When Her Ex Still Follows Her on Social Media

[Smartone84]

Call me paranoid or call me smart, but after having a bad experience with a plate's ex coming back into the picture and her kicking me to the curb for him, I feel it's my duty as a person and as a man to protect myself the best I can.

I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and it's been going very well. Four dates. Great convo. Great kino. Sex probably happening on the 5th date. She told me she's already told her mother about me. She bought for me a pair of gloves on the 4th date after I told her I was cold the last time and didn't have any.

The first negative (and imo its a sort of a big one for me) is that she's a bit of an Instawh0re. She doesn't post every single day but when she does it's the typical garbage. Perfect poses, perfect shots, the attention grabbing photos we all know. Likes up the wazoo. Bikini photos, traveling photos, doing random stuff photos, you name it, it's on there. We follow each other.

The REAL negative issue though, is her ex, whom she broke up with in September 2019, who still follows her on instagram. Now, SHE does not follow him thankfully, but they are in fact friends on Facebook. Reason of breakup? He was "unfaithful".

#1- She tells me on our second date that he's reached out to her THIS PAST SUMMER trying to get back together, saying he made a mistake/is sorry, etc, but she wasn't interested.

#2 - The guy likes ALL SORTS OF HER PHOTOS on her instagram.

I don't know about everyone else but for me, everytime I've gone my separate ways with a plate, I cut them off of social media. It's just for the best. Now clearly she loves the attention I'm sure. What instawh0re doesn't? But when you're dating a new guy (me) is it really smart to still let ex's follow you on social media? Not to mention be friends on Facebook? And have them like your photos left and right? (fyi she still has one tagged pic of them together so i know who he is)

Bottom line these things just concern me. I'm curious how would all of you handle this? We all know the famous "High Score Theory" and I believe it to be 100% true. The last thing on Earth I'm up for is dating this girl for a couple of months, learning to like her a hell of a lot, then maybe she gets bored and ditches me to go back to him and I'm left f-cked over and hurt.

She's told me she is 100% looking for a LTR at this point and how she's been hurt in the past a lot, yada yada yada, but as convincing as she may seem, this ex bf situation makes me very nervous and I wouldn't put anything past a chick in this day and age.

 

[bcude]

Bottom line these things just concern me. I'm curious how would all of you handle this? We all know the famous "High Score Theory" and I believe it to be 100% true. The last thing on Earth I'm up for is dating this girl for a couple of months, learning to like her a hell of a lot, then maybe she gets bored and ditches me to go back to him and I'm left f-cked over and hurt.

This can only be a problem for you if you care about this woman and see something serious with her down the line. That's your real problem here.
She isn't long term gf material. So if you want to protect yourself, don't get emotionally involved.

Meet her, bang her, have fun. Rince and repeat.

Kind of simple.

ps. i would also unfollow her on IG, you don't want to be framed as another orbiter. The way you stand out is by not validating these instawh0res. Let her ex do that while she's looking for your validation inside of your pants.
When she asks why you unfollowed, I would just say. "because IG bores me" and then i would think of Dave Chappelle as Prince playing basketball in Charlie Murphy's hollywood stories and chuckle on the inside.

 

[Smartone84]

Bang the sh1t out of her while you still can because she's not ltr material, don't get feels for her. She's purposely have him in the picture, if she didn't she would blocked him when they broke up. Also having a pic with him still, thats a deal breaker for me. You're gut is telling you that you can't trust her and that something is fishy and remember the moment you start tracking her activity on social media, it's over.

Well it should be noted that the pic she has is a TAGGED pic so its not a pic on her actual Instagram.

That being said, so you say she purposely has him in the picture. Yes I know that, but the reason is why?

1- to get attention and the rush when he likes her photos or 2- Bc he may still legit be in her orbit

Both are bad but the latter is an instant dealbreaker for me

This can only be a problem for you if you care about this woman and see something serious with her down the line. That's your real problem here.
She isn't long term gf material. So if you want to protect yourself, don't get emotionally involved.

Well we have had four very nice dates so far and I'm pretty sure i'll be banging her on the fifth. She's also invited me over her place after the last date and we talked for several hours. It was great. She's told me many times how she wants something serious, etc. She also bought me a pair of gloves after I told her I was cold on the 3rd date. Seems like she's really into it , idk.

