When did you notice you physically change cause of your age?

[jonnnb]

Im a 35yo guy in the uk. Ive been writing this off and on for the last week. Looong post/s lol. i did try to proofread;-)

Aging physical

- skin cuts take twice to thrice as long to heal. The ‘heal’ is less perfect more noticeable.
- I first started noticing my skin aging at 28. Occasionally about twice a year for the next 5 yrs, Id look for and be disorientated. Id not recognise it immediately as my body. As I could see the wornness of the skin . It is only in the last 2yrs that this effect hasn’t happened, I guess the brain has now adjusted to not seeing marble-smooth, tautlike skin
- skin looks like scales on hands and feet, can see pores on my face. When I look at people under 25yo
- Skin sag on face , it is not like staying in bath for too long when you are young. It is like being paralysed i would imagine.

Energy

My energy levels have dropped, I feel the weight of my body. Im very slender build too
- The music of my youth was 1991to1995 – extremely fast music 140 to230 bpm rave, hardcore rave, jungle etc. You dance to this music like an aerobic exercise class, you can see how we danced on youtube for further ref. I was able to dance all night full intensity on the beat nonstop at 19. without drugs and feel only slightly tired.
- Now I dance using latineqsue dance steps, to conserve energy and protect my body. Im still slender build how dancing now feels when I was 19 trying to dance with someone on my back. The legs and particularly the knees feel so heavy. The impact of the floor is really felt in the knees like shockaborbers have gone on a car.
- I am moderately active a very fit 35yo probably feels different. However my normal energy levels throughout the day now are similar to the energy levels in the first 20mins after Id woken up when I was 19.

The Brain
I feel emotion more strongly.
It feels as if the brain has stored all the memories associated with happiness in one area, sadness in another, anger in yet another etc. So when the emotions triggers it feels like it is causing a cascade, a domino effect triggering of all the memories about that emotion causing a deluge of emotion. Resulting in really strong deep emotions.
When i was young, i would watch adults laugh uproariously, almost manically at the most mildest of things on Tv. I feel i understand why they did now.




When i was in my teens and 20s. I noticed that men over 30 seemed ;

1. callous, almost psychopathic to me. they had limited empathy for others.
2. women didn’t seem to matter as such, to move these men like it did us youths

I too, have underdone the ‘Great Change’
I am in these respects, now like the men I observed.
Ive reflected on this difference,

1.
"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." -
-- Winston Churchill
http://www.quotedb.com/quotes/1358 .


Not only is this a consequence of experiencing life and seeing how simplistic binary theories about life crumb before the irrational spirit of humanity. I feel from experience and my own observation, that this is also a process of physical maturation in the brain of a mature man.
The callous, almost psychopathic to me behaviour I noticed in older men when I was in my teens and 20s. I now experience. Things have once cause empathy and sympathy to flow free in me, Im consciously aware and sometimes even startled by my lack of subconscious reaction.
The circuitries for empathy and sympathy are now greatly degraded. (one of the circuits that cause empathy in the brain are called ‘mirror neurons ’men apparently fire less frequently than women’s in the average.)


So, whereas before i was unable to turn off my empathy, sympathy . now i can turn it off at will if it is engaged at all. the ability to disconnect from others seemed to grow as i aged. The dead Old men’s eyes I now have.
In youth my it was hard for me to hit a human. I saw them as a reflection of myself – that’s how drippy, flowerpowery I was lol
Now most of the time I look at a human, they are like a soulless robot, a box that can speak. Hitting a human now, is no more morally difficult than hitting a table. ive became battle-hardened.
peoples opinion have become a peripheral concern


So, whereas before i was unable to turn off my empathy, sympathy . now i can turn it off at will if it is engaged at all. the ability to disconnect from others seemed to grow as i aged. The dead Old men’s eyes I now have.
In youth my it was hard for me to hit a human. I saw them as a reflection of myself – that’s how drippy, flowerpowery I was lol
Now most of the time I look at a human, they are like a soulless robot, a box that can speak. Hitting a human now, is no more morally difficult than hitting a table. ive became battle-hardened.
peoples opinion have become a peripheral concern

