What the f*ck happened her????

Absalom

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Hiya,

I'm AFC as fvck. 10 years ago I decided not to have sex again until I met the one.

I have a story. And a lot of questions.

1. I met a really sweet, loving, over-caring, super beautiful back-packer girl while travelling in India. Back home she works at a dog shelter, saving street-dogs and helping them trust humans again. Giving deep deep love professionally. We traveled in a big group of people that had hooked up along the way. She was a big weed smoker and occasionally did MDMA and LSD. She had this sweet, innocent aura while kind of dressing slutty. Either short dresses or camel-toe-tight pants.

2. One morning when we had slept next to each other we started kissing and suddenly she gave me a blow job and swallowed. Best blow job I've ever had. What a technique! :) (Later into the relationship she denied this ever happened) Later in the day while laying in the grass next to a waterfall cuddling she tells me she has a boyfriend back home, but that they're on a break. Thinking back I think she said something about him wanting to leave but not doing so.

3. We kept travelling around, from now on me and her always had our own room. She told me she liked to be tied up and spanked, she also said this in a bragging kind of way in front of the whole group at one occasion.

4. As I got to know her it seemed like she was living with some sort of depression, at least back home, that she hoped she could cure with an ayahuasca ceremony in south america one day. She also told me that she had been locked up because of eating disorders a couple of years ago and that she had a very low self esteem. She always complained about her fat body, but it was ****ing perfect!

5. I noticed that she had a really weird relation with her father. She treated him as a baby on the phone. She always talked about how amazing he was and that if she got a son he would get her fathers name. She did not like her mother who had cared more about different boyfriends than about her.

6. We moved into an apartment in one of the towns we were travelling through and by now we really felt like a couple. We stayed there for a month. Deeply in love. She used to give me surprise blow jobs and swallow. She was both very submissive/pleasing and initiative taking at the same time. She calls me "her beautiful child and amazing man" and a lot of other sweet things. She adored my "big beautiful" penis (dont know where she got that from =D). She was "surprised" that I, unlike most others, were able to make her wet. She was hoping I would finally be the man that would stay with her. I couldn't see why anyone would leave. I wouldn't mind living as a homeless on the streets with her. She mentions she have a lot of male friends and prefer to be with guys and that her ex was very jealous.

7. It was time for us to go back home to our respective countries, but as soon as we landed we realized we had to try to get together again. We talked about moving, when to meet next time and so on. She still lived with her boyfriend so she told him she needed time alone and kicked him out(or so she told me).

8. For two months we had daily contact on skype and through sms. I remember I was so touched when she once sent me a video recording where she was singing for me with her baby voice.

9. After a while she started being harder to reach. She was busy and would call me back but never did. I felt disrespected but assumed her ex was causing trouble. A day later or two she would apologize and then showering me with love for a while.

10. Two-three months after landing she came and visited me for 10 romantic days. We had a lot of sex but she wasn't taking initiative anymore. She said I was the first to give her a cl*t orgasm. She seemed to see people in black and white. Evil or good people. I tried to share a more complex perspective. I try to get to know her a little deeper, but she doesn't seem to be in to that. She's not interested to learn anything about me either.

11. She got back home and the push/pull continued. One day I had had enough and told her she had to shape up. She answered by crying that everyone was always so disappointed by her and it would be better if she killed herself.

12. One month later I go and visit her in the house she and her ex used to live in. She seems to be drinking A LOT and driving both drunk and on acid. One night he comes banging on the door, trying to break it open. She goes out and talks to him, telling him I am there. A few days later he tries to commit suicide. Or rather, he eats a lot of pills and let her know about it. He seemed to be a sweet guy.

13. I go back home. More push/pull. She don't want me to come visit again until she has found a new house for a fresh start for the two of us. She find one and will move there two months later. It was important for her that I liked the house.

14. One month later she goes to a party. She doesn't answer her phone for 2 days. When she finally calls she tells me she did acid and had come to the conclusion that she needs to be alone because it's to close upon her last relationship, she has to focus on work and she needs to learn to be happy on her own..... I say I have to get back to her when I'm cooled down. Then she starts messaging me that she will die if she looses me. When I've cooled down I ask her if she expects me to wait around for her or if she just wants to be alone until she gets the new house. The new house, she says, and that she still wants us to talk like usual.

15. After this it's a lot more push than pull. But when she pulls she pulls. She starts sending me voice messages with her singing little love songs for me again. I laughed once because it sounded so manic.

16. One month before she's gonna get the new house her cousin, who also traveled with us in India, shoots himself in the head after his girlfriend, my girlfriends best friend, had push/pulled him a little to hard.

17. He survives and his girlfriend and my girlfriend spend most their time in the hospital or by drinking at her place together with a male friend from India.

18. We barely have any contact at all now. I try to be supportive but she's very cold. Occasionally she writes me how much she loves me or sing me a song.

