What's the best response to someone who flakes on the date?

[fmfan08]

Everything was good in the run up to out date and yesterday when I said I was starting work, she said "Have a nice shift, see you tomorrow " so all good, but 5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

Now I know this date will never happen or she doesn't actually want to go through with it as she didn't offer an alternate day, but what's the BEST matured response to flaking like this?

 

[Building_and_Loan]

"Cool, no worries"

Then wait a week or so to see if she reaches back out to re-schedule. If she doesn't, you can hit her up one last time but I wouldn't count on it.

 

[Urbanyst]

Let me tell you.. women flake on me all the time and end up going out with me later. Usually its a sh*t test to see if you're desperate or just after sex.

If you get mad, try too hard to schedule the next date or give up.. you fail the test.

The best response is "Ok". Then ask her out again in a week. Its best to limit communication with women when you are not physically with them. Trust me.

 

[dude99]

Everything was good in the run up to out date and yesterday when I said I was starting work, she said "Have a nice shift, see you tomorrow " so all good, but 5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

Now I know this date will never happen or she doesn't actually want to go through with it as she didn't offer an alternate day, but what's the BEST matured response to flaking like this?

"No problem. I made other plans."

 

[fmfan08]

How would "No problem, maybe some other time. Let me know if you're schedule frees up" sound?

 

[dude99]

How would "No problem, maybe some other time. Let me know if you're schedule frees up" sound?

I would say something that says to her that you are not waiting by to see of she is willing to give you a piece or sliver of her time.

Say something that says you are a busy guy. You know you are the prize , and you ship will leave port even if she isn't on it.

Your time is valuable.
You are making time to fit her in.
You have a life and things to do.
You have options and don't care either way if she is part of them.

If she doesn't see your value then she will never respect you.

 

[RangerMIke]

"Reach out if you want to reschedule." Then I forget about her, unless she gets in touch. Otherwise I just assume she isn't interested and move onto the next one.

 

[wifehunter]

Nothing, she didn't show. You made other backup plans.

 

[Tenacity]

What's the best response to someone who flakes on the date?

There isn't an overall "best" response because women flake for various reasons.

If she does it one time where she reschedules like that, I'll let it slide. If she does it AGAIN (back to back) or if I am just having a difficult time getting the girl to move forward.......I delete her number. It could be that she's not interested, it could be a deliberate shyt test, or it could be that the girl is actually busy.......I don't know, all I do know is that I'm unable to get any sex or companionship out of her so she serves no purpose in my life.

 

[Trump]

"Cool, no worries"

Nope, you can't say this.

1) How is it cool she bailed on your date?
2) Who said she is worried?

"No problem, I made other plans."

Nope, you can't say this.

1) Its "no problem" she bailed on your date? Come on guys. Do you like being alone?

2) "I made other plans." You are over compensating. How did you make other plans the second she bailed on your date? You are trying to play it off as cool and it looks bad, she knows you are lying.

"No problem, I'll just set something up for another time."

1) Again, how it is it "no problem?" She will pocket it and use it against you. If the girl was good looking, I would be pretty upset.

2) You went out of your way to meet her, set up a date, get dressed up. She tells you forget about it the day of, and you tell her "I'll try to set something up again?" Now you have belittled yourself and owe her down the line.

Guys, when they tell you to go to Hell the day of the date, a response is not warranted. Anything you say after will make you look foolish. Let them get emotional, you just sit back and watch.

 

[sazc]

"Cool, no worries"

Then wait a week or so to see if she reaches back out to re-schedule. If she doesn't, you can hit her up one last time but I wouldn't count on it.

If we are voting, I like this one. It makes you seem chill and, if she is interested, she will counter at some point in the next week or so.

 

[Trump]

How would she use it against me if I don't care?

Come on bro, how could you actually "not care"? I'm going out with a good looking girl I'm attracted to and she bails on me and I don't care? Laying it on a little thick.

It isn't a problem because I don't get dressed up for dates and I don't "get upset", and neither should you.

You don't dress up for dates? You are that casual on a first date with a good looking girl? Well then you have amazing amazing game. I'm not talking suit and tie, but not shorts and sandles either.

If I was attracted to her, I wouldn't be "oh cool, now I can hang out with my buddies." and I doubt any man on SS or in this country would be. Are we trying to fool ourselves by thinking we are too cool?

I am already on to all the other $hit going on in my life and she is now a low priority, if she is lucky.

Come on bro, what do you have to do that are you so busy on a Friday night to go out with a good looking girl? Good looking cancels on us and we don't get disappointed. We are that valuable to them...

Your last sentence shows that you are pedestalizing the more attractive girls. No matter how hot she is, you should not give a $hit, you should be walking away and feeling bad for her and what she lost out on.

I'm pedestalizing girls because I'm disappointed a girl I was really attracted to cancelled our Friday night date?

I know we say "her loss, I am the prize, she is lucky to be with me, etc, etc, etc, but we are kidding ourselves. Every guy on this site would be disappointed a good looking girl they were attracted cancelled on them. That doesn't mean to supplicate. That means they are limited amount of good looking girls out there to sleep with.

 

[Konada]

"No worries, I understand."

Hit her up a week later. In my experience, girls rarely "let you know" again that early in the dating phase. That only works when she is invested in you.

It doesn't matter whether a girl is hot, if she gives me drama/flaky BS she is a low priority on my list. Not sure about ugly chicks because I don't deal with them anyway

 

[devilkingx2]

if a girl flakes on you without a bulletproof excuse or a counteroffer she either has zero interest or a terrible personality. you don't respond at all, or just give her a "k" and delete her number then move on.

flaking on you is almost like a worse version of never texting you back

even if she was going to say yes to the next date (which she wouldn't because she couldn't even be bothered to show up or keep her plans with the last one):

A) it'd be beta as **** to be at her beck and call (beckoned call?) like that.

B) why would she show up to this one but not the last one? what changed in between? why did her interest plummet then spike like that?

 

[cola]

"You better make it up to me" ..

 

[Glassguy]

For a first date scenario:

Flake + no specific counter offer = no response

Why even waste time with a response back to her blowing you off?

She has my number. If she wants to work herself back in good graces she can reach out later.

 

[SmooveMooves]

"Another time."

Then, mentally next her. Don't delete her # cause she could potentially turn into some late night bored and lonely sex. Let her reach out.

 

[BeExcellent]

I like "Cool, no worries" because it comes off as chill.

It's a pretty neutral response. It also doesn't sound contrived and doesn't place expectations on anyone.

You have to remember y'all don't know each other yet. She's not attached to you or invested in you at all yet.

So it's best to be unruffled and cool about it.

Hit her up one more time & if that doesn't go, then bail.

 

[bigneil]

No response is appropriate. If she cares enough to double text, try again.

Or maybe try this: "I think we should just be friends".

 

[El Payaso]

5 hours before our date today she sent a text saying "Hey, had a huge fight with my housemate/best friend and honestly I feel like crap. Can we postpone the date for tonight? Really don't feel like going out. Sorry".

I have to say, that's probably one of the most honest flake text I've ever read. Most women usually make up some excuse about having some family event or what not. At least she said point blank that she doesn't feel like going out.

Respond with "Okay. No worries."