What's the best strategy if your aim is a LTR?

[Nu Vision]

So she texted me today that her ex bf asked her out to an event on Saturday and she wants to know what I think.

How do i play this? Don't want to come accross as needy or demanding but also don't want her to go of course.

 

[Peña]

So she texted me today that her ex bf asked her out to an event on Saturday and she wants to know what I think.

How do i play this? Don't want to come accross as needy or demanding but also don't want her to go of course.

Looks like you started to play games with her and now she is playing games with you. Girls who are still friendly hanging out with the ex are not good for LTR's.

 

[Nu Vision]

DO you think this is a test to gauge my interest level or long term commitment?

 

[nolesfan]

As far as my response goes when girls say "I miss you" or "I Can't wait to see you again" , gotta keep it playful and always want them wishing for more and wondering how you feel, as soon as you tell them what they want to hear, fun is over, challenge completed, which hurts the game and stops her wonder.

Try things like:
Her: I miss you
Me: I knew it!
Then switch subject

(Shows no weakness in response, and gives her the thought in her head of wondering if you miss her)

Her: I can't wait to see you again
Me: why? So you can (bring up something funny that happened last time you guys hung out in a playful manner)

(This avoids having to respond like a *****, and turn it into a playful conversation again, especially over text, because serious convos shouldn't happen over text)

Those are just things that have worked for me in the couple of instances where girls try to trap us into gay responses that just make us seem weak and eventually unattractive in her eyes)

Now my question is, I have been talking to this girl and she brought up that she ended things with her ex because they just wanted different things, I want to know what her relationship is with him still , as I feel like they may still be communicating on a friendly basis, any thoughts on how to go about this without looking insecure?

Thanks bros

 

[Nu Vision]

Thanks nolesfan,

Why bring up the bf? Invite her out and have fun.

Why do you think she's talking to him?

 

[nolesfan]

Just stupid stuff man, on her Facebook he posts some stuff to her wall and she likes it, but that's all I know of, I just don't want to be played for a fool, I'm a big respect guy, I'm cool with people as friends but I trust no one you know haha

More or less just wondering how thy left things since they are still friends or if he communicates with her regularly

Other than that, all I do is keep it playful and fun with her

 

[Nu Vision]

I'm also a respectful guy. But I've learned that if she says she's done with the bf then you go by that and do your thing man. Respectful/loyal guys like us often finish last. F that.

Just ask her out and have fun.

 

[pyros]

I dont really get why you ignored her text for several hours...on purpose. You wanted to make her think you were with another girl? what?? arent you looking for a LTR? what the fvck?

now she's playing the same game telling you her ex asked her out, which could be true or false.

You silly...stop playing stupid games.

P.S.

Of course you should tell her you dissaprove her going out with her ex, jeez...what a silly question indeed.

P.S. 2.

Or you can tell her you find it ok, and you tell her to have fun with her ex (according to some stupid PUA technic you've read in a forum or somewhere so you show her how alpha you are, and you show her you dont givbe a fvck too)...then she will get mad, she will think you dont love her, and she will go fvck her ex.

Crazy OP....

 

[MAYALL]

She told me she got out of a LTR not long ago and she wants us to take things slow and let things develop organically.

We've had sex 3 times already so I'm not I'm friend zone.

Looks like things are moving fast and not taking things slow.

So she texted me today that her ex bf asked her out to an event on Saturday and she wants to know what I think.

How do i play this? Don't want to come accross as needy or demanding but also don't want her to go of course.

She wants to get a reaction out of you. Do you have other girls besides her?

 

[Nu Vision]

Nope. But I'm going out tonight and plan to change that.

We have agreed to keep hanging out but she is honest in telling me that she has said OK to having a talk with the ex. He wants her back. If they go back then it's understood we won't see each other anymore.

 

[Peña]

Maybe she is on a break from him? Girls still having an ex around is not good for LTR. I would start meeting new girls collecting their numbers. Still hang out just do not expect anything long term at this point.

 

[Nu Vision]

Yea. That's the plan peña. LTR is out if the picture.

 

[Alexandar]

oh come on vision,

i think sometimes we take the gaming too far, it all depends on the situation, if shes sending u 5-6 texts you are going way too far with the game to ignore her

you shouldnt have done that its unnecessery IMO

shes absolutely testing you cuz of it, i think shes lying but regardess,

the way to pass THIS test is actually to show you care a bit, tell her you like her and dont want her to go with the ex, nothing wrong this in this particular situation

too much gaming of hicks with high IL whove ardy phucked you is unnecessery IMO and of course it backfires like this cuz they arent braindead they get the feeling youre gaming them and it feels like crap to the ones who are decent human beings

Id backtrack and salvage her, shes just butt hurt, but whatever

 

