I was always kind of quiet. I lacked confidence. I thought I was just an ugly guy. My friends would tell me I was crazy for thinking I was ugly and that I'm actually pretty good looking.
I think the whole ugliness thing stems from my experience with acne from when i was 12 to around 15. It was terrible. I still have acne, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Classmates would make fun of me for it, my father would demonize me for it. (He still does today.) I just felt like I was ugly, and had no chance in life to meet girls.
This carried on throughout highschool except it eased up a bit when I got my first girlfriend and kiss (I was 15 or 16.) I was still insecure as fvck and that only lasted about a month. I had another girlfriend when I was 17 which only lasted a month too. I broke up with her because she had too many issues, and was physically unattractive to me. I felt like I was being dishonest with myself by dating her.
Didn't hook up with another girl until I was 19. She was fat. She gave me a blow job the first time I hungout with her. (She just said to me "You know, I'd probably suck your **** right now.") She looked hot in her pictures (met her on myspace) but she was about 200 something pounds. I made sure not to bring her around my friends or to have anyone ever find out about her.
almost three years later, I hadn't hooked up with any girls. I was playing in a band and on the road a lot so I was always home for short periods of time. Didn't get any pvssy on the road because I was insecure as fvck. I would just play the gig, and hangout in the van drinking beers until I fell asleep, or hanging out with my bandmates.
Then I found this site, about half a year ago today. I've made out with about 10 different girls and got BJs from 4 of them. One of them even threw a condom at me and said "fvck me" but I was too scared. I was drunk and didn't want to have my boner flop on her so I pretended to pass out.
Still making progress though. Been reading a lot of inner game stuff. Overcoming my anxiety toward day-time cold approaches, and moving up! I'd say my only thing that was wrong (and still somewhat is, but to a less extent..) was my confidence. I would constantly worry what the girl thought of me, but now I realize that it really doesn't matter. I used to be a really negative person to. One of those "That sucks.. Everything sucks.. That's gay" types of people. Now I'm a lot more positive and optimistic. Since finding this site, a lot of my female friends tell me "You changed a lot.." and give me that twinkle of the eye.