Who uses the Idontgivea**** attitude here?

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
i wanna know the people who use the i don't give a **** attitude on this forum and are very sucessful with it?.

Also as a new don juan who wants to run with this attitude i need ALL the advice possible in getting into this state.

Like some films,harcore rock/rap music to get you into state etc...

cause i think the hole nice guy **** isn't working for me atall.
 

TheInfamousCBear

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 7, 2002
Messages
705
Reaction score
2
Age
41
Location
The World In My Eyes
Dont try to fake anything cause you can only pretend for so long, and you will be tested...Things like that you pick up from life itself, not for trying to get at chicks...
 

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by TheInfamousCBear
Dont try to fake anything cause you can only pretend for so long, and you will be tested...Things like that you pick up from life itself, not for trying to get at chicks...
yeah but you CAN develope a i don't give a **** attitude...it's not like i want to pretend cause i don't give a ****...it's just hard to get into state sometimes.
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
luckily enough, I've always been like that ... it's just been covered by a loads of AFC ****

i don't think you can "learn" how not to give a ****, it just happens
 

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by arlanda
luckily enough, I've always been like that ... it's just been covered by a loads of AFC ****

i don't think you can "learn" how not to give a ****, it just happens
ok but what advice could you give somebody who wants to develope/learn to not give a ****.

I mean you must've cared at one point before you just gave up and learned not to care?.
 

TheInfamousCBear

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 7, 2002
Messages
705
Reaction score
2
Age
41
Location
The World In My Eyes
Originally posted by LoveBOT
yeah but you CAN develope a i don't give a **** attitude...it's not like i want to pretend cause i don't give a ****...it's just hard to get into state sometimes.
This isnt a state you get into when youre trying to get a chick, its a mindstate for your whole life...The reason why people feel that way is because of things they actually went through in life...You cant just listen to music and watch films and get that way, cause like I said, its all from life experience...There are gonna be times when people are gonna talk sh1t about you and people will think youre crazy or whatever, and if youre not confident enough, youre gonna break and then people will see that youre fake...If you wanna go this route, thats what you gotta be prepared for, cause you really have to be strong and confident to not care what people think and do your own thing, thats prolly why people like that additude, because you gotta be confident...It isnt easy, it takes years and years and going through alot of bullsh1t for this...Are you ready?
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
ok, here it goes ... i got hurt by a girl and approximately at the same time people I thought of as a friends backstabbed me

as for my relationship with women, i simply decided not get hurt by a woman ever again ... all it takes is some self-control ... i toughened up and learned to respect myself more
 

ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
1,776
Reaction score
2
Originally posted by LoveBOT
ok but what advice could you give somebody who wants to develope/learn to not give a ****.

I mean you must've cared at one point before you just gave up and learned not to care?.
The only problem i see about the nice guy is that he doesnt respect himself, therefore looking for validation through others.

Anyway to answer your question it's not an easy process. The way i did it, i modeled myself after one of my classmates. Lack of sleep helped also. Anyway i think the easiest thing to do really is to be self-assured of yourself and be certain of yourself and decisions at all times. And honestly, the easiest thing for a nice guy to learn to do is learning to be a little more selfish instead of altruistic.
 

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
"The only problem i see about the nice guy is that he doesnt respect himself, therefore looking for validation through others."

THAT sums me up right there

----------------------------------------------------
I'm just sick and tired of being the guy who everyone loves,i don't like confrontation and become the niceguy and apologize or some **** to avoid it.

i say good morning to everyone and be extra nice to girls when i talk to them...i tend not to swear infront of girls and also refer to women as ladies...

it's just the hole ACT of being nice is driving me ****ing crazy!...i just want to break free and do and say what i want.

Also i think girls don't find me attractive because i'm too nice....if a girl does something i don't like i think about saying **** but never do...i just want to not care what they think and tell em.


i just wanted some like tiny step missions or things i need to accomplish in order to care less.

