When Her Ex Still Follows Her on Social Media

[Blacksheep]

The real issue is the insta*****, not the ex who is a symptom

I couldn't agree more.

Learned that with bad experiences.

For a LTR, not having Instagram is the first principle for me to think about starting a relationship. This social media stuff is messing with people's mind.

 

[Smartone84]

I'm more middle of the road on it. Attractive women WILL want to show off. The question is whether it's in moderation and done tastefully or not.

I'll also add, the biggest thots I know have very chaste social media bc they have controlling boyfriends or bc they want to present a certain image that isn't true.

I don't know how much it means or how much it "helps" her case, but she's not out of control on it to the point of daily posts or endless stories each day. She posts a photo i'd say on average of once every 2 weeks. But that being said it still doesn't change the fact that her IG is still loaded with all sorts of hot attention seeking photos with all the perfect poses/captions, likes up the wazoo, etc, you know the deal.

The account is also public so it's obvious she WANTS to be seen as well. She even told me flat out how guys creep into her DM's on occasion and she finds it "weird" (AKA she loves every one of them)

Just a shame bc she's a really nice/cool chick in general.

 

[derby1]

Just seems like everyone has at least one deal breaker these days

have you seen womens figures? i was watching some 70s movie footage locally filmed, and every woman had a curvy fertile figure around a size 6! .......it was totally normal and no big deal.

these days a woman only needs healthy blood pressure and shes a QUEEEEEEENN

 

[derby1]

The account is also public so it's obvious she WANTS to be seen as well. She even told me flat out how guys creep into her DM's on occasion and she finds it "weird" (AKA she loves every one of them)

does she speak well of her dad

 

[Smartone84]

does she speak well of her dad

Didn't really get into details. She only told me that she's closer with her Mother rather than her Father but that's about it.

 

[derby1]

Didn't really get into details. She only told me that she's closer with her Mother rather than her Father but that's about it.

we have an epidemic out here of fatherless or weak fathered girls, you dont want to date one, they need constant male validation, for which they are experts at achieving whilst playing the princess/victim.

losing one of their orbiters sends them into a complete meltdown, theyve probably never met the guy but this is the way they think/behave

 

[Mazer]

Treat her as a plate, nothing more and please be dating/sleeping with other women. I fear from your post, you are headed down a path you are not going to necessarily enjoy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are putting the cart before the horse with her and worrying about things you don't need to be.
First of all, the last girl was a plate. Those drop off on their own every few months anyway. People who expect plates to stick around forever are simply delusional. They aren't your GF, and there is a reason they aren't. Accept the situation for what it is.

Second of all you haven't even had sex with this new woman and have only been on 4 dates. Why are you already thinking about a long term relationship? What has she done to earn this other than showing you some form of interest. Furthermore your job isn't to worry about a relationship its to have fun and create opportunities for sex to happen and then make them happen.

To me this simply says you have no options and you go for the first woman to show any interest in you like a little puppy dog in the store window going crazy for anyone who stops to look at them hoping they take them home.

Keep dating other women and make this woman earn her place as your girlfriend if that is what happens. You giving this status away so easily is what is getting you kicked to the curb more likely than anything else. That which is easily available has little value.

 

[Smartone84]

You are putting the cart before the horse with her and worrying about things you don't need to be.

Look I get that she's just a plate but you need to understand I've been hurt/f-d over in the past and I'm simply being cautious. The chick told me flat out that the ex reached out and tried getting back with her this past summer. I think any normal guy would be a bit concerned if he came across seeing said ex liking every single photo of the girl he's been putting time, money and effort into the last month and is about to bang. Not only that, I know this isn't exactly viewed as acceptable around here, but we've both talked a bit at this point about how we are definitely looking for LTR's. I'm 36. She's 30. I promise you I'm trying to spin other plates still, but i'd be lying if i didnt say she is up top right now and has much more of the focus.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Look I get that she's just a plate but you need to understand I've been hurt/f-d over in the past and I'm simply being cautious. The chick told me flat out that the ex reached out and tried getting back with her this past summer. I think any normal guy would be a bit concerned if he came across seeing said ex liking every single photo of the girl he's been putting time, money and effort into the last month and is about to bang. Not only that, I know this isn't exactly viewed as acceptable around here, but we've both talked a bit at this point about how we are definitely looking for LTR's. I'm 36. She's 30. I promise you I'm trying to spin other plates still, but i'd be lying if i didnt say she is up top right now and has much more of the focus.

