When they ask "Why haven't you ever been married?"

[Heretolearn]

any takers for

"well if I was married I would not have met you. Guess Fate loves me. Why do you ask?

Said with smile and confidence *i generally joke then put question back on them

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by yendor28
any takers for

"well if I was married I would not have met you. Guess Fate loves me. Why do you ask?

Said with smile and confidence *i generally joke then put question back on them

I think that would be a great comeback if you could use it at the right time.

For me, I knew this chick has had a thing for me for months, but we have never really talked until she rode with me to the party. If by some chance this came up AFTER you were already "in" with her I think it would chalk you up several points.

Like you said, it also needs to be presented the right way. Something like that could easily come out the wrong way and backfire.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Cesare said it right, women oddly think it's better to be divorced than never married. Strange logic and relationships are the only area where this batty thinking would take place.

Think about the logic a little

... Why did you never FAIL, like as in a divorce?

... Let's say you had the same job for a long time, would the thinking be this: Why weren't you fired before? You're not a real worker unless you've been fired!

... Why do you have a good car? Why didn't you have a car that broke down? You never took a chance unless you've had a car that has broken down. (And I've had my share of beater cars.)

Strange, crazy, freaking logic, trying to put commitment/divorce in the same category. The myth of no commitment is just that, a freaking myth. There is no evidence that men have a lack of commitment more than women.

No, no Darling! We ask the question: Why Don't you HAVE a job? Couldn't drag yourself out of bed at 7:30 in the morning? Have trouble making steady money?

Why don't you HAVE a car? Couldn't stand to sign a 5 year contract? Didn't want to make payment and take care of something for several years?

I'm sorry WC, I'm standing by my idea that a guy in his mid-to late 40's, who's never been married, nor had an LTR in the past, is a bad risk for an LTR in the future! I see them on the dating sites all the time. "47 year old man looking for 25 year old woman for marriage & family." Then you find out he's lived on a 20 foot boat all his life, traveling around, has no home, no money, but he has a dream! Fantasy... delusion...hallucination....whatever...

Originally posted by WestCoaster
And yet another sign of how f-cked up women can be ...

True! But you love us anyway!

(I'm back, did ya miss me?)

 

[WestCoaster]

Well, what if I have a 40-foot boat!

Actually, if one hasn't been in a long-term relationship in their 40's, they have problems. But if they haven't been married, but someone is divorced or divorced multiple times, I don't see how that person is seen as a better catch.

How many times have you been fired? Twice! You're hired! I love hiring failures!

Where did you go anyway? Swept away by the Santa Ana winds?

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

The easy reply?

Never met the 1 I want to devote my entire life to.

I always find the one's asking this question ASSUME it like some sort of 'rite of passage.' Like it's confirmation in Catholicisim. Or getting your driving license. Or your 'first time'. Your First kiss. And so on.

Marriage is a religious and spiritual engagement with another person, that is influenced, in some ways, by society.

We must consider that we are BONDING to 1 person for our physical life. And in doing so, you promise alot, and give up alot. It's not the OBVIOUS thing people make it out to be. Granted, you wouldn't say this to a woman, but I would, with a Straight face say, I hadn't met the 1 wanted to be with forever. All guys meet girls fun to date for awhile, even years, but there's a difference between tolerance and acceptance, and compromise and committment.

That girl, or guys, has to have the personal philosophy of adding MORE value to your life, than you would get being ALONE. Until BOTH sexes get this, the trend of marriage will decline.

I'd be proud @ 34 not being married, quite honestly, and I'd be in position to marry the 26 to 29 year old hotty, who's raring to settle down, who's too weathered to date men her own age, and too ready to fvck for kids. Obv. it comes with the added risk and disclosure that if she wants marriage at that bracket, she'll want kids soon, so be warned about "waning pills, popped condoms, and her desire to procreate soon before or after the wedding." Esp. if she has family who pressures her. Or sisters who've been married already.

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Some women WILL have those ideas, some won't. My buddy JUST turned 40, but looks young. He's gf is 26. There's talk of marriage, as they communicate well, she's into sex as much or more than he is, and she's career minded, to an extent.

I do think women will see red flags around guys who haven't had any sort of committment before, but who cares?

