When Women Cheat

[WORKEROUTER]

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.as...ngID=516165&BannerID=541888&menuid=6&GT1=8647

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

I think this clearly illustrates the way a lot of women think. I hardly heard any remorse or guilt. This should be a wake up call to you guys who feel guilty. Women are always looking for greener pastures, and will dump your ass in a second if someone better comes along.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

A reality check all the way.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

When considered, it's not much different than why men cheat; unfulfilled needs.

 

[KillaCam]

When considered, it's not much different than why men cheat; unfulfilled needs.

Exactly. Post of the day

 

[milrenkb]

Great post. Actually I think all of us can use this to nip these problems in the bud.

1. There’s no passion
- Be sponatneous, seduce her in public places, use foreplay, read the Kama Sutra

2. To delay a breakup
- Read the cues, people are pretty easy to read when their hiding something. Learn how to read body language.

3. Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
- Don't get into a long distance relationship.

4. So she’s not left out in the cold
- Find out if she recently got out of a LTR. Girls usually seek valadation from men after they get dumped.

5. She deserves better
- C&F is mainly designed for the attract phase and is to be used sparringly thoughout the rest of the relationship.

6. She’s looking for a missing piece
- Ok, so maybe this ones a little harder. I guess the moral here is that opposites don't always attract. Just think of it like going out with a girl thats saving herself for marriage.

7. To give him a taste of his own medicine
- If I need to spell it out for you on this one then your beyond help.

8. There’s something lacking in the physical department
- Theres plenty of books out there on how to please a woman. Read them.

 

[Bible_Belt]

From the article:

He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was.

That's taking c&f too far. Women have low self-images as it is, and most of them are constantly thinking about their flaws. c&f done well teases them about some innocuous thing, like their shoes or purse.

 

[mrRuckus]

The first few months were fine, but I soon found myself becoming extremely attracted to my lab partner, Henry. What began as innocent flirting eventually wound up with us in bed. After the program was over, I returned home to Greg.

IT'S NEVER INNOCENT FLIRTING. A woman has no business pursuing any prolonged flirting with any man while in a relationship. Same thing with going to clubs. They have no business doing these things. It always "just happens" and people take no responsibility that "I just like flirting and preferred wild sex and male attention at the expense of my relationship." Nooooo, of course not... "it happened to me." Things don't just happen. Someone or you made it happen. Trash.

 

[DarkLight]

or better said... Didn't stop it from happening.

Chicx see it like that. Until its too late and the line has already been annihilated.

-If they do... then they're guilty. So they don't DO, they just let "IT" happen.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

When considered, it's not much different than why men cheat; unfulfilled needs.

It might not be much different, but the way it's looked at is entirely different. When men cheat they're "dogs" "players"..when women cheat it's because he wasn't attentive enough, he didn't do this right, or that right. See how women assume the victim role?

A lot of women have figured out that real power comes from playing the victim. If you can demonize men, you've pretty much got a free ride through life.

 

[wayword]

It might not be much different, but the way it's looked at is entirely different. When men cheat they're "dogs" "players"..when women cheat it's because he wasn't attentive enough, he didn't do this right, or that right. See how women assume the victim role?

A lot of women have figured out that real power comes from playing the victim. If you can demonize men, you've pretty much got a free ride through life.

I totally agree. Total double-standard that comes from outdated notions of chivalry.

Look, reality is most female cheaters have deeper internal problems that keep them cheating on whoever they're with. That's why they don't tend to just cheat on one bf, but most all of their bf's. It's never just an isolated problem, but a REPEAT OFFENDER PATTERN.

So, you must simply learn to IGNORE THEIR FOLLOW-UP CHICK LOGIC. That is just rationalizations after the fact. Fact is, they were already screwed up on their own - which is really what drove them to cheat - not the BS reasons they dug up later to justify it.

Just read THIS SITE to learn how scandalous women REALLY ARE these days and why you should thus NEVER EVER EVER MARRY ONE!!! :nono: Even if you're the perfect man - if they have inner dysfunctions (does she take anti-depressants/anxiety meds, etc?), they will still do it to you!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It might not be much different, but the way it's looked at is entirely different. When men cheat they're "dogs" "players"..when women cheat it's because he wasn't attentive enough, he didn't do this right, or that right. See how women assume the victim role?

A lot of women have figured out that real power comes from playing the victim. If you can demonize men, you've pretty much got a free ride through life.

Eh, labels are as subjective as the labeler. Perhaps if men could give a voice to the reasons why they cheat it may not have such a bad face. Understand that not all women will call guys "dogs" or "players" if they weren't let to believe that there was any exclusivity, the ones that do are more than likely female AFCs who allow themselves to be taken advantage of numerous times. The real difference that I've noticed between infidelity is that women are better at it.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

yup. from that article, I didnt see any remorse from the words of the girls. most of them felt their boyfriends deserved it.

The "give him a taste of his own medicine" gave it away. Not that it is right for the guy to cheat, but the reason, and the fact that she enjoyed seeing the guy's face when he found out.

