The main issue is guys in social circle settings acting like lonewolves. Thousands of years ago, do you think the guy who approaches everything in a social circle had any status? The answer is no. In social circles, you have to be effortless. There is nothing wrong with cold approaching. But in social circles you have to WARM approach. Seek commonalities, people you both know, try to connect the dots how you two came to talking.College senior here. Finally grew a pair and made about 10 (pitiful, I know) approaches last night with my wing who is just as inexperienced as me. It was a bloodbath, we were getting blown out left right and center, and it really threw us off so we took a lot of time to lick our wounds between sets. My openers were generally complimenting something specific about their outfits, cold reading their ethnicity, asking if we had a certain class together.
I'd say about 5 of them refused to even look me in the eye and gave the shortest possible answer to all my questions, just zero initial interest. Is there anything I can do here to salvage these or do I literally just need to walk away and start the next set?
And second question, is getting blown out to be expected a significant proportion (50%+) of the time or am I not as attractive as I think I am? I keep getting really confused because all of my friends say I'm objectively attractive. I'm 5'10" and have been going to the gym extremely consistently since freshman year. Strangers (off the top of my head: old ladies, random gay guys, dudes I meet at hostels) often call me attractive. Just last week I went shopping with my stylist friend and spent way too much money on clothes to update my wardrobe. And yet, the cold approaches are giving me nothing.
The rest of the approaches were just sort of polite conversation. The topic always ends up at work or school or where they're from and I tease them for their major or geographic stereotypes or whatever but the conversation always end up platonic. I keep searching girls' eyes for that spark of "oh he's cute" and flirting during conversation and did not see a single IOI last night.
So basically, asking for my own sanity, how many approaches should I expect to do at a college bar before getting into a set that goes anywhere? How many blowouts? What do I do if there aren't any IOIs initially based on my looks?
A guy in a social circle environment who doesn’t connect dots and establish commonalities can be a red flag.
Take in point: put a cool high value guy into a social circle environment and eventually he will develop status and people will know him and women will crush over him. This is just natural.
In contrast, women will wonder how the hell you’ve been in that environment for so long and you still feel the need to do countless cold approaches.
I blame the pua community for this weird dynamic. It was essentially created by nerds ostracized from their social circles so their solution was to spam approach.