What the hell should I do???

[RobLB]

Need more motivation? The person she initially had plans with flaked, so she's pulling her whiny little puppy off the back burner for some guaranteed attention.

Mull that over for a while.

Yeah that sounds like a good idea but that just seems a little childesh to me,..sorry I'm just not a mean guy.

 

[speedo_meme]

Yeah that sounds like a good idea but that just seems a little childesh to me,..sorry I'm just not a mean guy.

Well nice guys finish last, and you're about to find that out, the hard way.

 

[Vulpine]

Don't listen to me, listen to yourself.

...she just texted me and told me ... and I tried to call her and she didnt answer the phone. So ,... I texted her back ... She said she was at work... so I texted her back saying ...she texts me back saying she didnt want me coming over there!!! She didnt wanna talk to anybody.

Childish?

And she can be the biggest biotch sometimes, it's like she snaps and turns into this evil person. And as far as talking about anything or discussing problems with us she gets frustrated and cusses and hangs up on me!!

Mean?

..I KNOW,..I'M A SUCKER!!!! I have a big heart,...that fvcks me everytime!!!

Uh... so when are you going to stop?

 

[RobLB]

I know, I know,...I know!!!

:kick:

 

[RobLB]

Update...

Well,....I spoke with the GF this morning and I told her that I think we should give each other some space and see what happens. She didnt really act that supprised so either she was wanting this or she hid her emotions well. It's just gonna be kinda tough because I get attached to people too easy and especially her kid. But i'm gonna try and hang tough and not call her or text her and see what happens.

I think this was the best way to do it though. Of course 10 minutes after we hung up she texted me wanting to know how much I was gonna charge her to fix something on her car,...weird.

Next.....

 

[Last Man Standing]

Why you bastards tolerate so much shyt from these belligerent mean lying hors is beyond me!!!!

You are losing your manhood!!! Do not go back to her!!!

 

[Last Man Standing]

... It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around.

This is false - women do it the other way around - but hors do it as you stated - distinguish a woman from a hor! In todays society hors are the overwhelming majority!!

 

[CraigMack]

You know what I hope you don't get mad at me for this, but I sent your post to my buddy and he used it on his show today.

http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/

But I do hope he was able to offer you some real and solid advice dispite his overly agressive nature.

Craig,

 

[RobLB]

Holy Sh1t!! That was great!! That really gave me the "what the fvck I'm I doing" reality!!!

Thanks again,

 

[CraigMack]

Holy Sh1t!! That was great!! That really gave me the "what the fvck I'm I doing" reality!!!

Thanks again,

Why don't you leave your comment on his site in the comments section then.

Good luck,

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh boy...

First of all...you can't love this woman after only 3 months. You are infatuated with her and you don't even know her well enough to love her.

Secondly...I'm guessing that you are getting too serious too fast and you've managed to spook her to the point where she was trying to pull back a bit and regroup...think about if this is really what she wants. What is typical when a person does this is for the other person to get insecure about where they stand and push for more intimacy and time with them. That just makes them pull away even harder. Stop calling, don't try to contact her and give her some space. If she wants to continue the relationship she will reach out to you when she's figured out what she wants. At this point, the more you push the more likely you're going to drive her away for good.

Someone else mentioned the possibility that she has met someone else. This could very well be the case too. Especially being that she is on myspace. Men use that as a primary source for looking for women online. She is only 26 years old. You are 40. It's quite possible that if a guy closer to her age pursues her that she will be gone. That's a risk you take when you get involved with someone much younger than yourself. You have to be downright amazing and spectacular to hold your own against that kind of competiton.

Your best bet is to back off and give her a week to get in touch with you. If she doesn't contact you and tell you where you stand you should meet other women and start dating them.

 

[RobLB]

Your best bet is to back off and give her a week to get in touch with you. If she doesn't contact you and tell you where you stand you should meet other women and start dating them.

I have been trying to do this. I won't contact her but then she sends me this text like " How are you today?" or "whatcha doin?" I'm not supposed to respond to these?

It's tough to do the no contact thing when you live in a small town too. Plus my company is waiting for a sign that we ordered from the company she works for,... so we still make contact!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Rollo, I need to ask how that's a strike against her? I could understand if he has no kids and doesn't want a ready made family, but he himself has a child. He'd be a hypocrite to write off women with kids.

DES, this is why it's a strike:

You have to understand this girl is a single mother of a 5yr old that spends all her free time with him. Her parents live 2 states away and she has no one to watch him,..ever. We have actually only been on 3 dates with just us. It is hard for us to find a baby sitter most of the time and she doesnt like to leave him much. Being a parent myself of a 5yr old I know this has to be a strain on her.

A single childless woman is ALWAYS preferable to a single mother. One common rationale that I'm constantly hearing single fathers use to justify their tolerating the sh!t ROB is allowing is that "she is a parent just like me" so they "understand the difficulties." In my book this is just one more form of identification and patronization for a potential (or in this case confirmed) ONEitis and this is derived from a scarcity mentality. This rationale is simply another buffer against a 40y.o. man being rejected by younger, childless women. Trying to sort out a single mommy's head games and justifying it with his own kid, seems to him a better use of time and effort than risking rejection in the field (where he belongs) and learning new social skills to get what he wants rather taking what he can get in a "safe" single mommy.

This is false - women do it the other way around - but hors do it as you stated - distinguish a woman from a hor! In todays society hors are the overwhelming majority!!

LAST MAN: Trust me, everybody wants some; you, me, your mom, my grandfather, horz and church girls alike. If it makes you feel more self-righteous or it helps you to think you're separating yourself from the "herd" of "most guys" to think of women who'll fvck and then develop a relationship as horz, more power to you.

