When Women Cheat

decades

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umm no. Doing this stuff won't prevent your woman from cheating. What will? While there are no guarantees, focus on your potential mate's Character and her implied intentions based on this character. Even then you have no guarantee.

Only part of it is about what YOU, her partner, do. But there are plenty of marriages where MEN did not do any of this DJ stuff and the woman didn't cheat, nor does she have intent too. And there are plenty of times where Mr. DJ did his DJ best to make her happy, and she F'd the NEXT DJ that came a calling.

This is about your PICKER folks. How good is your judgment of people, of character? Reduce the odds that you will have a cheater by doing your work up front. By that I mean know your woman. Know her character. But its not about doing every little thing perfectly DJ. No. In fact the DJ mindset (getting her to bed 2nd day) increases the odds that you might pick a woman that is going to cheat on you.


Regards


milrenkb said:
Great post. Actually I think all of us can use this to nip these problems in the bud.

1. There’s no passion
- Be sponatneous, seduce her in public places, use foreplay, read the Kama Sutra

2. To delay a breakup
- Read the cues, people are pretty easy to read when their hiding something. Learn how to read body language.

3. Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
- Don't get into a long distance relationship.

4. So she’s not left out in the cold
- Find out if she recently got out of a LTR. Girls usually seek valadation from men after they get dumped.

5. She deserves better
- C&F is mainly designed for the attract phase and is to be used sparringly thoughout the rest of the relationship.

6. She’s looking for a missing piece
- Ok, so maybe this ones a little harder. I guess the moral here is that opposites don't always attract. Just think of it like going out with a girl thats saving herself for marriage.

7. To give him a taste of his own medicine
- If I need to spell it out for you on this one then your beyond help.

8. There’s something lacking in the physical department
- Theres plenty of books out there on how to please a woman. Read them.
 

wayword

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insanity said:
booze was involved and we all know what that means. she used her drunk behavior to get close to him and the next day i heard they hooked up.
Again, chick logic "drunk defense..."

Did she hook-up cuz she got drunk?
No, she got drunk so she could hook-up.

Which goes for every other BS excuse on that list. The minute you start jumping through all those hoops, you're just over-supplicating and she'll just keep raising the bar.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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Mr_knowit_all said:
I think you misinterpreted what I meant when I said men are men. What I was saying is that men don't have magical powers to know how to react in every situation, and if they make a mistake, that doesn't let the woman off the hook entirely.

Your posts seem to portray yourself and these other "ideal" men as being able to have a handle on every trick or emotion a woman can throw at you. Essentially what you're saying is, if a man is "doing his job" he has nothing to worry about, and if something does happen, it's most likely because he wasn't "manly" enough.

I think you offer a lot of good advice on this forum, but it seems like you're stuck in this "we're not meeting her needs, so we need to change in order for the relationship to be successful" gig. That's fine in abstract terms, but to apply that strategy in a practical sense doesn't always work.

I never said men or women were better than each other. But it seems that you like to imply that the majority of responsibility lies with the man in a relationship. Two people need to work at it. You can only do so much by yourself.
What I'm saying is that men have more influence in these situations than what they portray in these posts. Face it, most of these guys posting in the forum basically say that men are completely defenceless when interacting with women. In a nutshell they are taken advantage of more often because how they choose to engage women.

I absolutely agree that it takes the efforts of two people to make a relationship work. I've said time and time again that the actions of either person in a relationship either contributes to it or contaminates it; however the popular mindset of most men is that interactions with women are games which they can't win, unless they trick the women somehow.

What I will say that men (and women, for that matter) have the majority of the responsibility; no let me change that, all of the responsibility is over their perceptions and their actions. No one can make you feel or do anything that you don't want to feel or do.

Guys come online bitter and dejected because of something that didn't work in a relationship. Putting aside whatever that may have been, they still have the ability to choose how that experience effects them. Just as simple as a guy chooses to approach a woman in the first place, he can choose how he is going to react to the end of an approach gone bad or a relationship gone bad. Everyone seems to tell RAFCs to walk of bad approaches and to keep sarging, that field experience is the best way to get over it. However the sentiment seems to change once it goes beyond the approach and becomes as serious as a relationship which didn't work out. Seldom does the guy get feedback to go out and try it again, it's usually the "women are evil" pity party where guys commiserate. This isn't iVillage.com and we aren't women.
Let's man up and take control of our actions.
 