19. One month later she gets the new house and I go over there to visit for two weeks. Hello hell. At first she is still in her old house, preparing it for the move. She lets me know that she's not capable of any intimacy because she's so depressed over what her cousin did. He is still at the ICU. The next day she goes to work, come back home and later goes to the hospital to sleep with her cousin.

20. The second day she asks me if I want to move in with her in the new house. I tell that I think so and that I'll try. When she comes back from the hospital later in the evening she tells me her cousin will move in instead, since I didn't want to. She then thinks I'm a selfish jerk for being disappointed and insists I had said I didn't want to move in.

21. She works most days, visits the hospital most days and sleeps there every other/third night. Meanwhile I try to help her out by preparing the old house for the move. Cleaning, fixing the garden and so on. She again tells me she wants to be tied up and spanked and that I'd learn to enjoy it. I say it's not for me.

22. She talks a lot about suicide and wants to discuss why she shouldn't kill herself.

23. One day while driving in her car a love song is played at the radio and she looks at me and sing with the song. One day, standing and hugging in her garden I try to get eye contact with. She shies away and asks me what I'm looking for.

24. I visit the hospital with her one day. She is playing her cousin love songs and massaging him with such intensity.

25. We move in to the new house. She thanks me for helping out, grabs my d*ck and tells me she will take care of me later. I tell her it's not her obligation. We plan to go on a little vacation the up coming weekend.

26. The next night she comes home from the hospital and tells me she has decided to kill herself. She had hoped she would be in a car accident on the way back home. She tells me how empty she feels inside and that she cant take it anymore and that she has made up her mind. I start crying in panic. She gets pissed off and says she cant stand seeing me cry and that she wants me to leave. I have another friend from the trip in India living in another city. She wants me to go there.

27. The next day me, my GF and her best friend(the GF of the cousin) are hanging out in the house when the friend gets an SMS from the cousin saying he's in love with my GF. Very weird. They try to make sense of it as a joke. It turns out it's not, he wants to marry her. Later the friend tells me my GF has been over-caring with him. Spooning with him in the hospital bed, with legs entangled. What is going on? Everything is very confused.
 
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Absalom

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28. The next two nights I get to sleep alone in the bed room. My GF instead sleeps in the living room with her friend and the male friend. I feel so bad by now. Dizzy. Crying when I'm alone.

29. Finally my friend from the other city comes. We talk, and I tell him I want to say good bye to my GF before I leave. He goes back home, my GF comes back from work and she drives me to him instead. When we arrive to his city we walk around holding hands until we come to the restaurant where he works. We say good bye, kiss, hug, kiss, hug. She says she will make it up to me next time. She leaves.

30. Two days later I go back home. Devastated and confused. Did we just break up? Does she hate me? Then why the loving good bye? Make it up to me? Next time?

31. Back home I send her a message saying I'm doing good, not to make her feel guilty. That threat of suicide still haunts me. She calls me her love and apologizes for her behavior and "I told you I'm bad for you". I try to keep distance now.

32. A week later I talk to her friend who tells me she, my GF and the male friend went to the vacation we had originally planned. Spending most of the days in a Jacuzzi she said. I write to my "GF" saying I hope she was able to relax at the vacation and that I would always be here for her if she needed someone to talk to and that Id always keep a window open for her. She replies "Oh baby I cant believe how much you care for me" and that the same goes for me.

33. From time to time I check in on her just to see if she's ok. She almost never respond and if she do it's very short and cold.

34. I talk to her friend who tell me I should move on because my GF is, and that she was never in love with me.

35. I start therapy. Initially to handle my current crisis but in the long run to deal with my childhood and codependency. From time to time I send her messages. Because I dont have a f*cking clue what she's feeling for me by now I try all sorts of messages. I never get a reply. One day I decide it's enough and swear I will break it off. It the night I out of nowhere get a "Good night baby". And I'm back in the loop.

37. Two days later I pull myself together again and send her a message saying I still lover her like crazy but that I cant live like this. She replies! Tells me she's busy and that she will call me the next morning. Great, finally we can do a real good bye and end this. I cant wait to hear her voice after 1 month of messaging only.

38. I wait all morning but she never calls. At 11am I get a message saying she has to go to her mother and that she will call me later. I've been disrespected for the last time and tell her I'm tired of being controlled. She replies it was very bad of me to say and that maybe we shouldn't talk.

39. Therapy continues and I start reading about co-dependency, borderline and narcissism. I'm, not kidding, reading all day for 1-2 weeks. Then I send her what I hope will be that last last last last last message with no intention of getting her back.

I don't know if I have any question really. Would it help if I knew she had BPD/HPD? I don't know. Am I a covert narcissist? I don't know.. I've learned a lot, will it make a difference?

I'm tired now..
 
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Albatross953

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Dude, the solution is to have dumped her at #4.
 

cordoncordon

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First of all, she is BPD. Very obvious.

Secondly, I cannot imagine how low YOUR self esteem must be to even want to talk to this woman, let alone be involved in a relationship with her. You have some serious co dependancy and self esteem issues that you need to work out for yourself before you should ever be involved with someone again.

