What would you estimate your rejection rate is?

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
Its really not alarming. Its human nature. Here are a few ways to look at it:

-How many times does a guy on the street have to give his sales pitch before someone signs up? I bet the rejection rate is pretty similar.

-When I sold my last house, I had over 20 people come look at it. Three made similar offers, and I only accepted one of them because they brought more cash to the table and were less dependent on financing.

-When I walk into a public place I always scan the crowd for attractive women. Its very rare that there are more than 10% of the women there that I would even consider dating based on attractiveness. So on looks alone I have rejected 90% of the women there.

-Do you think a landlord accepts anyone that walks thru the door and wants to rent his property? For every 10 people that call, he won't even bother showing a property to half of those. Out of the remaining 5 there will be 2 or 3 suitable prospects that he thinks will pay rent on time, pass a credit check, and take care of his place. So 70-80% got rejected.

-According to google, a car salesman gets rejected by 70-80% of the people looking for cars.

The more you interact with the public, the more you understand rejection is actually pretty common.

ps. And this singles meet you went to you only asked one girl for her number and she declined. And you left mad after talking to the fat girl. You aren't even putting in the work it takes. I hope what I've shared puts things in perspective and you realize you are looking at this all wrong. Rejection is part of it.
The last straw that drove me to slam the doors wasn't the rejection from the skinny broad (or the fact the fat chick never offered me her digits). The last straw was the fact all the other broads I wanted to shoot my shot on were already getting chatted up by other men.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,754
Reaction score
3,172
Location
US
Rejection to what?
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,478
Reaction score
11,352
If I were to consider my swipe app rejection rate when I was on swipe apps, my soft rejections in real life, and my hard, direct rejections, my rejection rate would be over 90%.

Most leading PUAs have mentioned their rejection rates. Roosh used to mention how he took a ridiculous amount of rejection. Tom Torero used to say that daygamers would need to approach 75+ women to find sex. Mostly every approacher has gotten rejected a lot. The highest volume approachers take the most rejections.
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
If I were to consider my swipe app rejection rate when I was on swipe apps, my soft rejections in real life, and my hard, direct rejections, my rejection rate would be over 90%.

Most leading PUAs have mentioned their rejection rates. Roosh used to mention how he took a ridiculous amount of rejection. Tom Torero used to say that daygamers would need to approach 75+ women to find sex. Mostly every approacher has gotten rejected a lot. The highest volume approachers take the most rejections.
If you exclude swipe apps, what would you estimate your rejection rate is (asking because my cited rate doesn't include swipe apps)?

I totally believe a guy looking for sex through cold approaches might have to approach 75 broads before getting sex.

As far as getting a date, on the other hand, I wonder how many approaches a man would have to make (as a woman is more likely to consider a mere date through a cold approach than jumping straight to bed through a cold approach)
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,677
Reaction score
1,163
Age
35
Some guy on here was telling me 90% of men get rejected 90% of the time.

I'd say the topic warrants a thread of its own.

Although I admit I could be wrong, I have my doubts about his claim. As a man who's been rejected over 90% of the time (and has extremely low self-esteem because of it), I was under the impression a lot of men have rejection rates closer to 50/50.

So I'd like to hear everyone's input.
"Rejection" implies that someone else's behavior is PRIMAIRLY responsible for our hurt fee fees. Not so: Our own (frequently distorted and insane)INTERPRETAIONS of events dictate how much, if any emotional pain, we experience over them

Talking here "She rejected me" vs "I approached this girl in the produce aisle, and she threw a pineapple at me, instead of doing what I would've preferred.... Drop her jeans and thong right there in the shop, and invite me to go to town on both her poonany and as-hole"

In the latter, you're taking accountability for your own thoughts and emotions, rather than giving someone else most of the power
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,072
Reaction score
8,919
While I've done random approaches, I've also expressed interest in my fair share of broads I already knew. Yet I still have an over 90% rejection rate.
Again, it depends on your approach. Some guys won't make a move unless they're very sure of the results. I know some guys here wait until they've put in the work, and gotten sufficient IOIs back to know that they'll accept a date, or hangout, or whatever it is you kids do these days.
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
On the general topic of rejection vs success, a female coworker gave a clue she finds me attractive today.

She sent me a message on our work chat asking me why I added my middle name to my email signature.

I answered her question.

She then said "There's an employee here whose first name is your middle name. He isn't attractive at all. You don't want anyone to mix you up with him. I recommend you remove your middle name from your email signature"
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,478
Reaction score
11,352
If you exclude swipe apps, what would you estimate your rejection rate is (asking because my cited rate doesn't include swipe apps)?
Around 90%, but more of my rejections are soft rejection than hard rejections
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
Around 90%, but more of my rejections are soft rejection than hard rejections
I must ask: How do you continue trucking along, knowing you're far more likely to fail than succeed?
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,060
Reaction score
832
Age
39
.

I cant speak for OLD concepts because I don't dabble with it nowadays.

But as for cold approaches; I keep accurate stats on it, so I can tell you exactly what my success/failure rates are.

First, you have to set realistic expectations and goals for yourself.

My aim is to have at least a 30% smash rate.

That is, out of every 10 women I approach, I expect to be able to successfully provide my phone number (and have a short, meaningful conversation with at least 3 of them afterwards).

And of those 3, I need to smash at least one of them.
.....

I conduct my approaches in increments of 20, until I reach 100...and then I start over, although I keep the overall results (in ratio) of every 100 filed.

I keep stats of every increment and monitor the trends.
.....

