if they thought they were in the top 1% of the population on an income basis. 19% placed themselves in the top 1%.

knock on duffdog all you want, but the fact is an overwhelming majority are average. Does it matter? not really. Successful people aren't necessarily happier. I mean look at the average American compared to the average person in a third world/ corrupt country. We live like kings, yet still find ways to be unhappy.

 

[SoCalMike]

Genes and wealth are a big part of it. If you're born with the genes to be tall and have good hair/facial features, and you're born into wealth, you are already about 100 miles beyond guys who aren't in this circumstance.

This isn't to say every guy who is successful is born into it, but a large number are.

Let's face it, who is more likely to succeed in life? The guy who is born rich with genetic good looks, or the poor guy who is born to a single mom in the ghetto or trailor park, who has the genes to be short and bald?

 

[SoCalMike]

You should all read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

Your life situation has nothing to do with how 'good' your life is. Money, women, power, adoration etc - it won't make you happy. Poor you if you don't realise that.

Well, personally, if I had millions, didn't have to work, and was getting laid by beautiful women all the time, it'd be awful difficult for me to be unhappy. Just being able to freely travel the world whenever I want, explore cool new places, would bring immense joy to my life. Not to mention being able to pursue hobbies that I love.

I think a lot of people tell themselves what you stated to make themselves feel better because they DON'T have wealth (and the freedom it brings) or beautiful women.

 

[Duffdog]

LOL, you should see this genetic wonderboy's myspace. LOL. He's obese and installs speakers in bars. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

He's just another awkward dork sitting on an internet forum pretending to be a wealthy alpha ****ing hot women when he's not beating up thugs. Sounds like one too many comic books.

Hmm...

Obese? Are you sure that you have the right guy? Also, I have never installed a speaker in a bar... that is the weirdest thing I have heard in a while.

I suppose that since you have seen all the pictures I have taken (or are in them) you also think that they are fake too, right?

I'm calling BS.

EDIT: Actually, I know a guy who thinks just like you. He has a hot girlfriend as well. She used to come over to my house to have sex with me all the time...and all that hating did him no good. It won't do you any good either.

 

[Duffdog]

Seriously mate, for 31, you're an absolute twonk - you sound like your average, arrogant 20 year old college douchebag. Stop wanking over yourself already and offer something useful to this thread that I'm reading.

Jealous much?

 

[Lexington]

Well, personally, if I had millions, didn't have to work, and was getting laid by beautiful women all the time, it'd be awful difficult for me to be unhappy. Just being able to freely travel the world whenever I want, explore cool new places, would bring immense joy to my life. Not to mention being able to pursue hobbies that I love.

I think a lot of people tell themselves what you stated to make themselves feel better because they DON'T have wealth (and the freedom it brings) or beautiful women.

You know, a huge chunk of the world's population would absolutely love to have your life. You have an internet connection and a computer. That's more than can be said for most of the world. I'll bet that in the grand scheme of things, you have it pretty good. There are literally BILLIONS of people living on less than 2 dollars a day.

In the 21st century, a lower middle class person in America/Canada/Western Europe has conveniences and amenities that the vast majority of people throughout history could never have even dreamed of.

It really is true that happiness comes from within. Unless you're starving, can't find shelter or you are in constant physical danger, it is very possible to be happy.

There are millionaires who are unhappy. I've met some poor people who are incredibly happy. I'll bet that most of the people on this forum have everything they need to be happy.

 

[Duffdog]

Na, you're way off the mark - surprising cos you're a bit older and I would have thought you'd have figured it out. Read the book, you'll see what i mean.



Lol, of a 31 year old bouncer who boasts on an internet forum about hitting someone in a nightclub?

Seething.

I can't figure out what is wrong with your brain. Nothing you have assumed about me is right, also, nothing your friend Baird has assumed is right either.

This post is mostly for the other people who are reading this thread who think that anything L777 posts is/was accurate. Its not.

I'm not a bouncer. I have 2 advanced degrees. I have 8% bodyfat and bench 275 (I used to bench more). My previous corporate job involved a great deal of board meetings and conferences as a manager. When I was a professional PUBLISHED photographer, there was a never ending stream of status which came my way. Girls, money, drugs, travel, sex, the whole lot came to me without any real effort on my part. I just had to continue to be a very skilled photog and it was easy.