---​

2.
In my teens and 20s in common with other men I knew. Studying, going out and women were the centre of solar system.
Now at 35, going out and especially women are at the periphery, in the outer rings of the solar system



It seems we humans have a breeding season, it last for about 20yrs.
Women seem to experience a similar drop – I think that is what explains the PUA culture meme that a ‘woman only has so such bonding chemical in her, and to have many men reduces her ability to her’. I disagree a say that it is broadly the same biological process that we men experience through in our thirties. I suspect a female virgin, or a woman who has only had one partner by her 30s to experience the similar reduction in bonding ability to men, as women with higher number of partners



I still have the constant subconscious instinct to ffuucck a woman, whether internally generated or externally generated by the form of a woman. However that I now rarely feel the instinct to bond with a woman, create children and life with a woman.
The bonding circuitry, the Drug-of-Love has turned off. The Drug-of-Love that told me to subconsciously to see women not as they are - but as goddesses, as the most beautiful beings in creation, to have that most thirstful yearning for them. (Nature is feeding us some good sshhiitt, to get us to breed with women lololol.)




Due to the change in the brain and experience with women.
It is easy to ignore my attraction a woman now.
So now I am able to easily dismiss a women’s charms. For the first time In their life what always worked in getting their way from het men no longer works.
It is quite fun to return an impassive gaze even if im aroused by them to het women. Even if they are younger, and see their confusion as to why Im not jumping to their Pavlovian bell


Without the bonding circuitry firing off in my head. I can easily control the sex drive circuitry - Like blowing out a match, whereas in my twenties my attraction to women was like riding a wild unbroken horse in a rodeo trying to buck me off. The twin forces of these powerful subconscious circuits, instincts, were whispering to me constantly, ‘have sex. Find mate to build a home with, to have children with, to adore them, to love them’ were overwhelming. Ladies reading it is why young men behave the way they do. It is similar to have a song you hate stuck in your head, that’s how strong, how constant and prominent it is in our conscious minds. if you want to imagine what it’s like. However the song for us, good


The breeding season is over. And I know a New Dawn. And I see het women as they truly are –Ordinary.

.

 

[jonnnb]

What do we older adults do now we dont ‘go out’:

when i was 19, I once asked a woman in her 30s what she did instead of clubbing . she replied, ' you find something else to do'. she never elaborated, but it's true.

what happened to me:

at 25, i started to notice people between 18 to 22 started looking like they were 15/16 - their skin had an extra polish of newness(like you if you are 19yo, would notice when you look at a 15yr olds face). i was with my friends of my age, it was a student night. i looked at a friend after we both looked at the dancefloor and i knew, we felt the same thing. an instant revulsion, like we didnt belong here (rather like if you were to enter a 13 to 18yr disco). we were no longer the young, new 'stars of the stage' had arrived. our time was over. we were now the audience

i remember watching the tv prog 'queer as folk', the final episode had the two male leads in their late 20s looking at everyone in their local nightclub. the fresh youth of the other clubbers was apparent. and then the leads looked at each other after, with one saying paraphrasing, ' too many kids'. so it appears to be a common feeling around 25 to 28, to fell that 'we were no longer the young, new 'stars of the stage' had arrived. our time was over. we were now the audience'. the new thing was in town and we werent it. quite a shock at first. now , afte a period of adjustment (yrs), i am the dispassionate audience when at nightclubs. the stars on the stage arent my rivals, they are the young from a completely different generation.


plus at 25, the music scenes of my day (rave&house) had started to tire and die. you can tell when a scene is dying:
- when you know where the chord progression in a new song is going before you hear it.
- the rhythm(bass and drum patterns) and melodies sound stale and overused

so i stopped going out.
up until that point, music, going out had been the centre of my life my universe.
there was a gaping massive hole in how i connected with and enjoyed life.
what i found was, the space came to be occupied by other interests. other interests either preexisting or they start to develop. the other interests start to expand like a balloon being blown. soon those interests were the center of my life. in my case, playing the piano for a time, listening to speech radio - love speech radio. Mental yoga. Being a custodian of social history and customs(yeah young people, i would have vomited at your age lolol). However my interest in history has deepened, and now as a ‘junior elder’ of the ‘tribe. I feel and welcome the responsibility to mentor, to share my knowledge of customs, my experience of life to young men amd women. It gives my life rich meaning that my experiences will not go to waste, that they can help someone else as they learn about life






