what's the deal with the ex?

[blackhatter]

I know you've all seen these posts many times. I know going back to an ex who has trashed you is always a horrible idea, but I need to know what is going on in her head?

Dated her for a year.. honestly I've dated 5-6 women in my life and I felt as if she loved me almost more than any of my others. I never really was AFC like toward her.. made thing exciting most the time. Got real close with her family and things were going great.. then she went on vacation about 3 months ago and asked me for a break. She got real nasty towards me, telling me she didn't want to talk at all for a week or so.

Right off the bat i knew something wasn't right. Ends up that she was getting with some guy on vacation. Her reasoning for the break was because I was being too "shady" and telling her that I was hanging out with some other sorority girls. In reality, I was just joking with her and wasn't doing anything that would damage the relationship. After she asked for a break I asked her if she loved me anymore and she said "she doesn't know". After hearing those words, I told her we were done. She says "if that's how you feel then that's how it is."

Long story short, the past week she's been begging for me back. She's sat outside my door 2 nights in a row crying while I had another girl over my place. She swears to me that she only kissed this guy on vacation and that she didn't feel that I cared enough about her, so of course she was going to hookup with another guy.

So far I've been fairly strong. I've told her hanging out is ok, but theres no chance of anything ever coming about again. In other words, I've been using her for sex.

Deep down I know she loves me, but she has security problems. Whenever she is alone for a long time (weeks), she feels the need to be loved. This explains why she asked for a break on vacation. Now she's back and she's lonely again. I KNOW that falling back into this girl is the wrong thing to do. I guess I just need some reenforcement to help me not fall back into this.

As far as my interest in her, there's still some. I'm more sexually attracted to her than anything. I've never had better sex with a girl than her. On my scale, she's an HB9. Although I do like hanging out with her, I could definitely see myself with another woman. It's just very tough because we've been through so much together and even after 3 months, it still feels odd to not be with her.

any advice is appreciated

 

[DonGorgon]

Her inner ho cried out and she let it out to play.. it happens to all women at some point (actually at several points...LOL)... but what you need to do now is act cool pretend your cool with her and use her for sex cause a real meaning full relationship is no longer a possibility with her.

 

[blackhatter]

Her inner ho cried out and she let it out to play.. it happens to all women at some point (actually at several points...LOL)... but what you need to do now is act cool pretend your cool with her and use her for sex cause a real meaning full relationship is no longer a possibility with her.

Yeah, well I've been doing that for the past month. I didn't really mention the whole story since I've already posted it. I got with 2 of her friends, broke off contact with her for awhile. She ended up crawling back. I treated her like exactly what she is when she came back - a ho. I'd **** her, then goto sleep and not say a word.

It's just that now things are coming to a point in which she is asking for something again. Should I just stop talking to her?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I believe the answer to this will be NEXT!

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeah, well I've been doing that for the past month. I didn't really mention the whole story since I've already posted it. I got with 2 of her friends, broke off contact with her for awhile. She ended up crawling back. I treated her like exactly what she is when she came back - a ho. I'd **** her, then goto sleep and not say a word.

It's just that now things are coming to a point in which she is asking for something again. Should I just stop talking to her?

Just string her along as long as you can... she will love you for it.. but do not fall for her.. ever. WHY???? cause she does not want you to.

 

[tick37]

Your example proves that women want what they can't have. When she had you, she treated all wrong. Now she doesn't have you, and her low self-esteem makes her want you back.

Good job! She's acting like I did in my AFC days. Just cut her loose and find someone that doesn't decide to ***** around on her boyfriend. If she thought you were something special, she wouldn't have even tried to screw things up. Screw her on more time, do all the dirty things you haven't done, and then send her packing.

 

[Mr. Me]

I need to know what is going on in her head...

As far as my interest in her, there's still some.

No kidding? That's why you want to know what's in her head. You're still attached to her. If you weren't, you wouldn't care what she's thinking.

Ends up that she was getting with some guy on vacation. Her reasoning for the break was because I was being too "shady" and telling her that I was hanging out with some other sorority girls.

The real reason was that she wanted to phuck the other guy. But she has to make it look like it was all your fault so that she doesn't look like a slut.

After she asked for a break I asked her if she loved me anymore and she said "she doesn't know". After hearing those words, I told her we were done. She says "if that's how you feel then that's how it is."

Again, she's making it look like it's your fault.

She's the one that asked to break. Once they ask to break, it's over. They don't want to break from the man of their dreams and lose him, right?

You asked her if she loved you - don't ask from now on, it's pointless to ask, they can lie - and she says "I don't know". Truth is, she knows what she feels. She says she doesn't because she wants to keep you hanging just in case.

So when you said it's over, she let you be the "bad guy" and said "if that's the way YOU FEEL". Ha! She's the one that asked for the break!

Do you see her M.O.?