 

[RobLB]

A single childless woman is ALWAYS preferable to a single mother. One common rationale that I'm constantly hearing single fathers use to justify their tolerating the sh!t ROB is allowing is that "she is a parent just like me" so they "understand the difficulties." In my book this is just one more form of identification and patronization for a potential (or in this case confirmed) ONEitis and this is derived from a scarcity mentality. This rationale is simply another buffer against a 40y.o. man being rejected by younger, childless women. Trying to sort out a single mommy's head games and justifying it with his own kid, seems to him a better use of time and effort than risking rejection in the field (where he belongs) and learning new social skills to get what he wants rather taking what he can get in a "safe" single mommy.

Very well put. I just have one more question for you Rollo on my situation. And I'm asking you cause you always provide the most straight forward answers.
After reading your "Plate Theory" and "The Cardinal Rule of Relationships" post I have been trying to pull away from this chick and turn the scales some. I spoke to her Sat. and told her that we need to take a break for a while and see what happens. Well she still sends me these text messages asking me what i'm doing or some sh1t she bought for her house and when I don't reply she ask if i am avoiding her and says "we're not broke up". Should I not respond to her text messages anymore and just see what happens? I don't want to come across as an arshole,....or do I need to? She did send me a text saying that she hopes and thinks our relationship will get better but I'm tired of waiting for her to make a choice.

I think I need someone to just come up and knock the fvck out of me and wake my ass up! :kick:

Thanks again

 

[NewMan]

Well she still sends me these text messages asking me what i'm doing or some sh1t she bought for her house and when I don't reply she ask if i am avoiding her and says "we're not broke up". Should I not respond to her text messages anymore and just see what happens? I don't want to come across as an arshole,....or do I need to? She did send me a text saying that she hopes and thinks our relationship will get better but I'm tired of waiting for her to make a choice.

She's stringing you along - she doesn't want to think that you are done with her - she wants to be in control, she wants to be the one to end the relationshgip (whenever this happens - but it will) - She's playing games with you - especially with

"hopes and thinks our relationship will get better"

yeah, she thinks that until she meets someone else - and then she will not give a crap about you.


Quite playing 'Captain save a ho' Stop feeling guilty and do not respond to her texts. Tell her she need to make a choice and to call you when she's figured it out. Until then - go have fun.

 

[Wyldfire]

I have been trying to do this. I won't contact her but then she sends me this text like " How are you today?" or "whatcha doin?" I'm not supposed to respond to these?

It's tough to do the no contact thing when you live in a small town too. Plus my company is waiting for a sign that we ordered from the company she works for,... so we still make contact!!

Well, if you want her to stop contacting you the next time she texts you asking "whatcha doin?" you can always respond with "a woman I just started seeing". That should do the trick...

 

[RobLB]

Well, if you want her to stop contacting you the next time she texts you asking "whatcha doin?" you can always respond with "a woman I just started seeing". That should do the trick...

Ouch!!! :nervous:

 

[mongoose01]

man you got it bad. i've been away awhile, but you should take these guys advice. i wish i had sooner (check my prior posts)...i had it bad like you.

your spending too much thought energy on what she'll feel or think. who cares, you've only known her for four months. it's not that important. it doesn't matter. stop contacting her. she's mixed up and confused. she's texting your for attention, cuz she know she will get it from ole reliable (that's you). please move on. reading your posts are killing me.

the real reason your trying to hold on because she's young and hot. you have fear that you won't find someone else like that. someone else will come along and you'll be alright.

use that thought energy on something or somebody else.

she has her own problems, their not yours.

REMEMBER: it doesn't matter.

 

[mongoose01]

Well,....I spoke with the GF this morning and I told her that I think we should give each other some space and see what happens. She didnt really act that supprised so either she was wanting this or she hid her emotions well. It's just gonna be kinda tough because I get attached to people too easy and especially her kid. But i'm gonna try and hang tough and not call her or text her and see what happens.

I think this was the best way to do it though. Of course 10 minutes after we hung up she texted me wanting to know how much I was gonna charge her to fix something on her car,...weird.

Next.....

she's trying to keep you engaged.

 

[RobLB]

Well I finally grew some balls this morning. She sent me some rude Asss text this morning and I finally had enough,..so I sent her this message:

Well I was just gonna sit back and take your mean sh1t again but I'm tired of it! For you to sit there and say that my stress isn't sh1t to worry about is bs. How can you say something like that to me? How can you be so cold hearted,..especially after all I've done for you?? Stress is stress!! You don't know half the sh1t I'm going through. Sure,..I've had relatives die and done some bad sh1t in my lifetime too but that doesn't give me the right to treat people that I am close to like dirt!! Maybe you are better with a jerk that treats you like sh1t and cheats on you.

I may be a wuss and soft hearted but I'm not gonna let you demoralize me anymore. I have gone out of my way to be nice to you , give you space or whatever else you needed buts it's obvious this is going nowhere. I want someone that will be there for me when I need them and will let me be there for them when they need me. Someone that will show me the same affection I show them. That will answer there phone when I call and not text me back saying"I don't feel like talking cause I have a headache" Who does sh1t like that?? If I'm laying there with an axe in my head and the person I care for calls me and wants to tell me something, I'm gonna talk to them.

Attraction is not a choice (her) and it's apparent that your having problems making that choice or your just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings,..who knows???? When you decide you let me know,..until then I think it's best we just go our seperate ways.

I'm done...

She freaked out!!! She's been calling me and texting me since this morning. It's like a total reversal!! I just want to move along now and get on with my life,..but she keeps texting me about stupid stuff. Telling me I'm not the man she was falling in love with. The word love was never even brought up in our relationship. I think she's just trying to make me feel bad now...