When in doubt....DO NOTHING

[guru1000]

Too much thinking and emphasis was placed on this girl. Only social dynamics should be discussed.

Your desire for this girl, NOTHING ELSE, is what lost her. ELIMINATE DESIRE.

That day she texted you was not the day you messed up. The time you spent with her and the in-between dynamics is where the battle was lost. You FELT and thus showed too much desire. She caught wind of it and propelled the other way. Once this happens , it is irreversible. The frame is established.

"Why does he desire me so?". Her IL went from high to low in an instant.

Life has a funny way of saying, look but don't touch, touch but don't taste, taste but dont swallow. You will never achieve what you attach GREAT EMOTION to. These are the dynamics of the world.

No I didn't read "The Secret". This is my personal experience with life from women to wealth. Put the action forth and be desireless.

 

[ketostix]

That's just it.....it's all based on her reality.

It sounds as if you are saying that a drop in IL can't always be traced back to something specific, is that correct?

I say it can almost ALWAYS be traced back to SOMETHING, although sometimes neither the man or the woman can put their finger on it.

Fact is, she's qualifying you from the moment she feels attraction. I'm not going to say that there is ALWAYS a concrete reason why her feelings change. It's not that simple. But when it really comes down to it there is usually a reason.

Maybe you failed a sh!t test. Maybe you show too much interest too soon and it turns her off. Maybe it's something as stupid as her misinterpreting something you said, but there is almost ALWAYS some kind of underlying reason.

Right I agree with you Str8up there's always a reason no matter how insignificant and invalid it might seem to a man and actually be in reality. And I and a couple others offered a reason in this case: The fickle, worry wort nature of women.

Maybe it's not the reason or the only reason, but I really think it can be the reason. And I think your mistake with her was how you interacted with her on Saturday. I really think you should've never asked her IF she was coming. You gave her an out and you probably address the question she had that there should even be a question to meet up. But after doing this I think you should've done a little persuasion and gaming her interest before pulling the plug like I explained earlier.

 

[jophil28]

Your desire for this girl, NOTHING ELSE, is what lost her. ELIMINATE DESIRE.

That day she texted you was not the day you messed up. The time you spent with her and the in-between dynamics is where the battle was lost. You FELT and thus showed too much desire. She caught wind of it and propelled the other way. Once this happens , it is irreversible. The frame is established.

"Why does he desire me so?". Her IL went from high to low in an instant.

Life has a funny way of saying, look but don't touch, touch but don't taste, taste but dont swallow. You will never achieve what you attach GREAT EMOTION to. These are the dynamics of the world.

No I didn't read "The Secret". This is my personal experience with life from women to wealth. Put the action forth and be desireless.

I am not setting out to be deliberately insulting here but this all sounds like Buddhist BS to me. The concept of having NO desire, NO expectations and NO emotions is monumental crap. I know that it is popular amonst the "all things from the East are all things wise" community but the psych does not fly.
Just expressing DESIRE for a woman does NOT automatically lower her IL at all. It is HOW you show your desire that matters. AFC type fawning worship screams desperation but cool and manly passion sends quite a powerful and very different message. Same desire - different delivery.
It is not DESIRE that is the problem . How it is packaged and delivered is the essential point .

 

[jonwon]

I am not setting out to be deliberately insulting here but this all sounds like Buddhist BS to me. The concept of having NO desire, NO expectations and NO emotions is monumental crap. I know that it is popular amonst the "all things from the East are all things wise" community but the psych does not fly.
Just expressing DESIRE for a woman does NOT automatically lower her IL at all. It is HOW you show your desire that matters. AFC type fawning worship screams desperation but cool and manly passion sends quite a powerful and very different message. Same desire - different delivery.
It is not DESIRE that is the problem . How it is packaged and delivered is the essential point .

Your both right and this is what i have been trying to say all along.

The desire he made was way too high, imo.

He became:
To available
too predictable
To, 'yes', 'yes', to her requirements.
He virtually put his balls in her hands, for her to do what she wanted with.

His Interest Lever, i.e was way too high and this is what inevitably pushed her IL low, over the course of time, i think her IL was slowley built up, so she made herself available to him, but he became too 'available' back, made himself plyable and mallable to her 'requirements' i.e not a 'challange' or a 'mystery' he was simply 'available'.

The desire thing from Guru has a great application, if he approached this where by he seemed desierless and allowed her to keep 'chasing' the outcome of this whole interaction would have been alot different.