Would just be hard to believe if I'm really a flat out basic orbiter in her mind.

 

[bcude]

Well it should be noted that the pic she has is a TAGGED pic so its not a pic on her actual Instagram.

That being said, so you say she purposely has him in the picture. Yes I know that, but the reason is why?

1- to get attention and the rush when he likes her photos or 2- Bc he may still legit be in her orbit

Both are bad but the latter is an instant dealbreaker for me

Because it's the biggest ego stroke ever to have an ex follow AND like your pictures, especially as a girl living for attention and validation on IG.
She loves it.
He was also unfaithful, which means she probably still sees him as attractive and her respect for him is intact. Infidelity and the consequences are abit different for men and woman. A woman does never forgive weakness, but she might forgive boldness and acting out of line if you're a man in demand and is unapologetic about it.

Well we have had four very nice dates so far and I'm pretty sure i'll be banging her on the fifth. She's also invited me over her place after the last date and we talked for several hours. It was great. She's told me many times how she wants something serious, etc. She also bought me a pair of gloves after I told her I was cold on the 3rd date. Seems like she's really into it , idk.

Would just be hard to believe if I'm really a flat out basic orbiter in her mind.

You still have nothing to gain from following her.

 

[Smartone84]

He was also unfaithful, which means she probably still sees him as attractive and her respect for him is intact.

Am I the only one who sees this as a completely a$$ backwards statement?

You still have nothing to gain from following her.

Well can you elaborate on that? So you think it's just flat out over and a lost cause because she still allows this guy to follow her on IG?

but she might forgive boldness and acting out of line if you're a man in demand and is unapologetic about it.

She told me flat out she rejected his rekindle attempt.

 

[bcude]

Am I the only one who sees this as a completely a$$ backwards statement?

You've bad boys cheating on their gf's left and right but they still would take them back in a heartbeat.
Then you've the common scenario where the guy becomes too soft and accomodating and shows no self-respect. Women are delighted to get rid of such a specimen and would never give them a second thought. First man still portrays strength and is attractive in his failure since he's unapologetic about being a man in demand. Second man portrays bad genetics. She might not like it but she can't help but be biologically wired to respond to the first man.

Anyway, my first comment still stands. Why even care about that. She's not your gf.

Well can you elaborate on that? So you think it's just flat out over and a lost cause because she still allows this guy to follow her on IG?

No, i was just merely suggesting a more attractive route to take generally speaking.

 

[JST8828]

Call me paranoid or call me smart, but after having a bad experience with a plate's ex coming back into the picture and her kicking me to the curb for him, I feel it's my duty as a person and as a man to protect myself the best I can.

I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and it's been going very well. Four dates. Great convo. Great kino. Sex probably happening on the 5th date. She told me she's already told her mother about me. She bought for me a pair of gloves on the 4th date after I told her I was cold the last time and didn't have any.

The first negative (and imo its a sort of a big one for me) is that she's a bit of an Instawh0re. She doesn't post every single day but when she does it's the typical garbage. Perfect poses, perfect shots, the attention grabbing photos we all know. Likes up the wazoo. Bikini photos, traveling photos, doing random stuff photos, you name it, it's on there. We follow each other.

The REAL negative issue though, is her ex, whom she broke up with in September 2019, who still follows her on instagram. Now, SHE does not follow him thankfully, but they are in fact friends on Facebook. Reason of breakup? He was "unfaithful".

#1- She tells me on our second date that he's reached out to her THIS PAST SUMMER trying to get back together, saying he made a mistake/is sorry, etc, but she wasn't interested.

#2 - The guy likes ALL SORTS OF HER PHOTOS on her instagram.

I don't know about everyone else but for me, everytime I've gone my separate ways with a plate, I cut them off of social media. It's just for the best. Now clearly she loves the attention I'm sure. What instawh0re doesn't? But when you're dating a new guy (me) is it really smart to still let ex's follow you on social media? Not to mention be friends on Facebook? And have them like your photos left and right? (fyi she still has one tagged pic of them together so i know who he is)

Bottom line these things just concern me. I'm curious how would all of you handle this? We all know the famous "High Score Theory" and I believe it to be 100% true. The last thing on Earth I'm up for is dating this girl for a couple of months, learning to like her a hell of a lot, then maybe she gets bored and ditches me to go back to him and I'm left f-cked over and hurt.

