What's the etiquette after unanswered text?

[SoSerene]

Her responding late and then replying back with her being busy the whole week is usually a bad sign. See other girls and forget about her for now. If she's an online girl I would just delete her number.

Agreed. The girl in the thread I'm referring to responded quickly up until the weekend, then slowed down for whatever reason. Her interest level, on a scale of 1-10 was a 6 or 7 imo. But now the slow response and entirely blocking off her schedule doesn't seem good. Gonna go ghost as I'm pretty busy this week anyway and get in touch with her later on like you suggested.

This other girl I'm seeing responds literally minutes after I send a text even if it took me like a day to answer her back lol. She's super busy (actually busy) but does put in a lot of effort and gives me specific days she is available. She even tried on a couple occasions to set up an impromptu date before our scheduled time to meet up.

I had an impromptu date date with a woman from my past that went reasonable well, and she seems highly interested again so at the very least that's another option to keep things rolling.

 

[Leif_Johnson]

Well she just responded actually lol. Better late than never! Said sorry she was really busy with start of school (and she works full-time as well) but offered next week and added a flirty response at the end of the message.

She was originally a bit suspicious of my intentions as she stated early on after our first date that she "wasn't sure we were looking for the same thing" as I'm assuming she wants a relationship and she is probably suspecting I'm looking for just the opposite.

I'm definitely not her top priority at the moment, so I'll keep seeing other girls and give her a buzz sometime this week to schedule something for next week.

Why give her a buzz when you can see she isn't interested?

She already told you this on the first date: she "wasn't sure we were looking for the same thing".

That's code for not being interested. It takes a couple of seconds to text someone. People still can text when they are busy. That's the whole point of texting. You text when you are busy. Do you think she ignored all the other texts she received? Come on, think smart.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Nobody 'happens to forget' an opportunity of a lifetime.

Perfect.

I will add ... Nobodys that busy its just a problem of priorities.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

No response is passive agressive strategy of women to see how desperate you are.

 

[SoSerene]

Why give her a buzz when you can see she isn't interested?

She already told you this on the first date: she "wasn't sure we were looking for the same thing".

That's code for not being interested. It takes a couple of seconds to text someone. People still can text when they are busy. That's the whole point of texting. You text when you are busy. Do you think she ignored all the other texts she received? Come on, think smart.

I don't necessarily disagree with your premise, but I think some of the logistics aren't being communicated correctly. She made that statement after we confirmed a second date...then she texted me later on that day and said she changed her mind and thought that we were looking for two different things. I said no worries, take care etc. Then went ghost for 10 days and texted her to which she responded immediately and then called me. Asked her out for a drink which she said sure and then that's when she flaked the day when we were supposed to meet.

I'm 4 years younger than her and made references to her coming over and making her favourite drink at my place so she might've (correctly) got the impression I was just looking for fun whereas her biological clock is ticking and I'm sure she's looking for something more serious.

Normally I would be like "okay cool, next week sounds good!" but I have some other leads going so I'm not even gonna respond to this one at the moment I'll text her next weekend maybe.

 

[Top Of The Game]

but then don't answer a text in regards to meeting up.

I think your statement says it all. They have 0 no less than 0 interest in "hooking up" with you. That includes meeting up with you or any other way you might try to spin it.

Look at the situation. When you try to get her to commit to meeting up with you she goes silent.

End of fantasy story.

 

[Leif_Johnson]

I don't necessarily disagree with your premise, but I think some of the logistics aren't being communicated correctly. She made that statement after we confirmed a second date...then she texted me later on that day and said she changed her mind and thought that we were looking for two different things. I said no worries, take care etc. Then went ghost for 10 days and texted her to which she responded immediately and then called me. Asked her out for a drink which she said sure and then that's when she flaked the day when we were supposed to meet.

I'm 4 years younger than her and made references to her coming over and making her favourite drink at my place so she might've (correctly) got the impression I was just looking for fun whereas her biological clock is ticking and I'm sure she's looking for something more serious.

Normally I would be like "okay cool, next week sounds good!" but I have some other leads going so I'm not even gonna respond to this one at the moment I'll text her next weekend maybe.

