What's the best response to someone who flakes on the date?

[Rambo92]

One time, 2 years ago or so, a girl flaked on me. I simply replied "b1tch," and that made her interested, and she told me as such. Ended up getting with her in bed a few times. I wouldn't actually do this if you care about the girl. But generally, if a girl flakes, I lose interest because I can't deal with flakes.

Ha, I would if it was someone I wasn't bothered about. Yeah, same here. My old self might have shifted the date with this new girl for this one, but this new girl hasn't flaked on me yet so she doesn't deserve to be treated as such. Least I've shown I can back off and have girls come back to me, it does work. My old self would be pushing desperately for another day that she would be free. It's quite refreshing.

 

[Glassguy]

Earlier today she text me "Hey I can meet you on Monday if this is okay with you

"

I replied "Sure, see you at the same place at 4pm?"

She said "Can't do 4pm. I can meet you at 7:30pm

as I'm in my placement until 7pm".

I said "Unfortunately I'm busy later on, what other days are you free?"

She said "Next week that is my only free evening"

So I just replied "When you have a free day let me know and we'll sort something then

".

I do actually have a date with a different girl (girl #2) Monday night. I was talking to girl #2 last night asking if she's free Monday and she responded today saying yes, so I'm not going to switch that date to another day just so I can see girl #1, who's already cancelled on me. Am I right to do this?

Just I feel like girl #1 blew her chance so I'm prioritising girl #2 for that day. I'm sure girl #1 has another day free during the week and is possibly "acting hard to get" because I said I was busy that evening after she cancelled on me originally, if you get what I'm saying. I'll probably get in touch in a weeks time and see what her schedule is like then.

Definitely don't scrap the plans with girl 2 to meet up with girl 1 who already flaked. A bird in then hand is better than 2 in the bush. She flaked and dropped down on your level of importance.

I would be radio silent this week since the scheduling doesn't work out to meet up with her anyway. See if she reaches out. If she doesn't, shoot her a text next week. "Hey, been busy but I'm free this Thursday at 7. What kind of trouble do you want to get into?". See how she responds.

I made the mistake of last minute flaking on a chick to meet up with another chick that flaked previously and was playing hard to get. Huge mistake. Chick 2 ended up being 3 times better and put me through the ringer when I canceled the date. Chick 1 was an attention wh0re and only gave me blue balls.

 

[nismo-4]

"Another time."

Then, mentally next her. Don't delete her # cause she could potentially turn into some late night bored and lonely sex. Let her reach out.

Don't hold your breath. I never bought into this because she only reaches out for some late night beta attention i.e. tech support (she can't miss how many likes she got on her new sundress), emotional support, ego boosting. Or just plain wanting to be friends.

Now this is part true; if she does reach out, lay down the law i.e. sex or go away.

I'm kinda late with a response here, but the fact that this is about getting back at a flake shows 4 beta traits:

1. Naïveté
2. Insecurity
3. Caring more than the girl
4. Building or upgrading her pedestal

Let's face it, if this is a first date flake out, you have failed at being better than the other 13 guys who also asked her out. Sorry. No different than applying for a job and you get that automated email with "Unfortunately".

Don't respond at all. Just delete her number and move on. She's not that attractive and you can do better anyway. Don't hang around her. Make sure she knows you won't be her new fan or orbiter.

Now, if she gives a stone counteroffer, that's when you pursue. Otherwise, follow the court order of nolle prosequi. It means do not follow. Not even on social media.

Deleting a girl for this is good mentally but doesn't mean you're an alpha male. It just means you refuse to be her beta. She'll either call back or be railed by Chad.

Flaking is inevitable. All men hate it. Women, not so much, unless it's from someone who has really high value.

Don't analyze about where you went wrong or why she flaked. There's infinite reasons. Often, her first place guy showed up. Accept your loss and find another one. Never let your feelings and heart get involved. Yeah, no guy wants to be alone with his ipad on Friday night, but use that time to relax, make more money, get that xbox achievement, etc. Hell, buy a cool luxury item! You're not spending on a girl that might not put out, so lavish yourself!

When it comes to dating women and banging them, we, as men (mostly) have a lot of work to put in. An infinite number of things can go wrong. Hell, I lost a prom date because she and I couldn't talk about a game called The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, cuz I didn't own that game. Fortunately, I had a backup, and far better looking.

Guys, if you're not first, you're last. You won't be first with every woman, but fix anything about you that would make you come in first place more.

