what to say when she rebuffs your date idea as 'cheap'?

[Kailex]

If someone ever...

ever

ever

referred to your GIFT of offering to spend time with them as cheap, then the only comeback is to walk away. Why waste time with some "cool line" or witty retort to someone who you'd never want to involve in your life again?

F that.

You went away for a while it seems, but since you came back, you are on fire.
I read every single response and not a single one mirrored what I would have done... which is walk away.

What is the point of a neg or trying to justify ourselves or to make up some witty line to this? Do you really want to go out with a girl who called you cheap BEFORE the first date? Do you really want to start out a "relationship" already hinged on how much money is being spent?

I'm sorry, but the last thing I want to do in this short life is WASTE my time on women that don't deserve my time. This woman DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

If this was over the phone, I'd probably would have said: You're right, it is cheap.

*CLICK*

Why waste any more time on this woman? I wouldn't even try to justify myself, try to take her out and see how good a time she could have on 5 bucks, or even try to meet up with her. If she wants someone to spend money on her, it's someone else and if it's time she wants wasted, she can waste it with someone else.

Make a blind guess how many men here would have just hung up on her. Probably VERY few. And I know that people might say that just hanging up after saying that statement might "lose the frame"... well, to you I say: WHAT FRAME?

She failed MY sh!t test already, so why would I even care?
I don't want to date her or anyone she knows.

This is someone you DON'T want to go out with.
You want to go out with a woman who not only absolutely loves YOUR idea for a date, but will want to please you so much on that first date that she just might even pay for the whole thing.

 

[loveshogun]

This is someone you DON'T want to go out with.
You want to go out with a woman who not only absolutely loves YOUR idea for a date, but will want to please you so much on that first date that she just might even pay for the whole thing.

As usual, I second Iceberg and Kailex.

Put in your clever words and move on. I still vote my bit about the manners.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Bust into a Kanye West chorus: "I ain't sayin' she a golddigger...." and then offer to replace your bottom teeth with diamonds for your next date in order to make it up to her.

If she's worth your time, she'll laugh at this, probably slap you on the arm, and the two of you will follow your original cheap plans and have a great time. Or if she hasn't heard about Kanye replacing his teeth with diamonds, you can bust on her for being out of the loop and not being up on pop culture. Which should illicit a similar response from her; laugh, slap, great time.

But if she just gets upset, then she's just blown her cover and exposed herself as a spoiled brat. In which case you might as well just drop her right there because she's going to be a pain in the ass all night no matter what you do.

 

[maqnetik]

flip the script:

ask her when shes going to take YOU out and "show you how its done"

 

[the305]

Stop going on "dates" to get to know someone, this is probably one of the worst ways to get to know someone and have it turn out in your favor

going on a date for the first real interaction is creating unnecessary pressure and judgement, a simple "you're cool, we gotta hangout sometime" - and go get some ice cream and walk around the mall doing silly stuff.

you can go on an official "date" after you guys know you're into one another, and to seal the deal with a "date" if its that type os relationship your looking for.. you dont go on dates with friends with benefits or hit it and quit it type chicks.

 

[The Experience]

Actually a good response to this would be, 'Can you give me a reason why I should spend more?'

 

[Iceberg]

Stop going on "dates" to get to know someone, this is probably one of the worst ways to get to know someone and have it turn out in your favor

going on a date for the first real interaction is creating unnecessary pressure and judgement, a simple "you're cool, we gotta hangout sometime" - and go get some ice cream and walk around the mall doing silly stuff.

you can go on an official "date" after you guys know you're into one another, and to seal the deal with a "date" if its that type os relationship your looking for.. you dont go on dates with friends with benefits or hit it and quit it type chicks.

I would agree that the word "date" puts unnecessary pressure on the situation.

I would disagree that ice cream and walking around the mall is the solution towards building or expressing sexual interest in a woman (above the age of 14).

 

[bukowski_merit]

You went away for a while it seems, but since you came back, you are on fire.
I read every single response and not a single one mirrored what I would have done... which is walk away.

What is the point of a neg or trying to justify ourselves or to make up some witty line to this? Do you really want to go out with a girl who called you cheap BEFORE the first date? Do you really want to start out a "relationship" already hinged on how much money is being spent?