Stop with the mental masturbation. She flaked on the date and basically said she is not interested. Why do you insist on texting her again when you have other girls? Girls won't turn down lays even if they are looking for something serious. 10 days ghost before. She should hit you up if she wanted to hang. Forget about this one.

 

[SoSerene]

You've never had a girl flake on a date because she had a bad day? I had one girl say something similar last year, she said she was tired/getting over a cold and cancelled last minute. Seemed pretty flaky to me but whatever I just brushed it off invited her out another time. Next time I saw her I fvcked her.

One poster mentioned that she might've had another guy lined up last minute and that's why she cancelled on me. Then he must've blown her off suddenly so she tried to get the date back on with me. Is this possible? Sure, I suppose. It's also just as likely she simply had a bad day at work, had a nap like she said and then felt better so she changed her mind and wanted to meet up. I don't see why that's so unreasonable.

And sure she did take a while to respond to my text, but it was non-urgent it's not like I was asking her out for the next day. I will take a day to reply to texts sometimes if I forgot and if it doesn't require immediate attention. This could be a one off thing from her, or maybe she's not interested. We don't know.

I realize her interest level isn't through the roof or anything, but I think sometimes people jump to conclusions without having enough info. Her interest could be a 4/10, or it could be a 6/10. Who knows. I've had lots of cases where chicks said they were busy for a particular week (medium to low interest) but indicated they were free the following week...and then we met up and I brought her back to my place.

Will give her a shout later on, and if she gives another excuse then I move on. We'll see.

 

[mikey2012]

You've never had a girl flake on a date because she had a bad day? I had one girl say something similar last year, she said she was tired/getting over a cold and cancelled last minute. Seemed pretty flaky to me but whatever I just brushed it off invited her out another time. Next time I saw her I fvcked her.

One poster mentioned that she might've had another guy lined up last minute and that's why she cancelled on me. Then he must've blown her off suddenly so she tried to get the date back on with me. Is this possible? Sure, I suppose. It's also just as likely she simply had a bad day at work, had a nap like she said and then felt better so she changed her mind and wanted to meet up. I don't see why that's so unreasonable.

And sure she did take a while to respond to my text, but it was non-urgent it's not like I was asking her out for the next day. I will take a day to reply to texts sometimes if I forgot and if it doesn't require immediate attention. This could be a one off thing from her, or maybe she's not interested. We don't know.

I realize her interest level isn't through the roof or anything, but I think sometimes people jump to conclusions without having enough info. Her interest could be a 4/10, or it could be a 6/10. Who knows. I've had lots of cases where chicks said they were busy for a particular week (medium to low interest) but indicated they were free the following week...and then we met up and I brought her back to my place.

Will give her a shout later on, and if she gives another excuse then I move on. We'll see.

The month ain't even over yet but this guy is already on track to become the beta champion of 2015

 

[RangerMIke]

No one calls anymore .

Or he could have text her saying..

Look why aren't you responding. ? I bent over backwards for you. Now you have left me in the lurch . If you don't respond by tomorrow then I'm never speaking to you again

LOL!!!! I know you're kidding, very funny.

The point to take from this is if no one is calling, and everyone is texting. If you are the guy that calls and actually talks to the girl, you will be different... Different is good.

If you are the guy that doesn't care if a women flakes on you or doesn't respond in a Beta chickish whiney way... well then you are different. You go all beta and butt-hurt because of what a woman does then all you do is reinforce her negative opinion that you have no self-control or confidence. You are certainly not encouraging her to pursue you... which builds interest.... she knows she has you... if she wants you.... which she won't because you are acting like a woman.

 

[Greasy Pig]

OP, if you have to justify a girl's behaviour as hard as you just did, you've already pedestalised her and she is a lost cause.
A woman who is passionately interested in you will not confuse you and she'll crawl over broken glass to get on your dyck.
Doing what she did was putting her at risk of losing you. No woman who really likes you is going to take that chance. She'll be on her best behaviour and treating you like someone she wants to be around.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

I simply just don’t bother following up and if they don’t follow up then I just forget it and move on. But I also add a twist if they reach out to me after I still don’t reply because to be honest if someone is going to take a long time to get back to me after I texted her that she’s not my priority anymore and I don’t even bother answering her. The only time I would answer her would be if she asked me why I’m not answering her and then I’ll tell her “you know why”.

