Two of my non-negotiable immediate disqualifications`from emotional investment--ever. Seriously dude, you know better or else you wouldn't be asking.
Look, I get it. Been in almost the exact situation. You think she only cheated with you because you're so awesome--and you're feeling like the alpha of alphas and your ego doesn't want to deal with the fact that you're probably dealing with someone who isn't emotionally/mentally stable (thus invalidating the validation that feels so damned good right now--to the extent that you're trying to rationalize the prospect of keeping her around). That's real talk--do what you're gonna do but promise to update this thread so that others can learn
On another note (in a more general sense),
every girl will cheat in the right circumstance--but the specificity of those circumstances will vary widely from girl to girl (and a considerable percentage of girls won't ever have all those factors align and actually go through with it). Lots of girls. I'd find one who has no history of cheating.
It's a person I've known for a long time whom I've had several flings with. First one was about six years ago on her first husband. Most recently was the past few months on her current bf. About six times. And that's just with me. I'm not sure what else she has done in the past.
She is on mood stabilizers and sees a therapist. Even tells me from the beginning that she's crap at relationships because she always manages to hurt people in some way, acknowledging her issues. Kind of like a "when a person tells you what they are, believe them the first time", sort of deal.
Her and talked about dating, she even brought up the convo proposing that we do, and that she'll leave him if I want to. I say yes we should. Huzzah, we are officially dating...for less than a week.
She tells me after 5 days that she misses the ex more than she thought she would. She also lied to me about seeing him the night before her and I have this talk because I know he was at her house from a buddy telling me he saw the guy walk in. Told me, straight to my face, that they had only said four words to each other and had not seen each other at all. I would be a fool to think they didn't do anything. So, I thought, foolishly, that I was exempt from her behavior, but it's like a pattern she repeats. This is someone I've known for 15 years. Telling me a bald faced lie.W e weren't dating for a week.
Needless to say, she tells me she wants to get back together with him. I tell her that's too bad and that I am not sure I ever want to see her again. I felt like that was the best thing for me to do because this isn't the first time she's hurt me. Heck, this isn't the first time she's done this to a person in general. They say once a cheater always a cheater. It's true in this situation.
She called it from the beginning, though. She told me she was afraid to date because she was afraid we would end up hating each other. And she also told me putrightbthst she is crap at relationships.
So, yes, past history of cheating and mood stabilizers. Stay away.