Scrumtulescence

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This article is kind of disturbing. The fact is girls are no more justified in cheating than men are, and just as men are scum for having sex with a more attractive girl on the side instead of just breaking up, women are scum for satisfying "unfulfilled needs" with another man instead of just breaking up with him. Yet you'd NEVER see an article like this on men. "Why Men Cheat? They're Cheating *******s. The End". This quote by one of the women really gets me...."I think I rationalized that I was trying to spare his feelings.” HA! You think a man could get away with that kind of bullsh1t? And women say men are dogs.


#5 and #7 are totally justified, though, but it just goes to show how stupid women can be when it comes to choosing men. Why did you cheat on him instead of, ya know, leaving him months earlier?


The crap women get away with...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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THE_ADDMAN

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Another point I would like to bring up is:
Unfortunately, women have that social power.

When a woman cheats on her boyfriend, his buddies will still wanna **** her, and forget about their broken-hearted buddy's feelings, if it gets them some tail (so long as shes decently hot.)
hence: her power is intact and actually GROWS.

When a guy cheats on his girlfriend, she cries and tells all her girl friends the (gasp) horrible story about the scumbag of a boyfriend, totally ruining the guys chances with any girl in that social circle (and if shes popular, her social circle can extend quite far out, especially to any new girls that the guy happens to meet) hence: his power falls apart, and his chances with any girls in that social circle is ruined.

Sure, a good DJ can counter this, but its THAT much harder than if it was vice versa
 

WORKEROUTER

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I think the moral is to be constantly improving yourself in all ways and always have options. You ultimately can't control a chick's inner character (and hence how she will or will not act under a particular circumstance becomes out of your control at ALL levels), but if anything was to happen to break your respect from her, move on.
 

ScrewIt

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Women arent fools, they just pretend to be confused and rationalize it to themselves after the cheating happened. Women that cheat do know what they're doing. Loyalty is non-existent to certain women. There are however few/some good women left in this world where cheating isnt in their dictionary, but loyalty is. I have come across such loyal women with bfs, and they do exist...and those guys are the luckiest guys in the world.


The ones that do cheat are either-
A) testing the waters (aka bf upgrade; looking for the one)
B) cant foresee this causing implications in the relationship
C) expect to break up, but want to secure a new branch as they swing
D) cheat out of revenge (due to the other person cheating or isnt fulfilling something in the relationship that the other needs)

I find A and D quite common, in my experience. In most cases of D, the guy is always to blame...which i find ridiculous.

A lot of people stumble into relationships knowing clearly the situation...whether it's FWB, casual dating, exclusivity..etc. yet they choose to ignore the facts because they expect things to go their way. And when it doesnt, the end result is the other person is to blame for the relationship not working out....In most cases that's how it is
 

izza

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It's as if they cloned an attention wh0re and dropped her insidious clones all over the country! It kinda sounds like all these were penned by one person though...
 

( . )( . )

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ScrewIt said:
There are however few/some good women left in this world where cheating isnt in their dictionary, but loyalty is. I have come across such loyal women with bfs, and they do exist...and those guys are the luckiest guys in the world.
Youve got it bassackwards and still approaching it all with a male brain, your presuming "cheating" and the concept of "loyalty" to you applies to females. Its a bad combination of the "unique snowflake" myth thats covered countlessly and male logic.

Read this :
The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.---Unknown
 

ScrewIt

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( . )( . ) said:
Youve got it bassackwards and still approaching it all with a male brain, your presuming "cheating" and the concept of "loyalty" to you applies to females. Its a bad combination of the "unique snowflake" myth thats covered countlessly and male logic.

Read this :
titman, yea i know about that saying. there are however women that allow logic to override their emotion or allow both to function evenly, and such women are emotionally sane and healthy.

If the relationship doesnt work out, they'd rather break up with the bf first, and until someone they like comes by, they will stay single. That's what you call being emotionally healthy and independent.

It's true a lot of women are insecure and emotionally unstable because of baggage. i would say that snowflake theory is more common among younger, less mature women.

It's human nature to see if it's greener on the other side, but regardless we all possess judgment of what should and shouldnt be done.
 

