What is it exactly that is destroying my LTR?
- Thread starter jbbrain
- Start date
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
to player supreme-
you never fail to surprise me. If you never read my post, dont bother "offering a hand"..the last thing this thread (or forum for that matter) is a walking cliche who's sole purpose in his "e-life" is to strut around, talking, acting and trying to convince everyone else of how much of a man he is.
You fail to ever admit to any sort of vulnerability...hmm. Scared? Embarassed? Insecure? Have none? I wish I had the motivation to expose you as the small, small man you really are. Good luck with your supposed "me against the world" attitude, you "hardcore" cop-out.
Your advice sucks.
you never fail to surprise me. If you never read my post, dont bother "offering a hand"..the last thing this thread (or forum for that matter) is a walking cliche who's sole purpose in his "e-life" is to strut around, talking, acting and trying to convince everyone else of how much of a man he is.
You fail to ever admit to any sort of vulnerability...hmm. Scared? Embarassed? Insecure? Have none? I wish I had the motivation to expose you as the small, small man you really are. Good luck with your supposed "me against the world" attitude, you "hardcore" cop-out.
Your advice sucks.
E-Z Rider
Master Don Juan
first...don't ask for advice and then criticize the poeple giving it to you. PlayerSupreme gives a straight up style of advice that may be offensive but I think in retrospect you will find more relevant than you realize. Though he can come across as a douch e sometimes, but find the worthwhile bits in his posts (they do exist).
In other news- I went through something similar. Broke up (sort of) with a chick and she got upset and I took her back. Girl starts obsessing about it day and night and starts questioning the "validity of the relationship". All the meanwhile I'm telling her "Chill out, I'm cool, I'm happy with you". Well she didn't listen...she kept spiraling out of control. She would flip flop on whether she would break up with me or not. Broke up with me a few times through tears, then would try to get back, saying she made a mistake and she figured everything out. Yeah, right. Same thing over and over. In the end, it ended up being a 3 month long break-up. It was painful and demoralizing.
What happened was, with all the thinking she was doing and all the reassuring I was trying to do, she lost IL for me. That drop in IL was the end result of this chick's over-emotionality and indecision. Another guy happened to be on the scene for her, and she flip-flopped him around too, apparently. But her IL for him was gaining while for me it was falling.
So it ended up in a cold, hateful dump.
My point is, your girl sounds a lot like mine was. She has really high interest level, a giver, and is sweet and fun to be around. (ok, well yours may not be so fun, lol). But she is a little more emotional than the average female (which is saying something). And in my case, that was really her only significant flaw, and up until the end it was never a huge problem.
And b/c your girl is emotional, she overanalyzes things like this and obsesses. This will eventually cause a drop in IL that WILL kill the relationship.
The only way to win, in my opinion (the thing I think I could have done to have prevented the torture that was the long ambiguous breakup) was to have ended it much ealrlier, as soon as her obsession started making her change her attitude towards me.
If I would have broken up, waited a few months, then maybe gotten back together, I think it would have worked out fine. I wouldn't have lost so much dignity at the very least.
So, I'm warning you about this. And in the future, NEVER break up with a girl unless you are ABSOLUTELY certain you don't want her, and you're certain it's not a misunderstanding. Some girls could probably be more rational than mine, but why risk it?
Hope this helped- -E-Z
In other news- I went through something similar. Broke up (sort of) with a chick and she got upset and I took her back. Girl starts obsessing about it day and night and starts questioning the "validity of the relationship". All the meanwhile I'm telling her "Chill out, I'm cool, I'm happy with you". Well she didn't listen...she kept spiraling out of control. She would flip flop on whether she would break up with me or not. Broke up with me a few times through tears, then would try to get back, saying she made a mistake and she figured everything out. Yeah, right. Same thing over and over. In the end, it ended up being a 3 month long break-up. It was painful and demoralizing.