This is something that 98% of all men can't and won't ever experience. You could take the path of L777 and simply deny the world around you and wonder why everything sucks. Or, you could take my path and simply realize what your social station is. Its probably average, honestly. Once you have done that, only then can you begin to ascend the ranks of society. Some people started at the top, some at the bottom, most started somewhere in between.
Its foolish to think that you can read a few books and practice a few things and suddenly you are rubbing elbows with Larry Ellison and President Obama. Life doesn't work that way.

In some cases, it doesn't matter how hard you try, some things ARE out of your reach.

Some things are not.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you are a skinny little british nerd making fun of successful guys on some website, you probably aren't EVER going to keep a hot girl around. Something has got to change in your life or you better learn to settle for mediocrity.

That, or just commit suicide. I hear that the suicide rate in NY is inversely related to the shifts in the DJIA...

Every day I see guys who took out enormous loans to attend prestigious schools like stanford and cornell, only to find out that their jobs are scheduled for elimination and 1/3 of their life has been wasted chasing an impossible dream. They are bald, single, 35, and easily identifiable by their BMW's with fading paint that they bought upon graduation with the intent that they were going to be the next Bill Gates. They will never ascend to the top of the mountain they have set in front of them.

Life is nothing more than a random sequence of events that are completely out of your control. By definition, most people are average. There is no way to beat the numbers unless you are lucky in some way.

Lucky to be born super smart, super tall, super attractive, super wealthy, super above-average in some manner. The saddening thing about this fact is that the internet has allowed vast numbers of males who thought that they were going to be special to find that they are simply a number in a sea of males who are in exactly the same boat they are in. In the past, average guys had no access to websites which broadcasted the huge amount of averageness present in the world. Most of those guys actually, genuinely thought that they were going to be awesome when they grew up.

They failed. But, they did not have the tragic realization that most of the other guys who are like them also failed. The internet driven realization of mass failure is the real tragedy. It is incredibly difficult for someone to realize that their social station is nearly impossible to escape... unless you are one of the lucky few.

There is no clear cut answer to the question of "why." Suffice it to say, the most revealing and compelling answer is simply "life isn't fair."

 

[Pandora]

Nice post Duffdog..very interesting.

 

[zekko]

Every day I see guys who took out enormous loans to attend prestigious schools like stanford and cornell, only to find out that their jobs are scheduled for elimination and 1/3 of their life has been wasted chasing an impossible dream.

That's a perfect example of what I said earlier about hard work not necessarily being enough - luck plays a factor too, and you have to work at the right things. A dude goes to college for six years only to graduate and find the economy has shifted and the job he prepared for is gone. What does he do now? Find a job without a required degree or go back to school and start over (if he can afford it)?

Either way, you still have pull yourself up and work hard. But that's not a guarantee of success, especially the kind of success that the OP was talking about. You just put in the work and hope it pays off for you. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

 

[synergy1]

Some people started at the top, some at the bottom, most started somewhere in between.

Actually you are wrong, we are looking at a tail weighted distribution for most things - take household income for example:

http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/paulson/Income Distribution.jpg

Like you, I have two degrees in the field so I can attest to what it takes to get there. The part of it that was luck was being able to get the material. The kids who started the major for cash and eventually dropped out were weeded out while I was nailing 4.0s in easy classes. The middle years required a smart work ethic - not just shear determination. I was often ready for exams long before the day, thus seldom studied the night before. Actually, I spent a lot of time the night before playing metal of honor and blowing up nazis to get pumped. Other times i'd go play some puck. I think it worked since I got mostly A's.

Work hard, work smart. A hard working engineer might end up stuck in a research position which they are extremely proficient in. They might never move up, nor be given that opportunity. A smart working engineer will leverage their expertise and become a consultant, earn 250 (K$) annually, and have massive amounts of time off.


Its foolish to think that you can read a few books and practice a few things and suddenly you are rubbing elbows with Larry Ellison and President Obama. Life doesn't work that way.

Right, you have to have some connections to make it happen. There are so many generic people with any talents you can think of, the only thing that separates everyone is who knows who. Thankfully, our Board of advisory committee has some connections in Washington so I am confident we will be giving our pitch to the president in a year or so. Thats pretty exciting stuff right there!

proof reading this thread it looks like I am bragging, but in reality I wouldn't consider myself that much above average. I am good at engineering, but struggle in other areas. My high school grades and SATs were pretty boring, and I am not much taller than the average American male. God knows I had no natural game with the ladies until I started paying attention. My life situation got lucky when I lost a job and someone starting a company wanted an engineer with a research and corporate experience background. There are vastly more talented people out there who aren't where I am mainly because of the life situation I was presented with.

