Why are less attractive girls more attractive?

[I-am-someone]

Here's just a couple of thoughts about relationships that have been wandering through my head.

Very attractive women just can't seem to do it for me. It's like all extremely attractive women just seem so self-absorbed in their appearance, that it just turns me off so much I don't even like them anymore. I'm not the only guy that has this, I've talked to plenty of other guys that have the same feeling.
Then, when you meet a girl that is not all that attractive, you suddenly find yourself feeling unable to to have any kind of sexual feeling towards her. This is also a common thought among a lot of men.

Some people have closed these two fields down, to the point where 0,01% of the female population is still worthy of a relationship. Others don't care one dime and consider 80% of the female population as worthy of a relationship.
Neither one of these extreme opposites is really to blame for their taste. Somehow, throughout every human's life you define a list of criteria that your mate should live up to. This is just the way you are.

However, you can change your list of criteria. It's not all that hard. I believe that every single man has the ability to look within himself and loosen up these criteria in one way or another.

I have changed my criteria quite a bit over the last few weeks, and I honestly think that it's actually for the better. I've finally started to look deeper into people's personalities. Once you really go deep into someone's soul, you suddenly realize that that is a thousand times as important as appearances.

A 6.5 can suddenly turn into an 8.5 when you change your criteria. This 6.5 can have such a great personality, that it automatically raises the attractiveness.
A 9.5 can suddenly turn into a 6.5 when you change your criteria. That 9.5 can be so self-absorbed, so spoiled and so annoying, that she becomes absolutely unattractive.

These two examples, are real-life examples. I've experienced the change myself, and I believe it did me good.
Three weeks ago, I was in a bar with a 9.5 from my school, a model that does modeling work almost every week. I had been neg-hitting her most of the day, she was visibly getting horney and had been trying to get my number for a while. In the bar, she was talking to her friend and I could see what she was saying and vaguely hear it. She told her she wanted to **** me, preferably that night. So, I decided to move in for the kill, and started chatting to her with my leg in between hers while she was basically riding my leg, having me hands on her ass. Somehow, during that conversation, I realized that this was not the way to go. I finally decided to look into her soul, and as I was sitting there I suddenly realized I didn't like this girl. This girl was so self-absorbed, had lied to almost all the people she knew, had abused people to get what she wanted and just had such a personality, I suddenly felt like some horrible troll was riding my leg. I kept on laughing, and kept my game up but I managed to cool everything off by telling her she wasn't my type.

All of this made me realize, that I was essentially looking for the wrong thing, or rather that my list of criteria wasn't quite correct yet.

I'm not just looking for the girl with the sexiest body. I'm looking for a girl with a sexy body, and a great personality.


Please comment, I would love to hear someone elses take on this as well.

 

[DJohnson]

Simple really, most people are most attracted to ( I mean to the point of getting erect ) to women they believe also are more likely to be attracted to them. So you may want to look into if your self esteem, concerning women, is truely where you want it to be. If it is, great! If not, be honest with yourself and plot a strategy to fix it.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Originally posted by I-am-someone
Once you really go deep into someone's soul, you suddenly realize that that is a thousand times as important as appearances.

That doesnt really make sense... you meant...
"you suddenly realize that that is a thousand times MORE important as appearances"

Yes i agree with this... i feel the same way

really hot girls turn me off, cuz they're so busy with other guys, and if they have a bf youll just get beat or somehting (if the guys like a gangster) its just too complicated....

On the other hand, the HB7's or w/e are so ez that once you get them you know you can go for better...

I go for girls who can be funny and ****y like me hahah, and have an average to good-looking face

 

[quest]

depends what u want from a girl.

long term relationship, personality vs looks - the gap is closer
one night stand, personality vs looks - the gap is farther

lets be serious here.
most guys are here are close enough to 20.

if we were all to marry the next hot girl that we picked up, 95% of us would just have a fat mum in 20 years. so personality should be more important for long term.

 

[darthsidious]

It's very simple.