[Octogonal]

oh come on vision,

i think sometimes we take the gaming too far, it all depends on the situation, if shes sending u 5-6 texts you are going way too far with the game to ignore her

you shouldnt have done that its unnecessery IMO

shes absolutely testing you cuz of it, i think shes lying but regardess,

the way to pass THIS test is actually to show you care a bit, tell her you like her and dont want her to go with the ex, nothing wrong this in this particular situation

too much gaming of hicks with high IL whove ardy phucked you is unnecessery IMO and of course it backfires like this cuz they arent braindead they get the feeling youre gaming them and it feels like crap to the ones who are decent human beings

Id backtrack and salvage her, shes just butt hurt, but whatever

I disagree with your advice. It's not his job to tell her he likes her after her current behavior. I'm not one for playing games, though it seems he might have weeded her out before things got serious. He knows she is still on good terms with her ex and he wants her back. A nice red flag to watch out for. If she really wants him, she would tell the ex to take a hike. If she is going to events with him I'd drop her right then.

 

[skinnyguy]

I think the relationship game has changed. Usually it's me looking for something long term while the girl is looking for a FWB or a one night thing.

Women have so much abundance these days they don't want to be tied down by one guy. They always want to hop to the better one.

 

[Nu Vision]

Alexandar,

I think you are right man. I guess in this case reading too much into game fvcked me up. She has always been the one initiating first thing in the morning. She called me Sunday and I actually cut her off after a few minutes and told her I was heading out which was true but I could have rewarded her calling me by giving her more minutes of my time. I sensed in her voice that she was dissappointed.

I'm going out with her tomorrow. She is scheduled to go with the ex on saturday. I will make moves tomorrow and hope to convince her with actions and how the date goes to cancel on the bf. Today we talked and I told her that I like her and wanTed her to know I see her as someone could get into an exclusive relationship with. I know girls are the ones who are supposed to bring relationship up but I feel with this bf thing she is kind of putting it on the table and wanting to know where my head is at. Maybe she doesn't want to say no to the bf for some thing she us not sure is a serious long term thing with me.

She basically said she is confused and does not know what to do. Because she also sees me as someone she wold get into a serious relationship with but she has so much time invested in the ex.

What do I do her beside making sure the date is fun tomorrow?

Go the beta route and do nice things for her try ton win her heart. Don't think it will work.

Be unavailable after tomorrow it she goes out with the ex so she misses me and see what she is missing out on?

What you guys think?

 

[Nu Vision]

So last night she called me and said maybe I should drop by. I start getting ready to head over and then she texts that maybe not a good idea that she's tired and sleepy.

She just canceled our date for today. Saying she's in a very unhappy and unclear place right now. Saying please don't be mad.

Whats the best way to go about this?

Tell her I'll give her space and to get back to me when she figures stuff out?

 

[Alexandar]

ok dude, now you pull out, tell her np take your time if you ever wanna talk dont be shy and go ghost
she will be back soon
its all a test now
i guarantee you the boyfriend thing is a lie or will go nowhere, what a joke, if anything and its true, it will for sure push her towards you.
keep in mind what octagonal said above in disagreeing with my earlier advice may have some serious merit: you may have weeded her out, it IS a red flag. Keeping this in mind will make it easier to go ghost now.

go find some other women, cold approaches for the win, watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bqa73nH3Z0 sh it is crazy. boom. profit.

 

[Nu Vision]

Thanks Alex.

Done. I text her that. She says she's in a bad place anD don't know what to do. The ex and her were engaged before the problems began. I'll detach and if she hits me up to hang out I'll play but this one can cause me more hurt than ID like.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I wanted to add to this LTR discussion. I've been on marriage and infidelity websites from 2007 right up until a couple months ago where I got on sosuave.net.

In any case it was a common problem that men who let their attractiveness and game go tended to have wives who strayed.

That some of the DJ principles will always have to be part of your toolset whether you do plates or LTR's.

It's healthy for a woman to know she has a desireable male and other women would be happy to bed him.

We cannot give women everything they want or ask for and we cannot listen to every or even most of what they say.

Even as a husband or LTR boyfriend live in, you have to have your own passions outside of her. These passions need to be so strong it's almost like another woman to her.

Plus you need to occasionally be in venues were you are peeped by the opposite sex, it keeps her on her toes.

Women are very competitive and if your wife LTR girlfriend thinks other women are sniffing around, she will likely be screwing you like crazy in the bedroom.

Many women who lose that fear, get lazy in the bedroom, to the point where they will even give up sex because they figure they don't have to do it. This can even be a woman who loved sex with you, because she's getting addicted to "control". That's why I have the befabled "put out or get out" speech. LTR gf's or wives need to hear it once in a while and you need to be serious about it.

I believe with some level of game, DJ principles and keeping yourself marketable a LTR can be a rewarding proposition. You just can't get lazy.

Also I will add one more thing. You will be more successful in an LTR if you find a woman who is "good" for it. Not one whose been on the single market for 20 years, but someone who tends to have boyfriends and it stretches on over time and she puts something into it. That's the kind of woman you want for an LTR. Not a high flight risk in a "hot girl", if your going to be messing with a "hot girl" you better be a highly desireable male so your SMV balances out or even is higher than her.

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