what the hell does this mean?

[joydivison]

My girlfriend dumped me and started dating a new guy the next day. Saying she loves him and all kinds of over the top bs the next day. I didnt say one word to her for 3 weeks. I said I wasnt over her and she said she never loved me and hates me bla bla. So I didnt respond back, screw it. A week later she mails me in the US mail this letter, and it says this, "I wish you the very best regardless of everything else. And everyday I wish that you’d admit to the virtually innumerable lies you told me, and that every single one of them I saw threw and looked down at, wishing you’d just tell the truth for once. I know you never will, because you keep running away from all your excuses. Part of you is wonderful, but I haven’t seen in so long that I’m starting to believe that it doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me. But one day you’re going to realize that all this running is going to only put you in a worse place. Even when you think you’ve damaged someone who can’t possibly find a way to hurt you back, the universe will still fills in the gaps." I never lied to her. She always thought I cheated and didnt take her serious, but I was always loyal. What the hell does this mean? The guy she is with now doesnt even live in this state and can never touche her. Im not sure what the hell to do here.

 

[joydivison]

when I said I wasnt over her, she also threatened to put a restraining order on me. WTF?

 

[Pathgen]

Your doing the right thing.

Forget this *****, she is having trouble with her decision and is looking for you to "make it ok."

Think about it, she breaks up with you and expects you to crawl back to her. When you don't do that like 99% of guys out there (i've done it before), she starts wondering why she made her decision.

She is looking for closure, don't give it to her. Not because it will get you the girl in the end, but because its stupid to play those games.

 

[joydivison]

I love this person, but I dont let people treat me like trash. I am successful in my life. I want her to be in my life. I just wish that they all were not so predictable. She is just like the rest. I will shut her out until she begs for me. Wish it wasnt this way. Thanks for confirming my thoughts. I feel good about it now. She left me for a dude the total opposite of me. A white trash ginger. I hope she likes eating catfish dumb *****.

 

[joydivison]

my ranting aside. I have been very strong, but is it worth it? Can this be turned around?

 

[f283000]

my ranting aside. I have been very strong, but is it worth it? Can this be turned around?

What do you mean "turn it around??"

You're a big boy now I think you can move on with your life, game other girls and delete this one from your life. Nothing good comes out of keeping an ex in your life except drama.

 

[Joe Stud]

you are tempted to correct her, and tell her you never lied to/cheated on her. although it's hard, you need to refrain. it doesnt matter. she coldheartedly dumped you, and threatened to embarrass you by calling in the law... making you out to be a stalker of public record.

move on, get out into the bars, socialize... move on. no contact with her... none.

 

[joydivison]

I see what your saying man, but I just went against every bone in my body to make it a month being silent. If I was going to give up, I would have cried my heart out to her. I want to get something for controlling myself. We had to move to a long distance relationship for awhile. I think it caused a lot of these problems. I feel she is trying to punish me for my drinking problem. I am not a quieter. I am a big boy, im trying to play for keeps here. Losers let other people best them. No disrespect to you. Im trying to find out what I should do to win here. I am not putting up a white flag. Please dont take that as me throwing your advice to the wind. I am grateful for the reply. I want to win this one.

 

[joydivison]

triple post nice hotel net

 

[joydivison]

triple post nice hotel net

 

[joydivison]

triple post nice hotel net

 

[joydivison]

I will never contact her again. Should I add that I am like an F list celebrity. I sing on a sub of Universal music group. I could get tons of girls if I wanted, I guess its true. You want what you cant have. I just hate giving up.

 

[joydivison]

She is a ford Model. I heard this is the place to get things done. Someone give me some words of wisdom. I dont care for, just give up. Move on. That is the same mental state of mind that gets you a job at Arby's.

 

[f283000]

I will never contact her again. Should I add that I am like an F list celebrity. I sing on a sub of Universal music group. I could get tons of girls if I wanted, I guess its true. You want what you cant have. I just hate giving up.

First things first. Why would she write this letter to you? Do you think it's because she loves you? Do you think it's because she wants you back?

The reason she wrote to you this letter was for 1 thing and 1 thing only and that's to screw over with your head and for you to start thinking about her again, start having feelings for her again, have hope that you can "get back together and fix things," only for her to play along just a bit, enough to stick the stake through your heart just when you think you can get her back, and decline any of your advances and shut you down for good.