I'm sorry, but the last thing I want to do in this short life is WASTE my time on women that don't deserve my time. This woman DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

If this was over the phone, I'd probably would have said: You're right, it is cheap.

*CLICK*

Why waste any more time on this woman? I wouldn't even try to justify myself, try to take her out and see how good a time she could have on 5 bucks, or even try to meet up with her. If she wants someone to spend money on her, it's someone else and if it's time she wants wasted, she can waste it with someone else.

That certainly is a viable option. Especially for people who like peace and low drama. Believe it or not - not everyone craves that though. I've grown to enjoy women who say things like this expecting the world in return - just so i can hand them a pile of sh!t =)

I love when a woman tries to prize herself to me! (which is what this woman is doing.) With the attitude of, "oh, im too good for that." Because then i get to display this magical frame control i've developed over the years.... Like, i love when women sh!t test me! I love when women bring drama! I love when they try to make me jealous! ETC... It makes me horny! Not because i enjoy that stuff, but because i enjoy the process of saying, "fvck your flaming hoops!" and soon after fvcking them!

Hanging up and never talking to her again is perfectly fine though.

Make a blind guess how many men here would have just hung up on her. Probably VERY few. And I know that people might say that just hanging up after saying that statement might "lose the frame"... well, to you I say: WHAT FRAME?

Well, you technically don't lose the frame by hanging up; you just end the frame. And you actually gain more power from that (unless she see's it as weakness; but even then - if you're taking the position that you'll never see her again - why would you care? So, win either way.)

She failed MY sh!t test already, so why would I even care?
I don't want to date her or anyone she knows.

Respectable.

This is someone you DON'T want to go out with.
You want to go out with a woman who not only absolutely loves YOUR idea for a date, but will want to please you so much on that first date that she just might even pay for the whole thing.

I like women as you describe: women who have high IL and just do whatever you want from the very beginning.
I like women who also keep their IL hidden, and make you prove that you can deal with sh!t before revealing their true IL (which is normally much higher than you expected).
Both types of women are fun to me; but fun in different ways.


Case study: I used to mess with this spoiled brat woman. Who came from money, and dated money. I am not money!

She had been through a wealthy husband (she was 25) and had an army of orbiters who she played all day long (she would often brag about how much money she convinced guys to spend on her).

Within 2 months - i had this woman completely wrapped up in me. I had HER buying me dinners, I had her showing up over my house with bottles of wine...

And she told me one night "you're the only man in my life who makes me feel like a woman."

Gold digger? Sure, but nothing to fear.

BUT, i can understand how people don't want to waste their time with such women. AND, i probably would never actually become exclusive with one. But for a good time, and sex - they're just as good as the rest (as long as you watch your wallet.)

 

[bigjohnson]

Ask her what her normal rate is.

 

[the305]

I think some of you are missing a very vital point - the girls perspective.

loveshogun, Iceberg, Kailex and others are all on the same page of.. if a girl thinks your cheap in anyway for taking HER out, you need to get rid of her, I think its WAY to premature for you to make that assumption, and here it why.

Girls have girl talk atleast 12 times a day on average(i soo made this up), if she tells her girls she went on a "date" and you took her to eat at dennys/subway/etc. DO BELIEVE you will be the talk of the week, of how cheap you are, and she will be advised to NOT see you again from her girlfriends, women ALWAYS want the best for themselves, they have guys wanting to take them out left and right, so how else are they going to weed through the losers? For some this is their way of doing that, it doesn't make them "gold diggers" necessarily

matter fact most of my girl friends who are extremely hot and some of the coolest down to earth girls i know, would not be caught dead on a date with a guy at subway or dennys, ONLY because thats the first impression, if they already went out, she wouldnt have a problem at all going to subway or dennys.

IMPRESSIONS COUNT remember that.

SOLUTION:

What can we do as guys?

One way is to frame it as a casual meetup maybe at a mall or something for you look at some outfits, you can even get her advise on what looks good on you, then you can swing by and get some ice cream.. have some really awesome conversations.. do some silly stuff like put funny glasses or hats on her, you know really hit it off.

