@AmsterdamAssassin you can't blame a normal dude for thinking the stuff you're into sounds like pure fantasy, he probably hasn't had any real life contact with that sphere. I get why he's saying what he's saying to you, your experiences are too far away from his own.
I got that, yes.
I don't mind that, but he takes the wrong conclusion from what I wrote.
If you are able to walk away from dramatic people, they have to drop their mask and reveal themselves to you in order to be interesting enough.
My kitten used to be a party girl and get a lot of validation for her looks, but now she's thirty-one and her looks are fading and she knows I see other women and that makes her insecure and validation seeking.
However, not only is she attracting attention in the wrong way (annoying me),
I know that validation is a black hole. No matter how much validation I'd give her, she'd never have enough.
She wants validation, but what she needs is safety. She needs to feel safe with me that I don't abuse my power over her, so she can submit to me in all her vulnerability. She needs to trust me.
And, she has to be satisfied with any time she gets to spend with me. That is hard, because she used to be the one who was able to walk away, snap her fingers, and find herself someone else. Now she knows she's not needed anymore and she needs to be wanted.
The other thing is that she only feels like herself when she's with me. That's not easy to understand for herself, let alone an outsider who would probably judge her for her dark desires. With me, she can show her true dark self and not be judged for it. She searched for someone like me. Now she got me, but she has to share me. Sharing is not her forte.
So, after I told her she was right and yes I could call other women to spend their time with me, and pissed her off with a grin she couldn't slap from my face, that grin imprints on her that she's unable to walk away. And every time she tries to annoy me, I only have to use that same grin to remind her that she doesn't wield the power over me.
She hates that, but she loves that too. Because she wants to feel awed when she looks at her man.
(I don't expect you to understand that,
@soulforge, but if you're looking for a place where women kneel for you, you shouldn't go to Disneyland.)