But he did not, he made himself predictable, available, removed the challange and broke down barriers where by he should have allowed her the honour of chipping down.

I think in this situation the girl has got what she wants and is infact most probably moving on, she has got 'him' and she 'knows it'.

I just think everything else is making excuses for her Low Interest Level, built on how ST*UP desire, killed the her Desire, you can see this in how STR8UP makes his first post about her.

Making excuses for her and passing her flaky behaviour off as well has excusing or rationilizing her actions and words, to make 'excuses' for her low IL or need for validation and attention, my past posts where to try to highlight, this is just a girl and not some golden puss*, so in that trying to communicate to STR8UP to not get so involved and full of desire on a girl who is not giving him the same signals, to step back and see the wood for the trees.

And i see this girls IL is not that high, but STR*UP's is in the Stratosphere, this is the problem, so yes he does need to eliminate desire at least lower it below her IL, she has the power and is holding all the cards at this moment in time and she knows it.

No offence STR8UP ment by the above, i too have had this recently, a girl i thought was hot, my desire hit the roof and in that i did too much too soon and chased her away instead of playing it cool and allowing her the chance to peel me like an onion, which women love to do, layer by layer and reward them each time, not become too available too 'yes' to maliable due to desire.

I have found you have to treat each new girl relationship, like your dating a fat ugly chick, get passed the 'looks' and start to see her for the 'person' she is, in that control your interest level until you start to become closer and then keep yours well below 'hers', ALWAYS.

this is the lesson you needed to learn here STR8UP, if you want my take on it, life is one big learning experiance.

 

[guru1000]

I am not setting out to be deliberately insulting here but this all sounds like Buddhist BS to me. The concept of having NO desire, NO expectations and NO emotions is monumental crap. I know that it is popular amonst the "all things from the East are all things wise" community but the psych does not fly.
Just expressing DESIRE for a woman does NOT automatically lower her IL at all. It is HOW you show your desire that matters. AFC type fawning worship screams desperation but cool and manly passion sends quite a powerful and very different message. Same desire - different delivery.
It is not DESIRE that is the problem . How it is packaged and delivered is the essential point .

First let us look at the definition of desire.

de·sire (d-zr)
tr.v. de·sired, de·sir·ing, de·sires
1. To wish or long for
2. To express a wish for; request.
n.
1. A wish or longing.
2. A request or petition.
3. The object of longing:.
4. To be in need of; require

"I desire this girl."

Does a DJ need, require, long or wish for one girl?

An AFC desires greatly . A DJ values or appreciates a woman's companionship but could care less if he doesn't get HER. Why doesn't he care? At the snap of a finger, he can have another. He is the PRIZE, not her. A PRIZE does not need, require , long or wish for 1 girl. He might for many, but would never truly give that amount of emotional intensity to only one. After a track record of good behavior( an LTR) he may. That is called LOVE.

If you need, require, long or wish for 1 girl after a date or two, you lost the battle. You put her on the pedestal. Does a man with many options, a DJ, care if a girl after a few dates flaked? Only if he needed, required, longed or wished for her.

I know this. When I have a harem of girls like I have now. I could care less about any of them. If one flakes, F*k Em'. I dont desire any of them. I value and appreciate them but I dont need, require, long or wish (desire) them.

One of them last night said to me" I didn't like you on the first date." I ask why. "Because you were too confident like your **** don't stink". LOL.

She was hot but I never needed, required , longed or wished for her. My actions with her were of complete confidence and not a pinch of desperation.
I appreciate her but I dont need her.

One of my plates 2 weeks ago stopped calling me. She called me every day. Out of the blue. POOF! No reason, no logic. Ask me, if I cared? I never desired her , only because I made a conscience effort not to. She slipped my mind the next day. 2 weeks later, tonight, she called. LOL.

When I was younger , in my early twenties I desired a LAMBORGINI and a MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. I worked SO HARD. I desired so GREATLY. I wanted so much for these material items to come to me. I stressed so greatly. I acted in sheer DESPERATION to make sure I did everything so right to achieve these STRONG DESIRES. It never came. One day I was tired of desiring and not achieving. My success was minimal. I said to myself , I DESIRE NOTHING. I will have my daily and monthly goals and act on them, but I don't DESIRE A SPECIFIC OUTCOME. POOF! My life changed, overnight. Why? I acted without hesitation, fear and desperation. Most important, I PUT FORTH ACTION WITHOUT CARING FOR THE OUTCOME.

Ok so what does that have to do with women?