She's told me she is 100% looking for a LTR at this point and how she's been hurt in the past a lot, yada yada yada, but as convincing as she may seem, this ex bf situation makes me very nervous and I wouldn't put anything past a chick in this day and age.

I don't care how well the first few dates went or what she's said. You must proceed with caution. Clearly she's not completely done with this guy and if you think he hasn't tried texting her again since "the summer" you are wrong. Chances are he's texting her right now telling her how hot she looks in the last pic she posted. Wouldn't even matter if she isn't responding. Just the fact that she'd accept that type of attention is grounds for making her only good for a f-ck and thats it.

You said she brought up these details about the ex to you, ok so talking about him is not that weird. What I would do is ask her flat out. Put her on the spot. Ask if she still talks to him. Gage her response. If she gives any indication that he's still sliding into her DM's or texting her I would next her instantly after the date. These are the types of chicks (not saying she's definitely one, but it's def possible) who can be dangerous. They might THINK they want a relationship but what they really crave is attention in all forms.

 

[derby1]

Am I the only one who sees this as a completely a$$ backwards statement?

women are backwards thinkers, they pine more for things that would send you the other way.

look on Social media, when does a woman ever write a status about how nice her chap is.......... NEVER.

they write essays about men who deem them unworthy. Their group chats and brunch topics, are about guys who messed them about!

i know a guy who cheats so well, the women try to requalify themselves.

Most men would send her a video of him apologising & singing BOYz II Men.

Not this guy

 

[Smartone84]

OP? You are going to get your arse kicked.

Huh?

 

[Smartone84]

You are in an untenable condition. It’s a no-win.

Because an ex follows her and likes her posts on social media? It's a bit of a red flag that she hasn't deleted him, sure, but to think it's a complete "no win" situation I have a hard time believing.

 

[Smartone84]

I understand completely. I do highly recommend that you continue what you are doing. It’s important that a man see things for himself. In fact I think all men should do this. It’s important.

Pretty sure your passive aggressive/snobby comments aren't what these forums were created for. And what happens if things work out with this chick? Can I come back and call your bluff?

 

[Stoic]

Honestly, theres not much you can do aside from not showing any sign of being threatened or insecure about the other guy. Any sign from you that you are overly concerned about the other guy will make you look weak in her eyes.

If it were me, I'm saying nothing, doing nothing about the other guy.

 

[Smartone84]

Honestly, theres not much you can do aside from not showing any sign of being threatened or insecure about the other guy. Any sign from you that you are overly concerned about the other guy will make you look weak in her eyes.

If it were me, I'm saying nothing, doing nothing about the other guy.

Easier said than done. When does something give? Theoretically speaking with any chick if you're let's say 2 in and things are starting to turn serious and you see her ex boyfriend who she TOLD you just tried getting her back a few months earlier liking her hot pics on social media left and right- that's a problem imo. As an adult woman especially at that point involved with a new guy you'd think she'd be smart enough to just delete his a$$

 

[Stoic]

Easier said than done. When does something give? Theoretically speaking with any chick if you're let's say 2 in and things are starting to turn serious and you see her ex boyfriend who she TOLD you just tried getting her back a few months earlier liking her hot pics on social media left and right- that's a problem imo. As an adult woman especially at that point involved with a new guy you'd think she'd be smart enough to just delete his a$$

But you guys aren't serious yet.

Did I miss it? No sex yet right?

Also, shes not responding to him in any way right? I wouldn't sweat it that she hasn't deleted him.

If she asks you for exclusivity down the line, that would maybe be the time to bring it up.

 

[Smartone84]

If she asks you for exclusivity down the line, that would maybe be the time to bring it up.

Fair. No guarantee she'll ask for that though. Might have to be my job. Would still feel like a stalker even then. I just wish she did the right thing and had deleted him already, in general, regardless of if me or any other new guy was in the picture. I delete all my ex's from social media.

 

[Stoic]

Fair. No guarantee she'll ask for that though. Might have to be my job. Would still feel like a stalker even then. I just wish she did the right thing and had deleted him already, in general, regardless of if me or any other new guy was in the picture. I delete all my ex's from social media.