What happened was, with all the thinking she was doing and all the reassuring I was trying to do, she lost IL for me. That drop in IL was the end result of this chick's over-emotionality and indecision. Another guy happened to be on the scene for her, and she flip-flopped him around too, apparently. But her IL for him was gaining while for me it was falling.
So it ended up in a cold, hateful dump.
My point is, your girl sounds a lot like mine was. She has really high interest level, a giver, and is sweet and fun to be around. (ok, well yours may not be so fun, lol). But she is a little more emotional than the average female (which is saying something). And in my case, that was really her only significant flaw, and up until the end it was never a huge problem.
And b/c your girl is emotional, she overanalyzes things like this and obsesses. This will eventually cause a drop in IL that WILL kill the relationship.
The only way to win, in my opinion (the thing I think I could have done to have prevented the torture that was the long ambiguous breakup) was to have ended it much ealrlier, as soon as her obsession started making her change her attitude towards me.
If I would have broken up, waited a few months, then maybe gotten back together, I think it would have worked out fine. I wouldn't have lost so much dignity at the very least.
So, I'm warning you about this. And in the future, NEVER break up with a girl unless you are ABSOLUTELY certain you don't want her, and you're certain it's not a misunderstanding. Some girls could probably be more rational than mine, but why risk it?
Hope this helped- -E-Z
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
ez-1st. You must not really know my "history" with PS. Dont slam me for "slamming him". If it was genuine advice, given politely and with full respect, I would listen to it. The fact that it comes across as arrogant, rude and in many ways completely incoherent, is my justification for shunning it. I STILL read it, however. At the same time, he hasnt even read my thread, and is really just posting out of his ass. So yeah, Im sure there is some truth to his "hardline" style...haha. Give me a break...but his replies to my threads are, and have been afor awhile, irrelevant.
Thanks for posting.
Thanks for posting.
E-Z Rider
Master Don Juan
Don't you think you're going to miss a lot of advice with that kind of attitude? Most worthwhile *real* advice ISN'T given politely, and doesn't go out of its way to show respect for you.
Advice is advice, don't judge its value on the pleasantries.
BTW- I've only read PS's first post in your thread, and it seemed to make sense to me. I have no idea what he said in later posts. My point was not to disregard his message because he came across like an a$$hole.
Anytime.
-E-Z
Player_Supreme
Banned
JB one of my boy's emailed your response above. I have to ask you...What History? You and I have no history together.
I gave you some advice along time ago and you didn't like it so you got all snitty about it and tried to flame me for a while...until the mod's told you to back down.
That's not history to me son...just plain stupidity. Don't confuse the two...and act like your all this and that and that we have some kind of war going on. Your not all that important.
I told you once that your the source of your problems...it's that ego of yours. That is why your having trouble. You need to get out of your own way in life kid.
You might start with a new screen name. It implies that your very smart when in actualilty....your not all that bright and that causes you to act out in certain ways to prove to others that your superior...as in the case of your first post and your attitude towards your girl.
The ego is the cause of most of man kinds problems. But once you learn to recognize it's handy work in your life then you learn to avoid the pitfalls...like the one you now find yourself in.
Your still on my ignore list. If a certain person hadn't of emailed this which will never happen again...I wouldn't know anything you ever wrote...so let's just keep it that way!
I gave you some advice along time ago and you didn't like it so you got all snitty about it and tried to flame me for a while...until the mod's told you to back down.
That's not history to me son...just plain stupidity. Don't confuse the two...and act like your all this and that and that we have some kind of war going on. Your not all that important.
I told you once that your the source of your problems...it's that ego of yours. That is why your having trouble. You need to get out of your own way in life kid.
You might start with a new screen name. It implies that your very smart when in actualilty....your not all that bright and that causes you to act out in certain ways to prove to others that your superior...as in the case of your first post and your attitude towards your girl.
The ego is the cause of most of man kinds problems. But once you learn to recognize it's handy work in your life then you learn to avoid the pitfalls...like the one you now find yourself in.
