MatureDJ said:
This is the case for myself. Even when being introduced to the woman who is to be boss, my first thought is always "would I want to bang her?" Once that is quickly out of my mind, I go on to size her up in the proper non-sexual way. The same thing when meeting my sister's friends/acquaintances. About the only women I have not done so have been women of my mother's generation (i.e., her friends, my aunts, my friend's mothers, etc.) And yes, I have certainly done it with my niece's friends (although obviously I hadn't been acting on it as they were high school chicks!
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I'm the same way.
The biggest logical fallacy that we believe in the dating game, is not that women are somehow better, or smarter then men (though many honestly believe this ****), it's that somehow, there are "good" women and "bad" women, and the "key" to not being cheated on is finding a "good" woman.
Also you are making the mistake of pigeon holing someone by what they did or did not do in the past. As the investing addage goes,
PAST PERFORMANCES ARE NOT GUARANTEES FOR FUTURE RESULTS
I look at relationships like a horse race. Every horse race, has it's own unique set of circumstances, it's own pace, it's own track bias, it's own conditions, that are unique to that race. Like women, i can look up past performances of horses until I'm blue in the face, but that tells me what a horse is capable of doing, not necessarily what it will do.
Frankly I don't give a damn who my wife fvcked or how many guys she fvcked before she met me. I don't care if she's lying or not. That's all about her own vanity. I do know however, if i do what i am supposed to do, and i run the household like a man, and i stay my wife's best option, i have nothing to worry about.
It really all boils down to this. A woman, regardless of her values, her upbringing, her marriage status,her looks, her age, her sexual history, her job, her income, whatever.. will always chose what she feels is the best option for her at that time. It's really that simple. Seriously. If your wife cheats on you, it doesn't make her a *****, or evil, she simply doesn't feel that you are her best option at that point in time.
My point being, we spend alot of time trying to weed out the bad flakes, but the vast majority of the time it's all on us.
Deciding not to take a woman seriously because she did or did not have alot of sex when she was younger sounds exactly like the guy at the track who refuses to wager on a horse that did not finish in the money the last race. It's just simple mindedness, and reeks of someone more afraid to lose than he is wanting to win.f
I am a newlywed and i have no doubt my wife has been faithful to me since we have been together, not because she has great values (i think she does) or because she is a Christan (she isn't), or because i'm "putting it on her" (though I like to think i am lol), or becuase she has a great upbringing (she did), but becuase, simply put, i'm the best option for her. As long as she wakes up in the morning and feels that i am the best person for her, i have onthing to worry about. As long as I wake up in the morning and feel that she is the best option for me, she has nothing to worry about
The second i am not the person I am now, i am in trouble. it might not be now, it might not be next year, but she will be on the lookout.
And for all the talk about women, if she gained 20 pounds, and don't take to my subtle hints she needs to drop the weight, we are going to have an issue. By by issue i mean i'm going to be gone. And i like to think i'm a prety stand up guy.
The problem is that people make sex a moral issue and it's far from it. A woman who enjoys sex is not a low quality woman, necessarily. That doesn't even make sense when you sit down and think about it, considering this entire site's premise is to screw women. As rollo suggested, it's extremely instinctive, and the more you realize it the less likely you are to be "cheated" on.
"best option" is subjective. Best option doesn't necessarily mean someone with more money, or better looking or younger. I think Natile portman is just the cutest little thing on earth, but if she met me in Starbucks tomororw and slid me her number i'd toss it and not think twice about it. my woman is a better option for me, as for what i am looking for in my life
Make no mistake, i'm not saying don't screen women. It's still important to screen a woman, if you want your life as drama free as possible. But do not make the msitake of thinking that you "got a good one" and that she "won't cheat". I assure you that the right situation can bring it out of her.
This reminds me of a time in my AFC past, hell you can even look it up on here on this forum i posted about it, back in i want to say 2005. Right when my company "hit it big" so to speak and i started seeing some results in my own personal life, the new crib, the new car, the new wardrobe, the going out all the time... the girl that brought me here, her boyfriend was going through some serious depression.
i had been trying to get this girl in bed since my mid teen's and she wasn't having it. in retrospect, in her eyes she wasn't NOT attracted to me but she wanted attracted to me enough to do antyhing with me, but she kept me around because i think she thought i had some potential (and she was right).
So; one day he tires to kill himself. it's like at that moment the light went off in her head and she made "the switch". At that point i was the better option. Now she was over my house everyday, going out with me, she was laying it on quite thick. we made out a few times even. she wouldn't give it up, or break up with him yet, but in retrospect that's because she did not want to do that considering her BF had just tried to kill himself, but she made it quite clear once he was in the clear she was gone, and she was. they lasted maybe 3 more weeks, right about the time he got home and settled in.
Besides her liking of guys with money, and besides being smoking hot not really bringing anything else to the table, she was quite normal. no drug habits, doesn't even really drink, never actually cheated on any guy she's been with, . she's married now and they are doing pretty good form what i understand. And I know exactly why she married the guy she's with. He's admitty a pretty handsome guy (We all went on a double date last year), but she "sees where he will be" in 10-15 years. his dad is the VP of the news station she works for. She is projecting him to be something.
If he doesn't become, what she projects him to be, and in turn let her live the life she thinks she deserves to live, i guarantee you she would be out the door.