 

[SoCalMike]

Na, you're way off the mark - surprising cos you're a bit older and I would have thought you'd have figured it out. Read the book, you'll see what i mean.

No need to get arrogant. But since you want to go that route, we can.

Listen, genius, I thought you'd have figured something out too, since it's obvious: happiness is a state of mind, but some situations are better than others. PERIOD.

Some people are happy living in prison. So? Big deal, they adapt, they find inner joy. Because otherwise they'd be miserable. Who cares? Prison still sucks ass and IS WORSE than not being in prison!

Similarly, being poor and not getting laid IS WORSE than being rich and getting laid.

Your "wisdom" about happiness is a tired old cliche, it's been spewed 1000 times by a 1000 different hucksters in a 1000 different books.

I'm sure you'll want the last word, so go for it. I'm not going to waste any more time on it.

 

[SoCalMike]

There are millionaires who are unhappy. I've met some poor people who are incredibly happy.

Oh really? So money is irrelavent huh? So if you had a million dollars you wouldn't care if I took it? After all, you don't need it to be happy right?

 

[Trader]

There are millionaires who are unhappy. I've met some poor people who are incredibly happy

Oh really? So money is irrelavent huh? So if you had a million dollars you wouldn't care if I took it? After all, you don't need it to be happy right?

Bad example. I don't need money to be happy, but if I had a million dollars and you just took it from me, I would be pissed. Not so much with regards to the financial loss but because of the injustice of you stealing from me - I would crush you.

There have been many studies about how winners of the lottery report being no happier 1 month down the road than they were before.

Lexington - you are a wise man.

Now, this is NOT an endorsement for poverty, nor is this a proclamation that one should abstain from striving to get rich.

But if you are relying on money to be happy - well, it's just not going to work.

Funny how those who make the biggest deal about money, about how you need money to be happy, are often the same ones that insist that you need a girl to be happy.

As we all know, you got it backwards. Once you stop completely relying on girls to be happy, you end up attracing them.

 

[wait_out]

I'm not a bouncer. I have 2 advanced degrees. I have 8% bodyfat and bench 275 (I used to bench more). My previous corporate job involved a great deal of board meetings and conferences as a manager. When I was a professional PUBLISHED photographer, there was a never ending stream of status which came my way. Girls, money, drugs, travel, sex, the whole lot came to me without any real effort on my part. I just had to continue to be a very skilled photog and it was easy...

...They failed. But, they did not have the tragic realization that most of the other guys who are like them also failed. The internet driven realization of mass failure is the real tragedy. It is incredibly difficult for someone to realize that their social station is nearly impossible to escape... unless you are one of the lucky few.

2 questions Duff, no trolling.
1) How sincere did you find *most* of the connections you made were?
2) To what degree do you think America has become a society segregated by social classes?

I've got certain biases against your lifestyle. Lifting for aesthetics is a time-intensive, narcissistic rec activity, many degrees are useless related to concrete employment, and lots of the respected corporate elite are parasitic. Of course, nothing I think changes the way things are, and these things have a lot of value. I'm curious to know whether you like the game or just saw the writing on the wall and adapted to it.

Bad example. I don't need money to be happy, but if I had a million dollars and you just took it from me, I would be pissed. Not so much with regards to the financial loss but because of the injustice of you stealing from me - I would crush you.

Depending on where you lived, if he had stole your million dollars and you had nothing, he would just hire guards to protect his house until ANOTHER guy he hired had shot you in the face. Don't take being able to crush him as a precondition.

The real value of money is in what can actually be mobilized with it. If you have a million dollars and no water in the middle of the Sahara... you ain't rich

 

[Duffdog]

2 questions Duff, no trolling.
1) How sincere did you find *most* of the connections you made were?

Not to sound too elitist, but connections made when one has status are only dependent on what the other person feels that you can do for him/her. In real terms that relate to my example, super attractive girls who are trying to be models do NOT flake on a published photographer when he calls and says "I'm going to be shooting at XXX event, meet me there." In other circles, I find that its the same thing. True connections are only made by people who are already connected in some way. There is no sincerity at all. I can do something for you and you can do something for me, so we are friends. Along the way, both of us can pick up a few random females for fun without any trouble.