ALSO i CAN'T and yeah,I WON'T approach because i'm a niceguy i care about what they will say to me etc...
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
Well, it's tough but you're gonna make it eventually. Has anything really bad ever happened to you? I lost one of my parents when I was 11 - that event really shaped my character - both in a good and a bad way.

Only after I got badly hurt by my one-itis I decided to change my ways.

Challenge yourself and make the testosterone flow (seriously, this **** makes you speak out and behave like a man).
 

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
I've never had anything bad happen to me like,but i did have a problem with this stalker who got me into alot of **** with alot of diffrent people.

But i think your right...i guess i'll have to change the mould that society shaped for me in growing up.

I want to shape myself now to what I WANT TO BE like...and that is somebody who can approach and treat women no diffrently then anyone else.

The way to do this...is to learn slowly not to care!
 

DJ4Real

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Messages
947
Reaction score
0
Actually, you can learn how to not care in one hour....
 

dipset_mafia

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 25, 2005
Messages
139
Reaction score
0
Age
38
heres why I don't give a ****

i do give a **** about myself, my career path, and my health... however, i don't give a **** about finances (until they're gone) and I don't give a **** whether or not a chick is into me...

I think for me its cause I'm newly single and pretty "emotionally unavailable" ... Like I'm not looking for a substitute -- I'm hunting everything out there... and in the whole process i manage to never get phased when i get negative vibes from a girl, or she blows me off - because really and truly, I couldn't care less.... maybe its oneitis working to my advantage... in teh way that I am over my ex, but thats the only girl out there that has any pull on any sort of emotions in me...

IT also could be that I'm extremely picky with women... and unless they fit my exact criteria, i don't care what happens... pvssy is pvssy is pvssy - unless they're ugly/fat... thats gross.

dipset
 

AmIAFC

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
315
Reaction score
7
Age
46
Not giving a **** effectively deals with the "clinginess/neediness" issue, IMO. When I f'd that co-worker, I wasn't calling her every day (hell, I haven't called her once), nor do I visit her office regularly.
 

LoveBOT

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
Some good replies here lads....hopefully i can adapt my attitude from the guy who needs validation to a guy who wants ***** and won't be seen as a tool.
 

Abbott

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2002
Messages
896
Reaction score
0
Location
St. Louis Area
Originally posted by LoveBOT
i wanna know the people who use the i don't give a **** attitude on this forum and are very sucessful with it?.

Also as a new don juan who wants to run with this attitude i need ALL the advice possible in getting into this state.

Like some films,harcore rock/rap music to get you into state etc...

cause i think the hole nice guy **** isn't working for me atall.
Simple. The best way to not care is to simply not care.


Though if you need a way, just realize how many things don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

If someone doesn't call back because they don't want you in their life, then so what? It's one person, and there are many in this world. No point in obsessing.

If someone tells you or says something that really touches a nerve with you, it won't do any good to become very emotional and angry. If you aren't satisfied without some kind of reparation then use logic, facts, and common sense and try to explain to the other person why your point of view is better.

If someone constantly trash talks you, don't become angry. Either ignore them, or use a high powered whopper of a comment to really cut them down to size.

If you like doing something, then (for the most part) go ahead and do it regardless of whether others approve of it. Of course, don't go around killing people even if that's something you like (sick rotten good-for-nothing...). For example, I still like to watch cartoons, whether it's the old Warner Bros.(tm), the old Disney (tm), or even the new Disney (tm). So why shouldn't I watch them?

Those are just a few examples.


Listening to some trashy, terrible music (or should I say noise?) is not going to help you.

I don't listen to rap. I hate it, and I think it simply makes things worse for everyone. But that doesn't mean that I can not care about that which doesn't really matter.

If you insist on assuming some music will help you, then listen to whatever you like. Do it without regard to what others think or feel. If you really do like rap, then listen to it because you like it, not because someone else said you should. If you like classical, then listen to that.

And remember, you can be nice. You just can't be "Nice." Hopefully you understand the difference.

Plus, don't go overboard. Sometimes you DO need to care about certain things. For example, I refuse to go out in public looking like a slob. And I care about making a point of trying to be the best man I can be.

