What is frame?

[BillyPilgrim]

Frame is your regard for a situation or circumstance

 

[sceneparade]

Frame is your regard for a situation or circumstance

Can you elaborate, or give an example of how women follow your frame?

What if a "colleague" is negative and constantly critical or making negative comments about others, that you disagree with but say nothing. Are you falling into their "frame" of negativity. In this example, what would be my maintaining "frame"

 

[CornbreadFed]

If you should be calm and collective and control your emotions, then how do you deal with disrespect, even from men when you know it will lead to a physical confrontation. What do you do in those situations if you are dealing with a disrespectful aggressor?

If it leads to physical confrontation then you failed your job.

 

[sceneparade]

If it leads to physical confrontation then you failed your job.

In what way?

 

[sceneparade]

OP frame is not something you have. It is who you are. The sum total of.
Energy perhaps. Its been described more like gravity. Its just there.

But if it is who you are that serves you badly, then what?

 

[Baji]

I think if you're pretty observant, it's easy to spot when you're operating in another person's frame. For instance, a polite dog will always operate in your frame, you throw the ball and it runs to get it, bringing it back to you with all joy while wagging its tail. The 'Alpha male' in a group has the group operating under his frame. Most times it's less obvious than this, it depends on who is 'leading' or 'shaping' a conversation or interaction. When you're stopped by authority, you usually immediately subject yourself to their frame. Now leading the conversation doesn't mean who is asking questions, females can very easily use answers to prod you into their frame. It's like the unapparent energy, power or control someone has over an interaction. There really is no exact way to explain or point to it, it's something you feel.
The example you gave is just being avoidant, but if it's just between you, and she's always like that, or the conversation only revolves around things she wants, then she's a ***** using you as an emotional tampon, and yes you're operating in her frame because she 'shapes' the discussion. A way to get control will be to treat her like a 5-year-old that's rambling about something you know the answer to. Key

Can you elaborate, or give an example of how women follow your frame?

What if a "colleague" is negative and constantly critical or making negative comments about others, that you disagree with but say nothing. Are you falling into their "frame" of negativity. In this example, what would be my maintaining "frame"

here is to 'lead' her to your point of view. For instance:
You: Hmmn, why do you think Dave is a piece of **** (said in a sarcastic but serious tone, exactly how you'll tell a 5 year old)
Her: Well because %&*!&!!*#......
You: Don't you think (give your supporting argument)
Her: Well even though, he still ......................
You: But nevertheless (another 2 or 3 points)
If she has entered your frame, her demeanour will change and you should notice it, from a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum to a sombre one who just got told off and is remorseful. If she doesn't then don't interact or allow her to use you as a medium to vent her frustrations about other co-workers

Now please, this is just an example using your scenario and a lot of my biased assumptions on a lot of things. I'm using it to pass across an idea, and not a framework for your interactions. But I really hope it answers your questions and it helps.
I will advice you go to the Don Juan discussion and filter it to messages from 'Pook', really great stuff.

 

[Mike32ct]

It’s an old school PUA term that probably morphed into something slightly different to fit the more modern RP context. I’ll focus on the older version here because I’m not a modern RP-er.

In the old school context, it was about being “less reactive” than the people you were interacting with or pretty much being “unshaken” or “unphased” of sorts. Another rough equivalent was “keeping your cool under pressure.”

“Frame” had another definition which was “The underlying meaning of the interaction.” The PUAs talked about “frame control” which had to do with steering the conversation and the interaction where you want it to go. For example, steering it away from friendly small talk and more towards something romantic/sexual.

 

[sceneparade]

It’s an old school PUA term that probably morphed into something slightly different to fit the more modern RP context. I’ll focus on the older version here because I’m not a modern RP-er.

In the old school context, it was about being “less reactive” than the people you were interacting with or pretty much being “unshaken” or “unphased” of sorts. Another rough equivalent was “keeping your cool under pressure.”

“Frame” had another definition which was “The underlying meaning of the interaction.” The PUAs talked about “frame control” which had to do with steering the conversation and the interaction where you want it to go. For example, steering it away from friendly small talk and more towards something romantic/sexual.

How do you "keep your cool under pressure" in a situation when someone, for example, is being disrespectful? How do you remain cool but at the same time having self-respect and setting boundary with them or putting them in their place?

How would you steer it towards romantic/sexual? How do you start it and progress it? And how would you deal if they were not complying to your steering the conversation towards romance or of a sexual nature?

 

[Mike32ct]

How do you "keep your cool under pressure" in a situation when someone, for example, is being disrespectful? How do you remain cool but at the same time having self-respect and setting boundary with them or putting them in their place?

