What to think of that ! Am I paranoid ?!

[yoyoing]

Hey guys !
Once again I ask my fellow males friend for advices !

I have been dating this nice thin hb 7,5 for a couple of months now !
Things have been going well in general but now I have a bit of a dilemma.

She has a good position working for a software company and she has to go on business trip rather frequently lately. After leaving once for Boston last month she left again this week and I learned she was just with her boss this time and that they did not get hotel room but a house together wtf .

Now she has to leave again for 1 week in Another country and she is leaving with him again. My little finger is telling me he is trying to get into her pants. I can almost guarantee it has not happened yet but I know she admire him a lot.

I am not the jealous type at all but this is bordering me a little .
Any Imput.
Ultimately I don't really care if something happen I will just move on to something else but I have to admit that from past experience where I was letting girls do what they want because on a scale to 0-10 On the jealousy scale I am maybe a 1 and I might have let girls a bit too much space to play behind my back etc . I don't want this to happen again .

How would you guys deal with a similar situation ?!

Btw sry for imperfect english It's only a second language !

 

[Yewki]

After leaving once for Boston last month she left again this week and I learned she was just with her boss this time and that they did not get hotel room but a house together wtf.

Now she has to leave again for 1 week in Another country and she is leaving with him again

Usually business trips are quick 1-3 day things, not entire week long trips. Kinda suggests they were going for leisure. And renting an entire house for two people is odd, especially when one is male and the other is female. That is not very professional, but I don't know the work environment, how they run things in her company, how she regards her boss, etc. What you're describing sounds more like vacations and is indeed suspicious.

IMO the best thing for you to do is get more info. Calmly question her about these details. Bust her balls a bit but keep it playful, i.e. "You guys rented an entire house for just one little business trip? Talk about fancy... do they do this for all the trips?" Interrogate her a bit. See if she contradicts herself or stumbles to explain things.

A good curve ball to throw at her, ask if you can buy a plane ticket and tag along for the upcoming trip. Even if you're not serious, she how she reacts.

At the end of the day you have to go with your gut (unless you can prove it). You're the best one to answer this.

 

[yoyoing]

Yeah like I said I am almost 100 % positive she did not cheat on that trip but I was still a little weirded out that they only went the 2 of them and that instead of renting a hotel room the guy got a freaking condo or similar ....

Now she is going on another trip and will probably stay at a friend house and she did invite me on numerous occasion so that's why I think nothing has happened yet.

I did sounded surprise when she told me they had a house ...
The guy has a wife and daughter but my gf is very innocent and young.
I also understand she has a good position in the business but why does SHE has to go on those trip and alone with the guy ... Sounds like he wants to get in her pants ...

It's a tough situation to deal with because if I bring it up more and question her I will look very insecure ... But not saying anything will also looks like I approve ...
I already did bust her ball a bit with it ...

I was very surprise that they where also going to be only the 2 of them on that trip ... It's oversea so that's why they are staying longer and she might stay at a friend .

She is also very impressed by him ... I don't want to leave too much detail in case he also read that forum : )))

Thanks for answer

 

[AttackFormation]

We can't confirm it but it's obviously a textbook cheating scenario.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

We can't confirm it but it's obviously a textbook cheating scenario.

True that.

Thing about it even if she isn't cheating, which is possible. She should not be more than happy to put you into that position with the "appearance".

These people can stay in two different places if it's business and meet up during the day to do real business collaboration or whatever they are really supposed to be doing.

What's more likely is the boss is "grooming" your wife if nothing has happened yet. She probably wanted to travel now he is letting it happen.

 

[cola]

Its a tough situation because if you start probing and asking a million questions about the nature of these trips you look insecure..
Id just go with the flow, if she is, you'll know. The way she treats you will change. For now just chill.

 

[MLU]

Next her!!......
lol just kidding. Dude you know your gf if she's cheating (just like the guys said) you'll know, TRUST THE GUT

 

[yoyoing]

True that.

