When you're older and going for older women

[itouchyou]

Let's say you're 37 and going for a 32 year old - how are you able to tell if this woman is being receptive, kind, and not playing games because she is desperate to settle down, vs being that way because she's genuinely attracted to you?

Not only that, but if you're someone who in your youth wouldn't have been able to land a woman like that, how do you rationalize the fact that she's likely settling for you? I see this a lot and can't seem to understand if the guys realize this or if they're clueless. Should that even be a consideration?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Unless she's below a 7 a woman at 32 will still have plenty of options so if she's high intrest you can assume she is actually interested in you rather than desperate to settle

I'm 32 and I'm not really coming across these women that are supposedly desperate to settle in their 30's most seem to behave exactly the same as if they were in their 20's

Again I'm talking about women who have maintained their looks / physique but still...

With regards to the settling everyone ends up settling for something because the desire for perfection at some stage gets replaced with reality

Age will usually force a reality check for both me and women at some stage and that's nothing to be worrying about

 

[itouchyou]

Unless she's below a 7 a woman at 32 will still have plenty of options so if she's high intrest you can assume she is actually interested in you rather than desperate to settle

I'm 32 and I'm not really coming across these women that are supposedly desperate to settle in their 30's most seem to behave exactly the same as if they were in their 20's

Again I'm talking about women who have maintained their looks / physique but still...

With regards to the settling everyone ends up settling for something because the desire for perfection at some stage gets replaced with reality

Age will usually force a reality check for both me and women at some stage and that's nothing to be worrying about

That's a good point. The woman I'm referring to is basically an 8 when looking at the whole picture. I'd say a 10 for her specific age.

Problem is she sleeps around. She's not desperate to settle but she does want to settle.

 

[Bingo-Player]

That's a good point. The woman I'm referring to is basically an 8 when looking at the whole picture. I'd say a 10 for her specific age.

Problem is she sleeps around. She's not desperate to settle but she does want to settle.

this just sounds like a typical delusional modern woman who thinks she's got all the time in world to have her cake and eat it

I just don't understand what these women imagine is going to happen

She's 32 years of age , her child bearing years are in their twilight and it sounds like she's d1ck hoping like she's 21 and in college

Do they not understand they need to be in a stable 1 person relationship for at least 2 years before they can have children or get married !?!

I just don't get it it feels to me like we are headed for an absolute shed load of women going into their 40's single and childless

its going to be fascinating to watch

 

[itouchyou]

this just sounds like a typical delusional modern woman who thinks she's got all the time in world to have her cake and eat it

I just don't understand what these women imagine is going to happen

She's 32 years of age , her child bearing years are in their twilight and it sounds like she's d1ck hoping like she's 21 and in college

Do they not understand they need to be in a stable 1 person relationship for at least 2 years before they can have children or get married !?!

I just don't get it it feels to me like we are headed for an absolute shed load of women going into their 40's single and childless

its going to be fascinating to watch

Yea, thing is she's a really nice person. Has a cat that she loves like it was her own kid. Without her makeup I can see her age, but with makeup she passes for late 20s. Super health conscious, very accomplished in her career, basically a "Stacy" if you will. Her interest threw me off because women of her caliber generally don't pay me any attention unless I'm at a low bodyfat (I'm not presently). So she struck me as someone who viewed me as a stable option rather than someone who she genuinely desired.. but I can't make sense of it. She has given me many signals which I didn't capitalize on because it's still a mind**** that she wants me. She has options, but not the options she wants for some reason. Maybe the options she wants are high caliber men who don't see her as anything special.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Women don't generally just go for physical attraction points could be something about your personality / demeanour she likes

I've had women in relationships in the past become obsessed with me and we had zero physical interaction

Women are illogical when it comes to this stuff

 

[pipeman84]

Let's say you're 37 and going for a 32 year old - how are you able to tell if this woman is being receptive, kind, and not playing games because she is desperate to settle down, vs being that way because she's genuinely attracted to you?

There may a few exceptions (like with almost anything in life) but generally speaking a 32yrs old woman will seek a relationship out of a combination of fear of remaining alone and financial/social status interest. She may tell to herself that she's genuinely attracted to you and at times might actually believe it, but her relationship history shows the actual truth.

The woman I'm referring to is basically an 8 when looking at the whole picture. I'd say a 10 for her specific age.

Problem is she sleeps around.

She's not one of the exceptions.

