No.Danny
Master Don Juan
If you have to set a boundary so your girl won't hang out with other guys.....
That should tell you A LOT about your lady
That should tell you A LOT about your lady
Danger said:You would be surprised at how many men here believe this is ok. Exception is one of the staunchest anti-boundary members who exist here, and his girls has all sorts of male friends, one of which she gets together and "studies" with.
Not surprisingly, Exception has a serious issue getting sex from said gf now. Check out his latest post on the subject.
Soolaimon said:I've said this many times but you lie again in the forum cause that's all you can do.
Well, you have to remember that I am a man of exceptional character...G_Govan said:Zekko, have you ever needed a woman you were exclusive with to tell you that you shouldn't date other women?
No where in my post did I say or even imply that I was shocked women do this. I'm more shocked by good behavior than anything else.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:You need to actually date enough women that take you seriously for LTR material before you come in here so shocked that so many women do this. Almost all hot women pull this shyte.
Women gauge your reaction to their jealousy games. They expect you to have a problem with it and you verbalizing it overtly is what they consider par for the course. It's a reinforcement of their frame/upper hand. "Aww look at him, so jealous of my male friends, he's just insecure."PairPlusRoyalFlush said:Ok because you truly seemed surprised that we could believe that a woman could do what you laid out in your post, i.e. have a double standard for their own behavior, when it is practically universal.
Danger said:Wait, you really are trying to say that telling her to not smoke in the car was NOT a boundary????
Seriously? Holy fvk you are the biggest helmet of anyone I have ever heard of.
Your action was setting your boundary, verbally. Just as defining exclusivity when she requests it is setting a boundary, verbally.
More black and white thinking. Who cares what's going on in his relationship.Danger said:You are just too chicken$hit to do such a thing, just like your celibate friend Exception who's girl is denying him sex while she hangs out with her male friends.
So, you set boundaries, we have established that. You are just too terrified to set one about her hanging out with other men.
Technics said:Ok just say you didn't know about setting boundaries early in the relationship and she does something that displeases you like goes for coffee/lunch/drinks with a new male co-worker.
How do you handle it?
Do you just simply walk away from the relationship and when she asks you, you tell her that she disrespected the relationship and you can't be with someone who disrespects you?
Or would you go and date other women/hang out with other girls and if she has a problem with it tell her ''I thought you wanted a relationship where we hung out with members of the opposite sex?..I'm totally fine with you hanging out with other men, but you have to know it means that I'm going to be hanging out with other girls.''
Considering you didn't set these boundaries at the start, would you consider taking her back if her reaction was good?
Danger is a habitual liar, projector, contradictor.TheException said:Spin Doctor Danger. Loves to fabricate things in order to make him appear strong. Has the DNC called yet?
Great post. And what I bolded^ is EXACTLY why you DO NOT overtly set a boundary. They WANT you to. They would love nothing more than for you to come up and tell them not to see other men. When you do this, they know they have you in the palm of their hand. They OWN your ass. "no they don't! those are my 'rules', and blah blah blah". Yes, those are your "rules", but once you have to state them, then it's too late.G_Govan said:Women gauge your reaction to their jealousy games. They expect you to have a problem with it and you verbalizing it overtly is what they consider par for the course. It's a reinforcement of their frame/upper hand. "Aww look at him, so jealous of my male friends, he's just insecure."
I'm not saying you roll over and do nothing, but you don't address it in the obvious way she anticipates. You agree and amplify. She either gets the point or you move on and/or revert to spinning her as a plate if she sticks around.
I know plenty of women who do this and they typically fall into 2 categories. AW/carousel rider or a woman who has lower interest in you than you have in her.
Danger said:I have known women with male friends they weren't fvking, and I have known women with male friends they WERE fvking, all while in a relationship.
Point is, when women today are conditioned by betas that they can have male friends, she will not necessarily believe she is endangering the relationship OR she knows it might and it is actually a $hit-test.
Remember, it isn't about stopping her from seeing other men (or negotiating desire) as much as it is defining what an LTR means to both of you and filtering for those who see differently. For some reason the anti-boundary crew seems very hung up on this concept, even to the point where they are ok with their woman going out with other men, and seem to miss the point of declining interest. At it's heart we all know it comes from a mindset of scarcity, otherwise they would dump her the moment she took action to hang out with those other men.
:yawn:Danger said:Exception,
Did you or did you not say that you were NOT getting laid whenever you want?
The link and quote are right here.
So who is the spin doctor and the liar?
That would be Exception, the sexless-wonder dating guru.
Soolaimon said:Who cares what's going on in his relationship.
I know this. It's quite obvious. He's actually quite boring....Danger is a habitual liar, projector, contradictor.
He says something in lies. Then you quote his lies and he claims he never said it when it's right there for all to see. Then he projects back on to you.
Many people saw him embarrass himself on the boundary debate with his lies and contradictions.
That's why people don't take his posts seriously anymore.
Peaks as usual dead on for this issue. Im too lazy to type out exactly what you did. This topic is mundane to me. The whole mystery of "the verbal boundary" boils down to fear and insecurity.Peaks&Valleys said:Great post. And what I bolded^ is EXACTLY why you DO NOT overtly set a boundary. They WANT you to. They would love nothing more than for you to come up and tell them not to see other men. When you do this, they know they have you in the palm of their hand. They OWN your ass. "no they don't! those are my 'rules', and blah blah blah". Yes, those are your "rules", but once you have to state them, then it's too late.