2) To what degree do you think America has become a society segregated by social classes?

I think America is completely segregated by income classes and it has always been that way. If you can afford to hang with the rich folks, your net worth increases. But if you can't, don't plan on landing any business deals anytime soon.

I've got certain biases against your lifestyle. Lifting for aesthetics is a time-intensive, narcissistic rec activity, many degrees are useless related to concrete employment, and lots of the respected corporate elite are parasitic.

I understand. I like lifting weights because it makes me physically stronger and more intimidating. I do not apologize for it, it fits my personality. Degrees are crap in my opinion. I know several people with engineering degrees who are unemployed because their profession got outsourced to some kid in India who works for 7 bucks a day.

Of course, nothing I think changes the way things are, and these things have a lot of value. I'm curious to know whether you like the game or just saw the writing on the wall and adapted to it.

I actually like the game. I like how people can be easily manipulated using their emotions, and how their desires can be shaped using only 5 parameters.


Depending on where you lived, if he had stole your million dollars and you had nothing, he would just hire guards to protect his house until ANOTHER guy he hired had shot you in the face. Don't take being able to crush him as a precondition.

The real value of money is in what can actually be mobilized with it. If you have a million dollars and no water in the middle of the Sahara... you ain't rich

werd

 

[zekko]

My life situation got lucky when I lost a job and someone starting a company wanted an engineer with a research and corporate experience background. There are vastly more talented people out there who aren't where I am mainly because of the life situation I was presented with

So you were in the right place at the right time. Like I said before, you put in your work and hope it pays off.

There have been many studies about how winners of the lottery report being no happier 1 month down the road than they were before.

I agree with SoCalMike about this at least: Happiness is a state of mind. If you don't know how to be happy when you're poor, you probably won't be happy when you've won the lottery. If you're happy and then win it though, that could be fun. Unfortunately I never play the lottery.

The USA the richest country in the world

Is this even still true anymore? Just curious.

 

[The Message Boy]

Pandora

We have to try very hard to stay in shape, work hard at getting good with chicks, work very hard at being successful in what we do. The guys who have all of this what are they doing differently. Is it purely genetic or do they just have that much more discipline in life than we do.

Sometimes it comes down to working smart v.s. just working. Movement does not mean progress in some circumstances and just because you are doing alot of activity does not mean you are moving forward.

For example, alot of guys are given wrong information on getting in shape and obtaining a great body (how many times have you heard doing 1,000 sit-ups "spot reduction" tones your abs?) so thus they never obtain the right body because they don't spend more time on how they eat, cardio, the right exercises, etc, which is what leads to the great body. That's not some "genetic" secret or "gift," it's called just having the right information so thus, you can make better decisions.

Discipline and a strong work ethic are apart of the equation, but I think the driving factor is the "working smart" portion of the equation.

You can work very little but spend that time "working smart," and most of the time make further progress then a guy that's working very much but spending most of that time not working very intelligently.

Sometimes discussions on "genetics" can be used as a cop-out. I can just hear the fat guy in the gym from the other day telling me that the reason he's overweight like he is, is because his Father was overweight (genetics).

It's crippling to creativity, innovation, and self-reliance to think that just because you were not "born" with extraordinary abilities that you can't obtain the right information on how to obtain them. MAJORITY of successful people were dealt average to mediocre hands in life. Just look at majority of the successful businesses out there. Most of these business owners were not rich when they started their company nor did they have access to large sums of money either. Most of them opened their shops from personal savings, credit cards, pooling money together from family/friends, etc., and worked "smart" to take a $5,000 investment and turn it into million dollar businesses. Don't take my word on it, just look up businesses that have been in operations over 5 or 7 years or so, and just read their start-up stories. You will see that majority of these businesses had a great idea, worked "SMART", and dedicated themselves to the company's success.

That has NOTHING to do with your genetic pool.