 

[Westminster]

this just sounds like a typical delusional modern woman who thinks she's got all the time in world to have her cake and eat it

I just don't understand what these women imagine is going to happen

She's 32 years of age , her child bearing years are in their twilight and it sounds like she's d1ck hoping like she's 21 and in college

Do they not understand they need to be in a stable 1 person relationship for at least 2 years before they can have children or get married !?!

I just don't get it it feels to me like we are headed for an absolute shed load of women going into their 40's single and childless

its going to be fascinating to watch

Unfortunately, the media has created a widespread belief that women can 'have it all' including having children in their forties - and a lot of women see photos of 40+ celebrities having kids and think they can have a baby at that age too. Then they discover that they can't.

What they don't see is all the women of that age who are desperately trying to have children and can't conceive, or have repeated miscarriages because effectively it's a 'geriatric pregnancy'.

We've known for donkeys' years that female fertility goes downhill from about the age of 35 and falls off a cliff after 40 but somehow this seems to be overlooked nowadays. Having children is generally a young woman's game. It's simply wrongheaded to believe otherwise.

 

[Gamisch]

That's a good point. The woman I'm referring to is basically an 8 when looking at the whole picture. I'd say a 10 for her specific age.

Problem is she sleeps around. She's not desperate to settle but she does want to settle.

Let's say you're 37 and going for a 32 year old - how are you able to tell if this woman is being receptive, kind, and not playing games because she is desperate to settle down, vs being that way because she's genuinely attracted to you?

Not only that, but if you're someone who in your youth wouldn't have been able to land a woman like that, how do you rationalize the fact that she's likely settling for you? I see this a lot and can't seem to understand if the guys realize this or if they're clueless. Should that even be a consideration?

We gotta be realistic as we age that we'll HAVE TO start looking at older women as options. Because it's equally important to have women that really, really wany you. At 37 it's not impossible but difficult to get women under the age of lets say 25 and have them sincerely interested.

You gotta come to terms with the fact that ANY (modern) women older than 30 been on the dating apps for more than 10 years. There's no great answer unfortunately.

Genuine interest from her side
Your own preference
How it benefits the both of you
Lust

This is my list in that specific order and I just make it up while I'm writing so I might miss a few. But I've learned the hard way that when you put your lust for a woman first you might end up in situations that you don't wanna be in. I rather date a 6,5 who is genuinely into me than a 7,5 who thinks I'm option number 6.

 

[Lotus Effect]

That's a good point. The woman I'm referring to is basically an 8 when looking at the whole picture. I'd say a 10 for her specific age.

Problem is she sleeps around. She's not desperate to settle but she does want to settle.

We can all agree that you placed this chick on the pedestal, right?

By the minute you give some chick a solid 10, you're done.

My opinion is you should look for your princess in another castle bruv.

She's not one of the exceptions.

This guy gets it.

 

[jhonny9546]

By the minute you give some chick a solid 10, you're done.

This!

Not only that, but if you're someone who in your youth wouldn't have been able to land a woman like that, how do you rationalize the fact that she's likely settling for you

By the way, reading this again makes me reflect on what I observe around me.

Women, once they reach the ages of 35, 40, or 50, whatever we consider to be adulthood, tend to receive attention and will have their inboxes filled. We can agree on this. If they have had children with someone and are now divorced, they will rarely be alone, except for those who are somewhat "crazy feminists" and have pets. The healthy ones will want to meet someone for companionship, intimacy, and to share life together.


But, do you know who they will ultimately give their attention to? Perhaps those who message them privately? Yes, maybe for casual sex. But who are they really interested in?

Often, it’s the boys they met in their adolescence, those who were crushes or whom they never pursued for various reasons. And perhaps now these guys have matured as well because they are also divorced or have always been single for their life. Women are drawn to them because of the emotional memories and "undefined" connections they share.

This suggests that a man who was an AFC (at 20 but becomes a great man in his 30s or 40s will attract the attention of those women he knew in his youth, even the married ones, who had relegated him to their Plan B.

From these women POV, these are the "new" Chads of their 40s: the good guys and AFCs who have changed and grown into mature men, while the alphas who got married have now become betas.

 

[DROPTOP_GTA]

Experienced a woman 18 years my senior while in my 40s. (she is a senior). Femininity, sexuality, coolness and chemistry were on another level I haven't found in partners my age. She knew what she wanted, no games. I have learned to never judge a book by its cover. With age came some wisdom. But if chasing young hotties are your thing, you probably can't relate to my situation.

