what is your take on the bad boy?

[garruk]

"nice guys finish last" is a term that you hear almost all the time, and its a debate that really never ends.

confidence being another key word is always thrown and yes, it is established that confidence is what is most important in the end.


with that being said, what do you guys think about bad boys and nice guys? i am honestly a nice guy at heart (born/raised in a great neighborhood, great childhood, etc lol) and i really dont mind. im not a super casanova but i honestly do well enough.

 

[zekko]

I could give two sh!ts about the bad boy. I have more to offer than any loser mythological stereotypical bad boy. Guys come here and want to be the bad boy because some j@ck@ss took some girl they wanted back in high school.

As for the "nice guy", the "nice guy" as talked about in pickup circles is nothing but a needy wimp. It has NOTHING to do with whether or not you are actually a nice guy. Girls appreciate nice guys. They don't appreciate needy wimps (aka the "nice guy"). Be masculine, be bold, have an edge to your personality.

confidence being another key word is always thrown and yes, it is established that confidence is what is most important in the end.

Confidence is very important, but I don't think I would say it's the MOST important thing. I've gotten women before without being confident. I mean I faked it, sure, but it wasn't always genuinely there. I knew enough to fake it. You can't be SO unsure of yourself that you can't function, that you come off as nervous and stammering, that you're afraid to escalate. That's a big turnoff. But I think what trumps everything is VALUE. If you have value, you will be attractive.

 

[xdreamz]

honestly i never really find any use in trying to be the bad boy, i'm naturally a bad boy. but then i'll be the nice guy when my weakness shows and maybe flip into the douchebag mode when i feel like being free. don't make me get into dracula mode cuz then it's over.

 

[Tesl]

As for the "nice guy", the "nice guy" as talked about in pickup circles is nothing but a needy wimp. It has NOTHING to do with whether or not you are actually a nice guy. Girls appreciate nice guys. They don't appreciate needy wimps (aka the "nice guy"). Be masculine, be bold, have an edge to your personality.

Yep. I have girls tell me I'm really nice all the time - but that doesn't stop me sleeping with them. You just have to make sure they see all sides of you, and that even if you are a nice guy and want to be good to people, you have your self respect and won't allow yourself to be walked all over either.

 

[Lexington]

When people are refer to the "nice guy" they don't mean a guy who happens to be nice. As zekko pointed pointed out, they are referring to the needy wimp; the guy who thinks he can get into a girl's pants by being her b*tch.

The bad guy has confidence and he's not afraid to approach and be sexual with women. You don't have to turn into the stereotypical bad boy in order to be successful with women. You can adopt the useful traits though.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

The bad boy is a guy who said "Well, it's easier than trying". They are losers. Think about it, does your banker or attorney get in fights at a bar and do drugs? No because they are WINNERS.

Be careful who you emulate. We should make a tv show called "And where are they now?" for the bad boys of people's youth. I'm sure there's a lot of guys pushing a broom thinking "Man you shoulda seen me back in the day. I had a Trans Am and I drunk beer, kicked ass and got all the pvssy."

 

[xdreamz]

they're smarter now..they've grown and learned how to get a job and stuff..suggesting they didn't know they were supposed to do that earlier...

 

[slaog]

Women like (mental) strength in a man. Badboys like to show people they're strong. DJ's don't have to do this because they know they are.


Women from rougher backrounds tend to favour the Badboys because they're used to that sort of behaviour. If you want more of a classy girl than being a Badboy won't work.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

My take is that I know enough about them to not want to BE them. They get lots of attraction, but they are massively depressed with anger issues, have suicidal thoughts, drug addictions . . will wind up wife-beaters, drug addicts (if they don't all-out O.D.), in jail, or all of the above.

Honestly I see no good end for them unless they stop being the 'bad boy.'

I do take what I can from them though - basically the 'take no sh*t' attitude. Thats all you can learn from them. Look past the pvssy he gets and you will see someone you clearly wouldn't want to emulate.

When I see a girl fall for one, I just feel disgusted at this point.

 

[Bible_Belt]

An ex-girlfriend of mine got married this past weekend. Her new husband is obviously a mister nice guy. He is the stable provider type, something she never had with me. They call each other pet names over facebook, makes me wretch. I'm sure he is an ok guy; he's just the opposite of me - great job, but boring as hell. I'm sure my place in her life will always be 'bad boy ex from her past.' But that is more than ok with me. I could never be so boring.

 

[Ease]

Badboy for life.

Interestingly enough, im a med student. But im still not loving police and i still got love for the streets.

I dont buy the whole 'Real men aren't jerks, they're confident nice guys'. A real man has to have a little swagger and player attitude.

 

[f283000]

You guys have to understand a simple fact of life. Women till the age of 28 or 30 will go for the bad boy that will treat them like sh*T.

After that when they are ready to "settle down" and want some "stability" that's when they look for a nice guy to get married to. This explains why married couples have so little sex since the woman already f***ed every badboy/jerk/a**hole she could find till she was 28 to 30. When she gets married she's already used goods and tired.

It's a fact of life but you have a choice. Are you going to be the bad boy she will be f**** in her prime or are you going to be the chump she gets married to after she got tired of f**ng bad boys? And end up in another sexless marriage which will end in a divorce 10 years later?

Marriage to modern women is a jail sentence. Be the bad boy, have fun with your life.

 

[Uberguy]

Nice guys often make the mistake of thinking that a woman's preference comes down to "nice guy vs. bad boy". They then see the woman they like falling for the "bad boy", and they figure it's better to be bad than nice.

The problem with this line of thinking is that it is not evaluating the primary characteristics behind a woman's drive. The real preference comes down to "strong guy vs. weak guy", and 99 times out of 100, a woman will choose the strong guy. Ideally, she'll want to go with a strong guy who is also nice, but how nice a guy is remains only a secondary quality.