How would you steer it towards romantic/sexual? How do you start it and progress it? And how would you deal if they were not complying to your steering the conversation towards romance or of a sexual nature?

It’s much easier said than done. I’m not the frame master. Far from it lol. Just sharing the old definition(s).

Anyway, you can selectively ignore people or freeze them out. You don’t have to respond or fully respond to everything. One of my wings years ago would just say “I don’t know what you’re talking about” (to the unreasonable/obnoxious person), and then he’d end the conversation.

Sadly, you don’t have much control on whether the interaction will turn sexual or not. It would still depend very much on if she’s attracted to you or not. But all that aside, you can slow down your speech, make deeper eye context, touch her arm while making a point, etc. Probably better to use non-verbal means than randomly bringing up something sexual at first.

 

[sceneparade]

I think if you're pretty observant, it's easy to spot when you're operating in another person's frame. For instance, a polite dog will always operate in your frame, you throw the ball and it runs to get it, bringing it back to you with all joy while wagging its tail. The 'Alpha male' in a group has the group operating under his frame. Most times it's less obvious than this, it depends on who is 'leading' or 'shaping' a conversation or interaction. When you're stopped by authority, you usually immediately subject yourself to their frame. Now leading the conversation doesn't mean who is asking questions, females can very easily use answers to prod you into their frame. It's like the unapparent energy, power or control someone has over an interaction. There really is no exact way to explain or point to it, it's something you feel.
The example you gave is just being avoidant, but if it's just between you, and she's always like that, or the conversation only revolves around things she wants, then she's a ***** using you as an emotional tampon, and yes you're operating in her frame because she 'shapes' the discussion. A way to get control will be to treat her like a 5-year-old that's rambling about something you know the answer to. Key


here is to 'lead' her to your point of view. For instance:
You: Hmmn, why do you think Dave is a piece of **** (said in a sarcastic but serious tone, exactly how you'll tell a 5 year old)
Her: Well because %&*!&!!*#......
You: Don't you think (give your supporting argument)
Her: Well even though, he still ......................
You: But nevertheless (another 2 or 3 points)
If she has entered your frame, her demeanour will change and you should notice it, from a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum to a sombre one who just got told off and is remorseful. If she doesn't then don't interact or allow her to use you as a medium to vent her frustrations about other co-workers

Now please, this is just an example using your scenario and a lot of my biased assumptions on a lot of things. I'm using it to pass across an idea, and not a framework for your interactions. But I really hope it answers your questions and it helps.
I will advice you go to the Don Juan discussion and filter it to messages from 'Pook', really great stuff.

Thanks. In my example, I was actually referring to a male colleague.

But how would it look if I was falling into their frame?

For example, I arranged a date with a woman, but everything I took her she want interested in. So in the end we went eventually to what she liked.

And to add to your point about not interacting: are you saying if they do not enter your frame, you walk away / don't let them use you as an emotional tampon?

 

[sceneparade]

If this is true then I would take a look at your values.
If its a substance abuse thing then I would look at that. Frame is the sub frequency of the totals in your life. Its just not 1 thing.
"In your frame" is just a term for something lining up with your values or not"
So as we say in the context of women when you "break frame" with her she "feels" your incongruent with your values.
In turn she sees you as not valuing yourself which will eventually dry her up.
This is how they find strong men. Through emotional testing and manipulation they weed out the puzzies.
This is were frame comes in.

By Puzzy I mean the guy not strong enough to allow her waves to bash against him. He "moves too easy"

So, if for example, I went on a date (which I did) with a woman, and she was 34 but was still partying/drinking etc like she was in her 20s, and I have been there and done that in my 20s, so have an issue with it, would me walking away due to her partying being incongruent with my values and hence remaining congruent with my "frame"

 

[sceneparade]

It’s much easier said than done. I’m not the frame master. Far from it lol. Just sharing the old definition(s).

Anyway, you can selectively ignore people or freeze them out. You don’t have to respond or fully respond to everything. One of my wings years ago would just say “I don’t know what you’re talking about” (to the unreasonable/obnoxious person), and then he’d end the conversation.

Sadly, you don’t have much control on whether the interaction will turn sexual or not. It would still depend very much on if she’s attracted to you or not. But all that aside, you can slow down your speech, make deeper eye context, touch her arm while making a point, etc. Probably better to use non-verbal means than randomly bringing up something sexual at first.

I get the deeper eye contact thing. I have had women when talking to me holding eye contact for literally over a minute, but I do have a hyper thought process and hence have lots of thoughts at the same time and so talk fast.

