Why are some men just better at life

[Duffdog]

So, basically, life isn't fair? yep... You either are born with potential that exceeds other men or you aren't. Its a pretty standard concept that is not politically correct, but often explains the success of very successful people. In short, they succeed because they were supposed to. You on the other hand, were not, therefore, don't be surprised when you don't.


Sounds like the "nature" argument is being recycled presently. In 20 years, it will be back to "nurture" again.

Due to the fact that I have been naturally gifted, I agree with the "nature" argument. Those who were not gifted naturally cannot accept that argument, so they must chose the "nurture" argument. It is the same sh1t that has been happening for 500 years.

If you were born a loser, you think: "People can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it"

If you were born a winner, you think: "Why do all these losers keep thinking that they can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it?"

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

So, basically, life isn't fair? yep... You either are born with potential that exceeds other men or you aren't. Its a pretty standard concept that is not politically correct, but often explains the success of very successful people. In short, they succeed because they were supposed to. You on the other hand, were not, therefore, don't be surprised when you don't.


Sounds like the "nature" argument is being recycled presently. In 20 years, it will be back to "nurture" again.

Due to the fact that I have been naturally gifted, I agree with the "nature" argument. Those who were not gifted naturally cannot accept that argument, so they must chose the "nurture" argument. It is the same sh1t that has been happening for 500 years.

If you were born a loser, you think: "People can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it"

If you were born a winner, you think: "Why do all these losers keep thinking that they can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it?"

I'm smelling bullsh!t here. This mindset is highly unmanly, and anything but that of a winner.

 

[synergy1]

So, basically, life isn't fair? yep... You either are born with potential that exceeds other men or you aren't. Its a pretty standard concept that is not politically correct, but often explains the success of very successful people. In short, they succeed because they were supposed to. You on the other hand, were not, therefore, don't be surprised when you don't.

its not PC because people are unwilling to accept that they are more mediocre than they are. I read an interesting blurb in the intelligent investor that discussed how people often overestimate their abilities - they think they are better than they are. Its rather ironic because their egos are unable to handle the fact that they are actually quite average.

 

[zekko]

I'd like to point out the the original post was about guys who seem to have it all. While a lot of the subsequent posts are more about guys who get really good at one particular thing, which is a different subject IMO.

Of course if a guy is passionate about something, chances are he's going to get good at it. He'll be willing, even eager, to do the hard work necessary to master it. And there's where the luck comes in. If a guy happens to be passionate about something that he can make a lot of money doing, then he can hit the jackpot. If a guy is passionate about javelin throwing, say, he may be the best ever but still isn't going to make a fortune off of it.

 

[Duffdog]

I'm smelling bullsh!t here. This mindset is highly unmanly, and anything but that of a winner.

Well, I suppose that denial is also a common human emotion:crackup:

Thanks for demonstrating that for us.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

All I have demonstrated, is your weak-ass mentality.

If you were indeed "born a winner" as you say, count your blessings doubly; you couldn't get it any either way.

 

[Trader]

So, basically, life isn't fair? yep... You either are born with potential that exceeds other men or you aren't. Its a pretty standard concept that is not politically correct, but often explains the success of very successful people. In short, they succeed because they were supposed to. You on the other hand, were not, therefore, don't be surprised when you don't.


Sounds like the "nature" argument is being recycled presently. In 20 years, it will be back to "nurture" again.

Due to the fact that I have been naturally gifted, I agree with the "nature" argument. Those who were not gifted naturally cannot accept that argument, so they must chose the "nurture" argument. It is the same sh1t that has been happening for 500 years.

If you were born a loser, you think: "People can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it"

If you were born a winner, you think: "Why do all these losers keep thinking that they can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it?"

Yes and no.

There are limits to anyone's potential. If you want to be an Olympic Gold Medalist or make it in the NBA - basically if you want to be 4 or 5 SDs to the right of the bell curve, then yes you will be limited by *nature.*

However, if you are just looking to be 2 SDs above the mean (top 5%) in your field, I say with hard-work practically any average person can get there. You can go very far with what God has given you. In fact, you can even go further than many people who were gifted but never applied themselves.