A girl that you do not consider attractive yet you treat her like one of the guys is not placed on a pedestal that guys usually worship so they think that you're more genuine.

Hence why a true DJs treat everyone the same, even the guys. And a false DJ only treats the girl he's interested in super nice while everyone else gets the shaft.

 

[ghostin]

Girls that are really hot rarely have good personalities. They never needed to develop a good personality, they just used their looks to get by in life.

 

[isotope]

also if you start to overlook flaws you can find a real diamond in the rough

there a quite a few girls with great bodys but so-so faces. and them you learn to get familiar with her face, and yo ufind it prettier and prettier. Like one girl i know has crooked teeth, but once you get used to them you stop caring, and they are kind of cute in a way

and over time crooked teeth girl looked hotter and hotter to me

it wasnt long before she was shredding up my rooster with those teeth

 

[TACH]

I understand where you're coming from I-am. I don't know why you didn't nail the 9.5(one time thing, c'mon) but I feel ya on looking deeper than apperances. IF you're looking for more than a fling.

I think that finding a 7 and getting to actually know her is way more refreshing than the hot 9 with zero personality. I'm sure most people do, but I'd rather search through the 7s to find someone that I'm really feeling instead of pounding my head against a wall(or trying to find 9s with some type of cool personality.)

I agree with PIMP that I love finding girls that are sarcastic/funny, but sometimes ****y really gets annoying to me..

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Dude, pretty girls rarely have a wonderful personality, but that doesnt mean that a fugly with a great personality becomes attractive to me. I'm beginning to think that it is impossible to find a cutie with a great attitude that isn't already in a relationship. I thinking finding a LTR is diffucult, unless, you are willing to date down....

The dating game is daunting..

 

[penguin]

Yeah I know how it goes. "Textbook" hot doesn't do it for me anymore. I still find it attractive, but nothing can turn me on more than someone a little less than textbook hot but with some character. Maybe a bit pale, carrying a few extra pounds for those curves, (must have good personality) something that makes them unique.

I think it's because "textbook hot" is everywhere these days, i'm a little sick of it. I've seen it thousands of times.

I also find that the personality of these chicks raises my attraction.

Oh how it would be great to go back in time when "hot" was so simple. When it was 'the chick on that tv show'. Now for me, for some reason, attraction has become a whole lot more complicated with many more factors

 

[JonJack]

Sexy body and great personality.

Again, ask for too much or ask for something that is unlikely to materialise, and you risk getting nothing.

I would prefer sexy body OR great personality.

Understand that to find a person who is physically attractive and have a wonderful personality according to your personal tastes depends on whether you believe it is reasonably achievable.

Go and figure out what is it you want from a relationship, then go and think about the standards you have. If you're comfortable with it, you should not be worrying about women and relationships. Feel anything else and you are hurting yourself with the choices you have made.

 

[MacDiddy]

My friend...

You are obviously attracted to women that you believe are desirable... One that is worthy of bearing you offsprings. Every man has this hard wired into their DNA.. However, let me point out that your interpretations of desirable is different to the majority of men on this planet... Different but I would not say surprising.. With chicks having a mind of their own (and legislation to ensure it), society in the western world being what it is and plenty of chick mags offering step by step advice on how to handle themselves with men... Its a wonder if there are anymore feminine and proper women on this planet left...

There is... you just have to find them and not settle for the Drama Queens!!!

 

[Luveno]

I-am-someone,

it seems your advice advocates settling. You are saying that ALL attractive girls have NO depth of character. You are also saying that AVERAGE girls are MORE INTERESTING. Generalizations much?

I will not date anyone I do not find attractive, even if they are the nicest person in the world. Sexual attraction isn't a list I can change at will - its automatic.

How I go about things is:

1.if the girl is attractive, I date her to find out her personality.

2.then I have sex with her to find out how good she is in bed.

when both of these things happen, it is the personality that is weighed more heavily. However, if the girl is not attractive to me initially, she will never make it to step2, and thus is a waste of my time.

If she has no personality but is good in bed, I just use her until I'm sick of it.

