What should I think????

Rada

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Hey everyone,
I know this is a men forum...but I just thaught I could pop in and ask for some advice....for who could know better about men than men themselves???

So I will tell u my story....I met my boyfriend (or maybe not any more) in a club where he picked me up. He took me out the next day, the date went well, but then he didn't call. I thaught I would call and see if he was ok or not. Of course, this was an excuse for another date. Usually I don't call men if they don't call me, but so many relationships ended this way (they didn't call back) and i was quite angry about it so this time I went for it and called him. He said he was ok and sorry for not calling me and he invited me to his place.
I went there and he was with his friends and acted like he wasn't with me...I mean I talked more to his friends than to him....i felt a bit strange talking to complete strangers, but then I thaught,,,if he doesn't pay attention then I might just talk to his friends...they even cooked :)
After few hours I wanted to go home, but he said "no, no, no...what will u do home? stay here pls"..."hmmm..i thaught...so he wants me to stay!!!" And I stayed.....and we went to his room....and we talked..nothing more. He explained that this was the first time that he knew a girl for so long (he knew me for 2-3 days only so u can imagine how he was used to treating girls.....pfff) and not have sexual relationships with her and he respects that...."bull'seye..I thaught!!!!" In the end we kissed...he tried to go further, but I didn't let him. He told me how "pig" he was with the other girls and all the things he did to them.....he even didn't show up for dates and was used to women just coming over to him for sex at only one phone call of his. I falt a bit discouraged then, but afterwards I said lets se how he's going to act with me.
Ahh...he drank something and after that he told me he wanted to make me a fool for him....in few days I was going to even cry for him. I said "ok...maybe I will be a fool for u" I was already falling in love...and this happens to me quite a lot at the beggining of the relationship.
Next date: It was supposed to be at 6 in a restaurant, but I was 20 minutes late and by the time I got there noone was there. I thaught that he might have not even come as he said he had done before to other girls or he might have left and was angry so I tried to call him, but his phone was closed. Grrr....When he turned his phone on and I called him, he said he didn't remember about the date. I really wanted to kick his ass then, but I said "well...when will I see u then?" and he said I could come to his place again. i said ok and later I went there....I even had to help them get out of the elevator, as he and his friends got stuck in there. The fire men saved them in the end. I spent the night there, but again, nothing happened I just stayed in his arms...and he told me he was beggining to fall in love with me. Later in the night, he started to feel bad and I took care of him....and got the thanks for it the next day.
And so on....we didn't have many more dates after, since he is a foreign student and left for his country for the holidays. On the way to the airport eh was writting me sms-es of how much he loves me and won't hurt me and everything.
He also told me one more thing.....that if he calls me the first day he gets to his country, this means that he loves me.
It has been already 5 days since he got there and yet no phone call or sms..... To tell u the truth, i don't feel despaired and I still think he cares for me. I don't knwo why I have the feeling that this si just a game he is playing and a test to see if our relationship will work.
Do u think I am too naive and actually he just wanted to play with me and then let me go?? Then why send all those sms-es on the way to the airport??? If he really didn't feel anything for me then he wouldn't havw wrote them, right??
I'm a bit insecure now and would like to know ur oppinion. This is if u won't kick me out because I'm a girl :)
Thanks
 

Rada

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I see noone can give me an adivce upon this. Oh well, I tried....
 

Kaptain

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Yes I think you are naive... and stupid.

Men, Women, Straight or Gay the advice is still the same:

There a billions of guys out there... why do you still go back to this one.

Judge him by his actions. Anybody can say they love you but a REAL MAN will ACT like he loves you. Why do you keep returning to this guy who has displayed no respect for you.
 

Rada

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What if I will move on and on? And leave the next guy and the next guy...and the next after that??? I would really hate this.
And i think he feels something......because I saw him and how he acts with others and how he acts with me, but he is like with his head in the clouds and used to taking girls as his prize.
Then why say he really cares if he doesn't??? If he doesn't then I want him to be a man and tell me that he doesn't want to because I'm sick and tired of relationships ending this way....him telling me that he cares for me and one day he stops calling! He has to care about someone...why not me?
 

Kaptain

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* Slaps Forehead *

I have had this conversation before with a dozen different women. I have never have never been successful with saving any of them from themselves.

Later, after pain and wasted time on their part, they asked: "Kaptain! Why didn't you tell me X was a jerk?". I have to say: "I did... but you didn't want to listen."

If you wish to listen:

According to your story this guys a jerk.

If you are unhappy with the why he treats you then confront him. Find out if he is a real man or a coward.
 

Rada

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How can I confront him if he is gone and I don't have his telephone number from hsi country???
And if he will come back in the country and won't give me any call...then that will just be it. What I fear is that he will call and say he's sorry for not having called me and make something up.....in this case it will be me who will reject him, but this just to see if he is persuasive. if he wants to be with me he will be persuasive, if not...he is not worth it....
I will be hurt if he doesn't call, though, because I want to be with him...i don't know why
 

Rada

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Originally posted by Kaptain
* Slaps Forehead *

I have had this conversation before with a dozen different women. I have never have never been successful with saving any of them from themselves.