In order for you to allow her into your "kingdom" of exclusivity, she needs to prove herself to you. If she doesn't know that she shouldn't go running around town with different dudes that she's dating (romantically), then why in the fvck would you even mention exclusivity to her in the first place? If she still WANTS to hang around with other dudes(romantically) then why would you ever bring up exclusivity? Are you trying to tame her? Are you trying to change her?
If she's going to be your woman, then she needs to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she's not going to stray, she's not going to look at other options the moment you two hit a bump in the relationship road. And having to define what exclusivity means would only be needed for someone who is a clueless sociopatic BPD dullard, or a c0ck carousel riding wh0re, both of which, you would not want to be exclusive with in the first place. So, in that sense, if you have to define exclusivity, it would be a major red flag, and should tell you right then and there that you should not go exclusive with this woman. Further more, if you do define exclusivity to a woman, and she does follow by your rules in order to get into an exclusive relationship with you......then how long is she going to follow those rules? If they are "rules" that are changing her natural behavior, then how long will those rules keep her in line? How long will she follow those rules if she didn't want to in the first place?
Don't tell her what she needs to in order to pull off a fake persona for three months so she can pretend to be the perfect girlfriend. Instead, let her PROVE herself to you on her own. This way you will find out who she really is. What does exclusivity, with you, mean to her? <----That is what you should be finding out.
He is indeed boring repeating the same stuff all the time even when he's proven wrong.TheException said:I know this. It's quite obvious. He's actually quite boring
Obviously you don't know anything about women if you think they can't hide behind other excuses for hanging out with men that actually turn them on.Danger said:It sure does....this is why you don't set the boundary to keep her from hanging out with them. You define exclusivity so she knows the expectation and can't hide behind the "I didn't know".
Just calling it how I and others here see it. You are insecure of other men and your woman. That is obvious for all here to see.Danger said:The insecure card?!
You are trying to change her behavior from what is normal to her.Danger said:Point is, when women today are conditioned by betas that they can have male friends, she will not necessarily believe she is endangering the relationship OR she knows it might and it is actually a $hit-test.
Right. So setting your definitions of "exclusive terms" in January won't matter when in August she is digging another dude and has lost it for you.hockeyfreak79 said:WOMAN do have free will but they are also SUBMISSIVE by nature.
"The rules" are done out of insecurity but are projected as being strong men by the boundary crew.Peaks&Valleys said:Great post. And what I bolded^ is EXACTLY why you DO NOT overtly set a boundary. They WANT you to. They would love nothing more than for you to come up and tell them not to see other men. When you do this, they know they have you in the palm of their hand. They OWN your ass. "no they don't! those are my 'rules', and blah blah blah". Yes, those are your "rules", but once you have to state them, then it's too late.
Exactly.Peaks&Valleys said:In order for you to allow her into your "kingdom" of exclusivity, she needs to prove herself to you. If she doesn't know that she shouldn't go running around town with different dudes that she's dating (romantically), then why in the fvck would you even mention exclusivity to her in the first place? If she still WANTS to hang around with other dudes(romantically) then why would you ever bring up exclusivity? Are you trying to tame her? Are you trying to change her?
Excellent analysis.Peaks&Valleys said:If she's going to be your woman, then she needs to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she's not going to stray, she's not going to look at other options the moment you two hit a bump in the relationship road. And having to define what exclusivity means would only be needed for someone who is a clueless sociopatic BPD dullard, or a c0ck carousel riding wh0re, both of which, you would not want to be exclusive with in the first place. So, in that sense, if you have to define exclusivity, it would be a major red flag, and should tell you right then and there that you should not go exclusive with this woman. Further more, if you do define exclusivity to a woman, and she does follow by your rules in order to get into an exclusive relationship with you......then how long is she going to follow those rules? If they are "rules" that are changing her natural behavior, then how long will those rules keep her in line? How long will she follow those rules if she didn't want to in the first place?
Don't tell her what she needs to in order to pull off a fake persona for three months so she can pretend to be the perfect girlfriend. Instead, let her PROVE herself to you on her own. This way you will find out who she really is. What does exclusivity, with you, mean to her? <----That is what you should be finding out.
They pushed for it, that's the woman's job IMO.G_Govan said:Danger and Zekko, under what circumstances have you become exclusive? Were you asked or did you do the asking, as that would definitely make a difference.
The reason I don't like this is because it's just game playing. I don't care for game playing, I don't have the patience. I prefer to get the expectations out in the open at the beginning, that way there are no misunderstandings.G_Govan said:My answer to women who keep orbiters that they actually go out with, is to spin plates. Meaning the relationship has been downgraded. If confronted I play the same game, "they're just friends." If that doesn't curb her behavior then it is what it is.
Rest your case?Danger said:Exception I hate to tell you and Solly, but it looks like your advice regarding boundaries results in your women fvking other men, and removing all sex from you.
Meanwhile men like Zekko, Social Leper, Atom Smasher, myself and others have nice stable relationships with a lot of sex (whenever I want in fact).....I just don't see this insecurity you keep raging about.
I rest my case against both of you.