( . )( . )

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ScrewIt said:
If the relationship doesnt work out, they'd rather break up with the bf first, and until someone they like comes by, they will stay single. That's what you call being emotionally healthy and independent.
To my thinking a chick that doesnt grasp another branch before letting go of the other is anything but healthy(and probably bullsh!t but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt).

Chicks just dont have the freedom of independance that we take for granted, the simple fact you see it as a negative shows me your still not really seeing the bigger picture.

I'm not categorically saying they dont exist, sure there may be anomalies out there who go against NORMAL chick behaviour just like there are rare conjoined twins born every now and then but the point is who cares? Why are you writing off the other 99% and holding sacred the ones who MAY be able to think and act like a man? and seeing the others behaviour as something that should be frowned upon?

And giving you the benfit of the doubt again, those chicks who you think would never set up another branch on there NOW bfs, what makes you think they never set up other branches on there previous bfs? are you saying that behaviour is just non existant throughout her lovelife? See its all relative.

I should hope a chick thats thinking about nexting me had another branch to swing to, so should every other guy who cares about her wellbeing. Hell if a chick was to leave me without setting herself up first would make wonder just how much of a cvnt I was being to make her choose such a drastic course of action.

You get what I'm saying?

I'n short I mean we shouldnt be looking at it as negative behaviour, just normal behaviour.

BTW I personally loathe the word "cheating" but I wont bore you with the details.
 

izza

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It is true that honor and loyalty are primarily male terms. It is also true that the primary, I emphasize, the primary decision-making process in women is emotional. But 1.) women can and do still use rational decision making in their lives, and can and do sometimes override their emotions. 2.) Guilt for cheating and fear of being caught ARE EMOTIONS!!, emotions that can even override attraction, depending on the girl.

The decision-making equation also changes to some degree over time.

One can never prove that girl x will never cheat, no matter how many tests you run, because you can always say "well that guy was a chump" or "he was kinda ugly" or "he didn't approach her the right way." In this case, you don't really need to prove a negative; some women, especially religious types, have self-control. Period.

The problem is that 90% of human beings are in a sorry state (myself included) where we have little to no self-control at all! Those that do, really are rare! Most humans live like a leaf in a hurricane. It is rare for a person to create their own storm, and you know what? Some women do it!
 

Demon

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Allison said:
Reason #5: She deserves better
“When I was younger, I dated a guy named Ethan who was really critical of me. He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was. For whatever odd reason, I was into him, despite the fact that all of my friends and family hated him. One weekend when he was away, I met Will at a party and we completely hit it off. He was the complete opposite of Ethan—kind, sweet and generous, yet completely cool and fun, too. We hung out all weekend and it was like a light bulb went off in my head: This is how mature, relationship-worthy guys act. I hooked up with Will the night before he left, and broke up with Ethan soon after. Will and I dated for three years and now we’re married.”
That's pretty much the situation I'm in now, where her boyfriend is "Ethan" and I'm "Will" verbatim.

I just need to create that lightbulb moment...
 

ScrewIt

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( . )( . ) said:
I should hope a chick thats thinking about nexting me had another branch to swing to, so should every other guy who cares about her wellbeing. Hell if a chick was to leave me without setting herself up first would make wonder just how much of a cvnt I was being to make her choose such a drastic course of action.

You get what I'm saying?

I'n short I mean we shouldnt be looking at it as negative behaviour, just normal behaviour.

BTW I personally loathe the word "cheating" but I wont bore you with the details.
Titman you got it all wrong, im not saying it's a negative thing. People of both sexes do this, anyone is fully capable of doing this, as easily as anyone is capable of not doing this.
In short im stating that everyone has a choice whether or not to cheat, again it's about feeding our ego and needs VS morals(logic). And THE EXCEPTION - if the relationship is working great, then all the better as there is no need to look for greener pastures elsewhere.

To clarify my point more, izza made a good post discussing it.

some women, especially religious types, have self-control. Period.
True, some do. Religious types vary... I had a FWB relationship with this chick who claimed to be innocent and christian, all the while lying to her bf under his nose. And when it finally did end between them, he found out the hard way on his own. The irony is it wasnt because of me and her, it was of her and some other guy she meet more recently.
 

SamePendo

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( . )( . ) said:
BTW I personally loathe the word "cheating" but I wont bore you with the details.
Well . . . I've got time. Let us have it titperson.
 
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