 

[SW15]

Let's say you're 37 and going for a 32 year old - how are you able to tell if this woman is being receptive, kind, and not playing games because she is desperate to settle down, vs being that way because she's genuinely attracted to you?

Not only that, but if you're someone who in your youth wouldn't have been able to land a woman like that, how do you rationalize the fact that she's likely settling for you? I see this a lot and can't seem to understand if the guys realize this or if they're clueless. Should that even be a consideration?

This can be challenging for 30+ men in dating 30+ women. The typical 30s/40s guy is dating a woman in her 30s/40s.

Childless women in their 30s are often still looking to form a family, especially childless women 30-35. This changes for more realistic women in their 30s.

Women in their 40s who are childless are going to be less motivated by family formation but might be motivated by fears of facing old age alone.

In the past 20 years since online dating was de-stigmatized, women in their 30s/40s have been able to get more abundance. In 2014, Roosh mentioned how many men will still fight over 35 year old childless women. The typical 35 year old childless woman has more options than a similarly aged childless man, due to the influence of online dating. This is still true in 2025, if not more true than it was in 2014.

The Wall Is Softer Than We Think

With female abundance, one might think that females in their 30s who are showing signs of interest are more genuine. After all, they don't need to fake attraction as much because of the hordes of options they could have from swipe apps and/or social media DMs.

 

[Gamisch]

This!



By the way, reading this again makes me reflect on what I observe around me.

Women, once they reach the ages of 35, 40, or 50, whatever we consider to be adulthood, tend to receive attention and will have their inboxes filled. We can agree on this. If they have had children with someone and are now divorced, they will rarely be alone, except for those who are somewhat "crazy feminists" and have pets. The healthy ones will want to meet someone for companionship, intimacy, and to share life together.


But, do you know who they will ultimately give their attention to? Perhaps those who message them privately? Yes, maybe for casual sex. But who are they really interested in?

Often, it’s the boys they met in their adolescence, those who were crushes or whom they never pursued for various reasons. And perhaps now these guys have matured as well because they are also divorced or have always been single for their life. Women are drawn to them because of the emotional memories and "undefined" connections they share.

This suggests that a man who was an AFC (at 20 but becomes a great man in his 30s or 40s will attract the attention of those women he knew in his youth, even the married ones, who had relegated him to their Plan B.

From these women POV, these are the "new" Chads of their 40s: the good guys and AFCs who have changed and grown into mature men, while the alphas who got married have now become betas.

I disagree.

The dynamics don't change that much. She will just want a different type of badboy, with the emphasis on "boy" because she'll remain to be a "girl" instead of becoming that woman like you would think/ like her to be.

It's might be true that an alpha becomes beta overtime if he gets molded by a woman for years, but that doesn't mean she will change her taste for alpha men. She will simply despise her own creation and separate from him on a (un)conscious level.

60 is the new 40 for women. Let that sink in.

 

[Hal9000]

Women of any age will always have many more options than you so if they are making their interest clear is isn't usually going to be out of desperation unless you're clearly better looking or richer than they are. Now if you're a very well off dude you really need to be careful because women will pretend to find you fascinating all day long if they think it'll get them the never have to work again golden ticket but that isn't an issue for most guys.

 

[itouchyou]

Didn't expect this thread to be bumped, but I dated the girl in the OP for a bit. Found out she came from a pretty wealthy family so I don't think it's money she was after. Ultimately I ended it, as a better prospect showed up. Oddly, dating in DC is better than NY.. maybe because there likely aren't endless options in DC and women actually have to be more serious because they can't be dating multiple men at a time .

 

[jhonny9546]

Now if you're a very well off dude you really need to be careful because women will pretend to find you fascinating all day long if they think it'll get them the never have to work again golden ticket but that isn't an issue for most guys.

Usually women do this on me, but I have no great status or net worth

She will just want a different type of badboy, with the emphasis on "boy" because she'll remain to be a "girl" instead of becoming that woman like you would think/ like her to be.

Do you think this could referr to "all women" or just the damaged ones?

but that doesn't mean she will change her taste for alpha men.

Hmm, so that's why many engaged women I knew in the past, as well as those I don't know, now seem to be interested in me. I've actually gained points with the women I knew, and for both groups, I am now seen as an alpha because their alpha has become domesticated, so they want to feel that spark again.
This is also the explaination why few single women show interest to me, compared to those engaged ones.
Does that relate?

maybe because there likely aren't endless options

That's actually the key explaining why "Betty" stays with "John" for their lifetime.
They live in the country,