What is the expected success rate at college bars?

tksniper

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 13, 2023
Messages
177
Reaction score
265
Age
40
College senior here. Finally grew a pair and made about 10 (pitiful, I know) approaches last night with my wing who is just as inexperienced as me. It was a bloodbath, we were getting blown out left right and center, and it really threw us off so we took a lot of time to lick our wounds between sets. My openers were generally complimenting something specific about their outfits, cold reading their ethnicity, asking if we had a certain class together.

I'd say about 5 of them refused to even look me in the eye and gave the shortest possible answer to all my questions, just zero initial interest. Is there anything I can do here to salvage these or do I literally just need to walk away and start the next set?

And second question, is getting blown out to be expected a significant proportion (50%+) of the time or am I not as attractive as I think I am? I keep getting really confused because all of my friends say I'm objectively attractive. I'm 5'10" and have been going to the gym extremely consistently since freshman year. Strangers (off the top of my head: old ladies, random gay guys, dudes I meet at hostels) often call me attractive. Just last week I went shopping with my stylist friend and spent way too much money on clothes to update my wardrobe. And yet, the cold approaches are giving me nothing.

The rest of the approaches were just sort of polite conversation. The topic always ends up at work or school or where they're from and I tease them for their major or geographic stereotypes or whatever but the conversation always end up platonic. I keep searching girls' eyes for that spark of "oh he's cute" and flirting during conversation and did not see a single IOI last night.

So basically, asking for my own sanity, how many approaches should I expect to do at a college bar before getting into a set that goes anywhere? How many blowouts? What do I do if there aren't any IOIs initially based on my looks?
The main issue is guys in social circle settings acting like lonewolves. Thousands of years ago, do you think the guy who approaches everything in a social circle had any status? The answer is no. In social circles, you have to be effortless. There is nothing wrong with cold approaching. But in social circles you have to WARM approach. Seek commonalities, people you both know, try to connect the dots how you two came to talking.

A guy in a social circle environment who doesn’t connect dots and establish commonalities can be a red flag.

Take in point: put a cool high value guy into a social circle environment and eventually he will develop status and people will know him and women will crush over him. This is just natural.

In contrast, women will wonder how the hell you’ve been in that environment for so long and you still feel the need to do countless cold approaches.

I blame the pua community for this weird dynamic. It was essentially created by nerds ostracized from their social circles so their solution was to spam approach.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,710
Reaction score
3,137
Location
US
The main issue is guys in social circle settings acting like lonewolves. Thousands of years ago, do you think the guy who approaches everything in a social circle had any status? The answer is no. In social circles, you have to be effortless. There is nothing wrong with cold approaching. But in social circles you have to WARM approach. Seek commonalities, people you both know, try to connect the dots how you two came to talking.

A guy in a social circle environment who doesn’t connect dots and establish commonalities can be a red flag.

Take in point: put a cool high value guy into a social circle environment and eventually he will develop status and people will know him and women will crush over him. This is just natural.

In contrast, women will wonder how the hell you’ve been in that environment for so long and you still feel the need to do countless cold approaches.

I blame the pua community for this weird dynamic. It was essentially created by nerds ostracized from their social circles so their solution was to spam approach.
Yes. Social proof is probably the biggest single advantage any man can leverage to attract women. In these settings it's best to make friends with the staff (especially any hot female bartenders) instead of wasting time with autistic spam approaching. The next level is apparently using an IG to create a networking "funnel" in the same boat as a sales pipeline, and this only further cements social proof if done right.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,295
Reaction score
4,664
It's simply a very low odds game. Only people telling you otherwise are people who:

a/ are banging girls way below them. Old, not hot, fat etc.
b/ are EXTREMELY attractive. And tbh, I don't think anyone like that would ever even find their way onto a site like this. The stupidly handsome guys I know who used to SLAY it with girls simply weren't remotely aware of 'game' etc and I can't imagine for a second them posting on sites like this. Young guys who look like male models, or celebs etc!
c/liars. Either because they are selling something (such as chase and the guys as skilledseducer who claim, without irony, to be able to 'seduce' ANY girl they want!!! 100% approach to lay hit rate! lmao) OR because this is their second life where they get to escape their true identity and can get an online ego boost from pretending to get laid like Leo!
I remember a guy in college (the classic "guy down the dorm hall from me") who was always bragging about his conquests - every one of which was a tub of lard - and I had commented about how he seemed to have a strong gravitational attraction to his chicks, which he thought was a complement. :)
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,295
Reaction score
4,664
Yes. Social proof is probably the biggest single advantage any man can leverage to attract women. In these settings it's best to make friends with the staff (especially any hot female bartenders) instead of wasting time with autistic spam approaching. The next level is apparently using an IG to create a networking "funnel" in the same boat as a sales pipeline, and this only further cements social proof if done right.
I would bet that there are IG marketing firms that, if you pay, will get a lot of hot chicks to comment on your IG; this is basically the idea behind the movie "Can't Buy Me Love":

 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,710
Reaction score
3,137
Location
US
I would bet that there are IG marketing firms that, if you pay, will get a lot of hot chicks to comment on your IG; this is basically the idea behind the movie "Can't Buy Me Love":

There are, I know you can pay for likes/follows too but it's so obviously fake. For it to be convincing and realisitic, it would require a lot of $$ and at that point it begs the question why not just leverage your money to get it authentically by being a club promoter or something.
 

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,583
Reaction score
1,461
Play the jock angle up more - hat (backwards), jeans, sweatshirt - don’t waste good clothes at college bars.
 

analyticparalytic

New Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2024
Messages
5
Reaction score
1
Age
21
Quick update guys: I blacked out two consecutive nights this weekend and woke up both mornings with a 7+ in my bed. The secret ingredient is alcohol.
 
Top