I feel like you need to make a woman complacent and make her understand that her bad behaviour cannot be reported and that she cannot just treat you as someone she can write to whenever she wants.

 

[Dash Riprock]

What do you guys do if a girl doesn't respond to your text? I'm not generally referring to women that are non-responsive on the whole, in that case I would just move on. I'm mainly talking about women who at least have a medium level interest level and have generally been responding well...but then don't answer a text in regards to meeting up.

I don't want to feel like I'm chasing or have no other options, but at the same time if she just happened to forget to answer or something I don't want to miss out on an opportunity and let time be a destroyer. I guess I'm trying to find a middle ground between pursuing and chasing and not quite sure where the happy medium is.

Any wise words of wisdom would be appreciated!

OP,

We've all been where you are. The problem isn't the text or how you should or if you should reply.

The problem is in your mindset: You care way too much.

You should be focused on your career, $, friends, hobbies, goals, health, other interests, etc. So if she doesn't reply to a text, it's not even a blip on the radar. If it were me, unless it was someone I was exclusive with, I wouldn't reply and just move on. I NEVER double text.

Why? Because I'm a busy man and dating and women are not my #1 focal point. They're a nice little side treat once in a while. Make it tough or act flakey and bye bye. I'm too f*cking busy.

Hope that helps.

 

[member160292]

Legend has it that OP is still waiting on her response…

 

[MatureDJ]

I always send a 2nd one, but after that I presume I'm being ghosted and move on. And in any case, I've never gotten sex out of any chick that doesn't respond to my messages.

 

[itouchyou]

This is a joke, right?

Of course it isn't. Professing one's desire and feelings of being hurt followed by ultimatums shows that this person is an alpha male with extremely high self confidence. Either she can get with him or she never gets the chance to speak to him again. Absolute savagery.

 

[RangerMIke]

Wow this is an old thread that resurrected. @MatureDJ is correct when a woman isn't responding there is a very good chance she just is not interested.

Women today are just glued to their smart phones... I find this very annoying mostly because when I started dating in the 80s there were no cell phones. Always know that she got your message... if she hasn't answered back she is sending you a message... no answer is an answer and she is communicating a lack of interest and/or availability.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Nothing matters up until the point you both have spent some considerable time with each other.

There's nothing there until there's something there. If its a girl you've never even met up with, there's nothing to be upset about or care about. You can try again in a while and if she's still not down, move on.

I've had situations where I hit a girl up and nothing happened after a few attempts of us both trying to hang, then we actually hung out and had an amazing time, months later.

If you both are not putting effort to meet EQUALLY, theres no point in moving further.

 

[manfrombelow]

What do you guys do if a girl doesn't respond to your text?

Very simple: Stop texting further.

Texting is like a tennis game. You hit the ball over the net to the other side. What would happen if your opponent (for whatever reasons) doesn't hit the ball back? The game cannot continue. Same thing for texting. You sent her a text. She doesn't respond. The "game" stops right then and there (at least until she responds, but that's another story.)

I'm not generally referring to women that are non-responsive on the whole, in that case I would just move on. I'm mainly talking about women who at least have a medium level interest level and have generally been responding well...but then don't answer a text in regards to meeting up.

You are splitting hair. When a woman, for whatever reasons, doesn't text back. It means her Interest Level is anywhere from non-existent to lukewarm at best. And you don't try to text a Low-Interest chick. Your time, energy, and dignity, believe it or not, are worth much more than that.

Any wise words of wisdom would be appreciated!

Just use common sense: When a person (be it a man or a woman or a child or anyone) doesn't reciprocate your effort of communication, you stop right then and there. It's called "common sense".

 

[manfrombelow]

Nothing matters up until the point you both have spent some considerable time with each other.

There's nothing there until there's something there. If its a girl you've never even met up with, there's nothing to be upset about or care about. You can try again in a while and if she's still not down, move on.

I've had situations where I hit a girl up and nothing happened after a few attempts of us both trying to hang, then we actually hung out and had an amazing time, months later.

If you both are not putting effort to meet EQUALLY, theres no point in moving further.

Even if you have fvcked her at least a dozen of times before she decides to stop communicating with you, it's still the same: You don't try to text again and again and again hoping to get a reply from a person who simply doesn't want to reply back to you.