Obviously the very word sounds negative. There is crazy tension between this girl and me and it's been going on for months now. We aren't dating and we aren't buddies (thankfully) but there was a spark for a while and basically I have found that 'blowing' this girl off has made things very awkward.
It's not quite sexual but there have always been elements of a connection between us...which lead to us going out on a couple of awesome 3-hour-ish dinner dates. I was starting to fall for her and the vibe was in the air that she was feeling me too...but I never made a physical move...even after the second date. In fact, we never even hugged...the goodbyes were weird even though the conversations, eye contact, etc, were great. The girl is shy and I get the sense she is not very trusting--it would appear as though she hasn't been out with anyone since we went out a year ago.
But I'm shy too...and had suffered through a failed long-term relationship that ended a year before. But in the process of cutting off contact with my ex I started to learn a bit about the game...to play aloof, to never tell em how you feel...to never call too much or be clingy. I put all of this into effect and balanced it with enough nice guy charm to get her to go out...and she melted during date number 1. We had EVERYTHING in common.
But I still had the AFC nice guy in me and was afraid to make a move at all...afraid to hug her even. I guess my weakness showed and confused her. In a botched effort to show some level of interest I bought her a small x-mas gift (this is all from last year)...she appreciated it and loved it...but it just felt awkward.
But that was about a year ago. Then our schedules started to conflict and I got the impression that she was starting to make excuses about the third date....so I stopped asking.
I barely saw her over the holidays but when she came back to school from the xmas break her interest appeared renewed. We ended up at the same club and she was touchy from jump. I decided not to make a move because she was kinda drunk. It was good that we were finally touching-- but it felt too late. At least we were physically 'normal' around each other...or so I thought.
At this point I am still playing aloof because I was offended that the third date never happened.
I would see her a couple times a week and every encounter would be awkward in its own way, with me playing like I don't care that she is in the room and with her coming to me or initiating a hug. But then sometimes it would be a handshake....tense.
I mean, I can't ***** at her or complain or tell her how I felt...And I can't avoid her or else I appear bitter.
The following months would just be weird...I would play aloof, she would come off as lonely and I would start to feel she wanted me to ask her out. I would not. The longer I distanced myself from her the more attention she would show me (she works near my house so all of our interactions were at her work). But I refrained from asking her out
And here we are...it's a year later...I just saw her tonight at a club. The sight of her ruins my night because I never know how it will go and it raises my stress level because I do like her. I hugged her, caught up with her for a few seconds and then hung out some friends. It was just awkward again.
Anyhow...I'm still single but it's not like I'm not talking to other ladies. But I really would like to kill the tension here. If she was my ex then this would all be fine and expected. If we were friends, there probably wouldn't be any tension.
Is there something I need to do here because blowing her off is not exactly working or making me feel better. Do I need to game her? Should I tell her that I WAS interested and/or address the tension? I wouldn't if it was a new girl...but this has gone on forever. Do I have anything to lose?
Thanks in advance.
It's not quite sexual but there have always been elements of a connection between us...which lead to us going out on a couple of awesome 3-hour-ish dinner dates. I was starting to fall for her and the vibe was in the air that she was feeling me too...but I never made a physical move...even after the second date. In fact, we never even hugged...the goodbyes were weird even though the conversations, eye contact, etc, were great. The girl is shy and I get the sense she is not very trusting--it would appear as though she hasn't been out with anyone since we went out a year ago.
But I'm shy too...and had suffered through a failed long-term relationship that ended a year before. But in the process of cutting off contact with my ex I started to learn a bit about the game...to play aloof, to never tell em how you feel...to never call too much or be clingy. I put all of this into effect and balanced it with enough nice guy charm to get her to go out...and she melted during date number 1. We had EVERYTHING in common.
But I still had the AFC nice guy in me and was afraid to make a move at all...afraid to hug her even. I guess my weakness showed and confused her. In a botched effort to show some level of interest I bought her a small x-mas gift (this is all from last year)...she appreciated it and loved it...but it just felt awkward.
But that was about a year ago. Then our schedules started to conflict and I got the impression that she was starting to make excuses about the third date....so I stopped asking.
I barely saw her over the holidays but when she came back to school from the xmas break her interest appeared renewed. We ended up at the same club and she was touchy from jump. I decided not to make a move because she was kinda drunk. It was good that we were finally touching-- but it felt too late. At least we were physically 'normal' around each other...or so I thought.
At this point I am still playing aloof because I was offended that the third date never happened.
I would see her a couple times a week and every encounter would be awkward in its own way, with me playing like I don't care that she is in the room and with her coming to me or initiating a hug. But then sometimes it would be a handshake....tense.
I mean, I can't ***** at her or complain or tell her how I felt...And I can't avoid her or else I appear bitter.
The following months would just be weird...I would play aloof, she would come off as lonely and I would start to feel she wanted me to ask her out. I would not. The longer I distanced myself from her the more attention she would show me (she works near my house so all of our interactions were at her work). But I refrained from asking her out
And here we are...it's a year later...I just saw her tonight at a club. The sight of her ruins my night because I never know how it will go and it raises my stress level because I do like her. I hugged her, caught up with her for a few seconds and then hung out some friends. It was just awkward again.
Anyhow...I'm still single but it's not like I'm not talking to other ladies. But I really would like to kill the tension here. If she was my ex then this would all be fine and expected. If we were friends, there probably wouldn't be any tension.
Is there something I need to do here because blowing her off is not exactly working or making me feel better. Do I need to game her? Should I tell her that I WAS interested and/or address the tension? I wouldn't if it was a new girl...but this has gone on forever. Do I have anything to lose?
Thanks in advance.
Last edited:
]Skywrighting?