If its the opposite, I spice things up.

If both are good, then I consider an LTR.

Sure finding someone who is desirable in both aspects is hard, but thats all part of the dating game.

To all you guys: NEVER lower your STANDARDS!

 

[ObieJuan]

Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
Dude, pretty girls rarely have a wonderful personality, but that doesnt mean that a fugly with a great personality becomes attractive to me. I'm beginning to think that it is impossible to find a cutie with a great attitude that isn't already in a relationship. I thinking finding a LTR is diffucult, unless, you are willing to date down....

The dating game is daunting..

I feel EXACTLY the same way. Every time I see a girl I like (decent looks, some brains. good personality) she isn't single. I hate it. Not that it's going to discourage me from trying but it's really hard to find quality women where I live.

 

[Luveno]

Originally posted by ObieJuan
I feel EXACTLY the same way. Every time I see a girl I like (decent looks, some brains. good personality) she isn't single. I hate it. Not that it's going to discourage me from trying but it's really hard to find quality women where I live.

That is why us DJs have to take an ACTIVE role and APPROACH!

As the great Wayne Gretzky said:" You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

 

[frivolousz21]

hail to the great one!

 

[Desdinova]

Lots of great views on this thread.

Here's what I did when I got sick of the "hot" women. I started varying the women I dated. One would be a 9.5 while the other would be a 6. I had to find SOMETHING attractive about them physically or else I would scratch them off my list. 100% personality just wouldn't cut it for me. I knew this one girl who was persuing me like crazy. She had lots of energy, was one hell of a singer, but she was flat chested, flat assed, had an ugly nose, wore coke bottle glasses and had beady eyes. Even though we had something in common, I turned her down.

Also, 100% looks obviously doesn't work either. A girl with 100% looks is going to be boring, irritating, or both. I've dated a few like this.

When I broadened my horizon, I got a better view of the whole picture. One thing I will say is that women who have less going for them physically are NOT always the better choice. I've met (and dated) women who were less physically attractive and had personalities just as bad, if not, worse than the very physically attractive ones. These types of women try to make themselves look better with their speech, attitude, and actions, and have similar personalities to the dumb hotties.

If you're looking for an ideal woman to have a LTR with, make a list of what types of things you want and don't want in her personality. Trust me, the list will grow as you date women. Look for the one that fits your criteria as closely as possible. Don't forget to find SOMETHING physically attractive about her.

While you're looking for a woman who fits your criteria, don't scrap every woman who doesn't fit. Have a little fun while you find your ideal woman. Dating is a way of passing time until you find a woman suitable for a LTR.

Dating more than one woman will make your search go more quickly. If you find yourself overloaded with women (which I have), either shorten the dates, space them out more, or scap the woman you have the least use for. Also, don't overload your life so much with women that you have no time for yourself. A DJ's personal time is his treasure. A DJ's woman is a compliment to him.

 

[Bonhomme]

Interesting thread

The self-contradicting title caught my eye, but this turned out to be a good discussion after all (chuckling).

I also find a lot of overly-polished beauties a bit too cold and plastic looking to really turn me on the way a more natural-looking cutie would.

Everyone has their own ideas of what is attractive. And they don't always match those put out by the marketing mavens of Cosmopolitan.

 

[PRMoon]

One of my genious co-workers down at the cycleshop has this saying, "Aim Low, score high." ... I think he stole it from somewhere but I just can't figure out where from.

 

[I-am-someone]

Why didn't I have sex with the girl? Don't ask me. Ofcourse I kicked myself afterwards... I just absolutely couldn't do it at that time, not with her...

I see some pretty good thoughts in this thread, guys...

It's funny, I know exactly what I want in a woman... she just has to be fairly short and have a nice 'joie de vivre' going on.
You'd think that wouldn't be all that difficult to find... but somehow it is

It's not like I'm lowering my standards. I never will because I know I don't have to... it's just that a good personality gets me going more than some nice tits and ass. I'm betting I'm not the only one here who has that.