Well...all I can say that until you embrace a mindshift with women you are going to continue to be hurt and f'd over because you are taking the woman's role and seeking LTR's when you should be letting her take that role and simply be worried about creating fun and opportunities for sex. The crazy part is you arr actually HURTING your chances to get what you want by acting like this even though you are showing her that is what you want.

I've been there...I understand what you are saying but believe me, women WANT you to be a challenge and be tough to lock down and get into a relationship. They want to have to work hard to get you. That is part of how you get them to fall in love with you. All that time they spend thinking of you and their uncertainty of things when they are away from you ends up creating obsessive levels of attraction. The more time a woman spends thinking about you the less time they can spend thinking of someone else and eventually they start feeling like they must be falling in love with you if they can't stop thinking about you.

No woman wants to know how the movie ends 5 minutes in...it kills their excitement of finding out and riding the roller coaster of emotions with all twists and turns. Part of your job as a man is to provide that for them and you do this letting them be a little bit unsure...you plant seeds of doubt and let her water them. Over and over again research shows that women are much more attracted to men they are unsure about how they feel towards them.

Right now you are in danger of becoming that.

 

[Smartone84]

I've been there...I understand what you are saying but believe me, women WANT you to be a challenge and be tough to lock down and get into a relationship. They want to have to work hard to get you. That is part of how you get them to fall in love with you. All that time they spend thinking of you and their uncertainty of things when they are away from you ends up creating obsessive levels of attraction. The more time a woman spends thinking about you the less time they can spend thinking of someone else and eventually they start feeling like they must be falling in love with you if they can't stop thinking about you.

No woman wants to know how the movie ends 5 minutes in...it kills their excitement of finding out and riding the roller coaster of emotions with all twists and turns. Part of your job as a man is to provide that for them and you do this letting them be a little bit unsure...you plant seeds of doubt and let her water them. Over and over again research shows that women are much more attracted to men they are unsure about how they feel towards them.

Right now you are in danger of becoming that.

I get what you're saying and you're right but it has nothing to do with the main topic of this thread

 

[bcude]

Well...all I can say that until you embrace a mindshift with women you are going to continue to be hurt and f'd over because you are taking the woman's role and seeking LTR's when you should be letting her take that role and simply be worried about creating fun and opportunities for sex. The crazy part is you arr actually HURTING your chances to get what you want by acting like this even though you are showing her that is what you want.

I've been there...I understand what you are saying but believe me, women WANT you to be a challenge and be tough to lock down and get into a relationship. They want to have to work hard to get you. That is part of how you get them to fall in love with you. All that time they spend thinking of you and their uncertainty of things when they are away from you ends up creating obsessive levels of attraction. The more time a woman spends thinking about you the less time they can spend thinking of someone else and eventually they start feeling like they must be falling in love with you if they can't stop thinking about you.

No woman wants to know how the movie ends 5 minutes in...it kills their excitement of finding out and riding the roller coaster of emotions with all twists and turns. Part of your job as a man is to provide that for them and you do this letting them be a little bit unsure...you plant seeds of doubt and let her water them. Over and over again research shows that women are much more attracted to men they are unsure about how they feel towards them.

Right now you are in danger of becoming that.

Very well put.

I get what you're saying and you're right but it has nothing to do with the main topic of this thread

No, you're either not getting what he's saying or you're not ready to take the information in. It has everything to do with the topic of this thread.
Your MINDSET is not where it should be, you're concerning yourself with things that shouldn't be of concern. You're not exclusive with this woman and you haven't even had sex for crying out loud, but here you are falling into the feminine role of overthinking what could potentially happen in the future and bring up the serious talk. You're so afraid of going down the wrong path that it ironically leads you exactly down that path.
Agony and misery, for you.
And all this female energy will eventually turn her off. A woman ultimately needs masculine polarity, not another female hamster.

Start by calling her, set up a date and push to bang her. Then you ask yourself if you want to bang her again, or not. Keep doing that until she pushes to be exclusive with you and THEN you lay down your expectations for her. You tell her exactly how you see a relationship, regarding the ex etc. and she either agrees or she's not worth giving up your commitment to. That's how you properly do it. You remain a challenge and you set a prize for your commitment.

However, as i and many others tried to tell you already. Her instagram tendencies tell us she's not someone to commit to. The 'for sale' sign is constantly at display and she lives on male attention because of narcissistic tendencies, insecurity and/or daddy issues. It will just be a ticking bomb and a relationship full of agony for you. It's not like you can change a 30 year old woman.