 

[Warrior74]

If it's all just luck or your born with it,then why is anyone on this site at all? What's the point in even trying? To those who say its just given to you, why are you here? Because if you are a natural with women you wouldn't be here and if it was never meant for you to have women, again, why are you here? Your mere presence indicates you can't believe fully in what you are saying, otherwise you would leave here, not give any advice and accept your lot in life.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

there are roughly 150,000,000 men in the united states. some are really really tall, some are really really short, but the vast majority are average.

Same goes with intelligence, artistic talent, social skills, game, and a propensity to increase their already above average gifts.

There will always be several men at the right end of the bell curve that possess several qualities deemed "successful" in a man. It is a statistical certainty.

One thing that often gets overlooked in the nature vs. nurture debate is the ability to nurture a superior nature.

The trick is not to wonder why some guys are born lucky, or had good empowering parents, but to recognize your own skills, and learn how to effectively enhance them to get what you want out of life.

In Psycho Cybernetics, the author exhorts the reader to never, ever compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to where you want to be and get busy.

 

[Oxide]

I've met these people, in some areas I am one of the people you are talking about, just like many of you are in others.

It is always, always hard work and years of practice and repetition. It is the will to achieve, to keep active, to avoid stagnation and complacency. It is the burning desire to rise above the average.


In one case, it is about your mother doing all this work so now you have it fairly easy - but you still do a lot of things to not mess it up.

 

[speakeasy]

Malcolm Gladwell took on this topic in a recent book:

http://www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017922

 

[Poonani Maker]

It's all about State. If you're in the right state of mind and body, you can accomplish anything the 1st time you try it. I've recently started playing a water sport. My 1st time out there this past Monday I scored 2 goals. A few of the players were international competitors. They said that I was a "strong" swimmer. I told them that I'd never put on a set of fins before, and that I never swim. Of course, my everyday job keeps me ultimately fit physically and mentally, so that allows me to just go in as a newbie in a field and kick ass on short notice and prep about the rules.

Then there's acquiring knowledge that takes YEARS to accumulate, that you May choose to sit down and learn or to forgo that research in place of something else you'd rather do. The point is, everyone has the capacity if they are in the right state of mind, which to me, is a loving state of mind. Love conquers all, even yourself. Love propels one to action.

 

[Warrior74]

The world gives us plenty of quantifiable ways to see how we measure up. For most people, the answer is "about average", for some it's substantially below, for some, substantially above. Despite the evidence, people by and large insist on thinking they are above average.

So here's a question for all; What is your evidence?

Do you have papers published? More than a few notable athletic accomplishments, preferably as an adult? Patented inventions? Copyrighted works of any note? Earn in the top 5%?

If there is no measurable evidence to the contrary, I have a hint for you .... you're average at best.

Here is the real point. I know that I'm average. I'm the average lower middle class working stiff. I have goals and I'm working towards them (mainly financial freedom). I have no blinders about who I am and where I'm at. But for those who claim that excellecence are genetic...where are they? They push this idea but they have not once told us where they think they are, because deep down they know. They are average or above average but no ubermencsh. It's the same ole betas talking about alphas thing all over again.

 

[backbreaker]

wow some of you need to go pick up the laws of success like RIGHT NOW.

Anyone who tells me anything other than persistence and hard work are needed to be successful I laugh.

8 years ago I was an AFC kid who didn't go to college living at home with his grandma because his mom kicked him out the house.

I don't' say this in a bragging sense, but just to the people who say you need luck or some people are born with "it"....

8 years ago I was living with my grandma's extra room in little rock. Now I stay in Monrovia, CA in a house that I have the title to.

7 years ago I remember I had 1 pair of shoes... they were brown dress shoes with a hole in the back of one of them. I was overweight and in due time I developed a nasty and I mean nasty crack cocaine addiction becuase i hated myself. While I never was dumb, and took nothing but AP classes in high school, I never stepped foot on a college campus. while i wasn't bad looking, I was broke and was hopeless with women. I drove a 92 accord that was had gotten into a wreck and the entire front left side of my car was basically useless.

While I'm not a huge car guy, I drive exactly what I want to drive today. Not only that, my Fiancee drives what she wants to drive as well.

It got so bad for me that for a while I lived out that car, sleeping in wal mart's parking lot when my grandmom kicked me out because her boyfriend didnt' like me.