Men dont ask women for exclusivity. She needs to bring it up if you guys get that far.

 

[Smartone84]

It’s not passive or agressive in any way. I was very sincere. Very. Men don’t grow without experience.
You guys are trying to solve women. It’s already solved. They have a dualistic sexual biological strategy. You can’t remove it like an appendix or a wart. You can’t evolve a man enough for her to suddenly cause a mutation in her hardware programming and make them “love” you or anything beyond their children and family.

If you think it’s a bluff, then go with that. You have to learn somehow. Might as well be with this one.

If you're not being passive aggressive you're definitely acting like a know it all who is also basically saying that I don't know jack sh-t about women. Your implication is that simply bc this chick's ex follows her on social media and likes her photos is an absolute good enough reason to abort any form of a LTR pursuit with her. Perhaps instead of you telling me i'm going to get my a$$ kicked in this and that I "have to learn somehow" you actually, you know, explain your thoughts

 

[Blacksheep]

Call me paranoid or call me smart, but after having a bad experience with a plate's ex coming back into the picture and her kicking me to the curb for him, I feel it's my duty as a person and as a man to protect myself the best I can.

I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and it's been going very well. Four dates. Great convo. Great kino. Sex probably happening on the 5th date. She told me she's already told her mother about me. She bought for me a pair of gloves on the 4th date after I told her I was cold the last time and didn't have any.

The first negative (and imo its a sort of a big one for me) is that she's a bit of an Instawh0re. She doesn't post every single day but when she does it's the typical garbage. Perfect poses, perfect shots, the attention grabbing photos we all know. Likes up the wazoo. Bikini photos, traveling photos, doing random stuff photos, you name it, it's on there. We follow each other.

The REAL negative issue though, is her ex, whom she broke up with in September 2019, who still follows her on instagram. Now, SHE does not follow him thankfully, but they are in fact friends on Facebook. Reason of breakup? He was "unfaithful".

#1- She tells me on our second date that he's reached out to her THIS PAST SUMMER trying to get back together, saying he made a mistake/is sorry, etc, but she wasn't interested.

#2 - The guy likes ALL SORTS OF HER PHOTOS on her instagram.

I don't know about everyone else but for me, everytime I've gone my separate ways with a plate, I cut them off of social media. It's just for the best. Now clearly she loves the attention I'm sure. What instawh0re doesn't? But when you're dating a new guy (me) is it really smart to still let ex's follow you on social media? Not to mention be friends on Facebook? And have them like your photos left and right? (fyi she still has one tagged pic of them together so i know who he is)

Bottom line these things just concern me. I'm curious how would all of you handle this? We all know the famous "High Score Theory" and I believe it to be 100% true. The last thing on Earth I'm up for is dating this girl for a couple of months, learning to like her a hell of a lot, then maybe she gets bored and ditches me to go back to him and I'm left f-cked over and hurt.

She's told me she is 100% looking for a LTR at this point and how she's been hurt in the past a lot, yada yada yada, but as convincing as she may seem, this ex bf situation makes me very nervous and I wouldn't put anything past a chick in this day and age.

She is looking for a LTR but still keeps her ex on her Instagram? Thats a good way to show that.

She probably still has feelings for him, and dating another guy is like a showcase to try to hurt that ex bf.

My advice is to stop dating this girl. If you start to create feelings for her you're gonna be hurt by this.

Just leave while its soon.

 

[Smartone84]

She is looking for a LTR but still keeps her ex on her Instagram? Thats a good way to show that.

I agree, it's not a good look, and she should be old enough (30) to know that in this day and age of social media that I know exactly who he is. Especially since a tagged pic of her still exists with him.

 

[Blacksheep]

I agree, it's not a good look, and she should be old enough (30) to know that in this day and age of social media that I know exactly who he is. Especially since a tagged pic of her still exists with him.

She knows about that, and I think she is not silly... She is doing that on purpose.

The real thing you have to keep in mind is: while you're losing your time with such a woman, there could be another woman out there that would be way better and mature than an old 30yrs old chick who still loves her ex.

Believe me when I tell you this... I waste too many time of my life with stupid women. It's a time that I know it will never go back.