What's Her Interest Level? Confused.

jamesfromhouston

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
336
Reaction score
336
Location
Houston
Hey bros.

Would like to know the IL of this girl I recently met:

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.
- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.
- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

I'm confused. I understand actions speak more than words. But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.
 
Last edited:

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,546
Reaction score
2,243
Location
NYC
As a general rule, since I haven't read your post just yet, if you're ever confused about a woman's interest level:

1. She's not interested
2. She's crazy
3. She's interested but starring in her own season of The Bachelorette

Those are the top 3 most likely possibilities, however other situations may occur.
 

isasda66

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Messages
246
Reaction score
173
Age
28
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
This was your mistake. Even if she invites you the next day and it wasnt you inviting her dont go for it. Subconsciously they think you have too much free time which means you must not be that great.

Maybe the meeting friends makes it seem to quick for her. She may think you want something more while she doesnt want to.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
52
Hey bros.

Would like to know the IL of this girl I recently met:

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.
- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.
- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

I'm confused. I understand actions speak more than words. But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.
Give it a week of space then ask her out again. The next day may have seemed a bit thirsty to her. After a week ask her out again if she acts distant again i think you have your answer.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,101
Reaction score
4,963
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
Next day and with your friends was probably too much too soon. She barely knows you and don't know your friends at all, she probably had no clue how to deal with that and it made her uncomfortable. Constantly looking around the room is textbook behavior when someone is uncomfortable.

Being affectionate and being uncomfortable are conflicting emotions, so that's why everything felt weak. She was too uncomfortable with the situation to focus on affection.

You should have waited before seeing her again, but the bigger issue is that you shouldn't have introduced your friends so soon.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,252
Reaction score
4,747
Age
44
Hey bros.

Would like to know the IL of this girl I recently met:

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.
- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.
- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

I'm confused. I understand actions speak more than words. But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.
If you're confused then her interest level is zero.
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
2,454
Age
124
Hey bros.

Would like to know the IL of this girl I recently met:

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.
- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.
- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

I'm confused. I understand actions speak more than words. But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.
just so you know , in order to be successful on tinder you have to basically be a boring guy

when you meet in reality and scale things up , then the woman will not know which is the real you

so she will be uncomfortable :)
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,825
Reaction score
4,127
Wait at least one day before the next date. After sealing the deal you can relax a bit with this rule.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,668
Reaction score
15,826
Seems like you are way more into her than she is into you and you invited her out the next night which makes you seem like you have no other options. She senses desperation with a guy trying to GF her up after one date.

Also, if you have to wonder what her interest level is after two dates and are "confused", it's nowhere near high enough.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,252
Reaction score
4,747
Age
44
Hey bros.

Would like to know the IL of this girl I recently met:

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.
- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.
- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.
- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

I'm confused. I understand actions speak more than words. But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.
One thing I notice is that you kokblocked yourself by bring along your friends. It's a very bad idea to bring friend along to a date. Maybe she was happy escalating with you in private, but not now that a bunch of strange guys are watching her.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,705
Reaction score
8,656
Age
47
Back off of her and see if she comes around. Zero contact. If she reaches out, great. Don't be so ambitious to go out with her. Play it cool.
If she doesn't reach out, hit her up in a week or two if at all.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

jamesfromhouston

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
336
Reaction score
336
Location
Houston
Hey everybody.

Thank you all for responding.

So it turns out it was a combination of what most of you were saying.

Just an update from my side for anyone who ever find themselves in the same rut:

- She eventually reached out to me on her own and asked me out for some drinks at this new bar that opened.
- So it was just me and her and this time it was very clear she is very interested. Starry eyes again.
- The bar being new was quiet and mostly empty; so we were back to that initial level of passion again.
- Yet when I kissed her outside in the street, she was more reserved.
** So it seems to me that she has an issue with public affection. **
To be honest this is really new for me because I've never had an issue with girls in terms of public affection. Maybe I've been lucky. But I' always thought if you're really into someone, public affection is unstoppable. So I will see how this goes.

Anyway, I DO THINK, that what most of you were saying is right, especially @catsmeow (btw I've always really loved your sharing on the forum).

I should have let it simmer on for longer to really get the butterflies going again.

But funnily enough, despite the fact that we had met frequently, the level of energy seems quite high, meaning the IL might be very high.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,668
Reaction score
15,826
Hey everybody.

Thank you all for responding.

So it turns out it was a combination of what most of you were saying.

Just an update from my side for anyone who ever find themselves in the same rut:

- She eventually reached out to me on her own and asked me out for some drinks at this new bar that opened.
- So it was just me and her and this time it was very clear she is very interested. Starry eyes again.
- The bar being new was quiet and mostly empty; so we were back to that initial level of passion again.
- Yet when I kissed her outside in the street, she was more reserved.
** So it seems to me that she has an issue with public affection. **
To be honest this is really new for me because I've never had an issue with girls in terms of public affection. Maybe I've been lucky. But I' always thought if you're really into someone, public affection is unstoppable. So I will see how this goes.

Anyway, I DO THINK, that what most of you were saying is right, especially @catsmeow (btw I've always really loved your sharing on the forum).

I should have let it simmer on for longer to really get the butterflies going again.

But funnily enough, despite the fact that we had met frequently, the level of energy seems quite high, meaning the IL might be very high.
The only way you'll know her interest level is high is if she fvcks you. Until then it's all conjecture. Many a woman has acted head over heels up until the time to get naked comes and then you find it's all a rouse, then the back away, the ghost, the LJBF starts...

So far so good...just saying don't let it get to your head too much until you fvck her. Everything else doesn't matter.
 

Steno

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2022
Messages
72
Reaction score
77
Be careful with going on so many dates with her in such a short time span. I don't recommend going on more than 1 date per week, especially since you guys just started seeing each other. After like a month you can slowly increase it, but only if things are going well and you want to slowly transition it into a more serious relationship.

At the pace your going you might end up in a relationship too fast, take your time to feel things out because you might not be compatible.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,668
Reaction score
15,826
You're right.

In terms of term of sexual escalation; still a bit hesitant.

Maybe she's in it for the attention.

Let's see how it goes.
3rd date heading to a 4th. The clock is ticking my man and it's not in your favor at this point.

What are you hesitant for? Hopefully this doesn't turn into another situation after the 6th date and nothing happened and then you wonder why she is losing interest...
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Top