So now what happened? Oh, it didn't work out the other guy - so she's back! With more bullsh!t excuses too, blaming you for her hooking up with the other guy. Why am I not surprised?

Deep down I know she loves me,

Right... women who really love their men break up with them to try out another man.

She swears to me that she only kissed this guy on vacation

She's NOT going to tell you about the sex romps she had with him on the beach. And in the hotel room.

Your example proves that women want what they can't have.

No, that's not what this example shows. That woman goes after what she wants and breaks off with what she doesn't want.

This example shows that guys that are sexually attracted to women will buy into them, especially for the sex, and despite the obvious bad treatment and low interest they receive, will rationalize it away (blackhatter's post is FILLED with his rationalization) and believe the woman really loves them.

Whenever she is alone for a long time (weeks), she feels the need to be loved. This explains why she asked for a break on vacation. Now she's back and she's lonely again.

Rationalization like that for example. Here's a good question to ponder: If you know what's going on in her mind so as to explain her actions like you've done, then why are you asking "what is going on in her head?"

I KNOW that falling back into this girl is the wrong thing to do. I guess I just need some reenforcement to help me not fall back into this.

Finally - you got one thing right.

blackhatter, sooner or later she's gonna find another guy and dump you again. And of course, she'll say it's your fault. When she came crying back, you should've said, "I'm sorry it didn't work out for you! You'll make a great catch for some guy, some day. See ya." NEXT! Hope that serves as reinforcement enough.

 

[tick37]

Mr. Me, great incite!

 

[DonGorgon]

The real reason was that she wanted to phuck the other guy. But she has to make it look like it was all your fault so that she doesn't look like a slut.

Sluts and hos do everything in their power not to look like sluts and hos.

 

[blackhatter]

Thanks for the insight.

For the record, I'm not completely ignorant to whats going on. I know she asked for a break because she wanted to phuck this other guy. I know that she is lonely now so she's just coming back to me to have something. I know that she will ultimately do this again. It's been 3 months since and I really haven't talked to her much. However I have been doing some damage since.. I can't remember how many girls I've brought back, but the number is up there. I know I can pull most women that I want to (not bragging).

This is why I haven't and will not go back to her. I've been hooking up with her friend lately which really sent her in a tailspin. I do have some feelings for her still, but as I said mostly just sexual.. I can't get over her body. I can however get over her personality, which isn't even that great anyways.

So the real question is, how long can I use her for sex before things start getting to be a pain in the ass? She came over lastnight, we had about an hour session of rough sex and then I went to sleep. Woke up this morning, said a few things and then she left. Nothing emotional. I'm thinking last night may be the last night I have her over ever again.

 

[DonGorgon]

So the real question is, how long can I use her for sex before things start getting to be a pain in the ass? She came over lastnight, we had about an hour session of rough sex and then I went to sleep. Woke up this morning, said a few things and then she left. Nothing emotional. I'm thinking last night may be the last night I have her over ever again.

As long as you think its worth it... I like to keep a team of hos for sex since females are undependable and tend to be servicing other men also so I keep 3 so I never go without.... every now and then one of my hos will meat an AFC and have a short relationship with him, when this happens i leave her alone so she can miss me and come back later on...

i would much rather have 1 good woman who i can love and cherish blah blah blah but no pretty women under 37 years old want to be love and cherished..LOL So I keep my team of sex options.

 

[typical]

Your being a pvssy and holding on, dump her now and find another girl, end of story.


BTW you really don't want to know whats going on in her head, unless you want to end up bitter and twisted . So when things look like they are going bad get out as quick as you can cause you don't want a lifetime of crap now do you ?

 

[KontrollerX]

"I know she asked for a break because she wanted to phuck this other guy."

Not relationship material.

This is the unforgiveable offense among real men/DJ's.

You are doing the right thing by transitioning her into a FB but if your emotions for her are getting too strong considering all that you've been through you might want to cut her loose completely so you can just game other chicks and get your mind off of her.

Then if you feel that she's worth keeping in your life transition her into simply being a friend of yours or get the fvck buddy thing going again if you can.

Another thing you need to keep in mind in order to be strong about all this is that despite all that you've went through together and it meaning a lot to you it clearly didn't mean the same to her as she didn't value all of that enough to not shove some other guy's c0ck down her throat and into her pvssy over and over again.

Remember that.

 

[drak_ool]

1)I need to know what is going on in her head

2)then she went on vacation about 3 months ago and asked me for a break. Ends up that she was getting with some guy on vacation

3)the past week she's been begging for me back

4)She swears to me that she only kissed this guy on vacation

5)I've told her hanging out is okI've been using her for sex.


6)As far as my interest in her, there's still some. I've never had better sex with a girl than her

blackhatter, i see a post like yours about ex's every day on this forum and they all look the SAME! Yours fits perfectly into this stereotype:
you got really attached to her, she left you for some other guy, things didn't work out with him and now she wants to get back with you. 99% of the time, if you do take her back she ll do the same thing again and you ll be posting on here about her again.