When you require, long or wish for one girl, you create a frame of desperation. Does this attract or repel?

"I value but I don't need this girl. If she leaves tomorrow, have a nice day." DJ

"I want this girl. I desire her greatly . She is HOT. I need her! I long for her. I really hope it works out." AFC

When you eliminate requiring, longing or wishing for one girl, then you just eliminated desire.

 

[guru1000]

Your both right and this is what i have been trying to say all along.

The desire he made was way too high, imo.

He became:
To available
too predictable
To, 'yes', 'yes', to her requirements.
He virtually put his balls in her hands, for her to do what she wanted with.

His Interest Lever, i.e was way too high and this is what inevitably pushed her IL low, over the course of time, i think her IL was slowley built up, so she made herself available to him, but he became too 'available' back, made himself plyable and mallable to her 'requirements' i.e not a 'challange' or a 'mystery' he was simply 'available'.

The desire thing from Guru has a great application, if he approached this where by he seemed desierless and allowed her to keep 'chasing' the outcome of this whole interaction would have been alot different.

But he did not, he made himself predictable, available, removed the challange and broke down barriers where by he should have allowed her the honour of chipping down.

I think in this situation the girl has got what she wants and is infact most probably moving on, she has got 'him' and she 'knows it'.

I just think everything else is making excuses for her Low Interest Level, built on how ST*UP desire, killed the her Desire, you can see this in how STR8UP makes his first post about her.

Making excuses for her and passing her flaky behaviour off as well has excusing or rationilizing her actions and words, to make 'excuses' for her low IL or need for validation and attention, my past posts where to try to highlight, this is just a girl and not some golden puss*, so in that trying to communicate to STR8UP to not get so involved and full of desire on a girl who is not giving him the same signals, to step back and see the wood for the trees.

And i see this girls IL is not that high, but STR*UP's is in the Stratosphere, this is the problem, so yes he does need to eliminate desire at least lower it below her IL, she has the power and is holding all the cards at this moment in time and she knows it.

No offence STR8UP ment by the above, i too have had this recently, a girl i thought was hot, my desire hit the roof and in that i did too much too soon and chased her away instead of playing it cool and allowing her the chance to peel me like an onion, which women love to do, layer by layer and reward them each time, not become too available too 'yes' to maliable due to desire.

I have found you have to treat each new girl relationship, like your dating a fat ugly chick, get passed the 'looks' and start to see her for the 'person' she is, in that control your interest level until you start to become closer and then keep yours well below 'hers', ALWAYS.

this is the lesson you needed to learn here STR8UP, if you want my take on it, life is one big learning experiance.

ABSOLUTELY!!! You have a harem of women. They are all in check. Here comes the HOT ONE. "O i want her, i desire her. I need her. She is HOT". POOF! Where did she go? SH*T! I know better than that. Happens every time. DESIRE!

 

[betterthandead]

Str8up, please take a break from SOSuave, please seriously. All of your wild tales, womanizing stories seem to either be extremely exaggerated or you got this OCD complexion to prove yourself and SoSuave your worth.

 

[jonwon]

Str8up, please take a break from SOSuave, please seriously. All of your wild tales, womanizing stories seem to either be extremely exaggerated or you got this OCD complexion to prove yourself and SoSuave your worth.

This may seem like trolling but this too imo has a valid point, one i realized a while back, the hard way.

Take a step back and ask yourself:

Are you trying to impress random people on a forum, no offence ment by this but deep down, do you secretly desire it would turn out ok, just so you can put your achievement up for all of 'us' to see?

Sorry that will also stack against you, this does not then become about you, ie. 'yourself' your operating on pleasing 'others'.

I used to be like this with a few mates of mine, wanting to 'proved' something, when the only thing i needed to prove, was what the hell i wanted. It turns out anyway when you do actually get the results in the hope of showing your achievment, most people get resentful anyway, so trying to cater to other people is a pointless pursuit which will come and bite you back on the ars*, eventually, this rule i know almost fully.

Now, i think there could be an essence of you getting these girls so you can prove something to other people and the sad fact is, people really do not care past there own lives, or the will just become resentful, to the majourity of the rule.

Imagine if i posted i was fuc&ing girls always, some people would clap me on the back, but most would be:

She is probably ugly.
how can you pull.
Dam why can he pull and i cant, he sounds like a tosser.
Or they will try to find fault.

i.e resentment.

So pulling chicks especcially should NEVER EVER be done to please what others want or to try to IMPRESS, the only one to impress is yourself.