And thirdly? Never talk to this psycho again.:rockon:

Good luck.
 

sylvester the cat

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I would have dropped her at # 2.

After she swallowed, of course.

Proceed straight to dj bible without further delay.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Echoes

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I can't read all that right now....I will later but....

Why would you make the decision to not have sex until you found "the one"?!

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but, at the end of the day, having sex is literally the reason for living. It's our only true job. Everything else we do in life is aimed toward propagation, whether we know it consciously or not.

Fascinating.
 

Echoes

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Ok I read it.

It's very simple. Never speak to her again. It is the only solution.

It may be hard at first, but it's nothing compared to the hell you will continue to go through should you stay in touch with her. She needs major help, but so do you. There is no way the two of you can deal with your individual issues together....no possible way.

I'm actually having a bit of a hard time believing that this is a true story. I'm not calling you a liar....it's just hard to believe.

You have to never speak with her again, and work on your own mental health. I'm no psychologist, but it seems clear that you have your own issues to deal with.

Best of luck.
 

Kailex

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I made it to #2 and already knew where this was going to go... then as I scrolled down, I saw "likes to get spanked" and "issues with father".


RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.

Stop talking to her and then...

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN...
 

narcissist

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Absalom said:
I'm AFC as fvck. 10 years ago I decided not to have sex again until I met the one.

^ man, next time put a disclaimer: DO NOT CONSUME DRINKS WHEN READING THIS! ^

I fvcking spit my water all over my computer from laughing. lol



Also I really want to go to Peru and do an ayahuasca ceremony.

Absalom said:
I don't know. Am I a covert narcissist? I don't know..
I personally dont see you exhibiting traits of narcissism
 

Absalom

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Echoes said:
I can't read all that right now....I will later but....

Why would you make the decision to not have sex until you found "the one"?!

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but, at the end of the day, having sex is literally the reason for living. It's our only true job. Everything else we do in life is aimed toward propagation, whether we know it consciously or not.

Fascinating.
Hi Echoes! It's a little off-topic but to sum it up my goal was to be in celibacy for 3 years. Starting at the age of 20 after numberous GFs and FBs up to then. I think the idea was to somehow increase my worth as a prize by doing so(werid thinking) and to play on "the longer you wait for something the more you appreciate it". After 3 years I moved in with two hot girls who tried sex me up. I realized I could see the situation as either the reward or as the final test. I chose to see it as the final test and decided to wait until I met my next GF. Who never came, and I stopped looking.
 

Absalom

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narcissist said:
I personally dont see you exhibiting traits of narcissism
Hello Narcissist! See the above reply to Echoes. I also had very very grandeur dreams and ideas of myself at this time. I don't anymore. I'm kind of empty now.
 

Absalom

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I went NC 18 days ago.
3 days ago I found out she was now craaaazy in love with some new guy by looking at what they posted to each other on Facebook. Starting 3 days after I left her country. I cant fvcking believe she let me come all the way there, and then have me help her move and all that ****, while she was in love with someone else! I'm confident she slept with him(and some other guys) before we broke up. Well, she still hasn't broken up with me. She just faded away. Occasionally calling me sweet names, like a cat playing with a mouse. So, I deleted and blocked her and her friends on Facebook, Skype and Whatsapp. I also changed phone number.

When I logged in to my old Whatsapp account yesterday, to delete it, I saw she had actually written me a message. I'm not sure what her motive is, but I hope this is the start of her hamster spinning out of control.

"I'm sorry I've hurt u so bad I see u are doing better hope u are happy but just so u know I'm not going to take pills and destroy my life more I know u must hate me now I understand just wanted to say my deep sorry for how things happend."
 

:-)

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Absalom said:
When I logged in to my old Whatsapp account yesterday, to delete it, I saw she had actually written me a message. I'm not sure what her motive is, but I hope this is the start of her hamster spinning out of control.

"I'm sorry I've hurt u so bad I see u are doing better hope u are happy but just so u know I'm not going to take pills and destroy my life more I know u must hate me now I understand just wanted to say my deep sorry for how things happend."
Sounds like she's just offering you another carrot in the hope you will bite so she can continue stringing you along. Delete.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Dang bro! Do you know what you're doing? Like cordoncordon said, BPD to the fvcking max. I would just go NC with her. Never communicate with her ever again. I mean dude, this bish is crazy and you know it. Just RUN. Fvcking RUN!!
 

zinc4

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bi-polar.....major bi-polar...and boning her cousing....lol...dud this girls has wayyyy too many issues...you will NEVER be happy with her..should have dumped her a LONG time ago...cease all contact immediately...
 

drummerdude27

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Shes BPD brotha, I just got out of a BPD relationship myself. 3 weeks NC so far. Your story is similar to mine in some ways (my BPD ex gave me an amazing BJ and swallowed too, the ONLY girl who's ever did that for me out of many BJs I got from girls. She was down for literally anything in bed). And overall was just super sexually active, attention seeking, and always depressed. Check out my recent thread.
 
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