What to do if she has a boyfriend...?

[coyote_astro]

She is treating you like her court gesture for her entertainment while getting plowed for sex by another guy.

Stop orbiting her. If ignore delete doesn't work then block.

It seems that this is the case here indeed, but I found out the hard way..
An update on the situation:

After I totally ignored her message, she texted me again 24 hours later
Her: Are you going out tonight?
Me: At the gym rn, I may be free after 10.

We ended up going for a drink. I admit that the fact that she texted me made me curious and also gave me some hope.
At some point we were chatting, she mentioned "..I thought you and I had become friends now.."
That's when I got really pissed..Tried to act cool and with the first excuse I took off bout 15-20 min later.

Obviously I don't wanna waste any more time on her. I know it's gonna get frustrating because she will keep texting/trying to get in touch. She's actually already thinking about joining a happy hour event I will attend tomorrow. But anyway...next.

Despite that, glad this thread gave the opportunity for people to discuss this topic in general

 

[coyote_astro]

In my experience this isn't a good sign that she even likes you

Whenever girls fall for me they always spill about the bf. They open up like a can of emoticons

Same situation with @nicksaiz65 post above, he's finding out indirectly and those situations are going no where. But with @RangerMIke they DID open up and I'm willing to bet he fvcked those women

Dark stuff isn't it. Next level female psychology

I once had a girlfriend who cheated on me and prior to it happening she spent the whole night talking about me to him. Not bad things, she was just slowly opening up. That's how they do it

Even though apparently that seems to be the case with this one, so far i had gotten the opposite.
At least Mediterranean girls I'm used to interacting with, will bring up having a boyfriend the moment they meet someone, if they want to show they are taken.

But maybe it's part of their whole thing as you said..

 

[RangerMIke]

me: I'd like to ask you out for drinks
her: I have a boyfriend
me: I didnt ask you if you have a boyfriend, I asked you out for drinks

This is good, another great response is "Oh you need to check with him to see if it's okay to have drinks with a friend, no problem I can wait." Then see what she does with that. Now this is either going to go really well, or really bad. Either way you'll know pretty fast if she is open to meeting up with you... which is what you want. You don't want to waste time beating around the bush.

If she sticks by the BF, ask her what he's like. Then you can read her to see if he really exists, or she's not going to do anything. Then you just tell her he's lucky, give her your number and tell her to let you know if things change, then forget about her. In most cases you will never hear from her again, but you'd be surprised that 10% will reach back out to you. Then you go from there.

 

[Glassguy]

It seems that this is the case here indeed, but I found out the hard way..
An update on the situation:

After I totally ignored her message, she texted me again 24 hours later
Her: Are you going out tonight?
Me: At the gym rn, I may be free after 10.

We ended up going for a drink. I admit that the fact that she texted me made me curious and also gave me some hope.
At some point we were chatting, she mentioned "..I thought you and I had become friends now.."
That's when I got really pissed..Tried to act cool and with the first excuse I took off bout 15-20 min later.

Obviously I don't wanna waste any more time on her. I know it's gonna get frustrating because she will keep texting/trying to get in touch. She's actually already thinking about joining a happy hour event I will attend tomorrow. But anyway...next.

Despite that, glad this thread gave the opportunity for people to discuss this topic in general

You seem to lack the ability to close. If she met you for drinks, you probably could have fvcked her.

Why would you get pissed over her saying "I thought you and I had become friends now"? I would have taken it as she has become comfortable enough with you to actually go fvck you and not have to worry about you acting all crazy afterwards (which would obviously cause problems with the bf).

You getting pissed was the LAST thing a chick in her situation wants to see. It shows that you are not up for casual sex with her because you are way too emotional.

Why would a chick want to monkey branch from something she already knows to someone who shows the same beta traits?

Think about that.

INDIFFERENCE leads to sex.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

met a girl recently at an out of town convention. We did some fondling & light kissing. She told me ‘I have s boyfriend’. I asked if he was ‘here’ and she said. ‘No’. I then told her ‘It doesn’t matter then does it?’ And we carried on.[/QUOTE]

 

[nicksaiz65]

You seem to lack the ability to close. If she met you for drinks, you probably could have fvcked her.

Why would you get pissed over her saying "I thought you and I had become friends now"? I would have taken it as she has become comfortable enough with you to actually go fvck you and not have to worry about you acting all crazy afterwards (which would obviously cause problems with the bf).

You getting pissed was the LAST thing a chick in her situation wants to see. It shows that you are not up for casual sex with her because you are way too emotional.

Why would a chick want to monkey branch from something she already knows to someone who shows the same beta traits?