Difference between my mental state at 21 and now, 35:




i spent my late teens in a state of wonder about the newly discovered adulthood. a new delight around every corner. being allowed to go out at night, entering a nightclub!!!, entering a pub.
my 20s undoing the programming that parents and society fills the mind with, about how im supposed to behave, feel, do etc.

i prefer being in my 30s, the sense of self and its direction in the world is amazing. it grew more and more from the late 20s. now it is mountainstrong.
Of understanding what the adult world is. The growth of my own moral, interpersonal and work compass. of what the world is, and how to function in the world. much better than the uncertainty in any form about the world, i had in my 20s.
that inner certainty, that inner understanding, the increasing belief in yr core social/moral/personal values , the confidence about the world just grew and grew and grew to be a redwood. lol.

---​

What I found was that the difference, the gap in the understanding , perception and appreciation of life between 21 and 35yo , is as great as the gap between 10 and 21yo.

At 10 my world was centred around toys + studying
In my late teens and 20s, it centred around women, going out +studying
Now in my 30s, women are now on the outer limits of my solar system. My world is centered on power – external power of controlling people for most people, internal ie.meditational biofeedback for me. (Most people have children and their world revolves around them from observation. I don’t have children.)


In common with others my age, Ive found that life in my mid30s, is alot more preferable to that of my late teens and 20s.
for me,my late teens and 20s.was like being a novice sailor in the 18th c british navy. Or arriving at high school the first day trying to learn the layout of the school, the teachers etc
my 30s, especially from 33, like being a clearsighted, battlehardened veteran sailor, having sailed and experienced all condition, all climates, all oceans. Or like having now been at high school for months and knowing the layout of the school, the teachers etc, like the back of my hand

---​

Life only gets better – for men. I dont know about het women, they don’t seem to happy after 30.


Im curious if the others including women broadly agree with my observations (im a 35yo british man in the uk for more context).

Also, men in their 50s, from here it looks the life experience and understanding seems to flatten after 35ish. That there isn’t that great gap of life understanding. As there is between the average 10 and 21yo, and the average 21 and 35yo.

Did you find that to be the case?

 

[Reyaj]

Bump

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Lol at these guys who are 30 and say they feel great.

Aging affects people differently, but basically the body isn't quite as resilient as it used to be. It won't heal quite as quickly, the joints will ache if they take too much pounding or overuse. The reflexes aren't quite as fast. That's why you don't see 50 year old football players. Sometimes I have trouble finding the energy to do all the things I want to, that's probably what bugs me the most.

http://espn.go.com/espn/commentary/...vick-inviting-brett-favre-philadelphia-eagles

Brett and I disagree with your assessment.

 

[zekko]

Brett and I disagree with your assessment.

Brett's nowhere near 50, he's younger than you are. But I won't argue with you, football's Iron Man needs all the support he can get, he's lost a lot of popularity recently.

I haven't been reading this thread lately, it's taken an interesting turn.
As a guy who's almost 51, I hate to say it, but I do feel myself slowing down, especially over this past year.

 

[Zarky]

I noticed a change in my early 30s. Eyesight way worse, small injuries take longer to heal, skin problems, rapidly thinning hair, no longer able to learn stuff as quickly, etc. etc.

 

[Maeisgood]

The very first change when puberty is over, and a steep decline was when I was 23 and I noticed the budding crowsfeet in the corners of my eyes and and um "maturing hairline."

But take heart friends, males gain "dignity" and "prestige" with time, while women lose sexual value! Men age like land real estate, women physically lose it, like fresh fish or a brand new car.

According to Socrates or someone, a woman's best year is 20, and 30 for a male. With longer life expectancy and new ways to hide age, maybe those numbers can be adjusted up some?