When u dont wanna threaten divorce/break-up/defcon 2 punishments/consequences

[SpartanWarrior77]

After reading the thread with Money & Muscle where a bunch of dudes told him to get divorced (which I totally undserstand their reasoning) it did get me curious, if a chick slips up and lies, omits some facts, or otherwise does not follow through on ur leadership/frame...what are some punishments/consequences u can implement without jumping straight to the divorce/breakup card?

I used to punish my ex by spanking her if she was late but this was a sexual vibe and the mistake was minor on her end but I did do it with a somewhat tongue and cheek but stern attitude. However, sometimes chicks mess up in bigger ways so how do u deal with that?

 

[Ricky]

Be careful with any physical discipline. It could go horribly bad quickly depending on the womans state

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I leave. Well. I attempt to. When my GF is very bad, I grab the few things I have at her place, load up my car & go home.
In theory.
Never has gotten beyond me loading up my car.

 

[Gamisch]

After reading the thread with Money & Muscle where a bunch of dudes told him to get divorced (which I totally undserstand their reasoning) it did get me curious, if a chick slips up and lies, omits some facts, or otherwise does not follow through on ur leadership/frame...what are some punishments/consequences u can implement without jumping straight to the divorce/breakup card?

I used to punish my ex by spanking her if she was late but this was a sexual vibe and the mistake was minor on her end but I did do it with a somewhat tongue and cheek but stern attitude. However, sometimes chicks mess up in bigger ways so how do u deal with that?

Here's why women want you to invest. They all know(subconsciously) that men HATE to walk away from big investments. No man walks away from lets say...an expensive leather jacket on purpose. Or just leave a bunch of cash unprotected for the next man to take it from him. That hurts like feck, we might've worked our azz off or took gaint risks to get that paper..

At the end of the day we all know approximately how much time money and energy a woman costs us. It takes a ..damn strong one to just walk away from his investment because she didn't obeyed his law.

That's not even taking lust, scarcity and betaness into consideration. The previous paragraphs describe the 10/15 % of men who even have principles. Most men are spineless, controlled by lust and how other people/men view them. Most men rather stay with an abusive bad woman to project an ideal image so people they dont know,or people who don't like them "think highly of them ".

If you have both, the investment AND the projection disease , you are royally FECKED and susceptible to all kinds of abusive behaviors from low quality women...

Tldr: you gotta be able to walk without giving a single F about past investments...

 

[Serenity]

Punishment should not be necessary, if it is then the relationship is dysfunctional and I'm out. I will communicate what I have a problem with, they either care about me enough to do something about it or they don't. If they don't then I'm simply just out.

 

[soulforge]

Jeez some of you been watching 50 shades of grey as much as the girls watch it.

Spanking her? for bratty behaviour, disrespect, agression, hissy fits? Nope that might work in the movies, but not in reality.

The only power a man has, is to walk away and mean it. Remove your attention and time.

It's a risk, as she might let you walk. But it's pretty much the only option us men have.

Walking away repeatedly? Absolutely pointless.

If you're having to walk away from her multiple times, then your girl is a fvking headache and you need to dump her.

The Walk away should happen ONCE, and if her bad behaviour continues, then she is literally sabotaging the relationship.

Time to walk away for good.

 

[soulforge]

Punishment should not be necessary, if it is then the relationship is dysfunctional and I'm out. I will communicate what I have a problem with, they either care about me enough to do something about it or they don't. If they don't then I'm simply just out.

This is the best approach.

A conversation about her behaviour is a must. If she doesn't take head and dismisses your concerns, then it's time to leave the relationship.

If you're not will to walk away, well brace yourself as likely you will end up in a abusive relationship.

 

[soulforge]

I leave. Well. I attempt to. When my GF is very bad, I grab the few things I have at her place, load up my car & go home.
In theory.
Never has gotten beyond me loading up my car.

You keep repeating that walk out long enough, it will no long have any effect on her.

In reality, your girlfriend should not be driving you to that point where you have to pack your things and storm off time again.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You keep repeating that walk out long enough, it will no long have any effect on her.

In reality, your girlfriend should not be driving you to that point where you have to pack your things and storm off.

fortunately it is a very rare occurrence.
Maybe twice a year.

 

[soulforge]

fortunately it is a very rare occurrence.
Maybe twice a year.

If it's a rare occurrence, fair enough.

If very often, time to drop her.

 

[Baibars]

You keep repeating that walk out long enough, it will no long have any effect on her.

In reality, your girlfriend should not be driving you to that point where you have to pack your things and storm off.

that’s my experience too. Being a bit more distant when she misbehaves is good even when you do it more than once but continuously walking away, ultimatums, aggression or any else form of punishment will not be taken seriously by her if you do it often.

it’s similar with kids. Parents that permanently shout or hit their kids have no real control over their kids.

 

[soulforge]

that’s my experience too. Being a bit more distant when she misbehaves is good even when you do it more than once but continuously walking away, ultimatums, aggression or any else form of punishment will not be taken seriously by her if you do it often.

it’s similar with kids. Parents that permanently shout or hit their kids have no real control over their kids.

If her behaviour is that bad, that you need to pack your bags and leave, then clearly she isn't the right girl.