Think about that.

INDIFFERENCE leads to sex.

Yeah. I had a date this Sunday and I failed to close too smh. In hindsight I realized that she was definitely DTF if I had closed a bit harder. Now she won't even respond to my text messages, that number is toast lol.

I was going through some old Roosh stuff. He says when you get her on the date for drinks, you automatically need to assume that you'll never see her again. And if you go on a first date with a girl but don't sleep with her, she may lose interest in you quickly because of all her other options.

When I think back to my own experiences, I've found that this has been dead on: you've got to go for sex on that first drinks date to succeed. Be aggressive and escalate hard.

I was wondering if you would agree with this though?

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is just things women say. Any woman that is about to cheat of their partner will always say something like this. "I've never done this before.", "I love my BF", "What are you doing?".... It's the point where her emotional brain is fighting with her rational brain.... one of these is going to win out, and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. She'll either say, "No, this isn't right", grab her sh!t and leave. Or she'll give in. Let me repeat THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO THAT WILL GET HER TO SEX, NOTHING.

However, you can do things that fvck sh!t up. She is not going to cheat with you if she thinks you have a big fvcking mouth. You will fvck this up if you have EVER said ANYTHING about ANY women you have dated in the past. NEVER DO THAT. You might have said something a couple of hours early about an ex, and she'll remember that and it will trigger her rational brain to stop. Don't overreact to this, in fact it's best not to say anything, she has to believe it is not a problem for you and that you are not going to think less of her if she goes with her emotions. Again... if you fvcked this up, you did it early on when you were talking with her. She has to trust you, too many guys think this is about the moment... it's not... it's about the entire time you've known her. Women don't forget anything a man she is interested in enough to sleep with... you could be right in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session, then she remembers something you said 2 weeks earlier that indicates you can't be trusted.... then her rational brain triggers... then you are done.

Just keep moving forward and escalate like you would with any woman, if she backs off, you back off, then try again in a few minutes... until she says 'no' or 'stop'... at that point you throw the ride into reverse and back up quick. But really at this moment she is trying to find out if you care she is in a 'relationship', you can not give her any indication that this matters to you at all it's over. You do this by ignoring this... she's just a woman who wants to have some fun... her 'status' is irrelevant, and if anything happens, you take responsibility for what happened.

This is one of the reasons I think PUAs are full of cr@p. They sell you on techniques and formula about situations. It's not about what you do in any given moment, it's about who you are as a man. Be the best version of yourself possible, go for what you want, and never EVER talk about any women you have ever been with, and if a woman is interested then your reputation of being a non-judgemental person who knows how to keep his fvcking mouth shut will carry you to the finish line. She has to believe you will be okay with whatever she runs with, she doesn't want you to turn into a creepy @ss stalker, or that sh!t will get around. If after she sleeps with you, and she decides you are done, that you will just go away and pretend nothing ever happened. If she just wants to keep you on the side for the occasional hook-up, that you are going to be okay with that as well. Now if she falls for you, that's another problem... and depending on who her relationship dude is, could be deadly. Just this past week a man was ambushed by an ex-BF coming out of 'his girl's' house and killed. This happened not too far from where I live.

Dope. That helps put it into perspective for me a ton.

As a man... You have to be the best version of yourself, and go for wtf you want in life. I need to tell myself that every single day.

 

[Visionist]

I was going through some old Roosh stuff. He says when you get her on the date for drinks, you automatically need to assume that you'll never see her again. And if you go on a first date with a girl but don't sleep with her, she may lose interest in you quickly because of all her other options.

When I think back to my own experiences, I've found that this has been dead on: you've got to go for sex on that first drinks date to succeed. Be aggressive and escalate hard.

This is spot-on to my own experiences, time and again. That's why the whole "multiple dates" thing always struck me as weird. If you aren't having sex immediately, you aren't having sex.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is spot-on to my own experiences, time and again. That's why the whole "multiple dates" thing always struck me as weird. If you aren't having sex immediately, you aren't having sex.

Yeah man. Once again, Roosh V is right on the money with this. That man is based and red Pilled.

He says that to the modern woman, not fvcking her on the first date/hangout actually is VERY SLOW. If you're trying to hang out with her multiple times, and "court" her across that process before you fvck you're doing it wrong. You must assume that you will never see her again. He even says something like "do not show up on the first date if your intention is not for it to end in sex." Before I knew this, I was really surprised when I went on a good first date, made out with the woman, and then never heard from her again.

I just now realized this, but not fvcking her on the first date comes across like you're pushing for a relationship. And not in the good way, cause most women just want to fvck.