Milrenkb, your list for nipping it in the bud has lots of good information, but what I find, and that list supports this, is that its always the MEN who have to change to suit the womans needs. its the MEN who lack the passion. its the MEN who have to share her interests, so she doesnt run off and cheat with another guy who DOES share her interests. (and think of it the other way, if the woman has no passion and the guy cheats, how "justifiable" is it?)
Guys, if you keep fixing yourself to satisfy each of her problems, she'll just keep giving you problems to fix. And where does that leave you?

 

[( . )( . )]

Guys, if you keep fixing yourself to satisfy each of her problems, she'll just keep giving you problems to fix. And where does that leave you?

Gold.

Which is exactly why it would have been far more beneficial to post:

EIGHT reasons why women cheat and ZERO reasons why a man should care.

And this bit?

Reason #7: To give him a taste of his own medicine
“My last boyfriend was a total player before we got together. I thought I could change him, but I was wrong. I always heard rumors that he was hooking up with other girls while we were dating, but he always denied it. One night, I got a call from a girl he had been seeing, and she detailed their three-month-long relationship to me and told me about another girl she had discovered he was seeing as well. I was so mad that I went out with my friends that night, dressed to kill, and went home with the hottest guy I could find; I felt like it was the least he deserved! I loved seeing the look on his face when I told him about what I did and that I knew about the other girls. And then I dumped him!”
– Ashante, 25, College Park, GA

Cmon, whos she trying to fool? Thats not reality me girl.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

yup. from that article, I didnt see any remorse from the words of the girls. most of them felt their boyfriends deserved it.

The "give him a taste of his own medicine" gave it away. Not that it is right for the guy to cheat, but the reason, and the fact that she enjoyed seeing the guy's face when he found out.

Milrenkb, your list for nipping it in the bud has lots of good information, but what I find, and that list supports this, is that its always the MEN who have to change to suit the womans needs. its the MEN who lack the passion. its the MEN who have to share her interests, so she doesnt run off and cheat with another guy who DOES share her interests. (and think of it the other way, if the woman has no passion and the guy cheats, how "justifiable" is it?)
Guys, if you keep fixing yourself to satisfy each of her problems, she'll just keep giving you problems to fix. And where does that leave you?

Excellent post. You've succinctly identified the main problem in most contemporary relationships. Guys are entering the woman's reality. They're going to counseling, learning how to be a better mate. But what about the female? It's almost ubiquitous in today's society how men are made to be apologetic buffoons, who should be happy to have a snotty, controlling wife.

The man is supposed to understand her shytty behavior, but she has no obligation to do the same. Watch shows like "Yes Dear" "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "The King of Queens". Total fvcking pvssies kissing their wive's asses.

Doesn't anyone realize that this behavior is not conducive to a healthy relationship? Don't any men realize that if they tolerate this behavior, and even worse supplicate to it, that it means doom for their relationship? Women might say they want to be pampered and appreciated, but sometimes their actions betray those words.

I'm all for mutual respect, but I think the man needs to take the lead. I love women, and I certainly respect them, but I'm not going to enter their reality.

Remember this quote from "Ferris Beuller's Day Off". "You can't respect someone who kisses your ass"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I can see why some of you guys are so upset, you feel that contributing to a relationship means that you're being taking advantage of. Understand that people seldom go into a relationship expecting to cheat, they only consider it if a need isn't being met. Not everyone can fulfill those needs. No reason to get upset about it, it's just a fact.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

I can see why some of you guys are so upset, you feel that contributing to a relationship means that you're being taking advantage of. Understand that people seldom go into a relationship expecting to cheat, they only consider it if a need isn't being met. Not everyone can fulfill those needs. No reason to get upset about it, it's just a fact.

I don't think we're upset about contributing to a relationship. I think the point trying to be made here is that an unfair burden is placed on men when it comes to relationships.

I agree that neither person enters into a relationship planning to cheat, but I'm not sure if cheating occurs because "a need isn't being met". I think that sometimes it's human nature to travel to greener pastures. Sometimes when you fulfill someone's every need, that in itself isn't meeting a need.

I think what we're trying to convey here is that men are looked at with disdain for straying, while women are often portrayed as victims.

Francisco, I'm glad to see you're big on accepting responibility, but I don't think it's wrong to point out unfairness when it's warranted. A lot of your posts have an undertone to them that gives the impression that you're above the fray, and we're just whiners for complaining about this stuff. While I agree that a lot of our problems are caused by our own issues, sometimes that's not the case. Men are men; we're not superhuman.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Francisco, I'm glad to see you're big on accepting responibility, but I don't think it's wrong to point out unfairness when it's warranted. A lot of your posts have an undertone to them that gives the impression that you're above the fray, and we're just whiners for complaining about this stuff. While I agree that a lot of our problems are caused by our own issues, sometimes that's not the case. Men are men; we're not superhuman.

"Men are men"?

[rant=on]
C'mon, this is what I'm talking about, as if men are less than women just because.... I get the feeling that you guys are getting this "above the fray" impression of me not entirely because because I am but because you guys believe you aren't! What kind of noise is that? Anyone, and I do mean anyone has the ability to sever the fray. Keep in mind what David Deangelo says when confronted by an obstacle, "Nothing I can't handle..."