 

[backbreaker]

great post.

i'll give 2 examples


first... i, and I am not exaggering, probably tripled my income when i was younger by going scheduling my time as efficently as I possibly could instead of just making a big to do list and hoping it would all get done.

i got more done, and actually did not work AS hard, not working mindlessly and i hd more free time to relax. not much more but more lol



with exercising, i get it all the time, espically when i take my shirt off you can tell i used to be bigger as i have stretch marks on my sholder. people ask me how much i used to weight and i saw 240-245. that'd about 70 pounds more than i weight now, with less muscle. everyone asks me what they need to do to quickly lose weight. "i want to lose 20 pounds in 2 months"

that's actually very very possible even likely, if you stick to HIIT. I remember when I was 20 years old i was about 190 in march and i met my future fiancee the day before my birthday, june 17th, becuase i was in the mall shopping for my dad a father's day gift and looking for new pants beucfase i was now wearing a 32 and they were falling off.

not only had i lost weight i had a V damn near by revolving everything i did by running sprints until i puked. then running more. I would get up at about 4:30, run short wind sprints, then run long wind sprints, the later go to the gym, and do HIIT on the bike, then run a mile, then play ball a little, then lift weights. the only time i jogged was on sundays i would go for a jog around my apartment. all the other time iw as balls to the walls running.

And while I ate pretty clean on saturdays and friday nights I ate literarly anything I wanted with no qualms whatsoever. pizza, cookies, beer, didn't matter.


I lose very little muscle in fact i gained some and went from a 38 to about a 31.. 30 in the right jeans.

no one wants to hear that. no one wants tor un utnilt hey damn near faint.

but that's working smart. i was shedding weight like butter.

 

[backbreaker]

Who doesn't love the godfather? one of the best movies ever made.

Everyone loves Michael and everyone has their fav scene in the movie.


One of the most overlooked scenes in the movie, a nuance it took me watching it a few times to catch, in about midway through the godfather 2... The don that always wore the white, came into the grocery store, and the man not only makes the grocery store owner pay him double now, he makes the man hire his nephew, and the grocery store clerk had to fire his best employee (Vito Corleone) in return.

What did vito do? Did he go and get piss drunk? Did he cry about it? Did he get on the internet and talk about how much republicans or democrats were taking away jobs.

Not only was he not mad at his employer, he found the time to think of his wife on the way home, and hand picked her out a pear, and ate dinner like nothing was wrong. Even when struck with something that ****ed up, he found time to make his wife feel like the most important person in the world.


IN other words, he dealt with it. Not only did he deal with it, he took it a step father and SOLVED the problem (by eliminating the don)

that's not that far from what this site (is supposed to ) teaches. Stop blaming women and look in the mirror a little. Okay, so this happened, it is what it is, let's deal with it. As long as you are breathing ****ed up things are going to happen. It's the response to these things that makes someone successful or unsuccessful.

It's not very hard to spot someone who is going to be "successful" or "better" to put it in terms of this post. they dont' go around blaming other people for their problems, even if it honestly is someone Else's fault. They are practical in nature and are result oriented not blame oriented.



This is in essence the difference between successful and unsuccessful people.

You can learn something from everywhere and I think you can learn something from that. In that scene, you could tell that vito was a natural born leader.

Well... I take that back. he was not a natural born leader. he was thrown to the wolves, and you either sink or swim. he swim. he learned how to keep a level head, learned how to survive, and learned that sometimes, things aren't as bad as they seem nor are they are as good as they seem.

Very few people are natural born anything. In fact, the richest people on earth, are usually some of the poorest people growing up.. it takes extreme conditions to develop the type of extreme dedication and fortitude it takes to mass billions of dollars.

The guy whose parents both make 100k a year and never had to really want for anything, while he might want to make a million dollars a year (just using a random number, make your own number), never will have to exert the amount of effort, and develop the type of skills that it takes, to become the person that it takes to become to get there. That person will usually be pretty freaking content making 100-200k a year. Life always has and always will work in extremes. it's usually the extreme poor and the extreme hardships that make people develop a burning desire to hit the other extreme.

it's no different than this site. it's no coincidence that the vast majority of guys who **** different women every night, couldn't get laid in a ***** house before coming here. The guy who never had a problem getting a woman in his life, might want to "get more women" but it takes a stone cold mother****er to come here and want to develop the necessary skills to have that type of game.

And before you say 'that's a movie' If you know anything about history, anything, you would know that Vito Coloerne's story did not derive from thin air, while it's been somewhat changed for cinimatic purposes, his story is errly similar to Lucky Luciano's biography (to a point, vito never went to prison in the book or movie and lucky did a stint on some trump up prostitution charges).