 

[coyote_astro]

You seem to lack the ability to close. If she met you for drinks, you probably could have fvcked her.

Why would you get pissed over her saying "I thought you and I had become friends now"? I would have taken it as she has become comfortable enough with you to actually go fvck you and not have to worry about you acting all crazy afterwards (which would obviously cause problems with the bf).

You getting pissed was the LAST thing a chick in her situation wants to see. It shows that you are not up for casual sex with her because you are way too emotional.

Why would a chick want to monkey branch from something she already knows to someone who shows the same beta traits?

Think about that.

INDIFFERENCE leads to sex.

This is a sticking point of mine indeed, and something I know I have to work on in general.

I don't know, I never considered a girl calling you "a friend" a good thing. Coupled with what she texted me previously, I wasn't too happy to hear it. But maybe I am overthinking and you are right, I am honestly a little confused.

For what it's worth, I don't think I expressed my frustration at all. And when I called it a night it was well past midnight and had the perfect excuse of an early meeting, so it naturally came up.

Totally agree with you about indifference. For what it's worth again, all the past times we met or talked it was her that initiated so I hope I haven't given her that match free validation.

 

[Glassguy]

This is a sticking point of mine indeed, and something I know I have to work on in general.

I don't know, I never considered a girl calling you "a friend" a good thing. Coupled with what she texted me previously, I wasn't too happy to hear it. But maybe I am overthinking and you are right, I am honestly a little confused.

For what it's worth, I don't think I expressed my frustration at all. And when I called it a night it was well past midnight and had the perfect excuse of an early meeting, so it naturally came up.

Totally agree with you about indifference. For what it's worth again, all the past times we met or talked it was her that initiated so I hope I haven't given her that match free validation.

You have made ZERO direct effort to have her come over and smash. Yet you are confused.

The answer is always no when you dont ask.

But you are afraid that she will disappear if you straight tell her that you want to hook up with her. That is a scarcity mindset and you will never be great with women as long as you walk around in fear of losing them.

Take your shot and whatever happens is fine. At worst case you still arent fvcking her and at best case you get a fwb as long as you play it cool and stop acting like an emotional woman.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah. I had a date this Sunday and I failed to close too smh. In hindsight I realized that she was definitely DTF if I had closed a bit harder. Now she won't even respond to my text messages, that number is toast lol.

I was going through some old Roosh stuff. He says when you get her on the date for drinks, you automatically need to assume that you'll never see her again. And if you go on a first date with a girl but don't sleep with her, she may lose interest in you quickly because of all her other options.

When I think back to my own experiences, I've found that this has been dead on: you've got to go for sex on that first drinks date to succeed. Be aggressive and escalate hard.

I was wondering if you would agree with this though?

I totally agree. If the logistics support escalating to sex, by all means that should happen. That is if I am feeling it after I meet up with a chick.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is just things women say. Any woman that is about to cheat of their partner will always say something like this. "I've never done this before.", "I love my BF", "What are you doing?".... It's the point where her emotional brain is fighting with her rational brain.... one of these is going to win out, and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. She'll either say, "No, this isn't right", grab her sh!t and leave. Or she'll give in. Let me repeat THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO THAT WILL GET HER TO SEX, NOTHING.

However, you can do things that fvck sh!t up. She is not going to cheat with you if she thinks you have a big fvcking mouth. You will fvck this up if you have EVER said ANYTHING about ANY women you have dated in the past. NEVER DO THAT. You might have said something a couple of hours early about an ex, and she'll remember that and it will trigger her rational brain to stop. Don't overreact to this, in fact it's best not to say anything, she has to believe it is not a problem for you and that you are not going to think less of her if she goes with her emotions. Again... if you fvcked this up, you did it early on when you were talking with her. She has to trust you, too many guys think this is about the moment... it's not... it's about the entire time you've known her. Women don't forget anything a man she is interested in enough to sleep with... you could be right in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session, then she remembers something you said 2 weeks earlier that indicates you can't be trusted.... then her rational brain triggers... then you are done.

Just keep moving forward and escalate like you would with any woman, if she backs off, you back off, then try again in a few minutes... until she says 'no' or 'stop'... at that point you throw the ride into reverse and back up quick. But really at this moment she is trying to find out if you care she is in a 'relationship', you can not give her any indication that this matters to you at all it's over. You do this by ignoring this... she's just a woman who wants to have some fun... her 'status' is irrelevant, and if anything happens, you take responsibility for what happened.