 

[darksprezzatura]

I whole heartedly agree with @bigneil that NO response is the best response.
The medium is the message.
Employ the Brad Pitt rule:

If you were Brad Pitt, basically her highest priority at the moment, when would she compromise meeting you?

-Maybe when she's too ill to move.
-Maybe due to a huge family emergency.
-Maybe she's so shy and nervous that she can't settle those nerves to meet you.

Any other reason is an instant soft next. If it happens twice in a row, hard next, don't even waste your time and emotions.

I hard nexted an HB 7 TODAY.
Deleted all forms of communications and social media and stopped responding, after she flaked today and asked me can we meet on Saturday with a stupid excuse.

It looks immature and childish but better just throw the junk food than keep it in case of emergency.

It stings, but a lot of lessons learnt.

Better find someone who likes you than make someone like you.

 

[fastlife]

Don't hold your breath. I never bought into this because she only reaches out for some late night beta attention i.e. tech support (she can't miss how many likes she got on her new sundress), emotional support, ego boosting. Or just plain wanting to be friends.

Now this is part true; if she does reach out, lay down the law i.e. sex or go away.

I'm kinda late with a response here, but the fact that this is about getting back at a flake shows 4 beta traits:

1. Naïveté
2. Insecurity
3. Caring more than the girl
4. Building or upgrading her pedestal

Let's face it, if this is a first date flake out, you have failed at being better than the other 13 guys who also asked her out. Sorry. No different than applying for a job and you get that automated email with "Unfortunately".

Don't respond at all. Just delete her number and move on. She's not that attractive and you can do better anyway. Don't hang around her. Make sure she knows you won't be her new fan or orbiter.

Now, if she gives a stone counteroffer, that's when you pursue. Otherwise, follow the court order of nolle prosequi. It means do not follow. Not even on social media.

Deleting a girl for this is good mentally but doesn't mean you're an alpha male. It just means you refuse to be her beta. She'll either call back or be railed by Chad.

Flaking is inevitable. All men hate it. Women, not so much, unless it's from someone who has really high value.

Don't analyze about where you went wrong or why she flaked. There's infinite reasons. Often, her first place guy showed up. Accept your loss and find another one. Never let your feelings and heart get involved. Yeah, no guy wants to be alone with his ipad on Friday night, but use that time to relax, make more money, get that xbox achievement, etc. Hell, buy a cool luxury item! You're not spending on a girl that might not put out, so lavish yourself!

When it comes to dating women and banging them, we, as men (mostly) have a lot of work to put in. An infinite number of things can go wrong. Hell, I lost a prom date because she and I couldn't talk about a game called The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, cuz I didn't own that game. Fortunately, I had a backup, and far better looking.

Guys, if you're not first, you're last. You won't be first with every woman, but fix anything about you that would make you come in first place more.

Tried this method out--since on the surface it seems more efficient & it appealed to my ego. BUT really a quick text once a week is literally a 5 second investment--the only real cost is how much emotional/ego investment you have in the outcome.

If I'm meeting & pursuing other girls, I'll still drop weekly texts to girls who've flaked--especially if I liked them. Zero downside--unless you care that some girl you met once thinks you're a desperate creep. Unlimited upside--you hit her at the right moment & she comes over & you hit it off or at least get it off. You never know what's going on on the other side of that phone line or how much stimulus you're competing against. I hate an 'Instagram Model' over the other week (didn't get the lay--too much ASD & she seemed really robotic & we didn't click mentally). She had 128 unread text messages; she had over 600 Snapchat notifications; she had about 250 Instagram notifications from a selfie she posted a couple hours earlier.

Her first choice probably changes about every 15 minutes--and there are probably tons of guys she really likes and really means to text back who she just flat out forgets & then is too self-conscious to get back to when she thinks about them in a week.

These days I double text, triple text, shoot out feeler texts months later (again, if I really want her). Gotta adapt. Just the way things are. Some of them chase eventually. The others, well, who gives a sh1t.

 

[bigneil]

"It's okay! How about this weekend?"

(Then nothing for the 4 days it takes to reply).

This is what my girlfriend wrote when I flaked and I thought "she is a master".

 

[Reykhel]

One time, 2 years ago or so, a girl flaked on me. I simply replied "b1tch," and that made her interested, and she told me as such. Ended up getting with her in bed a few times. I wouldn't actually do this if you care about the girl. But generally, if a girl flakes, I lose interest because I can't deal with flakes.

Reykhel approves because this is authentic.

There's no "approval seeking" theres no fear of looking "butthurt" (which I don't understand at all.....doing something or not doing something so as not to appear "butthurt"......surely there's too much caring going on there....