Your still on my ignore list. If a certain person hadn't of emailed this which will never happen again...I wouldn't know anything you ever wrote...so let's just keep it that way!
Player_Supreme
Banned
1 more think Jb-brain...your not in the league of a Starman. I miss the funny little faggoty fool. Now that was a real flame battle. what you offered was no challenge and no inspiration. weak convoluted flame attempts.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
First, to E-Z:
I want to thank you for brilliantly illustrating Situation One and re-enforcing why JB needs to put his foot down. I went through something similar (and ironically enough I lived in Loganville, Ga at the time) before I learned to put my foot down.
In the mean time, I can understand where you're going with the 'don't discount good advice just because of a bad delivery." Sage advice. We do part ways where it comes to PS though. I consider his case a divergence from the norm because here we have a guy who seems to delight in flame-baiting.
To PS:
You and I seem to be diverging where manliness is concerned. Flame wars are gross infringements upon my valuable time and so, in the interests of brevity I will desist from schooling you any more than absolutely necessary in response to your attacks. This should be an interesting education in nuance for you...
Furthermore, his frequent responses are not an act of desperation, but rather clarification. The proper advice in this case seems utterly counterintuitive. He wants to stay, so he must leave? Coming from his position he is frantically trying to understand every nuance of the situation. By the way, you're not helping.
Nevertheless, this is educational. I thought 'reading between the lines' was extracting reality from rhetoric. Now I guess I can throw away all life experience that says otherwise, because PS said so!
Example: If you're driving on a mountain road in the dark, its only common sense to follow road signs which tell you the ahead curvature of the road, especially when you're in unfamiliar territory. Yet you proclaim that since you're the one in the driver's seat, you shouldn't rely, however much or temporarily on any outside help. Where is the sense in that?
A final note. There is no honor is striking our brethren who come to us in their moment of weakness, simply because they are weak. Part of the responsibility of the Alpha male is to protect those in the pack who cannot protect themselves, and serve as an example to all thus leading to the enrichment of others.
-CyranoDeBergerac
I want to thank you for brilliantly illustrating Situation One and re-enforcing why JB needs to put his foot down. I went through something similar (and ironically enough I lived in Loganville, Ga at the time) before I learned to put my foot down.
In the mean time, I can understand where you're going with the 'don't discount good advice just because of a bad delivery." Sage advice. We do part ways where it comes to PS though. I consider his case a divergence from the norm because here we have a guy who seems to delight in flame-baiting.
When dealing with someone who has this specific end in mind, JB can be justified in discounting the message when the goal of the post is not enrichment, but debasement. Evidence to the fact is the delivery which is liberally peppered with arrogance, hypocrisy, and personal attacks.
To PS:
You and I seem to be diverging where manliness is concerned. Flame wars are gross infringements upon my valuable time and so, in the interests of brevity I will desist from schooling you any more than absolutely necessary in response to your attacks. This should be an interesting education in nuance for you...
Yes, its such a chore lacking horrendous physical oddities and the soul-crushing insecurities that go with them. But such is the burden of being the prize...
You're right. He's desperate. He's desperate because he has tried to solve the problem. and tried. and tried. But he still can't make heads or tails of the situation. This being the case, you should be lauding him for exhausting his own reserves and attempting to handle his situation before he was finally brought to the point of desperation and 'airing his laundry' to seek the wisdom and counsel of others.
Furthermore, his frequent responses are not an act of desperation, but rather clarification. The proper advice in this case seems utterly counterintuitive. He wants to stay, so he must leave? Coming from his position he is frantically trying to understand every nuance of the situation. By the way, you're not helping.
Nevertheless, this is educational. I thought 'reading between the lines' was extracting reality from rhetoric. Now I guess I can throw away all life experience that says otherwise, because PS said so!
This is exactly what JB is trying to do. Learn from mistakes and grow. I agree that no one can walk your path for you. I will even agree to say that life is about learning and growing. Where we seem to differ here is that I see no shame in asking for guidance every once in a while when I know I've lost my way. This by the way is not the same thing as asking someone else to walk your path for you or hold your hand while you do it.