This is one of the reasons I think PUAs are full of cr@p. They sell you on techniques and formula about situations. It's not about what you do in any given moment, it's about who you are as a man. Be the best version of yourself possible, go for what you want, and never EVER talk about any women you have ever been with, and if a woman is interested then your reputation of being a non-judgemental person who knows how to keep his fvcking mouth shut will carry you to the finish line. She has to believe you will be okay with whatever she runs with, she doesn't want you to turn into a creepy @ss stalker, or that sh!t will get around. If after she sleeps with you, and she decides you are done, that you will just go away and pretend nothing ever happened. If she just wants to keep you on the side for the occasional hook-up, that you are going to be okay with that as well. Now if she falls for you, that's another problem... and depending on who her relationship dude is, could be deadly. Just this past week a man was ambushed by an ex-BF coming out of 'his girl's' house and killed. This happened not too far from where I live.

Thanks for the tips fam. I feel like a part of getting really really good at the game is being able to fvck girls who have boyfriends as well.

So I hit up two girls who have boyfriends but seem to respond at least logically/platonically to me over text instead of just blowing me off.

I basically treated it like I would with a single girl. A little bit of back and forth, and then I was like "we should hang out and get some coffee/tea at some point." I usually do this over text, but this time I did it over Snapchat. I feel like it's superior in this case because it deletes messages.

They both responded with "sure, I'd totally be down for that." Which is pretty positive.

So when I get these chicks out, I still follow the exact same procedure that I would with a single girl, right? Should I make an exception and schedule this date for the day, just something like a friend would do to get that plausible deniability, and then escalate in person? So that way she doesn't have to explain to her boyfriend who she's out with when she doesn't come home to him and all that lol. Or should I just set the hangout for at night as usual.

I'm assuming it's the same schpiel. Sit close to her, good eye contact, kino on the date, bring her back. Escalate in the room.

I have to fvck her on the first meet: I learned that the hard way on a date I went on this Sunday.

I'll do this for the culture and cause I don't wanna limit myself to only single girls. But the thing I'm worried the most about is the date going decently well, but then I say "Hey, wanna see this awesome song that I wrote? It's at my place with my new speakers." Then she blows me out by saying, "No, I'm not gonna be alone in your room with you. I have a boyfriend." It really worries me, tbh. I have no idea if I should push past that as normal, or take that as "I'm not fvcking you." Any words to assuage this fear?

 

[Blacksheep]

Hello all, new member but I've been checking out the forum for a while.

Let's start with a classic question that is relevant to me these days: What do you guys do when you find out a girl you are interested in has a boyfriend?
So I met this girl and quickly felt there was some chemistry there. We hung out a bunch of times at this happy hour event and went along well; she comes from the same background and we both live in the US.

She never mentioned a boyfriend (but I had a suspicion) until her roommate (that I met) gave it away. After hearing that, I did not make any direct moves, but I felt there is/was an opportunity. I've been going through a very career-focused phase lately (which resulted in no recent lays unfortunately) which though gave me a ton of confidence after some great successes on that front. She picked up on it and I am almost certain she looks up to me. Every time we met, I could feel her falling into my frame a little more.

2 weeks ago I was super bored and invited her to go for a beer, so we did. Again I could feel some tension growing. At the peak of this, she gave me a Massive **** test, out of nowhere. Maybe one of the biggest ones ever. Then later we went to another bar and around midnight the boyfriend showed up, looking a little uneasy that she did not respond to a text or some ****; I recognized his expression

I did not make any moves ever since. On the one hand I feel I could smash (and the dry spell is starting to get on my nerves ), but on the other I feel like pursuing a girl in an LTR is not worth it. Note that also we live in a rather smaller town.

Let me stress that I have not caught any feelings. I am just curious and wanted to see what more experienced members think.

If you only want to fck her... the only problem is that: she has a boyfriend, and if this guy found, you can create problems. I don't think it's cool to be with girls like that. It's kind of a bro's thing... Better have a friend than a enemy.

If you have feelings for her... Man, just think carefully about that... The biggest mistake of your life. The same way she is cheating her boyfriend or having this kind of sexual tension with you... she might have with others in the future.

She lost interest in his boyfriend and want to fck another male. Big red flag!

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is just things women say. Any woman that is about to cheat of their partner will always say something like this. "I've never done this before.", "I love my BF", "What are you doing?".... It's the point where her emotional brain is fighting with her rational brain.... one of these is going to win out, and there isn't a fvcking thing you can do about it. She'll either say, "No, this isn't right", grab her sh!t and leave. Or she'll give in. Let me repeat THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO THAT WILL GET HER TO SEX, NOTHING.