Later, after pain and wasted time on their part, they asked: "Kaptain! Why didn't you tell me X was a jerk?". I have to say: "I did... but you didn't want to listen."

If you wish to listen:

According to your story this guys a jerk.

If you are unhappy with the why he treats you then confront him. Find out if he is a real man or a coward.
Thank you for helping me, but what I would like to know is how can u make a jerk realise that he loves u???
 

Kaptain

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oops. forgot some details of the story. reread your story and it worse than i remember.

Originally posted by Rada
I will be hurt if he doesn't call, though, because I want to be with him...i don't know why
Was it because he made you feel good for a short time?

The frustrating thing is you know he is a jerk you just can't let yourself amit it.

If you want read about real heartache read this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=87039

Anything less that this a temper tantrum.
 

Kaptain

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Originally posted by Rada
Thank you for helping me, but what I would like to know is how can u make a jerk realise that he loves u???
You cannot trick people into liking/loving you.
 

Rada

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Originally posted by Kaptain
oops. forgot some details of the story. reread your story and it worse than i remember.



Was it because he made you feel good for a short time?

The frustrating thing is you know he is a jerk you just can't let yourself amit it.

If you want read about real heartache read this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=87039

Anything less that this a temper tantrum.
I do admit he is a jerk.....but noone is a jerk all the time...and with me he tried not to be (at least not all of the time)....till now that he doesn't call. But I still want to make things work...

It was because he made me feel good for a short time....
 

Rada

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Yes......everyone sayd u can't force people to love u....it's true. But can anyone tell me why he did that?
Why say "i love u" when u don't and then leave that person?
 

Rada

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Yes......everyone said u can't force people to love u....it's true. But can anyone tell me why he did that?
Why say "i love u" when u don't and then leave that person?
 

Rada

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I guess this is no answer question......but I appreciate ur help on the matter. need for love really blinds u sometimes.....
 

Aerospace

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Hi there, iubirea!

Maybe it's just the price you're paing for being shallow, or superficial... who knows?

Next time do not stop by looks alone, try and discover something more about the person you're going to have sex with. Otherwise it will be natural for the man to think that you're nothing more than a pastime.

And all the others: take a look at this, she clearly doesn't know why she loves him, but that's it: women clearly do not have a clue about what triggers their attraction. Sadly, it's clear that arrogance and indifference, and a little bit of utter hypocrisy worked here. Talk about ****y and funny.

It's a shallow word we live in Rada. And you're making your part in making things this way. Think a bit more next time.

And a last word of advice:

S-a dus baba cu colacii!

See ya!
 
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Rada

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Originally posted by Aerospace
Hi there, iubirea!

Maybe it's just the price you're paing for being shallow, or superficial... who knows?

Next time do not stop by looks alone, try and discover something more about the person you're going to have sex with. Otherwise it will be natural for the man to think that you're nothing more than a pastime.

And all the others: take a look at this, she clearly doesn't know why she loves him, but that's it: women clearly do not have a clue about what triggers their attraction. Sadly, it's clear that arrogance and indifference, and a little bit of utter hypocrisy worked here. Talk about ****y and funny.

It's a shallow word we live in Rada. And you're making your part in making things this way. Think a bit more next time.

And a last word of advice:

S-a dus baba cu colacii!

See ya!
hey "smarty"

Who said I stopped by looks alone? He's not that much of a good looker...I liked his style and what I saw in him, thing that other I had men clearly didn't have. I talked to him before liking him, don't worry!

I said I didn't know why I started to love him, but I do know what I liked about him...yeah maybe it's tooo soon to talk about love.
And what is so shallow (which, by the way, means superficial so that "or" in ur first sentence makes no sense :p) in liking a guy and trying to be with him? I didn't have sex with him and who told u I will?

So I like him for what he is.....not for all the stupid things that he did (and still does)....I like him because I saw something different in him and know he';s not the man he pretends to be. I don't pretend to be able to change him or turn the world arround, but I can't help it if I like him....and I'm nto taslking about any sexual thing here.

We will see if s-a dus baba cu colacii.
 

Rada

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Originally posted by MetalFortress
It's called manipulation.
Saying a thing too much makes u get accustomed to it...and belive it in the end...so he could be manipulating himself....I don't really belive he didn't feel anything and just say that.
Maybe I'm very stubborn, but I don't want to give up just like that.
 

Kumar

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Originally posted by Rada
Saying a thing too much makes u get accustomed to it...and belive it in the end...so he could be manipulating himself....I don't really belive he didn't feel anything and just say that.
Men lie, women lie. HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU! HE LIED TO YOU!HE LIED TO YOU!HE LIED TO YOU!



Maybe I'm very stubborn, but I don't want to give up just like that.
no you are not stubborn. you are stupid.

dont make it to be too stupid, ok.

rada find other man, move on, like we say NEXT!
 

Rada

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I think we can't say many relevant things at this point now. So we'll see what happens.....
 
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