what is your take on the bad boy?

[sharkbeat]

My ex, who I would consider an alpha female, described this (Now I know that you said to not listen to a female's advice, but I think her opinion is valid). Let me paraphrase her:

There are two types of "bad" men: bad boys and bad ass.
Bad boys are men who walk, talk, and move like they are about to commit crime. They typically accessorize themselves with things to show their toughness. However, they are mentally unstable. You see this a lot on the street. Most women are attracted to this type of men.

Bad ass are the type of men who are gentlemen on the outside, but when they want to hurt somebody, they will hurt somebody, and they won't apologize. Their confidence is overflowing. This is the real alpha male. All women are attracted to this male.
examples: Bruce Lee, Mel Gibson, James Bond, Clint Eastwood's characters, the colonel from Avatar.


To sum it up: Be a good man, but don't be afraid to take risks. If you gotta kill somebody, kill somebody. If you have to throw a punch because somebody just disrespect you, throw a punch. If you have to kick a girl to the curb, kick her to the curb. Have some values, dignity, and passion, stick to them, and you are good to go.

 

[zekko]

I don't think "bad" necessarily means something negative. What are people referring to when they talk about a "badass?" Generally, they are talking about that person in a positive light. James Dean can be considered a "bad boy." Most of Clint Eastwood's characters would be considered "bad." Bad boy does not necessarily equal a$$hole.

Well, that's an interesting take on it that I haven't heard before, so I'll give you props for that.

Ultimately though, I think "bad boy" does have a negative connotation to it. Some sort of misbehavior is implied. The "nice guy" will moan about why the women choose a bad boy instead of them. If it just meant "bad@ss" there wouldn't be so much puzzlement over it, would there? And bad boy is usually used interchangeably with "jerk" on pickup forums. As in "why does the woman go for the bad boy?" and "why does the woman go for the jerk?" Most pickup gurus will tell you to emulate the positive aspects of the jerk while leaving out the bad.

By the way, James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause doesn't seem so much like a bad kid as a confused teenager.

The bad boy is unpredictable and adventurous. The stereotypical nice guy is boring and utterly predictable.

I have two questions about this:
1) Attraction is always talked about in terms of survival and natural selection. From a survival viewpoint, why do you think women would be attracted to a guy who is unpredictable.
2) If you were going to go out with the intention of demonstrating that you are an unpredictable guy, what would you do?

 

[Lexington]

I have two questions about this:
1) Attraction is always talked about in terms of survival and natural selection. From a survival viewpoint, why do you think women would be attracted to a guy who is unpredictable.

Just take a look at the animal kingdom. The term "alpha male" is of course derived from the behavioral characteristics of wolves. The alpha male is the one that gets to do most of the breeding.

Who is the lion that gets to mate with all the females in the pride? It's the biggest, baddest lion in the area. Basically, he has to come in, defeat the previous head honcho and then fight off any lions that dare to challenge him. One day, a younger, stronger lion will come along and oust him.

Closer to our own species, gorillas have dominant silverback males. He is basically like the chief of a tribe. His behavior is unpredictable. He might kill all the offspring from the previous silverback so that he can propagate his genes. This is observed in many species. He is unpredictable because he can be. He can kick your ass just because he feels like it. He is unpredictable because he is in control. The lesser beta males act in accordance with his wishes and they don't have the same luxury.

Although we live in a modern society, we evolved in much different conditions. Back in the time of our earliest ancestors, the most attractive men were the biggest, strongest males. They were the ones who got their way. That's why women still prefer tall men over short ones and well built ones over skinny ones.

Also women want a man who is spontaneous and who will keep them guessing. Obviously, they don't want him to be unpredictable in the sense that they won't know if he'll come home or not. Or if he can put food on the table. But women love a man who takes charge. All women want a man who might one day come home and surprise them with a well-planned out vacation somewhere.

2) If you were going to go out with the intention of demonstrating that you are an unpredictable guy, what would you do?

By being spontaneous. Maybe meet her for a coffee date and then randomly decide to something really fun like laser tag. Do or say things that catch her off guard. You can get away with almost anything if you say it the right way. Keep on surprising her.

 

[zekko]

Closer to our own species, gorillas have dominant silverback males. He is basically like the chief of a tribe. His behavior is unpredictable. He might kill all the offspring from the previous silverback so that he can propagate his genes.

Lol, because nothing will attract a woman like killing her child, right?

No, just kidding. Seriously, good answer.

 

[DonGorgon]

all women love bad boys but when women grow u they love rich boys... WHY? cause those men are usually alpha!