I tried to highlight all the red flags that come up in my mind as I read your post:
1) why do you "need" to know what s going on in her head? if she truly cared about you she would have not left you in the first place. That is all you need to know about her.

2) and 4) typical branch swinging slvt: breaks up with you to go on vacation with another guy and she still has the balls to lie to your face about having sex with him. come on, do you really believe she liked this guy so much to break up with her bf and then, being stuck x number of days with said guy she only kissed him?

3) things didn't work out with the other guy so now she s trying to go back to her ex, probably waiting to find something better later on. again, typical

5) and 6) this is where it gets really disturbing because ALL the guys who end up taking the gfs back say this shyt. you re letting her stick her foot through the door while thinking you are in control, and next thing you know she turns the situation around by witholding sex from you and now your stuck back in a relationship with her. Also, all the guys justify getting together with her because it was "the best sex ever". Does that mean you are willing to trade off your honor for good sex?

look, i m not saying it s impossible to transform a former gf into a FB. It s just that i ve never heard of a real life case when this happened and everybody involved was fine with it. So, your chances of fvcking this up are close to 90%... i wouldn't think it s worth it, but maybe you r a gambler, who knows

 

[Mr. Me]

I know she asked for a break because she wanted to phuck this other guy.

Well, okay, because originally, you posted:

Whenever she is alone for a long time (weeks), she feels the need to be loved. This explains why she asked for a break on vacation.

and that didn't make any sense.

And you're right that she can't take being alone, which is why now that Mr. Vacation Guy isn't there anymore she's flitted back to you.

But you say your main problem is that you "can't get over her body". So let's figure this out.

Can you at least get under her body? Is there any position that's comfortable for you?

I'm sorry. I could've resisted, but I didn't.

The key is to stop thinking about her body. Dwelling on it makes you want it more.

In the meantime, if she's giving it up for you, take it. Just don't do or say anything that is boyfriend-like because that's how you'll get sapped right back in, when you start hanging with her more than you should and she starts getting connected emotionally. Keep her at arm's length.

Or in your case, d!ck's length.

 

[blackhatter]

Well, okay, because originally, you posted:



and that didn't make any sense.

And you're right that she can't take being alone, which is why now that Mr. Vacation Guy isn't there anymore she's flitted back to you.

But you say your main problem is that you "can't get over her body". So let's figure this out.

Can you at least get under her body? Is there any position that's comfortable for you?

I'm sorry. I could've resisted, but I didn't.

The key is to stop thinking about her body. Dwelling on it makes you want it more.

In the meantime, if she's giving it up for you, take it. Just don't do or say anything that is boyfriend-like because that's how you'll get sapped right back in, when you start hanging with her more than you should and she starts getting connected emotionally. Keep her at arm's length.

Or in your case, d!ck's length.

Ha bro, come on I appreciate the advice but don't mistake me for a fool. I've been in plenty relationships and know how things work. However this is the first time I've had a girl cheat on me (in a sense). I've always been the one cheating on my girl or getting rid of her.

I do like her body, I do take it when she comes to me. I never go out of my way to see her, it's always her drunk ass showing up at my door late night. It's always her sending the pathetic text messages which I usually just poke fun at. I treat her like a piece of trash right now and it seems to make her want it even more. I was just wondering how long I can keep this up without something snapping.

My #1 fear is that she'll screw up my game with other women. This is why I've contemplated cutting it off with her completely.

From my first post you may take me for someone who doesn't know how to handle a woman, but trust me there's no nonsense going on here. I would never get back with this girl just because she's stooped down to a level that I can't even imagine (theres more to the story). I don't even know why I'm writing about this. Maybe this was more a general question about all women who are like this.

thanks for the responses.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Quit trying to sound cool and just listen to Mr Me. There is nothing to be ashamed of for still liking a girl that cheated on you as long as you work to change it, however while it initially was your main point you are now trying to save your ego by lying to yourself and the board. You've gone from:

only wanting to know what she is thinking in her mind ->
only wanting to feel her body coz its so great->
only wanting to make sure that she does not mess up your reputation with women

all in under 8 hrs :\

The obvious answer to your final goal is to CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Either fvck her and keep things strictly business (very risky) or cut her out of your life. You said you are scoring mad pvssy to the point you lost track so just find one with a nice body (since im assuming the others didnt have it since you are still thinking about this chick) and you are set. Get plates regardless of your choice to phase this faulty chick out of your life. Good luck mayne

 

[DonGorgon]

...There is nothing to be ashamed of for still liking a girl that cheated on you as long as you work to change it,...e

FALSE!

 

[SunnyD]

FALSE!

I concur. Haven't you heard: Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me.

 

[Andromax]

I would never get back with this girl just because she's stooped down to a level that I can't even imagine (theres more to the story).

Uhhh... we like stories, spill the beans?