However, you can do things that fvck sh!t up. She is not going to cheat with you if she thinks you have a big fvcking mouth. You will fvck this up if you have EVER said ANYTHING about ANY women you have dated in the past. NEVER DO THAT. You might have said something a couple of hours early about an ex, and she'll remember that and it will trigger her rational brain to stop. Don't overreact to this, in fact it's best not to say anything, she has to believe it is not a problem for you and that you are not going to think less of her if she goes with her emotions. Again... if you fvcked this up, you did it early on when you were talking with her. She has to trust you, too many guys think this is about the moment... it's not... it's about the entire time you've known her. Women don't forget anything a man she is interested in enough to sleep with... you could be right in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session, then she remembers something you said 2 weeks earlier that indicates you can't be trusted.... then her rational brain triggers... then you are done.

Just keep moving forward and escalate like you would with any woman, if she backs off, you back off, then try again in a few minutes... until she says 'no' or 'stop'... at that point you throw the ride into reverse and back up quick. But really at this moment she is trying to find out if you care she is in a 'relationship', you can not give her any indication that this matters to you at all it's over. You do this by ignoring this... she's just a woman who wants to have some fun... her 'status' is irrelevant, and if anything happens, you take responsibility for what happened.

This is one of the reasons I think PUAs are full of cr@p. They sell you on techniques and formula about situations. It's not about what you do in any given moment, it's about who you are as a man. Be the best version of yourself possible, go for what you want, and never EVER talk about any women you have ever been with, and if a woman is interested then your reputation of being a non-judgemental person who knows how to keep his fvcking mouth shut will carry you to the finish line. She has to believe you will be okay with whatever she runs with, she doesn't want you to turn into a creepy @ss stalker, or that sh!t will get around. If after she sleeps with you, and she decides you are done, that you will just go away and pretend nothing ever happened. If she just wants to keep you on the side for the occasional hook-up, that you are going to be okay with that as well. Now if she falls for you, that's another problem... and depending on who her relationship dude is, could be deadly. Just this past week a man was ambushed by an ex-BF coming out of 'his girl's' house and killed. This happened not too far from where I live.

Couple last things I forgot to mention in my first post... I know you're not a fan of PUA, but Roosh V recommends if a girl says "no" to going into your place that you try again 5 more times. I've found that pretty effective for getting me Bangs. But does the same apply to a girl with a boyfriend?

And I know you said that her Snaps showing affection to her boyfriend don't matter... But when she posts pics of her and her BF holding hands and she just moved into a house with him, it makes me nervous that she'll actually cheat with me. I still want to try it cause I need to get good at this skill, but still. Y'know what I mean?

And before someone says it, I don't have one-itis lol. I just want to make sure I get good at this skill so I can get girls with boyfriends consistently. I'd say that's a big part of being a really good player.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yes, why wouldn't it? If she's in a position where you can seduce her, it's not by accident. Girls are gonna do what they want.

Keep in mind there are a lot of factors at play regarding whether she goes with you or not, which are out of your control. So if she does or doesn't, it's not 100% on you. Just play your part and let the chips fall where they may.

Roosh says that when dealing with a girl with a boyfriend, you need to talk to her like just a friend. But TOUCH her like a girl you're seducing.

 

[Template]

Just treat her like she's single.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Just treat her like she's single.

Can I still treat her just like she's single even when she posts pics of her holding hands with her bf?

I wanna get good at dealing with chicks with BFs but that's my last mental roadblock. My logical brain is telling me "Would she cheat with you when she's posting sh*t like this?"

 

[FJA]

Roosh says that when dealing with a girl with a boyfriend, you need to talk to her like just a friend. But TOUCH her like a girl you're seducing.

I would also advice this, and don't push here, don't be needy, not to much text-contact, also play it "bad ass" and let her wait sometimes 2-3 weeks before you contact here again, I know this is not easy, but for me it worked, even with one I contacted after 2 months of no contact. But touch here playful when you are around here in a way a normal, not sexual friend, would never do. Meet here somewhere low profile, a place out of here friends/family network (so not around the corner where she lives), to talk and flirt. If she holds back, big risk that can happen because of the female "I'm not a slut way of thinking", you do that do and even more, after for example some weeks you contact here again with a message like "ready to meet than and than?"

 

[FJA]

Can I still treat her just like she's single even when she posts pics of her holding hands with her bf?

I wanna get good at dealing with chicks with BFs but that's my last mental roadblock. My logical brain is telling me "Would she cheat with you when she's posting sh*t like this?"

Pics on social media with BF are not of any value that often, they can show holding hands and be in not that great relation, or simple be ¨open¨ for new contacts (she wants to keep her BF, but still get f*cked by you) or quit with him next week, so often this happens. Don´t think about her BF, you are not going to date him ;-)