Thing about it even if she isn't cheating, which is possible. She should not be more than happy to put you into that position with the "appearance".

These people can stay in two different places if it's business and meet up during the day to do real business collaboration or whatever they are really supposed to be doing.

What's more likely is the boss is "grooming" your wife if nothing has happened yet. She probably wanted to travel now he is letting it happen.

Exactly what I am thinking .... Anyways the guy in my eye is not super attractive ( not at all ) but he is successful in what he does etc .

I feel like my gf is/was not looking at all to cheat at this point but it has been 3 times in the last month in a half . The first time she left with another colleague of her in a car . The second time it was just him and her and they where suppose to have a hotel but he rented a house/condo etc to save money...

And now the other business trip witch I tough was with other work people is also with him again although they might not live together on that one.

Btw she is not my wife but a recent girlfriend ... Things are going well in general .

I am not sure at this point if I want a relationship even tough I like her a lot .... I want to focus on business and other personal issues so I might end it before the trip.

It feels like a 2 options scenario ... I flip out and tell her this **** is wack and suspicious . Or do nothing and wait it out .

Lol tough case scenario I am usually resourceful in different scenario but this one has me scratching my head .

I am 99% sure nothing happen between them at the present moment but I don't know how much longer will this last ...

 

[Spyr0]

Has she spoken to you about exclusivity?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Exactly what I am thinking .... Anyways the guy in my eye is not super attractive ( not at all ) but he is successful in what he does etc .

I feel like my gf is/was not looking at all to cheat at this point but it has been 3 times in the last month in a half . The first time she left with another colleague of her in a car . The second time it was just him and her and they where suppose to have a hotel but he rented a house/condo etc to save money...

And now the other business trip witch I tough was with other work people is also with him again although they might not live together on that one.

Btw she is not my wife but a recent girlfriend ... Things are going well in general .

I am not sure at this point if I want a relationship even tough I like her a lot .... I want to focus on business and other personal issues so I might end it before the trip.

It feels like a 2 options scenario ... I flip out and tell her this **** is wack and suspicious . Or do nothing and wait it out .

Lol tough case scenario I am usually resourceful in different scenario but this one has me scratching my head .

I am 99% sure nothing happen between them at the present moment but I don't know how much longer will this last ...

Dude its been two days since you made this thread and you still haven't followed the second posts advice. Quit being a pucci and interrogate her. Idk why you prefer to **** around and say I don't think she cheated on me. Judging by how you have been acting in this topic, I wouldn't be surprised if these business trips are just badly disguised fvck trips.

 

[yoyoing]

Yes we kind of have ... I know it's what she expected and she ask me if we were bf/ gf.
She mentioned kissing a guy when we first start dating because she wanted to be honest .. Less then a month after meeting her and I hinted that I also had stuff happened on my side but that from this point on we were ''exlusive''....

She asked many time for me to come on the trip with her also ...

Anyways like I said I might drop the relationship for a while for personnal reason and maybe later we can reconnect.

I tought it was an interesting situation because it's hard to know the good way to proceed . If you don't say nothing and make like you don't care she will think you don't like her enough and if you freak out you look a bit intense and it might push her into cheating even more.

Anyways this guy is a little fishy plus I am not sure why she has to go on that next trip from a business perspective. He is also thinking of leaving the business and ask her if she would follow him ... Also hinted a better position and substantial raise.

 

[yoyoing]

Dude its been two days since you made this thread and you still haven't followed the second posts advice. Quit being a pucci and interrogate her. Idk why you prefer to **** around and say I don't think she cheated on me. Judging by how you have been acting in this topic, I wouldn't be surprised if these business trips are just badly disguised fvck trips.

Ok my man !!
First we have not seen eachother and second I already asked a bit before and I already know the answer ...
I will interrogate again when I see her it does not bother me at all to do so .

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Ok my man !!
First we have not seen eachother and second I already asked a bit before and I already know the answer ...
I will interrogate again when I see her it does not bother me at all to do so .