NOW you are the talk of the girl chat as the really awesome guy shes interested in AND you even paid for her ice cream, even if it was only like 4 bucks. Was it a date? Who knows.. Who cares.. It Doesn't matter. What matters is, she is now thinking about you.

You as a guy have the power to control the situation in a way thats presented in YOUR favor, but you have to know HOW a girl thinks.

P.S. who ever stated a walk in the park and icecream doesn't move towards building or expressing sexual interest in a woman, you dont express sexual interest until she is ready, she wont be ready without rapprt and comfort, so you build that first. unless shes puts out like a porn star...

i didnt know i have to bring girls to specific places to express that i want to bang them....

 

[The Experience]

P.S. who ever stated a walk in the park and icecream doesn't move towards building or expressing sexual interest in a woman, you dont express sexual interest until she is ready, she wont be ready without rapprt and comfort, so you build that first. unless shes puts out like a porn star...

i didnt know i have to bring girls to specific places to express that i want to bang them....

Isn't kino showing sexual interest?..I don't think the focus should be on the woman since it is YOU, who is doing ALL the work. Besides, what if she's waiting for you to show sexual interest?

 

[the305]

What?

Its simple. you build rapport and comfort first, then you start flirting and sexually escalate. Thats universal across the board with exceptions of course, but its a generally a good rule to follow.

You will get put in friend zone if you escalate too early or too late, after a while you will have an intuition of when its time to escalate- it could be anywhere from 5 minutes to the 5th meetup.

I don't understand what you're trying to say....

 

[Iceberg]

I preface this by saying that I don't take you seriously. But like most trolls, your points are so full of holes that it's irresistible not to shoot them down.

I think some of you are missing a very vital point - the girls perspective.

Girls have girl talk atleast 12 times a day on average(i soo made this up), if she tells her girls she went on a "date" and you took her to eat at dennys/subway/etc. DO BELIEVE you will be the talk of the week, of how cheap you are, and she will be advised to NOT see you again from her girlfriends,

Haha...yeah. I imagine that you know this because you're part of those 12x per day girl talks.

I'm gonna say that about...90% of the girls I take out, accompany me to some random smoky dive bar or jazz club because that's my scene. Unless I'm at a nice microbrewery, I'm spending about $3 or $4 per beer, and if she's feeling hungry, I might order an appetizer. If the date lasts from maybe 9:30 to 12:30, the tab is about $50, which every girl always offers to split. $25-$30 for a night out is pretty damn cheap by my calculations.

Haven't heard any complaints yet.

matter fact most of my girl friends who are extremely hot and some of the coolest down to earth girls i know, would not be caught dead on a date with a guy at subway or dennys,

Subway or Denny's? Who takes a girl to those places for a date anyway?

What can we do as guys?

One way is to frame it as a casual meetup maybe at a mall or something for you look at some outfits, you can even get her advise on what looks good on you, then you can swing by and get some ice cream.. have some really awesome conversations.. do some silly stuff like put funny glasses or hats on her, you know really hit it off.

My meetups are always casual. I don't say "Go on a date with me." I say "Let's get drinks." Almost always. Might as well be on my tombstone. Iceberg: Let's get drinks.

And instead of having casual meet ups in a mall for icecream, I do what grownups do and meet at bars. If I didn't drink, maybe we'd meet for bowling or billiards. But yeah, there's no way in hell that I as a 28 year old man, am taking a woman to a mall for ice cream and shopping. This isn't a Mickey Mouse cartoon.

P.S. who ever stated a walk in the park and ice cream doesn't move towards building or expressing sexual interest in a woman, you dont express sexual interest until she is ready,

Not sexual interest in the sense in the sense that you immediately want to put your dong inside her. Sexual interest in the sense that she's a female, you're a male, and you're sexually attracted to her. If you don't express that, then you might as well start shopping for tampons.

I don't understand where you get this whole "Build comfort" and "show sexuality when SHE is ready" notion. My ENTIRE dating life is proof of the opposite. Could I do it your way and still get girls? Probably. But why create extra obstacles for myself? If the goal is to get from Point A to Point B, your method takes me from Point A down to Point T, and maybe if I'm lucky, somewhere close to Point B....like uh, Point E.