I am currently on my second increment of 100...but my first increment of 100 goes a little something like this...

I approached 102 women (went over by 2 for that one).

Out of 102 women of whom identified as single and accepted my phone number, and of whom called me and expressed interest..

39/102
Success percentage: 38%

So, I exceeded my expectations.

However, I'm not out of the woods yet, because just because they called me and we had a short, meaningful conversation; doesn't mean that they will be receptive to my direct, bold approach.

So, of those 39 women, how many did I engage in physical, intimate contact after my approach?

Well..

8/39
Success percentage: 20%

Failed to meet expectations of at least 30%, and should that trend continue, I'll have to tweak my methods a little, and I know just what to do. :cool:
...

But yeah, I've always been a stat head, especially with sports.

I keep stats to monitor my progress and it pays dividends.
....

I even keep tabs on my monthly compliments that I receive on my body game..averaging at least 6 compliments per month...which is about 1.5 per week.

Crazy, I know.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,293
Reaction score
4,665
When I was doing pickups at places that were not structured singles events (including church dances) without getting any type of IOI, I would say I was at about a 5% yield in getting the digits, and with NOTHING ever coming of it - oh, and then there were the total wipeout nights of going 0-14, 0-22. :mad: It is easy to just give up rather than go through all that with nothing to show for it - such non-stop rejection eventually wears down the soul.

Marty explains this to his mother:

 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,478
Reaction score
11,352
I must ask: How do you continue trucking along, knowing you're far more likely to fail than succeed?
Every man passionate about seduction deals with this. Both the top level seducers and the more middle of the bell curve seducers deal with it. It is the motivation to get sex and get sex on a regular basis.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
Every man passionate about seduction deals with this. Both the top level seducers and the more middle of the bell curve seducers deal with it. It is the motivation to get sex and get sex on a regular basis.
In that case, a good follow up question (if you don't mind): In a good year, how many broads do you bang?

My best year (by far) was 2012. I nailed 6 broads (all free). I could have upped the count to 8 that year if it weren't for the 2 broads I chickened out with while naked in bed.

The 6 broads I nailed that year (as well as the 2 I chickened out with), were entirely from tech methods, however.

Even with my social awkwardness, it's pretty alarming I had to rely entirely on tech methods to get cooch (or offers of cooch) in college. I was a 7.49 at 18, which only dropped to a 7.25 at 23 (to give you an idea of where I was on the looks scale in college)
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,757
Reaction score
3,727
On the general topic of rejection vs success, a female coworker gave a clue she finds me attractive today.

She sent me a message on our work chat asking me why I added my middle name to my email signature.

I answered her question.

She then said "There's an employee here whose first name is your middle name. He isn't attractive at all. You don't want anyone to mix you up with him. I recommend you remove your middle name from your email signature"
What made that other guy unattractive to them? You sound hesitant to make a move at work where they think you are attractive?
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
1,592
Reaction score
479
What made that other guy unattractive to them? You sound hesitant to make a move at work where they think you are attractive?
I'm not attracted to this woman at all. In fact, off the top of my head, she's the only woman in my office I don't even feel a slight attraction to. She's late 50s, looks 75, and is married (so I don't think she's seriously looking to get with me; she was merely making a suggestion that she thinks I have good looks)

As for what made the other guy ugly to her, she never said. I agree with her assessment though; he isn't attractive (not fat or bald or old; he just doesn't have good looks)
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,757
Reaction score
3,727
I'm not attracted to this woman at all. In fact, off the top of my head, she's the only woman in my office I don't even feel a slight attraction to. She's late 50s, looks 75, and is married (so I don't think she's seriously looking to get with me; she was merely making a suggestion that she thinks I have good looks)

As for what made the other guy ugly to her, she never said. I agree with her assessment though; he isn't attractive (not fat or bald or old; he just doesn't have good looks)
Wow. That is bizarre, and really puts into issue work dynamics. An ugly old lady working at an office (ie you are not even slightly attracted to...so that has to be bad since you mentioned you like older woman, and are not picky at all), to look down on another guy like that (ie which is probably her looksmatch, but thinks you are okay...have a bigger SMV than she does so she's more entitled to you?) just shows how bad everything is even on the dating market.

Unless this guy made a creep-move or something like that, it is hard to see why everyone is that down on him, to even have a reputation, simply because of how he looks. You would think even an old and ugly woman would be a "safe base" with him and she is the one that said that.

Well, it means you are attractive to women you don't like at least? What about the woman who you ARE attracted to? Do they also like you like this lady does or do you think it's because you have a way higher SMV than she does, that you just have a "bubble" with this lady.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,757
Reaction score
3,727
Rejection rate is 100%. Asked one girl out this year, got rejected. Therefore, one attempt, one rejection, 100%.

Then I guess there is the saying, is you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Guess that doesn't help either, but maybe that can also contribute to the rejection rate as well. On the other hand, there is no negative fall-out from that rejection, so it doesn't really mean anything.

I do have a score metrix that takes into account how women are responding to me in the environment (ie conferences, work, public, it has to be a strong enough interaction where I can remember the lady's name) and have a range of this matrix between - 10 to + 10. Last check it was somewhere between 0 to -1. It doesn't factor in if I actually ask anyone out, but looks at other things which either help or hurt the ego as a whole. You could feel good or bad depending within an environment regardless of if you ask anyone out or not. I mean, if you feel bad or intimidated to ask anyone out, then you could argue that a non-verbal rejection, or generally feeling you are not attractive/unwelcome might just come like rejection in and of itself.
 
Top