And you say selectively ignore people, what about the ones that are just looking for confrontation and there default is to get feminine and want to "kick-off", i.e physical

 

[sceneparade]

Yes that is correct. Important during dating. When you are in an LTR things get a bit more fluid and the principles are the same but the view is a bit different.

So in the following example, did I lose frame?

I arranged a date with a woman, but everything I took her she want interested in. So in the end we went eventually to what she liked. Did I have no "frame"?


Also, what is game? Can you recommend any books on game? I have Neil Strauss, but I didn't find it useful. Also have AMS and R Cooker, but not much there either. I did hear about terms such as amused mastery, and negs and dread game, and **** but funny. What are all these "game" techniques?

 

[Plinco]

I have heard the term frame.

Can anyone advise me on what it means?

Is it your values and beliefs? For example, religious beliefs, political beliefs, how you view women, How you view the world.

What would frame look like when interaction with a woman? When meeting a woman. When on a date. When with them. etc.

What would frame look like when interacting with men?

Could you give contexts and examples so I better understand it.

I have read about women living in your reality. What does this mean? Again, examples or contexts would be immensely helpful.

I have heard about setting ground rules and unconditional obedience to these rules. wHat does this mean?

Finally, I am not sure whether it needs a second post, but what is game? Can anyone offer guidance, and also any books that would help me understand game.


Thanks

Another way to understand the frame concept is it is your personal context that is being projected.

If you condition someone to do something that benefits you is an example of you having a stronger frame than the person being conditioned.

 

[xavier_2000]

Yo just posted about this earlier and thought of this thread.

Basically frames are the core principles that guide your behaviour.

Everyone talks about the actions when you have a strong frame but nobody explains it.

It goes like this Frame > Behaviour > Action.

Frame dictates your behaviour.

So the action of putting up with her BS:

Care what she thinks about you > wanting to make sure she likes you > putting up with her BS

Now.

Don't care what she thinks > accepting that she is probably lying to you > completely unreactive to her BS and total nonchalance because you are not attached to her

 

[xavier_2000]

So in the following example, did I lose frame?

I arranged a date with a woman, but everything I took her she want interested in. So in the end we went eventually to what she liked. Did I have no "frame"?


Also, what is game? Can you recommend any books on game? I have Neil Strauss, but I didn't find it useful. Also have AMS and R Cooker, but not much there either. I did hear about terms such as amused mastery, and negs and dread game, and **** but funny. What are all these "game" techniques?

I'd recommend

Mode One & Upfront and Straightforward by Roger Allan Currie, Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion, Models by Mark Manson, Mystery Method (Absolute last one... Read it to remind yourself of sticking points, negs, etc. Just little tactics to practice. Or know how to do the fundamentals again)

 

[xavier_2000]

I arranged a date with a woman, but everything I took her she want interested in. So in the end we went eventually to what she liked. Did I have no "frame"?

Yes correct.

Because your frame is your intention.

What principles did you act from?

Frame = I care if she liked the date.

She understands it as = "I care if you like me"

You can try to look as non caring as possible or whatever.

But girls see through that instantly.

Girls are human lie detectors.

Every little stutter or anything they see that stuff. You can't hide how you feel. It will express itself no matter how hard you try to.

The solution? Just download new beliefs.

Basically it goes like this:

Thoughts > Beliefs > Frame > Behaviour > Action

 

[xavier_2000]

The best way to install new beliefs is through Socratic dialogue...

That's how I write my threads.

I hope people critically analyze it and critique it and add it to their own set of beliefs.

 

[sceneparade]

Kind of vague in that example. Initial dating on were to go does not need to be so rigid.
Be rigid with your boundaries not venues so much.

As to your game books. Yours are fine.
Strauss is ok.
It is more advantageous to you to learn WHY game is working while practicing.
Female psychology.

Practical female psychology for the practical man is a good book.

Also I highly recommend Heartiste on Game by Roissey
Its a great mix of psychology and game.

Look up Rian Stone and read his new book. He is my go to on frame. The guy is pretty solid.

Could you give examples of typical female behaviours and how you set those boundaries? For example, inappropriate behaviour. I had one girl injust met all about my privates. Very inappropriate.

 

[sceneparade]

Ok I dont really get this. Not going into details. Just keep learning. Every guys boundaries are a bit different. Its your life

I was just saying I met a colleague and within 5 to 10 mins started asking questions about my privates.

I was just asking for examples of other people's boundaries. Examples relating to thoughts > behaviours> frame > action