There is a small essence of that in these type of posts, it will and does come back to bite and really does not work in the interest level game, since tbh your simply stacking the cards in the womens favour.

You put too much in the end result and have to have a result to prove things to other people, i say FUC* them! unless there paying you a wage ofc.

Hence if it is apart of your interactions with girls for this forum of trying to 'prove' something, i would suggest, (if it is there) to get rid of it!

Dont try to please anyone but 'yourself' not me, not SS, not your mates unless they help you achieve 'your' goals and do not place theres at your feet and likewise for them.

 

[jophil28]

If you have been intimate with a chick that has displayed high interest, chances are that her IL will INCREASE when you aren't seen or heard for a period of time.

Why do you ( and some other guys) believe that this is a global truth? It is only true under certain circumstances.
When you talk about IL here you are really talking about an experience of loss. That is not necessarily interest per se., but rather a mourning or longing created by absence. A woman's real 'Interest Level' = Attraction plus Value plus Comfort. Unless you are perceived as a man who has Value (to her) and you have created an aura of safety and ease, then you will experience flakey and indecisive behavior from women.

 

[STR8UP]

First off, I did NOT display too much interest in this chick. I don't HAVE that much interest in her. My mistakes were in allowing her to set the frame and going along with it. Part of this has to do with VERY tight time constraints on my schedule. I can't just say, "Sorry, can't get together on Saturday, but lets make it Tuesday instead" Wish I had that luxury, but I don't. So unfortunately when she brought up the Saturday thing, it was ALREADY what I was going to propose to her, she just beat me to the punch. Then on Saturday I didn't "assume the sale" and gave her a big fat loophole.

I seriously, seriously doubt that my actions killed her interest to any measurable extent. It was either something like Keto brought up, or another guy she was WAITING around for (see my theme park story in a prior post). I have a feeling it's another guy. She's spinning plates, and I got pushed back, that's it.

And as for the impressing others thing.....we've been through this before.

I post here because psychology and sociology as it relates to women is my only hobby. Sad but true. My entire life is a case study where I analyze and learn. I post on this board because I have NO ONE else to bounce these ideas off of, and this board probably has some of the most concentrated knowledge in the world when it comes to this subject.

Last time someone brought something like this up I seriously considered limiting my posting, especially about my personal experiences, as i don't want it to come off as something it is not. Quite a few people came forward and said they actually enjoyed the entertainment value and did learn a thing or two, so I stuck around.

If I secretly desired all to come out ok, I wouldn't even post that something WASN'T ok to begin with. I lay it on the line. I might hold a LITTLE back, but for the most part this is the raw, uncensored truth. And discussions like this teach me about myself and about women.

It would seem that everyone is pretty wrapped up in this discussion to be saying that I should "lay off". I have learned things from this thread that I didn't know before I started it, due to the feedback from you all. If I come away from it .000001% a better person, I consider it to be worthwhile.

 

[guru1000]

First off, I did NOT display too much interest in this chick. I don't HAVE that much interest in her. My mistakes were in allowing her to set the frame and going along with it. Part of this has to do with VERY tight time constraints on my schedule. I can't just say, "Sorry, can't get together on Saturday, but lets make it Tuesday instead" Wish I had that luxury, but I don't. So unfortunately when she brought up the Saturday thing, it was ALREADY what I was going to propose to her, she just beat me to the punch. Then on Saturday I didn't "assume the sale" and gave her a big fat loophole.

I seriously, seriously doubt that my actions killed her interest to any measurable extent. It was either something like Keto brought up, or another guy she was WAITING around for (see my theme park story in a prior post). I have a feeling it's another guy. She's spinning plates, and I got pushed back, that's it.

And as for the impressing others thing.....we've been through this before.

I post here because psychology and sociology as it relates to women is my only hobby. Sad but true. My entire life is a case study where I analyze and learn. I post on this board because I have NO ONE else to bounce these ideas off of, and this board probably has some of the most concentrated knowledge in the world when it comes to this subject.

Last time someone brought something like this up I seriously considered limiting my posting, especially about my personal experiences, as i don't want it to come off as something it is not. Quite a few people came forward and said they actually enjoyed the entertainment value and did learn a thing or two, so I stuck around.

If I secretly desired all to come out ok, I wouldn't even post that something WASN'T ok to begin with. I lay it on the line. I might hold a LITTLE back, but for the most part this is the raw, uncensored truth. And discussions like this teach me about myself and about women.