Are you going to engage in lots of LTR to build up your relationship resume so that MAYBE, if you want to get married you have something to show for it?

No. Relationships and the like are for the pleasure of 2 people coming together in a manner that's more powerful than just being 1, or single. Sure, women need their eggs soiled, and they won't get the spiritual desires of men to bring a woman into his life that will build up on what he does, but to a man, it seems more deep to get together than LESS. If it's just sex, there's a whole plenty sort of women who fill that void. Recently divorced women who seek connection, prostitutes and escorts, and the chronically unable to committ hoes who will always be d!ck jumpers.

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This is what comes BACK around to what the purpose of this site is. Unlearning and learning new forms of thought to free the man from the prison brought upon him by poor thinking.

Personal Autonomy and living out the purpose of your existence is the REASON for your being here, and only in doing that can you possibly find happiness and truth. If ALL men were to have LTR's by age 40, or several, it would speak volumes about his level of committment, but what if he was a traveler? Or a soldier? Or a businessman with obvious wealth?

These might be grandiose ideas, but in reality, it's the former thinking of the necessity of marriage that's crumbled men to providing for women, like some obvious system of slavery.

A man's life is GOOD before a woman enters it. If she comes to graciously be a part of it, she must provide MORE than he had otherwise. While it's a woman's nature to fix, redecorate and change his life, it's wrong. It's wrong. Maybe she's making home, but don't let her. To her friends, and maybe your family, she'll convey it that you're not "ready to settle down" or not "ready to committ to her" and so forth. It's all forms of emotional manipulation that's a reality only to a woman. To men, it looks like meddling and trying to change you to benefit her and her expectations.

I speak from a unique position, b/c I can't say how all men are, and maybe as a group, they've become sloth-like and slovenly. Alas, there's good spirit under there.



A-Unit

 

[latebacon]

My two cents on the topic.

The "why aren't you married?" question used to be a severe stumbling block for me.

I used to know in my mind it was a qualifier and i never had a good answer.

I knew I was insecure and had ruined my own chances in the past by being too supplicating when I was keen on a girl or conversely I'd push women away who were keen but I felt were going to impinge on my lifestyle.

But you can't say this to women. I used to just look dumb and say, "I don't know."

That failed the qualifier.

Now I say, "I have my reasons."

She will ask "What are they?"

I sat, "they're for me to know and for others to find out if they can".

Girl:"That doesn't tell me anything."

Then I turn it on them.

How about you?

Girl: "I was married or engaged. I don't regret it but we just grew apart."

Me: "Well that doesn't tell me anything. Why did you grow apart?"

Girl smiles and takes a drink.

Even though I've made the girl a little uncomfortable the conversation moves on and you'll find her interest stays and she's not to keen to go back to the convo.

It maybe is slightly negative but I find it works.

 

[ElChoclo]

Read Dr Warren Farrell, Myth of Male Power. He explains why society tries to marginalize men who refuse to marry.

This type of questioning is an example of the abuse of men who decline to conform to social stereotypes. I notice that Watertiger assumes that someone buying a car should sign up for a 5 year loan. This is exactly the kind of thinking which motivates the marriage mongers. Sign up on a bad deal, pay for it over a long time. And just like that car, after you've paid for it for 5 years it will be worth a lot less, so it goes with marriage. You can pay for 20 years and what you've got at the end is also worth a lot less.

Paying off a car is for suckers, but suckers are what society needs in vast numbers. Just reply that you found yourself in the same position as Abraham Lincoln.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ElChoclo
Read Dr Warren Farrell, Myth of Male Power. He explains why society tries to marginalize men who refuse to marry.

This type of questioning is an example of the abuse of men who decline to conform to social stereotypes. I notice that Watertiger assumes that someone buying a car should sign up for a 5 year loan. This is exactly the kind of thinking which motivates the marriage mongers. Sign up on a bad deal, pay for it over a long time. And just like that car, after you've paid for it for 5 years it will be worth a lot less, so it goes with marriage. You can pay for 20 years and what you've got at the end is also worth a lot less.

Paying off a car is for suckers, but suckers are what society needs in vast numbers. Just reply that you found yourself in the same position as Abraham Lincoln.

Now that was some insightful sh1t...