Through nothing but want to..becuase god knows I did not have any help.. I came up with the idea to start a computer company and my business partner and I after 3 years willed that company to a better life for the both of us. i sold my part of the company, got in shape, started reading books, started learning new things and becoming interested in new things. I got clean off of drugs off of nothing of want to. I didn't' want to waste my life being a drug addict. And at one point it was a 1-1500 dollar a week habit. I wasn't playing around. There are people here who don't' make that much a week, I spent that a week in drugs.

Today I own my house, I have successfully started a new business, I have a beautiful fiancee who has given me the love of my life, my son Joseph. I honestly do what I love to do for a living now, I'm in the best shape of my life (8 years ago I was a 39 inch waist... today I'm a 29-30 and I'm almost 5'10).

It goes beyong just monatary stuff. I was always a decent piano player.. this is one point I would agree to you that some things come natrually. I am probably more of a natural musician than the avg person. I have noticed that it does seem to come to me easier than the avg person and usually even the avg musician... I wanted to be able to play good jazz music. Now there isn't a jazz song, a popular one, you can't name that I can't play pretty well. that makes me feel just as good as anything else, that i set out a goal and with no music teacher, just said damnit.. I'm gonna get this ****. And I did.

I wanted to learn how to speak a foreign language. I can go to France today and fit right in.. albeit help from my fiancee who speaks fluent french.


through nothing but the want to be better and making it my chief definite aim in life to become the person that I want to become.

I am living proof... while I'm smart I'm not a genius.. I'll be the first to tell you that. while I am handsome...well i take that back I'm pretty damn handsome lol...sorry.

But you will not, under any circumstance...outwork me for something I want. And I probably will fall on my face a few times, god knows I have. But I will in due time get where I want to go. I relapsed probably 50 times trying to stay clean. at least. If I don't know it, I will surround myself with someone who does or learn it until I get it right.

I read this every morning



I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite chief purpose, therefore I demand of myself persistent, aggressive and continuous action towards it’s movement.

1.I realize that the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, bodily action and then gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore I will concentrate my mind for thirty minutes daily on the task for thinking of the person I intent to be, by creating a mental picture of this person and then transforming that picture into reality through my actions.
2.I know that through the principle of autosuggestion, any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of realizing it. Therefore I shall devote ten minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of the factors named in the seventeen lessons of the law of success course
3.I have clearly mapped out and written down a description of my definite purpose in life for the next 5 years, a price that I intent to earn and receive through strict application of the principle of efficient satisfactory service which I render in advance.
4.I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless it is built upon truth and justice. Therefore I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to me the forces I wish to use and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to service me because I wills first serve them. I will elimate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity, because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring one success. I will cause others to believe in me because I will believe in them and in myself.



Having chosen a definite chief aim as my life’s work< I know understand it to be my duty to transform this aim into reality. Therefore I will form the habit of taking some definite action each day that will carry me one step nearer the attainment of my definite chief aim.

I know that procrastination is a deadly enemy of all who would become leaders in any undertaking and I will eliminate this habit from my makeup by:

1.Doing some one definite thing each day, something that ought to be done, without anyone telling me to do it.
2.Looking around until I find at least one thing that I can do each day thatI have not been in the habit of doing, and that will be of value to others, without expectation of pay
3.Telling at least one other person each day the value of practicing this habit of doing something that ought to be done without being told to do it.

I can see that muscles of the body become strong in propitiation to the extent of which they are used. Therefore I understand that the habit of initiative also becomes fixed in proportion to the extent that it is practiced.

I realize the place to being developing the habit of initiative is in the small, commonplace things connected with my daily work. Therefore I will go at my work each day as it if we’re doing it solely for the purpose of developing this necessary habit of initiative.


[FONT=&quot]I understand that by practicing this habit of taking the initiative in connection with my daily work I will not only be developing this habit but I will also be attracting the attention of those who will place greater value on my services



Finally I'll leave you with this

There are three types of people in life


1. the person who does what they are supposed to do without being asked


2. the person who does what they are supposed to do when they are asked

3. the person who does not do what they are supposed to do when they are asked



What type of person are you and which type do you think is the most successful?
[/FONT]

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Finally I'll leave you with this

There are three types of people in life


1. the person who does what they are supposed to do without being asked


2. the person who does what they are supposed to do when they are asked

3. the person who does not do what they are supposed to do when they are asked

Reminds of two other similar quotes, one relevant, one not.