There's authenticity and no fvck's given attitude. Yes you're a bytch for flaking. Next.

Someone also wrote here before that the uses something like "LMFAO SFS"

.....the girl end up being driven crazy about what the SFS stood for and she was correct.....it did stand for "stupid fvcking sloot"

"that was mean" she apparently playfully said to him when she did make the effort to meet...

 

[Solomon]

I would say something that says to her that you are not waiting by to see of she is willing to give you a piece or sliver of her time.

Say something that says you are a busy guy. You know you are the prize , and you ship will leave port even if she isn't on it.

Your time is valuable.
You are making time to fit her in.
You have a life and things to do.
You have options and don't care either way if she is part of them.

If she doesn't see your value then she will never respect you.

^^^This, I work 70 hours a week and run 3 businesses last time a woman flaked her reason was because she went drinking with her girlfriends the night before and still "tired". She shot me a text at 2pm and mind you our date wasn't suppose to be until 8:30 (this is on a Saturday)

I wake up at 4 am. Run 3-5 miles, Edit videos/Consult with clients than work another 10 hours. To me this is a lack of interest

I responded to her by saying

"I'm going to have to respectfully decline but I take my time very serious because it's valuable good luck on your search"

^^^do I say this to every woman? no my responses differ depending on their reason (sometimes I don't respond)

When you have dealt with very high interested women they will move water and earth to see you (I had a woman 3 weeks ago see me at 5am in the morning just so she could suck the D.....She's a CNA at a hospital who works overnights)

why would I waste my time on a woman who isn't interested when there are more? especially when she went out drinking that's a lame excuse and lack of interest

Abundance is a real thing

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

"Your living situation isn't my problem, we have plans and if you do not intend to keep them, forget it."

Set the boundaries early, no bs

 

[SW15]

No response.

If a woman flakes on a date prior to sex, she's eliminated herself.

 

[Solomon]

"Your living situation isn't my problem, we have plans and if you do not intend to keep them, forget it."

Set the boundaries early, no bs

This guy gets it!

It's about boundaries

In 2021 this whole "Ok" and wait a week doesn't work if a woman is interested she will see you
Guys have to stop worrying about "well you look butthurt" I don't see a man valuing his time or having boundaries as being butthurt as long as he doesn't send her paragraphs of text or cussing her out especially for a first date

 

[bat soup]

Everything was good in the run up to out date and yesterday when I said I was starting work, she said "Have a nice shift, see you tomorrow " so all good, but 5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

Now I know this date will never happen or she doesn't actually want to go through with it as she didn't offer an alternate day, but what's the BEST matured response to flaking like this?

Everything was OK until it was time for her to actually do something, like show up for a date, which is when the BS and lies started. Best response: "OK". Leave it at that unless she suggests meeting another time, which she probably won't.

By the way, I wouldn't believe a word of that BS excuse. It doesn't even make sense - you have a fight with your housemate and therefore want to sit at home with them all evening?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

What's the best response to someone who flakes on the date?

Why do you care?
If they flake on you = they do not respect you or your time.

So again, why do you care about people that doesn't respect you?

 

[bat soup]

I'm sorry, I can't make it tonight because my television exploded so I'm just going to stay home watching television.

 

[Snag87]

I give a simple "I understand"

 

[Georgepithyou]

I follow the one strike and your out rule, once a flake always a flake no more second chances

 

[Black Widow Void]

Everything was good in the run up to out date and yesterday when I said I was starting work, she said "Have a nice shift, see you tomorrow " so all good, but 5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

Now I know this date will never happen or she doesn't actually want to go through with it as she didn't offer an alternate day, but what's the BEST matured response to flaking like this?

If you are certain that a future date will not occur, I'd not respond. However, if you do, then why worry about her opinion of maturity.

If me, I'd respond with
No worries, tell your roommate that I said "thank you."

--- then you do not respond to any message afterward.

 

[Romanemp22]

Moving on.

 

[Clamslammer]

"Cool, no worries"

Then wait a week or so to see if she reaches back out to re-schedule. If she doesn't, you can hit her up one last time but I wouldn't count on it.

No..no..no...

Never hit a chick back up. Know your damn value men. She canceled on you, thats okay. She did not flake. Flake is someone that does not show up. Your response should be " no problem, maybe we can try some other time"

She has to reach out and ask you out. You don't wait a week to ask her out. You move the f on

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Best response is No response.

Indeed.
If they don't care then you don't care....