It's similar to how smart a girl is: it's nice if a girl is smart, but the most important thing is that she's attractive/beautiful/sexy. Conversely, women feel that way about us. It's nice if a guy is a good guy, but the most important thing is that he's strong/confident/successful. Being nice isn't a bad thing...so long as you're also strong. Just like it's not a bad thing if a woman has a brain...so long as she looks good.

If it comes down to "strong n' bad vs. weak n' nice", the former will win almost every time. But if it's "strong n' bad vs. strong n' good", the quality woman will go towards the latter.

I've only encountered one woman who was a perfect 10 in every aspect (I've dated two other women who were physical 10s, but they had flaws in other attributes). And that woman chose to marry a guy who is strong and good.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

I think some people get confused with the badboy stereotypes - The badboy in this community is more of a "Bro" type, gets laid, drinks, party-gy, is edgy, social value and isn't afraid to go for what he wants, even being warned about doing so - basically naturals.

The other bad boy is a guy who goes to prison, sells or participates in takes of drugs, possibly owns a firearm, some social value, bad company etc etc.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

To me, a bad boy is a man on a completely different level than most other men. Don Juan is a bad boy.

A bad boy isn't a jerk, an a$$hole, or a player.

A bad boy has come to terms with his emotions and his sexuality. He has a strong identity. A bad boy knows who he is, and what he wants. He has clear beliefs and is completely open to change. A true bad boy is ever-changing and constantly improving himself. He loves people, and knows who to let in and who to keep out of his life. He is a leader and a decision-maker. A bad boy is confident and secure, he is also determined, persistent, and passionate towards his desires.

Bad boys are honest, and don't give a damn about other people's approval or acceptance. A bad boy has a "life" and has exceptional skills with women. He can get laid whenever he wants to.

The "bad boy" is a state of mind. And don't confuse him with jerks and all that other bullsh!t. A bad boy isn't a PUA - He may have pickup skills and practice pickup, but he defines himself more deeply than the label of "Pick Up Artist."

Bad boys don't objectify women. They don't need tricks and sh!t to get laid. Remember, a bad boy is honest and passionate towards his desires.

Oh and for those of you who mentioned getting into fights- A bad boy doesn't fight to win, unless it's his job.

 

[NSUballer]

It seems as though there are quite a few different definitions of the infamous 'bad boy.'

What a bad boy is not-a condecending wimp, someone who lets people walk all over them, push them around, make decisions for them, cares what everyone thinks, overly confident, unsure of himself. those are just some things that come off the top of my head.

Ive been called an a$$hole, player, jerk, douche whatever else you can think of by SOME people but guess what, those people who say those things are simply jealous or whatever else because I am my own independent person who bows to NO ONE and is assertive and dominating in most situations and I speak my mind and rarely hold my tongue when it matters. I

Ive also been called a sweetheart, polite, super nice, a great catch, loving, caring and such.

The bottom line is that if you want to be successful in life, not just with women, you have to be able to be both when the situation calls for it.

 

[the305]

You shouldn't be the "nice guy", but you SHOULD have some nice guy qualities, but the typical nice guy lacks what the "bad boys" usually have which is: confidence, not outcome dependent, never ALWAYS available for them, isn't afraid to poke fun of her, not desperate for relationship, plus they always have a "its not big deal" attitude, all of the above are qualities women like, and they just do happen to be with the "bad guys" most of the time, so it comes down to the attractive characteristics the women can instinctively pick out of a group of men.

 

[zekko]

It seems as though there are quite a few different definitions of the infamous 'bad boy.'

Wow, is that the truth. A few of the posters here have described the bad boy by listing a series of nothing but ADMIRABLE qualities. Where is the BAD? By definition, a "bad boy" has to have some bad qualities. I don't see a bad boy being interested in self improvement.
A bad boy is honest?
A bad boy doesn't objectify women?
What?

A bad boy isn't a jerk, an a$$hole, or a player.

See, here's where I think you're making a mistake. The terms "bad boy" and "jerk" are generally used interchangeably in pickup circles. I think what you're describing is an ideal that on this forum they call the "DJ". A DJ is not a bad boy, a DJ takes the best qualities of a bad boy and mixes them with his own. A DJ is concerned about self improvement. Why would a jerk care about self improving?

 

[morepoonplease]

The bad boy is a guy who said "Well, it's easier than trying". They are losers. Think about it, does your banker or attorney get in fights at a bar and do drugs? No because they are WINNERS.

Be careful who you emulate. We should make a tv show called "And where are they now?" for the bad boys of people's youth. I'm sure there's a lot of guys pushing a broom thinking "Man you shoulda seen me back in the day. I had a Trans Am and I drunk beer, kicked ass and got all the pvssy."

lmfao :crackup:

 

[Lexington]

I don't think "bad" necessarily means something negative. What are people referring to when they talk about a "badass?" Generally, they are talking about that person in a positive light. James Dean can be considered a "bad boy." Most of Clint Eastwood's characters would be considered "bad." Bad boy does not necessarily equal a$$hole.

You can be a guy who is in a stable financial position, who coaches little league softball, who gives generously to charity, who is a law abiding citizen AND who is also a bad boy.

Generally, when all things are equal (i.e. equal looks, equal wealth, equal status), the girl will be attracted to the guy with the bad boy qualities. Because those are what excite her. The bad boy is unpredictable and adventurous. The stereotypical nice guy is boring and utterly predictable.

Obviously if the girl has to choose between a broke bad boy and rich nice guy, she'll probably settle down with the rich nice guy (after she's done fvcking the bad boy). But in reality, she has a lot more choices that than. She'll choose the fun, exciting, adventurous business executive who makes her gina tickle over the rich but boring nice guy any day of the week.