From Brian Tracy:

There are three kinds of people in the world:

1) The small minority who make things happen

2) A slightly larger minority who watch things happen

3) The vast majority of people who stand around a wonder "What happened?"

From Clint Eastwood (In the good, the bad, and the ugly):

There are two types of people in this world

Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

 

[Oxide]

Backbreaker, glad to see you doing great, bud. Can you expand on how you figured out the definite 5 year plan?

Btw, one of your lines reminds me of Will Smith's work ethic quote: "If we get on the treadmill, two things will happen. Either you will quit, or I will collapse dead. There is no other choice"

 

[killahpl]

The thing that comes to mind with regard to the topic at hand is that, yes, persistence and will power is crucial when one tries to take their life to the next level, but let's put things into perspective here.

Some people have been put down viciously, systematically and relentlessly all their childhood and sometimes well into their adult life, some people were brought up in emotionally abusive families, others still in physically abusive families and others still in sexually abusive families, ****, some people were born without arms or legs or both.

Some people get motivated by hardship, others are totally discouraged by even the slightest obstacle; some people push themselves through the worst of situations, knowing that even though their low on fuel, the hardship will have made them strong and better people; other people commit suicide (and I am NOT judging anyone who chooses that option).

Let's not throw everybody into the same basket, ok?

When I see a guy who at 25 lives in a big house financed entirely by his parents and just putting on a pretence of work by doing a few hours a week, then that person really has no business telling me to 'get over it', because they can't relate to my situation as I have had it considerably tougher than he did.

By the same token, I won't compare myself to a person with no legs and tell them "you need to eat some humble pie because there are people with no arms OR legs). I have no business doing that.

The point is, where is somebody who has some sort of significant disadvantage going to take the will power or faith or guts from if all they're getting is negative stimuli?

That being said, I'm here because there's this small seed of hope/belief that allows me to get up every morning and believe that life will be better and that I will be good with women someday, even if everyday I feel like starting a thread here where I can whine about how tough it is. Hell, I've been suicidal.

And I want to be good with women because, perhaps surprisingly, I don't feel cheated financially by life even though I work two jobs while living in a ****ty country with few prospects just to survive; likewise, I don't feel cheated genetically, even though my genetics leave a lot to be desired. The one area of my life which I really feel cheated in is relationships with women, or lack thereof.

And it ****ing sucks to see somebody with no substance as a person get all the best-looking women; Does the fact that this guy has been pampered and spoon-fed all his life, and therefore thinks himself a king, make him "better at life?"

 

[jonwon]

The question is:

How many so called potential winners are actually bottom feeder loser?

I bet plenty.

Take a so called nature argument; potential winner, stick him in the slums of Pakistan and see how he probably dies by the age of 28 due to alcohol poisoning.



Same can be applied to so many so called winners.

You can't build an house out of nothing - Even a professional builder, needs bricks, tools and resources.

What am I saying?

No matter how privileged you are, you still have to rely on nurture to bring it out in some form.

Those doctors that are just great at what they do? The story would be vastly different if he had gone to the wrong school, met the wrong friends, had an abusive mother or father, e.t.c.

Also it is a little known fact that rich families, or should I say families where by the parent is successful in a field, i.e a Doctor, there is a very high chance the off-spring of that successful parent will follow in the footsteps.

Whereas if you get a low income family living on the bread line, the chances of the offspring leading similar lives is amplified just the same.

There is a reason why the leaders of countries are more often than not, toffs, or kids from rich back-grounds, in most cases.

The truly genuine cases of success from people who have crawled up from the bottom are more or less adventures into hardship, strife and sheer hard work.

How many of you here now reading this thread could have different lives, if you did something slightly different at a cross-road in life:

Stuck with the BPD GF
Stayed on to University, done another degree
Born in a family just that little bit richer
Born in a family just that little poorer
Born in the heart of Africa, or Pakistan
Left your job and took a chance on going it alone.

Take Richard Branson or other famous people, pink for example who worked in Mcdonalds. Imagine if Richard Brandson never started his shop, never went out alone, never tried.

Or what about - Rod Stewert, famous because he had been dumped by a women - He sat on a train line with a guitar in hand, and at that time a record producer happened to come by.

Or CrissCross - Wearing cloths back to front, just happened to walk into a Mcdonalds a record producer was sat in.

