When someone loses interest

T|CK

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Once a person starts to lose interest, what's the best way to regain their intererst?
 

Juan_Man

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NEXT!!!!

Believe me, you won't want her back after that.
 

T|CK

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Here's the dynamics that are involved with each and every single woman I've dated.

First, we start seeing each other. We start to like each other. Then I play as a challenge just to see if she's worth the effort. Then she tells me she loves me and she can't imagine life without me. Once I see that she feels I'm someone special, I become attached. I start to reciprocate those feelings. As soon as I start reciprocating those feelings, the script becomes flipped. She starts to become distant. She stops reciprocating those feelings to me.

How the hell do I stop this from happening every time? Do I always have to show that I don't care? Do I always have to be aloof and independent? Does it ever work out? Is it ever mutual? How do you make it last? I'm at my wits end. I don't know how to keep her wanting me.
 

T|CK

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I think this is where that "oneitis" term comes in handy. I think that once I become caught, I'm less desirable. I've lost that "limited supply" temptation she was feeling at first. I have to figure out how to keep things going in a positive direction and less attached to the woman. I hear it said around here that the best way is to find more women which becomes cyclical. To get a woman you have to have several women, but to even have several women you have to have at least one woman. And around and around it goes.

I have no idea how to keep a womans interest, and I have no clue how to not become attached.
 

Juan_Man

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I know how you feel. Relationships end all the time. Several have ended as I type this reply. Don't think it's just you. Dating isn't easy. Just keep pursuing women and you should find a woman who goes against the cycle. But it does help to keep yourself from getting too attached. Spend some time away from her so things don't get stale. That way when you do see each other, the time together will be great. Does this make sense?
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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T|CK said:
First, we start seeing each other. We start to like each other. Then I play as a challenge just to see if she's worth the effort. Then she tells me she loves me and she can't imagine life without me.
end it at that.
 

slickaz

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let me tell you how the lifecycle of the relationship should be..

You meet,
you date.
You are scarce, busy all the time with 2 days a week to see her max.
She says mushy stuff. i love you T|ck (which means bullish unless you've been datin and f'ng for atleast 3 - 4 months, because you cant fall in love with someone in 2 weeks!)
you say "aww thank you...change subject"
she wants more of your time.
you give less.
you spend time with your boys, hobbies, sport, gym
you maintain the same scarceness. no more no less.
quality of stuff you do together increases but same time limit.
she wants more.

Through it all, never expect happiness to come from hanging with a woman..you will never be happy if you think itll come from being with a girl

you are a man!..you are too busy too give all your time to a relationship anyway!..

listen bru..women are like monkeys, they go from tree to tree, when they get bored of one tree being too accomodating of them.

you see how you said
become attached. I start to reciprocate those feelings. As soon as I start reciprocating those feelings, the script becomes flipped. She starts to become distant. She stops reciprocating those feelings to me.

How the hell do I stop this from happening every time? Do I always have to show that I don't care?

The only constant there is....you giving too much and gettin ur feelings sh4t on.

yes you need to be independant, hard to get and yet when you spend time together you give her the best time.

thatll make her appreciate every minute with you and talk less bs and impress you more.

you dont need to tell her where you are thru d day if you dont want to.

because she WILL try to put a name to your rltnshp and set it in stone, she will try to take control and will try to hold you down and away from everything else you spend your time on..thats what women do.

but if you resist and say no i cant give that up for you..she'll just want you more...

in simple terms..be like fuel..

when Supply is low, demand is high...

she'll think wisely before every mile she drives on the fuel she has.
 

slaog

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T|CK said:
Here's the dynamics that are involved with each and every single woman I've dated.

First, we start seeing each other. We start to like each other. Then I play as a challenge just to see if she's worth the effort. Then she tells me she loves me and she can't imagine life without me. Once I see that she feels I'm someone special, I become attached. I start to reciprocate those feelings. As soon as I start reciprocating those feelings, the script becomes flipped. She starts to become distant. She stops reciprocating those feelings to me.

How the hell do I stop this from happening every time? Do I always have to show that I don't care? Do I always have to be aloof and independent? Does it ever work out? Is it ever mutual? How do you make it last? I'm at my wits end. I don't know how to keep her wanting me.
You become attached. You start acting differently. Acting in a more needy way as you now show that you need the woman for your happiness. When you start to get oneitis and looking for the woman to make you happy you are not giving to the relationship.


It's not very masculine to rely on the woman to make you happy.


Show the woman you want her but don't need her. Be willing to walk away from any relationship. You can't chase them you need to be attractive to them.


Don't look for women to give you happiness. Just accept yourself and be happy with yourself and they'll feel it.
 
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T|CK said:
Once a person starts to lose interest, what's the best way to regain their intererst?
Just don't act like a wuss when it comes to her time and interest. Don't be overly excited when she shows you special attention. Don't act like a jealous prick when she is in the company of others and don't spend all your time and talents trying to be in her presence. Learn how to control your emotions and not let her know what you are feeling at the moment in order to work the weaknesses in her emotions. If something excites her milk that reaction to get what you want. Always be branching out and do your own thing. She's not The Great Catch, you are. Believe it and live it.
 