Wait, did you say she also has a bf and she contacted you? Great! This is only like the 1,323,634 time a situation like this has been posted on sosuave!

The good ol "ex who now has a bf has contacted me after some time and it's screwing up with my head" thread. They're all too common because this is a common game that women play that totally f@%^# up with our heads.

She is a ford Model. I heard this is the place to get things done. Someone give me some words of wisdom. I dont care for, just give up. Move on. That is the same mental state of mind that gets you a job at Arby's.

When I said to delete her from your life and all exe's it was a simple way of avoiding drama such as the one you are experiencing now. When people say it's always better to delete an ex from your life it's not about being a "cold motha ___" it's about keeping potential drama such as this away from your life. It's not about "giving up" it's about being smart.

 

[f283000]

And you asked how you can win. It's simple, show her how much better your life is without her rather than worse.

You beggin her to come back = YOU LOSE

She finding out how you are doing great, have attractive women in your life, are having fun, and you don't miss her at all = YOU WIN!

Nothing hurts a woman more than seeing you happier without her. That's when she starts wanting you back because women can't stand seeing you happier with other women or without her.

 

[f283000]

Let me add this which should drive her crazy. You mentioned how you are kind of a celebrity and you're a singer.

If you really want to drive her crazy and "win" one thing you could do is write her a letter...AND IGNORE EVERYTHING SHE SAID!

If you acknowledge or reply to any of her accusations or defend yourself against any of the things she said YOU LOSE. You are giving her power, you are satisfying her ego, you are playing right into her trap if you do. Please don't do this. This is the game she wants to play.

However, instead what you could do is ignore the whole bs she wrote and write her a totally positive letter and I mean it.

Ignore all her accusations, all her bs, and write her something like

1st few lines asking about her, totally positive stuff, totally ignoring her letter and destroying all the traps she set for you in that letter: "hey hb how you doing" I hope you're having a wonderful time. The weather's been crazy/great/ and I hope you're enjoying it. You still doing bla bla bla. Awesome.

Next paragraph you write about yourself and how wonderful your life is (you don't say wonderful without her remember don't acknowledge any of your problems with her, just give her real examples of all the positive of your life): Things are going great here. I just did a bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla. I also started doing bla bla bla lba. I been doing a lot of bla bla bla bla.

Third paragraph: More of the second

best regards,
hero

*below that put a picture of you with a big smile on your face with your arms around some women after a singing gig, party or whatever, or something with you and a bunch of good looking women and you having a wonderful time. Any picture of you with women*

Make sure the picture is part of the paper the letter is written on, rather than an actual picture separately. Let the picture be like a "picture signature" showing how great your life is and how great you're doing.

The above would totally drive her insane. Not only will you totally ignore her accusations, neglect to get into an argument match about just how bad you were in your relationship (what she wants you to do)

but instead you will show her how you hold no grudges, are feeling positive, are doing great without her (without shoving it in her face which is the key, you have to let her know that with real examples not saying it outright), and she will see a picture of you with other women. This will the total opposite of the response she expects from you and instead you will have avoided all the traps she set out for you and actually planted one yourself. She won't know what hit her.

That right there is how you win in this game. It's all psychological

 

[Biggie]

She is a ford Model. I heard this is the place to get things done. Someone give me some words of wisdom. I dont care for, just give up. Move on. That is the same mental state of mind that gets you a job at Arby's.

First of please at least TRY to make fvcking sense when you're typing something. Also, you don't have to put a period after every 3 words. Try using a comma once in a while. That is all.

 

[Joe Stud]

He aint gonna make it. He's looking for any excuse/reason to "win her back". Nothin personal OP, but you are setting the groundwork to make contact with her, and reconnect.

 

[f283000]

He aint gonna make it. He's looking for any excuse/reason to "win her back". Nothin personal OP, but you are setting the groundwork to make contact with her, and reconnect.

I know. It's a common theme in this forum. Some guys just have to get beat up by the game a little before they finally start to learn and actually listen to advice that's good for them.

 

[bish0p]

I know. It's a common theme in this forum. Some guys just have to get beat up by the game a little before they finally start to learn and actually listen to advice that's good for them.

Yeah, I knew better when my ex dumped me and I still did the same dumb sh*t.

I guess since it isn't a life threatening situation, people feel compelled to at least try. I think it may be a necessary evil.