Ben
 

ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
1,776
Reaction score
2
Originally posted by LoveBOT
i wanna know the people who use the i don't give a **** attitude on this forum and are very sucessful with it?.

define your idea of success with i dont give a ****.

Life experiences can really change people. and you probably dont know who you are yet. You're living the role that society told us we should live by. But to live by your own standards is such a great feeling.

I think the turning point for me was probably back 3 years ago when i had oneitis for this girl. We were friends and all but i hated the idea, one day all of a sudden i was different to her. Basically i was mad at her and on jerk mode temporarily.

Honest to god, girls would rather avoid confrontation than to be seen as a *****. Anyway she knew i was pissed and asked me what was wrong...oh plz.

From that day onward it hit me like a ton of bricks to give up my 'nice guy' ways. And some of my bad 'nice guy' habits did go for a 360.

Then came next semester, there was this laid-back, yet ambitious fat guy, who did present an i dont give a **** attitude. I saw what i liked and implemented a bit of his attitude into mine. It took a whole semester but afterwards i was different than my old me, but still far from the today me. Anyway after getting to know him better i found out he was an selfish piece of ****, who actually lacks confidence. as fearful as it was, for a couple of months i was becoming more and more like him (the anti-social, ill-mannered part of him.) But soon after i realized that, i immediately changed those bad habits around. And incorporated more of who i wanted to be.

But anyway there's so much other experiences and social interactions with people that you must take into consideration. It's not JUST about "i dont give a fvck", but it's also to be understanding, considerate, self assured, well mannered, friendly, etc.

There is no 100% fool proof method to become who you want to be. Just stay open minded and keep your eyes opened. Just examine how people respond to you when you speak to them, it measures a lot about you. Body language is extremely important also
 

organizedconfusion

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
916
Reaction score
7
Location
everywhere,nowhere
*sigh*
that feeling of "i don't give ****"?
it's called NUMBNESS.
and it's NOT something you'd want.
it could also be associated with bitterness,sadness
covered up by anger,and in general it's not soo much
i don't give **** but more like i don't give a ****
about anyone other then myself,and if you get in my
way i'd wipe your face all over the pavement.

it's from having your inards beaten and bruised by
bad experiances and a coping mechanism-
a "scar tissue" that hardened and developed
into a scab over your real self. Protecting it.

trust me, it hurts. and pain is the only thing that
will bring about the attitude.
i am beyond broke in terms of my attitudes towards
females and i am trying to regain a healthier
outlook on them.A more positive outlook in general.

if you pretend to be a bad a$$ once you meet a real
bad a$$ you'll wish you hadn't

it's not a "style" to me, it's just how i am and it
sucks..i'd give anything for a happy go lucky attitude.




be KIND because thats who you are...
but also aloof and indifferent and you will be prized.
it sounds like you are being nice to be liked and looking for
approval, why not be nice but be indifferent at the same time.


try this experiment, the next day in school be nice to a girl and then take it away. smile one day, then ignore them the next,don't talk to anyone, be unresponsive emotionally, "sigh"alot ,look away as if looking at something at a distance making no eye contact while keeping a straight face when engaging in people, favor some girls while ignoring others.
walk as if you are totally indifferent to EVERYONE,walk
a little slower, keep a straight face,make eye contact with
the girls you normally say hi to but say nothing and
hold eye contact til they move theirs.slow down your
breathing, your blinking-deliberatly make a concious
effort to ignore people and purposly be aloof.

as a matter of fact, if you have the discipline, do it
for a full school week.NOTE how people treat and
respond to you.
i am not telling you to be someone different
i am merly suggesting that use different behaviors & actions to get different responses and to take note of the responses.

all of this creates distance and an unpredictable character in you , making you more interesting and harder to understand.
it creates presence and a mysteriousness that is
undoubtingly seductive.



everyone had their own personal style that best suits their
natural persona, you just need to figure out which one
suits you best where you are at, right now.



what comes natural about a person is also what makes them most seductive...



there you have it the EXACT RECIPE for not giving a ****...
 
Top