So many stories of successful people who through sheer circumstance become successful, or because of there background became successful.

Take a rich kid V poor kid - The rich kid is going to get a better education, is going to have far more options and chances and opportunities then that poor kid that no amount of nature can make up for. How many people had a car bought for them for their 18th? Again an extra variable to help that person score a bit more poon.

 

[zekko]

Also it is a little known fact that rich families, or should I say families where by the parent is successful in a field, i.e a Doctor, there is a very high chance the off-spring of that successful parent will follow in the footsteps.

I thought that was well known actually. When a parent is in a high dollar profession, they experience first hand the advantages such a position can bring, and they make sure that they pass that info on to their children. And put their resources towards pushing them into that direction.

So many stories of successful people who through sheer circumstance become successful, or because of there background became successful.

Right. Hard work is the best thing you can do to improve yourself. But it's a mistake to point to successful people and say they're successful just because they work harder than anyone else (which is another way of saying they're better than everyone else) because it just isn't true. In some cases it is, but in others it's circumstance.

Hard work alone isn't going to necessarily do it either. Look at the cases where people have worked two menial jobs like scrubbing floors. They most likely work far harder than someone studying for a degree, it's just not applied in an area that most benefits them. All hard work is not necessarily equal.

 

[Duffdog]

I would like to add that some people don't really just don't have to try at life, their life is already set out for them and success comes from nothing other than just waking up in the morning.

For instance, I recently met a girl who will be graduating from college this semester. She comes from a wealthy family who doesn't want her to have to struggle in this job market, so they simply bought an entire insurance company and made her the COO of it. When she graduates, she will step into a 340K a year job without even attending an interview. Convenient, huh... Its also convenient that she is a super hot blonde with a 23 inch waist, isn't it?

What kind of guy do you think she will be going out with and eventually marrying? Most likely a guy from another rich family in a similar position who graduated from Harvard and makes over 20 million/year with 2 doctorates and a 12 inch c0ck.

It is another iteration of "life isn't fair" all over again. There really is no point in trying to attain something that is in all fairness, out of your reach. If you want to be one of the guys in the .00000001% of all humans who achieves Bill Gates status, you just have to be lucky and be born at the right time in history and for your particular skill set to just happen to make you a zillionaire.


I haven't been posting much lately because I have a girl now... and I would like to say it was because of my "game" or whatever, but it really wasn't. It was because she took interest in me due to my looks and the interest was sealed because some other guy came up and tried to ****block me, but instead was thrown on the ground by me. It was really just luck that this guy thought he was going to intimidate me and gave me the opportunity to knock his ass out. I don't know how one could explain something like that happening as 'game.'

It is easy to dismiss other peoples failures as "not trying hard enough", but really, who makes that judgment? Who is to say when a guy tries his whole life to succeed and still fails that he didn't try hard enough? One of the things that has resonated in my mind is how this site seems to have a lot of unfortunate guys asking a bunch of "why's" over and over again. Why did she dump me? Why won't she call back? Why is it this hard to get a hot girl? Why aren't I rich? etc... In many cases, the answer is simply: "because life isn't fair" As a big, tall white guy, it would be a disservice for me to tell smaller guys to use my methods...cuz they probably wouldn't work for anyone else but me!!

Its the same with the OP's question-- How/why does a male seem to have everything in life without trying? Well...Its because life isn't fair, again. My advise is to stop worrying about one's station in life and simply try to have fun before you die. Getting a hot girl should not be the focus of life, living life should be the focus. And, while you are living, if you happen to make a billion dollars along the way-- great, if not, don't worry about it because it probably wasn't supposed to happen anyway. Keep in mind that most people are average...yeah, this means you. By definition, an average person will NOT ascend to the top of the ladder in terms of anything they do when compared to everyone else. There can only be a small percentage who attain superior status. Numerically, there is a large chance it will not be you...

So...DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON IT!!! Do not spend every waking minute wondering how you can be the best in the world at anything, don't waste your time wondering how many other people are smarter than you, richer than you, have more money than you etc... simply do what you would like to do with your life. But, consider what path you take with regards to women. If you elect to sit by yourself at home for the rest of your life and play video games, you can pretty much eliminate the idea of getting any hot girls. If you decide to do something more exciting and social, you probably won't have any problems with females.