I mean if it happens maybe once a year, then yeh it's maybe tolerable.

But on a regular basis? Hell no.

Your Walk away would need to be permanent.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

that’s my experience too. Being a bit more distant when she misbehaves is good even when you do it more than once but continuously walking away, ultimatums, aggression or any else form of punishment will not be taken seriously by her if you do it often.

it’s similar with kids. Parents that permanently shout or hit their kids have no real control over their kids.

Though she may be a bit more mature on this. She wants to work things out and says I just quit & leave. She has a point.

 

[soulforge]

It's not the walking away. It's being able to walk away.

I have three kittens. One of them, who joined last, sometimes tries to brat by telling me she's going home and I should just call one of the other women.
The first time I grinned and said, "Just one of them? I could call both, have a threesome."
She kneeled by my side and said, "I was just kidding."
I told her that fellatio affected my memory, so if she wanted me to forget about her brattish behaviour she should use her mouth for something else than talking.
Now, whenever she has one of 'those moments', I just look at her with the same grin and don't even need to tell her to kneel by my side and tend to my trouser snake worm.

Yeh mate, you keep living in Disneyland where chicks just fall onto their knees because YOU grinned and said some magical words and suddenly a threesome dropped into your lap.

She was just amazing from that point onwards FFS

Those of us folks who live in actual REALITY, if you're girl is causing constant problems, just walk man.. Walk

Don't use it as a threat. Walk away and mean it.

If you stay in these types of situations more likely it will get out of hand and she will continue her BS

No she won't suddenly start giving you BJs everytime you look and grin at her.

 

[Serenity]

@soulforge I don't think he lives in Disneyland. The type of dynamic AmsterdamAssassin describes and the sort of things he's into isn't too uncommon, but because people judge and it's not worth the hassle, it's most often kept very privately.

@AmsterdamAssassin you can't blame a normal dude for thinking the stuff you're into sounds like pure fantasy, he probably hasn't had any real life contact with that sphere. I get why he's saying what he's saying to you, your experiences are too far away from his own.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

I agree with the withdraw attention to extreme walk-away.

In my experience, it should never get to the point of “serious foot-downness”. That’s the gray area of “alpha” that I think men sink too much into where I just think there’s a much better frame out there. The aloof/indifferent cool guy imo can supersede some General buzz cut alpha who spends life speaking on his boundaries. No words need to be said. Just withdraw attention.

The optimum gauge with women is all about how much “fun” your relationship and interactions are. The moment it turns serious do to your control, it’s off the rails and time to scope new talent.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Silence & Distance. Now. It looks different in a marriage than a dating situation. Your reward to her is your time/attention which she should value.

If she doesn’t value your time & attention you have bigger problems. That means she is less invested in the relationship than you are. That’s indicative of other (potentially larger) issues.

I will add that I think having to (or feeling the need to) police her social media is a huge problem. I have social media (FB & IG) and I’m totally comfortable with my husband seeing whatever I post (which is super rare on IG -that’s more to interact with my kids).
I don’t worry about what hubby does either. There is trust.

If there is already a lack of trust that’s concerning. All you can do is withdraw and observe. That can be subtle or not so subtle. Work later. Decline outings, go hunting or some other male centered activity. See if she notices.

And that should spark a conversation. You also need to be sure you have reasonable expectations. If you feel the need to control that often arises from insecurities or guilt.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Jeez some of you been watching 50 shades of grey as much as the girls watch it.

Spanking her? for bratty behaviour, disrespect, agression, hissy fits? Nope that might work in the movies, but not in reality.

The only power a man has, is to walk away and mean it. Remove your attention and time.

It's a risk, as she might let you walk. But it's pretty much the only option us men have.

Walking away repeatedly? Absolutely pointless.

If you're having to walk away from her multiple times, then your girl is a fvking headache and you need to dump her.

The Walk away should happen ONCE, and if her bad behaviour continues, then she is literally sabotaging the relationship.

Time to walk away for good.

Yeah but there are tons of small breaks in frame so if you were to abide by your rule of only threatening to walk away once, then you would quickly run out of responses. I'm talking for small infringements here. Walking away is a big time play.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

that’s my experience too. Being a bit more distant when she misbehaves is good even when you do it more than once but continuously walking away, ultimatums, aggression or any else form of punishment will not be taken seriously by her if you do it often.

it’s similar with kids. Parents that permanently shout or hit their kids have no real control over their kids.

Exactly my point.

Here's the other part of the equation: you're not always dealing with someone so rational so conversation might not always be the answer. U need to sometimes match her irrationality to a point when it comes to selecting a response.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

It's not the walking away. It's being able to walk away.

I have three kittens. One of them, who joined last, sometimes tries to brat by telling me she's going home and I should just call one of the other women.
The first time I grinned and said, "Just one of them? I could call both, have a threesome."
She kneeled by my side and said, "I was just kidding."
I told her that fellatio affected my memory, so if she wanted me to forget about her brattish behaviour she should use her mouth for something else than talking.
Now, whenever she has one of 'those moments', I just look at her with the same grin and don't even need to tell her to kneel by my side and tend to my trouser snake worm.

Haha beautiful although this is the alternative relationships route, a guy in a more traditional marriage is bound to other tactics lol