Is she on a trip right now? Are you sure these are business trips or is this what she is just telling you? Is there any other information you aren't tell us? You shouldn't feel insecure to ask because this is your gf and you have the right to know this information if you are sketched out. If she cares and understands than she will tell you like no problem. If she becomes defensive than you have your answer.

 

[yoyoing]

She did become a bit annoyed when I asked about it and she laugh it off saying nothing was happening with him. But she talks about him a lot like how they exercised together etc ... This might be totally platonic since the guy is much older and IMO not very attractive physically at least ...
I am a 100 % positive these where business trips ...
I will talk to her and come back with updates ...


Like I told you guys I might partially break up with her for other personnal reasons unrelated this weekend before she leave later in the month ...

 

[Alvafe]

2 choices here, don't matter how much you ask she will lie, and unless she is bad a lieing and you good at noticing it you will not know.

so your choices are or ignore this and belive on her, or you start to look around for another woman.

I would just let her go and not take her seriously, start to date other woman, also never belive any woman is naive, she knows pretty well waht she is doing is not a good thing, but she does it for 1 of 2, she want to test what you will do, or she want that guy, so you have confirmed the exclusivity better you tell her it won't work and you can't take her serious

 

[yoyoing]

2 choices here, don't matter how much you ask she will lie, and unless she is bad a lieing and you good at noticing it you will not know.

so your choices are or ignore this and belive on her, or you start to look around for another woman.

I would just let her go and not take her seriously, start to date other woman, also never belive any woman is naive, she knows pretty well waht she is doing is not a good thing, but she does it for 1 of 2, she want to test what you will do, or she want that guy, so you have confirmed the exclusivity better you tell her it won't work and you can't take her serious

To her defense it could totally be innocente on that one she does not feel she is doing anything wrong yet lol

The problem with options b is that it look very drastic if she was not cheating and just conducting business. My gut feeling is that he would probably like to bang the new girl on the block but she is also very good at her job and the only one in that office doing what she does.

Who knows ...

I will update when we get to speak...I think I will tell her she is putting me in a weird spot with those travel and that it is highly unprofessional that they stayed together in same house.

 

[yoyoing]

UPDATE

Alright so I spent a good weekend with girl.
I had a little talk about how this whole travel thing looked very suspicious and she understood where I was coming from. Told me she had not seen things that way and that she definitely think of her boss his a friend. I let her know that it was very unprofessional to stay in the same apartment etc and she kind of agreed.

over the weekend I told her it might be good not too date for a while because of personal issue on my parts. And she cried saying she didn't see her life without me and that she would do a lot to be with me. We have amazing sex and I can feel she is very into me.

Now back to this oversee trip. She will be there for a little more then a week. She will be working at the office overthere and was planning on staying at the house where employee stay when they go probably with her boss lolll ...

She told me she will go live with a friend if I am worried ...

Anyways I trust her a lot but I received a lot of pm saying I was being played etc etc ...

I have known her for 5 months and can feel she is very into me. Want to show me family , friends etc ...

She is a good girl had 1 br for a close to 10 years.

Everything is amazing but this trip rubs me the wrong way. I was not thinking about it for a while but tonight I got a little worked up thinking about it .

I don't like that she is the only one travelling with him from her office .
I don't like that she will be staying an extra weekend for leisure when her work assignment is done.
I don't like that she will be staying at some house maybe with the boss etc.
I don't like that it's been 2 business trip in the last month.

At this point I am almost 100% positive nothing happened.
The guy is much older and very far from a stud.

Anyways would like more Imput from you guys .
Do I leave this one fly under the radar and tell her she won't be travelling with this guy anymore.

It's a very tricky situation because I feel like I might have found a keeper for a ltr.

i would question her more but this will breathe insecurity ...

Weird situation . She told me about the trip 3-4 weeks ago . And she always write me while she goes away telling me how much she want me etc...
....

Anything is welcome
I will update this post has events unfold !