I was talking to some guys over the weekend about this very thing, about how men are denigrated via the media which feeds the psyche of impressionable women. First and foremost, this doesn't include all women, just the problematic ones. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO AVOID THEM! But what one of the guys told me that he read that it's a new era for men if they choose to embrace it; a "Menaissainse."

It's a time that men stop complaining about the stereotypes (and also fulfilling them) and make a change, to do something different; to make their own rules and adhere to them and Cosmo be damned! It doesn't take a Herculean effort to do it either. We're supposed to be the more logical and analytical of the sexes. Why is it always a "us against them" attitude when it comes to women. We have enough of our own resources to not only learn how women function but to also find the best course of action to engage them.

We have control over our actions as well as our attitudes. An article like this should be gold to us giving insight into what women are thinking and their subsequent actions. But somehow threads end up talking about just saying "screw it" and implying that it's a losing cause. It's only that way if we let it. I really feel that if guys took time to understand what drives women they would cut their frustration by half, or at least feel that they have a chance.

All men have the ability to:

- Sarge whomever they want
- Next whomever they want
- Do any thing which they want
- Re-act any way that they want

These things alone evens the playing field for every individual man, if only he chooses to take advantage of it.

[/rant]

 

[insanity]

your never safe in a relationship period. i have watched even the most supposed faithful girls let their guards down. this one guy at my workplace had this trick that got them everytime. when he first met them, he would be all ****y and funny. a couple a weeks later he would ask them on a date fully knowing that they had a boyfriend/husband. the girl usually gave the defensive line i have a boyfriend/husband. so for a week or two he would persist feeding their egos. then all of a sudden he would stop showing them ATTENTION. we all know that attention is like crack to a woman. so she wondered what he was up to and when she started talking to him, he was not really cold, but he just gave her the sense of, he was moving on. next he asked her if she could introduce him to this or that girl which made her surprisingly jealous. then for the next week he just ignored her and talked to alot of women around the workplace making them laugh.

so to get his attention back she dressed more provacativley. she started flirting with him more. it was really bizarre, she was falling for his trap. then in an interesting turn, she started talking about him more and more.

then one night the workplace threw a staff party. booze was involved and we all know what that means. she used her drunk behavior to get close to him and the next day i heard they hooked up.

cheaters suck and there's nothing you can do but listen to your gut. if you get a bad feeling, don't go looking for answers from the person who you think is cheating on you because they'll probably lie to your face.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

"Men are men"?

[rant=on]
C'mon, this is what I'm talking about, as if men are less than women just because.... I get the feeling that you guys are getting this "above the fray" impression of me not entirely because because I am but because you guys believe you aren't! What kind of noise is that? Anyone, and I do mean anyone has the ability to sever the fray. Keep in mind what David Deangelo says when confronted by an obstacle, "Nothing I can't handle..."

I was talking to some guys over the weekend about this very thing, about how men are denigrated via the media which feeds the psyche of impressionable women. First and foremost, this doesn't include all women, just the problematic ones. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO AVOID THEM! But what one of the guys told me that he read that it's a new era for men if they choose to embrace it; a "Menaissainse."

It's a time that men stop complaining about the stereotypes (and also fulfilling them) and make a change, to do something different; to make their own rules and adhere to them and Cosmo be damned! It doesn't take a Herculean effort to do it either. We're supposed to be the more logical and analytical of the sexes. Why is it always a "us against them" attitude when it comes to women. We have enough of our own resources to not only learn how women function but to also find the best course of action to engage them.

We have control over our actions as well as our attitudes. An article like this should be gold to us giving insight into what women are thinking and their subsequent actions. But somehow threads end up talking about just saying "screw it" and implying that it's a losing cause. It's only that way if we let it. I really feel that if guys took time to understand what drives women they would cut their frustration by half, or at least feel that they have a chance.

All men have the ability to:

- Sarge whomever they want
- Next whomever they want
- Do any thing which they want
- Re-act any way that they want

These things alone evens the playing field for every individual man, if only he chooses to take advantage of it.

[/rant]

I think you misinterpreted what I meant when I said men are men. What I was saying is that men don't have magical powers to know how to react in every situation, and if they make a mistake, that doesn't let the woman off the hook entirely.

Your posts seem to portray yourself and these other "ideal" men as being able to have a handle on every trick or emotion a woman can throw at you. Essentially what you're saying is, if a man is "doing his job" he has nothing to worry about, and if something does happen, it's most likely because he wasn't "manly" enough.

I think you offer a lot of good advice on this forum, but it seems like you're stuck in this "we're not meeting her needs, so we need to change in order for the relationship to be successful" gig. That's fine in abstract terms, but to apply that strategy in a practical sense doesn't always work.

I never said men or women were better than eachother. But it seems that you like to imply that the majority of responsibility lies with the man in a relationship. Two people need to work at it. You can only do so much by yourself.