 

[the305]

You just shot yourself in the foot when you said "My meetups are always casual. I don't say "Go on a date with me." I say "Let's get drinks." Almost always. Might as well be on my tombstone. Iceberg: Let's get drinks. "

my WHOLE response was to the ORIGINAL POST, of going to DATES and him framing as a DATE.

You don't read.

P.S. trying to pick apart my EXAMPLE of places to go(the OP said ice cream AND mall), is telling me, you are realllyyy reaching for something, kinda lame to be honest.

 

[The Experience]

You just shot yourself in the foot when you said "My meetups are always casual. I don't say "Go on a date with me." I say "Let's get drinks." Almost always. Might as well be on my tombstone. Iceberg: Let's get drinks. "

my WHOLE response was to the ORIGINAL POST, of going to DATES and him framing as a DATE.

You don't read.

P.S. Doesn't matter if im at a mall or a bar or a swingers party, the venue means nothing, i used it as an example, you are really reaching to "prove" something - im stating the real world facts of what the norm is and one way to CONSISTENTLY get women.

KINO?

 

[the305]

KINO?

yeah ofcourse homie.. you've gotta touch, thats part of the flirting and sexually escalating - BUT do NOT do this "just" because your out with her, or "just" because its been the 2nd meet up, you need to feel out for signs - some signs are hard to read and you gotta just go for it...

also being rejected for a kiss, its kinda "cute" to a girl - if they dont make a big deal, it means they are into you, but not ready to kiss you just yet, back to flirting/escalating/comfort and then try again in a bit.

this isn't my opinion or theory, this is just how this shyt works

 

[joe henny]

You must understand the three categories of women:
Goodgirl
freak
hoe
Your dealing with the hoe, she knows shes fine and wants compensation for it. She wants to find a nerd with money settle down make him go out and work while she sits on her ass all day and cheats on him.

I am dealing with a hoe, the best way to break them down is to get in their head. Sell them the dream, make it seem as you were meant to be. If you can do that she will respect you and start using other dudes for money and giving it to you.

"Baby I love you...forever...and ever...

 

[The Experience]

yeah ofcourse homie.. you've gotta touch, thats part of the flirting and sexually escalating - BUT do NOT do this "just" because your out with her, or "just" because its been the 2nd meet up, you need to feel out for signs - some signs are hard to read and you gotta just go for it...

also being rejected for a kiss, its kinda "cute" to a girl - if they dont make a big deal, it means they are into you, but not ready to kiss you just yet, back to flirting/escalating/comfort and then try again in a bit.

this isn't my opinion or theory, this is just how this shyt works

Why not 'just' touch her because she's out with you? This is where you cut off your thinking from other options. There's just too many opportunities to use kino to not do it 'just' because both of the people haven't been in each others' company for a certain amount of time.

 

[Iceberg]

yeah ofcourse homie.. you've gotta touch, thats part of the flirting and sexually escalating - BUT do NOT do this "just" because your out with her, or "just" because its been the 2nd meet up, you need to feel out for signs - some signs are hard to read and you gotta just go for it...

also being rejected for a kiss, its kinda "cute" to a girl - if they dont make a big deal, it means they are into you, but not ready to kiss you just yet, back to flirting/escalating/comfort and then try again in a bit.

this isn't my opinion or theory, this is just how this shyt works

That sounds like the very definition of an opinion. And a bad one a that.

Maybe rejecting your phone calls is cute too.

 

[the305]

Why not 'just' touch her because she's out with you? This is where you cut off your thinking from other options. There's just too many opportunities to use kino to not do it 'just' because both of the people haven't been in each others' company for a certain amount of time.

Why are you so caught up on this touching thing? well let me explain because it seems you are a bit confused.

You don't just start touching a girl on the neck or stomach or thighs (and the other obvious areas) just because she decided to meet you at the park or mall or bar, that touching is not acceptable unless she wants it to happen, and the average chick doesn't want you touching her if she isn't into some what.

Touching on the arm, shoulder, leg - yeah thats fair game man - i suggest starting with those areas.

Does this make sense?

P.S. Iceberg: you gave so-so advice, i corrected it with better advice, you don't have to start acting like a immature 12 year old, get over it, wow.