 

[Rival]

UPDATE

Alright so I spent a good weekend with girl.
I had a little talk about how this whole travel thing looked very suspicious and she understood where I was coming from. Told me she had not seen things that way and that she definitely think of her boss his a friend. I let her know that it was very unprofessional to stay in the same apartment etc and she kind of agreed.

over the weekend I told her it might be good not too date for a while because of personal issue on my parts. And she cried saying she didn't see her life without me and that she would do a lot to be with me. We have amazing sex and I can feel she is very into me.

Now back to this oversee trip. She will be there for a little more then a week. She will be working at the office overthere and was planning on staying at the house where employee stay when they go probably with her boss lolll ...

She told me she will go live with a friend if I am worried ...

Anyways I trust her a lot but I received a lot of pm saying I was being played etc etc ...

I have known her for 5 months and can feel she is very into me. Want to show me family , friends etc ...

She is a good girl had 1 br for a close to 10 years.

Everything is amazing but this trip rubs me the wrong way. I was not thinking about it for a while but tonight I got a little worked up thinking about it .

I don't like that she is the only one travelling with him from her office .
I don't like that she will be staying an extra weekend for leisure when her work assignment is done.
I don't like that she will be staying at some house maybe with the boss etc.
I don't like that it's been 2 business trip in the last month.

At this point I am almost 100% positive nothing happened.
The guy is much older and very far from a stud.

Anyways would like more Imput from you guys .
Do I leave this one fly under the radar and tell her she won't be travelling with this guy anymore.

It's a very tricky situation because I feel like I might have found a keeper for a ltr.

i would question her more but this will breathe insecurity ...

Weird situation . She told me about the trip 3-4 weeks ago . And she always write me while she goes away telling me how much she want me etc...
....

Anything is welcome
I will update this post has events unfold !

What PM did you get saying you are getting played?

All you worries are reasonable but they can all be explained away too.

I don't like that she is the only one travelling with him from her office . (maybe it's her job)
I don't like that she will be staying an extra weekend for leisure when her work assignment is done. (weird but maybe this isn't her say)
I don't like that she will be staying at some house maybe with the boss etc. (again maybe she has little input)
I don't like that it's been 2 business trip in the last month. (possibly just business related and nothing more)

IF you trust her then trust her until you have reason not to. IF you find messages from her boss or emails/facebook etc and you see obv. signs then I would worry.

 

[yoyoing]

Yeah Its hard to say ...
I guess I will trust her .

Any advice on how to make sure nothing happen while she is away .
I was thinking of calling her boss to let him know if he tried anything I was going to break his jaw and half : ))

I never was the jealous type but after my run in with the HPD/BDP monster last year my defenses are higher then they use to be no more playing with me...

 

[stevo]

She's a girl, she'd deny she noticed any sexual interest from her boss and ofcourse she sees him as just a friend, even after fcuking him. That's female excuse 101.

There's nothing you can do to stop her from fcuking him.

There's alot you can do to make sure she fcuks him. Like complaining about it, spilling your feelings about it, breaking up after talking about it. You just cleared her conscience.

A girl would fcuk whoever she wants to fcuk. Your question should not be how to stop her, your question should be how do I improve myself?

If your girl is taking a long trip like that, fcuk her continuously everyday if you can just before the trip. A sore pussie wont be much fun for further penetration. If her sexual appetite has been satisfied before the trip, she'll less likely to be hungry that quick.

When she's away, go out, have fun, dont contact her, let her take all the steps necessary for the two of you to keep in touch.

All in all, she can do whatever she wants. You can do whatever you want. Dont become too hungry for one girl, if you treat her like your only option, she'd fcuk her boss because you're not going anywhere.

If you treat her like an option, she'd fcuk her boss if your relationship isnt worth more than a few minutes of sexual tension.

Be in control of your emotions.

Give her a similar scenario. I'm having a party at the house when youre away, tell her some female friends slept over and the party was fun. Sheet like that rather than going "oh baby, open your eyes, your boss wants to fcuk you"