It would seem that everyone is pretty wrapped up in this discussion to be saying that I should "lay off". I have learned things from this thread that I didn't know before I started it, due to the feedback from you all. If I come away from it .000001% a better person, I consider it to be worthwhile.

AGREED! Social dynamics is a very powerful tool. We ALL learn from each thread. Everyone has their own perspective and builds on it to be a more balanced mature MAN. The true definition of SUCCESS is to strive to grow emotionally, socially, spiritually, physiologically, intellectually and financially.
That is why we are here.

 

[STR8UP]

AGREED! Social dynamics is a very powerful tool. We ALL learn from each thread. Everyone has their own perspective and builds on it to be a more balanced mature MAN. The true definition of SUCCESS is to strive to grow emotionally, socially, spiritually, physiologically, intellectually and financially.
That is why we are here.

I don't know if I actually DO have a crazier life when it comes to women, or I'm the only one who brings it up, but I'm starting to feel like the oddball.

When I met up with Deep Dish the other night he made a comment about how crazy my interactions are. I told him that it didn't used to be that way. Only since I hit my 30's did all hell break loose. I've met SOOOO many people through my networks of friends and it keeps growing despite the fact that I have so little time to devote to my social life.

I also made a comment to him about how i need to find a way to make money off of this passion I have to understand social dynamics. I may not be an expert at anything in particular but I do have a good perspective on the subject thanks to this board.

Anyway, I feel like I have developed a much deeper understanding of things recently, and the only way I have been able to do this is through posting my own experiences and picking them apart to figure out the woman's motivations as well as those of my own.

Maybe I do need a break though. I'm probably long overdue. Maybe I can use that time to figure out a way to make money with this stuff.

 

[Tazman]

It would seem that everyone is pretty wrapped up in this discussion to be saying that I should "lay off". I have learned things from this thread that I didn't know before I started it, due to the feedback from you all. If I come away from it .000001% a better person, I consider it to be worthwhile.

I for one, do enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your honesty (percieved I guess). I love analyzing people's behavior and not just male/female sexual relationships, but people in general.

I'd also like to add that being sceptical of this woman's behavior is very appropriate given the information you've provided, your aren't overreacting/overanalyzing, you're simply limiting the chances of a woman who may be using you against your own best interests.

The only tool a woman can use "consistently" to create some sort of control over men is sex, this seems universal. Women can and do use it to their advantage, even if subconsciously. They are all capable of this, the more attractive they are the stronger the influence (versus your own self-esteem).

Some women will sink their hooks in you by teasing with the "possibility" of sex, some by actually having sex but under "negotiation", and some by simply rationing it out based on your "compliance".

This message board was born out of the negative experiences of men and we're all (atleast I am) trying to get things "ingrained" in us that will help us filter out women who aren't looking out for us.

We all have that inner voice (intuition) that tells us when some things just don't add up. Even if you end up being wrong, don't ever stop listening...

 

[jophil28]

Some women will sink their hooks in you by teasing with the "possibility" of sex, some by actually having sex but under "negotiation", and some by simply rationing it out based on your "compliance".


>>>> WHY ! WHY! oh WHY would any sane man EVER give time to a woman who pulls this shyte. Women who do this are not seeking a partner THEY are trying to take you hostage, and that is exactly what will happen if you continue to see her AFTER her MO is revealed.


We all have that inner voice (intuition) that tells us when some things just don't add up. Even if you end up being wrong, don't ever stop listening...

>>>> NICE !!!

Good advice on the board in the past few days !

 

[STR8UP]

I for one, do enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your honesty (percieved I guess). I love analyzing people's behavior and not just male/female sexual relationships, but people in general.

I appreciate the kind words.

And anyone who doubts what I write....I can assure you that it isn't in the least bit exaggerated. Of course I have no way to prove that, but lets just say that truth is sometimes stranger than fiction......

To be honest I hold some stuff back that I would like to post about cause I don't want it to sound like I'm telling stories or bragging or whatever.

Eh....it's the internet.

This message board was born out of the negative experiences of men and we're all (atleast I am) trying to get things "ingrained" in us that will help us filter out women who aren't looking out for us.

I think this board was born primarily out of frustration with women's actions. That's what it was for me anyway.

We all have that inner voice (intuition) that tells us when some things just don't add up. Even if you end up being wrong, don't ever stop listening...

I swear, I almost have a sixth sense for this sh!t by now. That's why I am pretty confident in my call here.