Read through it briefly, but seems like it's mostly nitpicking and whining rather than a full crisis per say. There's a lot of acknowledgement from her that her husband does do a lot, but it seems like she's frustrated at needing to micromanage and remind him to replace certain things. She sees things out of place that he does not (or does not acknowledge as needing done). This seems pretty common for men vs women, women always seem to have a better eye or keenness on that level.
Having been military, I can specifically relate to the frustration and desire for people to clean up their own **** and not need a steady reminder of 'Hey, pick up your stuff'. Most people are pretty good for maintaining tidiness once trained for that. But I wouldn't expect most people to naturally be aware to keep to that level of tidiness. I don't maintain that now, that's for sure.
What would I do? Honestly... I'd try to get my initiative up about it, to be more observant about tidiness, or at least up to the level of taking care of my own disorganization. Hopefully not at the explicit urging of her, or to overly expand and be maintaining all occurances (without her help any further, as an example). Then it could be seen as a bit of her holding that whip over you or whatever. It's not entirely unfounded her frustrations, if true (such as 'When my husband brushes out tangles before bedtime, he needs his efforts noticed and congratulated'). But how the guy responds, if he does choose to acquiesce, needs to be figured carefully. So as to not appear to only do so because she was whining/complaining. Then it could subtly teach her that that complaint is an effective communication method.
In the end, the main thing is that these tasks do need completing (i.e. it's not just busy work). And eventually someone will have to take care of it. Either you or her. Working together and having initiative to accomplish those tasks is a virtue in any case.