T|CK

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slaog said:
You become attached. You start acting differently. Acting in a more needy way as you now show that you need the woman for your happiness. When you start to get oneitis and looking for the woman to make you happy you are not giving to the relationship.
You've pinpointed something here. I kept telling her that she had changed. She just didn't seem the same towards me, but the fact was that I had changed. I was different.

Now that this has been put out on the table. I've got to get back to person I once was. That was a person that didn't need her. That was a person that was completely fine with missing phone calls and emails. That was a guy that hadn't been caught, and because he wasn't yet caught, he was endeared.
 

T|CK

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Juan_Man said:
NEXT!!!!

Believe me, you won't want her back after that.
Nexting may ease the pain, but it won't help me get to the bottom of what I'm doing to cause them to change their minds.
 

Igetit!

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T|CK said:
Nexting may ease the pain, but it won't help me get to the bottom of what I'm doing to cause them to change their minds.

Believe it or not,this problem is actually easier to solve than you think.
What you should do is think back to the moment you first approached this girl,and I mean the very beginning. Examine everything,what you said,what you did,the way you talked to her,the way you looked at her,the way you said her name,etc. Then once you've remembered these things,go back to using them with your girlfriend.

I think that you should treat your girlfriend exactly like you would treat a woman whom you don't know,but whom you're interested in.

The actual problem is that in the beginning,you're wide-eyed and alert because you both are new to each other,but as time passes by and you spend more time together,you stop treating her as you did in the beginning.
When you stop treating her as you did in the beginning,she stops responding and reacting to you as she did in the beginning. Her feelings start to change,and even she doesn't know why. She doesn't know why she feels different,she just does.

So my advice is simply to redo the things you've already done that worked.
 

T|CK

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slickaz said:
in simple terms..be like fuel..

when Supply is low, demand is high...

she'll think wisely before every mile she drives on the fuel she has.
I like this a lot. It's as if I became too available, and I knew I was. I began to hang on every word and every action, but when she couldn't get enough of me, I was just out of her grasp.

So, it's time to flip the script back to my favor. I know the best way to do this is by backing off.
 

DJEzyE

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Just wondering guys, how do you 'cut off your supply?'

For the past two months, me and my girl have been talking on the phone every night for anywhere around 1/2 an hour to 1 hr and I'm getting the feeling that she is beginning to lose interest.

I don't think it is to late for me to change and to cut off my supply...except how do I go from talking on the phone everyday to only talking to her once in a while?

Like she would definitely ask me why I don't call her anymore etc. what do I say to that?

Also if I stop talking to her as much would she lose interest even more(like "oh he's not calling me anymore I'll go find someone else to call me everyday")? Or would she (as the DJs here all say) turn back and start chasing?
 

Poonani Maker

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I have what is called a "forever" oneitis. You see, she changed my life at a low but improving point in my life. I thought, and still think, she truly loves me, but she got married to money recently, but with this down economy, we'll see how long that lasts. I'm in a good position kinda regardless of the economy. I'm solid. Back then, when I was with her, I wasn't rolling like I am right now gettin paid.

We still see each other, but I haven't seen her in about 2 whole months which sucks but maybe I'll never see her again, but she is forever in my heart and mind. I love her. She changed me (INto a man). She's kick ass.

Because of Her, I get women eying me, falling over me, trying to Touch me, following me around, asking about me, horny for me, excited to see me. They ALL now know that I have been touched at the heart by a Real woman. They ALL now know that, in my presence, they sense that I've been with a W o m a n (maybe several women - they can't put their finger on it), that I know how to treat a woman and that I am VERY selective in WHO I show the Best valuable and quality treatment that my essence can show to a woman. They only receive glimpses and have to earn the whole face of me which they'll never get, ever, even while/if married.

A lot of women are so self-obsessed that they are so blind that they cannot sense the value that I possess. Too bad for them, and quite frankly, if she doesn't come around soon, she's a waste of my time and there's a breaking point at which I'll show her absolutely no attention ever again.

So many woman are worthless. VERY few are valuable - like a diamond in the ruff. SO HARD to find. I don't care how she was 'raised' how rich she is how beautiful she is. There's even a level of loving girl who may on the surface "look" loving but you dig deeper and see how shallow her love really is. My oneitis is absolute love. This is why she is/was so hard to obtain. She knew/knows that I love her, and probably still thinks of me, though married.

Ours was a bond or connection that's timeless. Very few will you ever find within your lifetime like that. She is/was the most Strange woman I'd ever met too. To this day, I've never met a more weird woman. Alarming bizarre things she would do that would spellbind me and stop time leaving me in shock. She definitely shook up my life, and I thank her for it.
 

T|CK

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DJEzyE said:
Just wondering guys, how do you 'cut off your supply?'
I know that it's a psychological fact that people are drawn to people who distance themselves. Let's say you date a girl, and she starts distancing herself from you. Here actions change towards you. What do you, and every other person, do? You latch on and suffocate her until there's no love left. That's the nature of men, but it's the exact opposite that draws them back in.

It's counterintuitive. I've been earing this for years, but I have never ever put it into affect, and for the first time.

What works is exactly opposite of what you think works. Sorry to say it, but I finally see that it's true.
 

DJEzyE

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Does anybody have the answer to my question???!!!

HELP GUYS!
 
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