Example: If you're driving on a mountain road in the dark, its only common sense to follow road signs which tell you the ahead curvature of the road, especially when you're in unfamiliar territory. Yet you proclaim that since you're the one in the driver's seat, you shouldn't rely, however much or temporarily on any outside help. Where is the sense in that?
Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. If there's a good opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others and avoid the consequenses of making the same mistake, why would you refuse? Is it unmanly to have foresight enough to learn from the mistakes of those that have gone before you? Every boy does not need to be taught to hunt, that much is instintual. Every boy must be taught to hunt well. It is for this reason that father's teach their sons the best ways to think and hunt, and he is better for having such tutelage.
Why does that last part remind me of Dr. Evil? Anyway, I reject your tenet that JB is acting as a woman. Women ask questions to curry sympathy and build webs of social support. Men ask questions to solve problems and build towers of personal strength. Confusing the means with the ends is like confusing apples and oranges. Ask yourself. Does JB seek our wisdom or our sympathy?
Jesus was schooling rabbis when he was twelve. Wisdom does not come with age. It comes with understanding. If you have to repeat the same mistakes that everyone makes time and time again there is no wisdom gained. Some people refuse to undergo that shift in perspective which must take place in order to find true wisdom.
A final note. There is no honor is striking our brethren who come to us in their moment of weakness, simply because they are weak. Part of the responsibility of the Alpha male is to protect those in the pack who cannot protect themselves, and serve as an example to all thus leading to the enrichment of others.
-CyranoDeBergerac
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jbbrain
Master Don Juan
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jbbrain
Master Don Juan
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
LOL. I guess what comes around goes around JB. I told you you would be back here posting this.
Yes this is the 2000's and men do not have be sitting there waiting like a woman for reciprocity to occur. You also missed my point.
I too believe in reciprocation. I just believe in men being about action not receptivity.
Here is something for you to read:
sorry I had to take out the access code to this private book
check out chapter 2 on planning. " you have to think of new ideas, new goals and new women or your mind and behavior will exhibit the old ideas patterns and women"
You keep picking the wrong type...ask yourself why? Why am I attracting this into MY life. What is going on inside of me?
I stated that you were the problem in this relationship...maybe after reading the above book you will see my point of view.
*******EZ-this is the advice that got you all over player supremes jock? I'm fvckign kidding with you dude (no offense), but you have to assure me first that youre kidding me too.
Cesare Cardinali
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2002
- Messages
- 911
- Reaction score
- 8
Hey Jbrain,
Why are you jabbing at Player Supreme and making these geriatric jokes?
This forum needs older guys with experience. Also, whether you agree with his advice or not, he does take the time to write some ok stuff and there's really no reason to call him a geriatric fool. Just ignore the reply if it bothers you so much. But calling a 44 year old a geriatric fool may turn off other "older" guys from wanting to post here and does not contribute anything to healthy discussions.
Why are you jabbing at Player Supreme and making these geriatric jokes?
This forum needs older guys with experience. Also, whether you agree with his advice or not, he does take the time to write some ok stuff and there's really no reason to call him a geriatric fool. Just ignore the reply if it bothers you so much. But calling a 44 year old a geriatric fool may turn off other "older" guys from wanting to post here and does not contribute anything to healthy discussions.
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
cesare-point taken
His age actually means nothing to me, and his age is definitely NOT the reason why I have an issue (albeit small) with him. But focus more on the second part of the phrase, and thats "fool". I think he's a fool..but thats besdides the point. He mentioned he probbaly wouldnt come back and contaminate my thread anymore, so that should be the end of that..
btw-welcome back.
His age actually means nothing to me, and his age is definitely NOT the reason why I have an issue (albeit small) with him. But focus more on the second part of the phrase, and thats "fool". I think he's a fool..but thats besdides the point. He mentioned he probbaly wouldnt come back and contaminate my thread anymore, so that should be the end of that..
btw-welcome back.
PlayerSupreme
Banned
Cyrano: Aren't you that dude who lives in vegas and is on the gay right platform. I seem to recall a debate a few months ago between you and PRL.
I think I concluded that your either bisexual or gay...or you tried it out on that side of the fence and in your mind you need to justify what you did so you jumped on the gay rights bandwagon.
Your entitled to your beliefs. Gay or otherwise. I am always amazed at any supposedly straight man who jumps on the defend gay rights thing. I guess you have your reasons.
Cyrano, don't bother responding...I put you on the ignore list. I didn't read your argument above...but it looked good. It's nice to see someone with a modicum of intelligence. I'm putting you on this list because our ideas on sexuality do not mesh and I consider anything you have to say tainted and not worthy of even reading.
JB: Uhh nevermind. You wouldn't understand or hear anything I have to say.
I'm done on this thread. I will not hijack it jb...it's all your own thing...just like the trouble you find yourself in.
everybody on this board is self created. If you find your in a state that you dont' like...you only have yourself to blame.
I think I concluded that your either bisexual or gay...or you tried it out on that side of the fence and in your mind you need to justify what you did so you jumped on the gay rights bandwagon.
Your entitled to your beliefs. Gay or otherwise. I am always amazed at any supposedly straight man who jumps on the defend gay rights thing. I guess you have your reasons.
Cyrano, don't bother responding...I put you on the ignore list. I didn't read your argument above...but it looked good. It's nice to see someone with a modicum of intelligence. I'm putting you on this list because our ideas on sexuality do not mesh and I consider anything you have to say tainted and not worthy of even reading.
JB: Uhh nevermind. You wouldn't understand or hear anything I have to say.
I'm done on this thread. I will not hijack it jb...it's all your own thing...just like the trouble you find yourself in.
everybody on this board is self created. If you find your in a state that you dont' like...you only have yourself to blame.
E-Z Rider
Master Don Juan
I just hate close-mindedness.
I don't care if in some post a guy recommends you commit suicide- you could potentially miss out on good advice if you just ignore everything he says.
If you care, you can check my past posts directed towards PS, particularly the ones in the big "Starman vs. PS" flame threads. You should find that I'm not his biggest fan.
I don't care what insults a person throws at me; I don't mind them, I could care less. You never know if they could say something worthwhile.
Anyways, my point in the first place wasn't that PS gave stellar advice (like I said, I didn't even read the posts really and don't recall what he said) but that it's weak-minded to close yourself off to people b/c they insult you (especially on an internet advice forum!).
You have to think, what is the first advice a total AFC gets when he comes here? He gets rediculed pretty bad. Some of our more flamboyant members will insult him pretty harshly. Should he ignore any advice given in the thread b/c they don't show him 'respect'?
I seriously hope you can see what I mean...
I don't care if in some post a guy recommends you commit suicide- you could potentially miss out on good advice if you just ignore everything he says.
If you care, you can check my past posts directed towards PS, particularly the ones in the big "Starman vs. PS" flame threads. You should find that I'm not his biggest fan.
I don't care what insults a person throws at me; I don't mind them, I could care less. You never know if they could say something worthwhile.
Anyways, my point in the first place wasn't that PS gave stellar advice (like I said, I didn't even read the posts really and don't recall what he said) but that it's weak-minded to close yourself off to people b/c they insult you (especially on an internet advice forum!).
You have to think, what is the first advice a total AFC gets when he comes here? He gets rediculed pretty bad. Some of our more flamboyant members will insult him pretty harshly. Should he ignore any advice given in the thread b/c they don't show him 'respect'?
I seriously hope you can see what I mean...
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
I see where you're coming from E-Z, and about the only place we differ s in considering the context and motive of the advice. Either way, I respect you and your position so I don't see the need to quibble. We'll just call it an ever so minor difference of opinion and leave it be.
-Cyrano
-Cyrano